Six Years and a Baby Later

Alexis' POV

The next morning was slow. I looked like crap, due to the lack of sleep last night. My mom came in several times to calm me down from crying, she just wound up sleeping there with me so she didn't have to keep getting up. I felt bad, but i couldn't help it. Yesterday was just so overwhelming. How did things get so fucked up? Oh, that's right, i got pregnant. Is it just me, or does it seem that EVERY time something gets good, something else happens to fuck it all up. I'm getting tired of it.

I feel like a burden, to everyone. I can't even raise my daughter on my fucking own! Granted, I'm only 19, but still. Regardless, i should still be able to care for my daughter without my mom. Our family is just fucked up. It's not even a legit family. It's a group of 3 girls, if you don't count my mom's boyfriend, Phil.

Speaking of Phil, isn't he coming over today?

As if on cue, there was a knock on the door. Emilia hoped up and ran to the door to get it. I just smiled and turned back to the t.v. I heard her screech and start to giggle then, plopped right down next to me on the couch.

I turned my neck to the right and smiled at Phil who had Emilia on his lap and was climbing all over him, "Hey, Phil. How are you?" i asked, giving him a quick hug.

"Fine, fine," he smiled, "what about you?"

I sighed, "uh...I've been better."

He nodded, "i heard. You're mom told me last night. Said you were pretty shaken up."

I nodded, doing a quick massage to my face, "yeah. I wasn't expecting it. Took me totally off guard. They were the LAST people I'd expect to see again, and now he's kinda got a clue that Emilia is his..."

"So why don't you just tell him the truth?" he asked.

"O.K. Let me ask you this.." i said, trying to make it so he was in my shoes, "if you were a girl, and you got knocked up, but didn't find out till the day AFTER your boyfriend left, and six year later..he was a rock star and you cant even afford to raise your daughter without your mom, and he came back....would you tell him the truth?"

He pursed his lips in thought [which Emilia thought it would be funny to flick his lips up and down] and then turned to me, "Eventually, yes. I just think that he would have a right to know. Being old and being a father, i know that i, personally, would want to know the truth."

"But we're talking about a rock star here. I could mess up his life AND mine."

"Rock star or not, once he's off that stage, he's a regular guy with feelings and emotions."

"You're such a guy," i groaned in a joking manner.

Phil chuckled, "well isn't that a good thing. At least you know that you're mom is dating a guy."

i laughed and my mom walked out, "Oh, Phil. I didn't know you were here yet. Should we go?"

"Yeah," he smiled at her, setting Emilia on the ground.

Both him and I stood up and Emilia and i walked with them towards the door.

"So where are you two love-birds goin'?" i asked them with a smile.

"Just out to dinner," Phil said, "then I'm going to take her around the city for a bit, catch a movie, maybe get ice cream or something."

"How old are you two? Like...90?" i joked, "shouldn't you be going to a bingo drawling or something."

They laughter, "Shh...my daughter," my mom said, turning and putting her hand on the side of my face, "such a joker," then she patted my face harder.

i laughed and Emilia giggled besides me, "Mommy...you're silly."

"Yes she is," Phil said, "Oh. I almost forgot," he pulled a little plastic ring with a pink heart panted on i and also a bag of candy and handed it to her, "don't eat the candy before dinner."

"DANKE PHILLY-WILLY!" Emilia exclaimed hugging him.

Phil picked her u as they opened the door and stepped down on the welcome mat where they lingered for a bit. We heard a car door close and we all turned our heads in the direction only for me to go wide-eyed again as Bill was making his way towards us.

My mom turned to me, "Honey, we can stay if you want us too."

i shook my head no and Emilia asked, "Mommy...can i go see daddy?!" she asked excitedly as Phil put her down.

"Emilia, PLEASE don't call him daddy," My mom said.

Emilia took that as the OK and went running to him screaming, "BIIIILLLLLL!!!"

I saw Bill smile and bend down as she ran to him, knocking him backwards. They fell to the ground and he started tickling her and kissing her cheek. As cute as i thought that was, i was also a little mad. Why doesn't he believe me when i say he's not that dad. OK, sure, it's lie, but he should still believe me.

Phil turned to me, "Bill Kaulitz?!" he looked at me in shock, "wow. I stick to the advice i told you earlier, but..wow. Are you sure you don't want us to stay?" He asked as Bill continued walking toward us, carrying a smiling Emilia.

"No. I can handle this. You two can go on your date," i said.

They nodded and Bill came up, smiling, "Hello." he smiled at my mom.

"Bill. Nice to see you again," she gave him a little hug.

"You too," he smiled at her, then at me and turned to Phil.

"Oh, nice to meet you. I'm Phil, her boyfriend," Phil said, smiling at my mom.

"It's nice to meet you," Bill politely shook his hand.

"You too. I've heard....no a lot about you. But enough..." he joked, chuckling a bit.

Bill chuckled, unsure.

"Alright, well, we're off," my mom said then turned to me, "We should be back around-"

"I'm not your mom," i cut her off, "you don't have a curfew. Just...get home. We don't need any more kids running around."

They laughed and my mom blushed slightly, walking to the car and i watched them drive off. I turned my direction to Bill who was still holding Emilia as she twiddled with his hair that were in some type of braid.

"Are you gonna play with us?" Emilia asked Bill, hopeful.

Bill smiled at her, "Ja, mein engel. I'll play with you."

"Don't call her that," i hissed, "you don't even know her."

"She's my daughter. She's the middle of you and me, to me...that's perfect."

i laughed with venom in my voice "the only thing she got from YOU...was you carrying her up to the door. Bill, how many times do i need to tell you that you're NOT her dad."

Emilia looked at me, confused, "But...yesterday-"

"EMILIA!" i snapped and shook my head no.

She looked down as if she did something wrong. I felt bad for snapping like that and for lying, but it's for the best. What I'm doing is the right thing, right?

We walked into the house and Emilia immediately started dragging him all over the house, showing him stuff. Her room and the (lack of) toys in her room, her kid books, her clothes, drawings, pictures. EVERYTHING. She can go on and on about NOTHING. She told him about her friends at school and about the bullies and she just kept on talking. You'd think that Bill would get tired and annoyed, but he seemed more or less...interested. It was a shock.

But I'm still not happy about him being here.

I walked into her room where they were both sitting on her small bed and she was showing him a photo album, "Em, what do you want for dinner?"

"Can Billa stay too?!" She asked with pleading eyes. Then bill turned to me and gave me the SAME EXACT look, if it weren't for the gender and age difference, they'd look like twins.

I sighed, "alright. What do you want to eat?"

She smiled and then exclaimed, "RICE!"

Ugh...on any other day this would have been OK. But seeing as in this is one of Bill's favorite dishes..not so much.

"What do you want with it?" i asked, "chicken nuggers?" i asked, using our nickname for it.

"JA!"

"Is that fine with you?" i asked Bill.

He nodded with a smile, "I love those foods."

I nodded about to walk out and turned back around, "Clean yourself up in a little bit, OK?" i said to Emilia. She nodded and i walked out.

In the kitchen, i took out all the appliances and the food and started getting down to business. All the while, i was thinking. Why is he HERE?! I know that he's persistent, but this is about a KID. Any other guy would have left, running. But then again, this isn't just ANY OTHER GUY. We're talking about a rock star. But even then, they would be out the door before you could even say 'kid'. Why doesn't he just give up?

I heard someone walk in, behind me. Knowing that it was Bill, instead of turning around, i talked.

"What are you doing here, Bill?" i asked.

"I needed to get Tom's cap," he responded, walking up next to me and leaning on the counter.

"Why couldn't Tom get it?"

"Busy."

"So why didn't you just get it and leave."

"Because my daughter wanted me to stay," he said with all seriousness.

"Bill," i groaned, stopping what i was doing and turning to face him, "for the last time...Emilia is NOT your daughter."

"I don't believe you," Bill said, shaking his head, "why are you lying?"

"WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!" i groaned, tossing the spoon at the back of the stove top where the burners were off in anger and annoyance.

"Because, you were a part of my life when i was little and i don't want to give that up."

"You already did," i said, turning to face him, "you gave that up, six years ago."

He looked at me with hurt in his eyes, "you don't mean that. I didn't give that up. I told you i was going to come back and i did. I came back. I expected you to be happy. I expected you to be..."

"child-less?" i questioned, a tinge of anger in my voice

"Well...yes. But at least I'M the dad."

"How can you say that?" i asked, tears in my eyes, "how old are you?" i asked him, clearing my throat.

"...19?"

"And how long has it been sine I've seen you?"

"six years," he responded, not knowing where i was going with this.

"How often are you away from home?"

He kind of got a hint at where i was going with this, right after he said, "a lot."

"And do you know how to raise a kid?"

"No...but i can learn, Alexis. I can find out and i can be here for you and my daughter and i can take you two with me on tour...maybe. And-"

"She's not your daughter," i muttered, turning back to the stove and continuing to stir the rice.

"Yes she is," he said, a bit angry now, "she IS my daughter. I don't care WHAT you say, she's my daughter," then he walked out of the kitchen.

UGH!!! Can't i have a sign? Just one fucking sign?!