Le Malheureux

There are those who spend their whole lives asleep only to be awoken by death; The Unfortunates. Then there are those who suddenly-sometimes unexplainable-wake from their fragile slumber and realize that their life is in fact worth living; The Luckies. And lastly there are those who have been awake their whole lives waiting for their ultimate delusion to come to life, only to die and never have experienced the feeling of being alive; The Reveries. And as I look upon the grave of Rin Renning I cling to those words for dear life, for they are some of the most memorable things about my girlfriend. She had always had that slightly different, if not flawed, outlook on the world. It was as if she was always two steps ahead of life itself; she always had input to whatever situation she was in. But really she was only pretending because in actuality Rin Renning was always three steps behind, taking life as it came her way but never passing her by.

Rin Renning was a lie, and a beautiful one at that. Her slim and willowy frame made her appear as a model, but her sun-kissed hourglass figure is what made her every males dream. Her lightly dusted pink lips always in a small pout under her button nose, which was centered perfectly between her rosy cheeks; She’d always be my rosy cheeks. I knew from the moment my gaze traveled to her gray eyes and my finger combed through her honey brown curls that framed her heart shaped face and tumbled just below her boobs that it was love at first sight; She was the one for me.

But Rin was complicated and she was not going to let me shout victory without making me work for it. She was breathtakingly whimsical, charismatic, spicy, and spontaneous. Her bold moves were what made her seem so enticing yet dangerous. Rin Renning was the perfect girl in so man ways, but she also had her imperfections. And each one of them hurt me to my core. Alcohol. Drugs. Sex. She’d drink excessive amounts of alcohol to have a ”little fun.” Or experiment with drugs to “block out the pressure.” The worst being the sex she would have with random dudes, claiming that “I didn’t do it for her.” The first time I had caught her had been the last time she did it. And the last time I saw her.

She didn’t die by the bullet clinging to her heart; That had put her in a coma. And she stayed that way for three weeks-still, cold, lifeless. It wasn’t her, it wasn’t in her nature. Rin’s body was still here, asleep as ever, but she had long since awaken. But then I’d be fabricating if I said I believed this. Rin Renning spent her whole life asleep, wishing, dreaming, and hoping that she was awake. And now that she had gone Rin was awake. Rin Renning, the love of my life, was an Unfortunate.