Remember the Time

SEVEN
Neverland

Living with Michael in Neverland was amazing I could never describe its magnificence I can only describe the marvelous time I had there, we could stay up late at night or watch the sunrise early in the morning, sometimes after eating lunch we could go for a walk and come back until it was dark, I loved the train station it was my favorite part in the whole ranch because it made me feel like if I was in another time waiting in the station for my love to arrive. I felt in an Austen’s film, suddenly I realized it was too big for only the two of us would we be throwing a party every day?

“It’s for us and the children” I remember the first impression of those words he said, the children, of course I wanted to have children but just one or two at least three, but he thinking of having a whole class of children, he then corrected me “We’ll be inviting children that are ill, children from orphanages, and children from our friends too”

“Then it shouldn’t be called Neverland, it should be Disneyland” I joked.
And just a month after being settled the children came, it was fun I won’t deny it, but they just wanted to be with Michael and me—being a selfish person—didn’t want to share him, I mean I could share him with the world, because when he was giving a concert the fans didn’t touch him, but the children were a whole different story.

They threw him at the pool over and over again, he was all the time playing, jumping, joking, like one of them, and this at the beginning was cute, I took so many pictures of this adorable moments, when we were finally alone he was planning when his next sleepover was or which foundation of children with cancer he was going to invite, I tried to be supportive but after two years of this and he busy on the records I thought “No more” we still shared intimacy but it was becoming more of an obligation.

Where was the man that used to send my favorite flowers? The man who made me laugh until the tears slid down my cheeks? Where was my Michael? Playing with the kids I answered.

While modeling I heard some girls saying that when their boyfriends were distant, they started to meet another man and the boyfriend would be jealous because of this. That’s just what I needed a little bit of jealousy from his part to pay more attention to me.

In 1991 he was busy as always in the making of “Dangerous” he’d told me that he just needed a couple of songs to complete the track list, so I heard of a party in a club of L.A with men for sure, so I just needed a photographer to take a shoot of me with him and Michael would see it everywhere. Perfect. He would be back and I would be happy as it was supposed to be, don’t get me wrong I was happy I was just in need of more attention.
So off I went to the party where I saw very familiar faces all asked the same “Where’s Mike?” I’d answer that he was busy with the album—which happened to be true. Then at that party a man with short dirty blonde hair approached, he was of course handsome but at this point I was not attracted by anyone.

“You are Abbey Jones” he said offering his hand I shook it, and I remember it was rough and his fore palm was soft “I’m john” that night I didn’t recognize who he was because I was not into others music only Michael’s, so after a few days I found out he was Jon Bon Jovi; which to me was a funny name, however my wish came true while talking to him a photographer took us a picture and Michael saw it the very next day while I had hangover because of the little alcohol I had, he showed me the tabloid and demanded.

“Who is this?” I was more than pleased with his reaction I’ve never seen Michael angry only that day, his usual calm face was now replaced by an angry mask.

“Just a friend” he left after I said that and that’s when I saw the picture it was me and john laughing but he was rather close to me, I decided to shrug it off, after that Michael was more interested on what I did, he helped me with the climbing rosebush I had planted weeks ago, he helped in the house, he took me shopping and even to the studio and after he recorded he would come to me and ask.

“Do you like it?” or “How was that?” I was proud as a peacock, because the tabloids said we were “The couple of the year” he kissed me in public—something he barely did. Or he would say “I love you” more often while we were alone and when we woke up he would say “I cannot believe I’m with you” this was better than anything, the way he was showing his love for me was not only creative but beautiful.

One day he woke me at three in the morning because he wanted to take me to Hawaii, in other time he took me to an airport—I was completely clueless I thought we would be traveling again. He gave me a funny outfit and I put it on and he was wearing the same, we got in a silver plane and a tall blonde man gave us glasses to then explain “how to fall and open it” then up in the sky I realized we had to throw ourselves with a parachute, I was scared because I’d heard of cases when the parachute didn’t open but Michael took me by the hand and flashed me a shiny smile before pulling me down with him.

The feeling of being there flying was amazing I felt the adrenaline increasing and how it all looked from there it was all so tiny and very, very beautiful, I was admiring every single detail, the sky, the feeling of the air trying to make us float and the gravity pulling us down when Michael shouted my name I looked at him and he pointed down with his finger I then looked.

What I first thought was “Bloody hell we’re going to crash!” but then I saw written in the grass “Happy Valentines Day” I cried but the wind pushed my tears up, then he told me to open the parachute the landing was soft and I was out of breath, I walked up to the writing and saw that what were lined up to form the words were petals of roses, thousands of them, I am not good with dates and it was good that he was because otherwise I don’t know what would have been of us, the wind suddenly blew the petals off but it didn’t matter because I saw the message, and I felt horrible because I didn’t plan anything he said “Never mind you’ve already thrown from a plane, you trusted me, and that’s my gift” I was not proud of throwing myself from that plane. I was proud of being his wife, because if I had married my first boyfriend he wouldn’t have done what Michael did.

Being a total gentleman and an unpredictable person were what I loved from him, I didn’t care of the sleepovers or that he had to do a sexy video with Naomi Campbell because on those months he reassured to me that he was mine and all mine, he never looked at other women because he said “They are nothing compared to you” 1991 was our happiest year, nothing could be better. It was then when the first letter came.

It was directed to “Mrs. Jackson” which confused me, I’ve got letter from the fans but sending a letter like this was very old-fashioned, so after my daily routines and after going to the studio with Michael I decided to open it I was shocked because it had no sign but the most passionate words any one had ever say to me. It began

Dearest I:
As you have probably gathered, my own life is boring, plain and is galloping farce
This is rapidly degenerating day by intolerable day.
It seems and according to my calculations is been an eternity since I last saw or spoke to you
Please do this, whatever it may say, my mind will be at rest
Yours j.

I quickly assumed it was from some weirdo, but decided to keep it in the drawer of my underwear, just in case. Since Michael was busy giving some instructions to the guys who took care of the giraffe I decided to watch the T.V, I wish I hadn’t because then the penny dropped, in the big screen was a picture of Michael with the gorgeous Lisa Marie Presley, she was taking him by the hand and they both were laughing, I felt how my heart was ripped, I was about to go and ask Michael for an explanation the announcer said: “how come Abbey Jones didn’t notice he was seeing Lisa Marie?” I couldn’t stand the humiliation, everybody knew except for me, that’s why he’s been to kind I kept mumbling on my way back to the room, that’s why he kept you busy.

I packed what I could and headed to the door, the tears burnt in my eyes and the pain in my chest was growing intense, I bumped into Michael and he asked me.
“Where are you going?”

“I’m leaving you” I said before opening the door and disappearing into the night.
He didn’t follow me and I was afraid that our marriage was over, on the way to New York I never stopped crying, not even when daddy hugged me and rubbed my back, not even when he sang my favorite song, this only made me cry harder because that song was the one I sang to him a while ago, I thought my life was over nothing else was left for me. I wanted to die.

But this wouldn’t keep me from suffering, I was sure that Michael was going to ask me to divorce him, after three years he got tired of me and went off to be with someone else.