Remember the Time

EIGHT
The Muse.
I never get how I could inspire Michael to write “Remember the time” when I asked him he said “It was you and your departure what took me to write it, I was not going to let you go without fighting to get you back” I was very glad he fought with the best he had. Music. He knew how much I loved music in a time of my teenage years I thought of starting a band with some of my friends but later declined because I had no talent.
I was away from Michael for about three months, three ghastly and miserable months in which I never stop crying and having dreams about him with Lisa Marie, then one day I realized that I was keeping him from being with her. So I took the decision of going to Neverland, pick up my things and then come back to start over.
In those three months he kept calling but the very sound of his voice made me break, I became a porcelain doll which was more than easy to break. There were days when I didn’t eat—I must have weighed eight stones. I cried uncontrollably in my room hugging my knees to my chest asking a simple “Why?” I knew no one was ever going to answer that, I just happened to be lucky, lucky that Michael married me. Deep inside a voice said “Don’t give up, fight for him, you can work this out” the thing was maybe I didn’t want to, maybe I was tired of the media—they followed me everywhere. Maybe I was tired of being eclipsed by his shadow, his fame his fortune, maybe I just wanted to run away but then everybody would call me a coward. Maybe what I just needed was space and when I finally got it I saw how much privacy I had, there in the flat with daddy and not tons of servants coming in and out, I could cook by myself—jam and toast. I felt free.
But I was not going to enjoy my freedom alone, I wanted Michael to enjoy it with me to arrive tired from work instead of “dead” I wanted to watch the news while eating, and I wanted to do the shopping for myself, I wanted to be the housewife and not only the wife. But I knew he loved so much what he did it was stupid I even talk about his retirement when he was at the top.
So on march of 1991 I went back to the ranch it was still beautiful and magnificent, I didn’t knock on the big door just went inside up to our room and nobody saw me which was good I just wanted to leave soon, when I opened the door of our room he was there staring at the ceiling and looking like a mess, my stomach sank and my heart raced he looked exactly—if not worse—than me. He looked up to see me and said “Are you here to break the remaining pieces of my heart?” his voice sounded tired, he looked older and then I realized how much I loved him, how stupid of me was to leave, when it was obvious he would never cheat on me or hurt me in any way I also realized why didn’t follow me that night. He wanted me to be happy even if this meant his misery.
That night I heard the truth, he and Lisa Marie were friends, nothing more, nothing less, she was a friend of his and I didn’t have to worry about her. Why was he holding hands with her? There were so many people he was afraid of her getting mobbed, it was all for nothing all those tears I cried showed me how stupid and childish I were.
Then after being totally honest with each other he grabbed my hand and dragged me to the kitchen, after hearing how much I enjoyed cooking salads and simple stuff he was very glad, and wanted me to make a salad for him, while chopping and mixing he said how everybody told him to forget about me and I was very glad he never heard them because that would have been my end.
“I really missed you, I was thinking of how I was going to make you come back” he said
“Any good ideas?” I asked.
“Of course but not good enough; The best was about to be put on work but then you arrived and well I don’t need it any more, I would’ve love to see your expression though” he said while laughing. I told him to tell me about it, but instead he dragged me out of the kitchen I was about to finish the salad when he told me to seat in the couch and watch, he started to dance and snap his fingers, then he sang the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard, and until now my favourite so far.

He told me in a matter-of-fact way that he wrote it to me, and it turned out to be a great single “Remember the time” was on the “Dangerous” album, so many people said it was beautiful and had a big meaning which Michael later explained, he said “When my Abbey left all the moments we shared came back at once, that’s how I wrote it” nobody believed that I was not only his wife, now they said I was his muse which I liked it was more likeable than “the Jackson tenth” and it made me feel loved by Michael. Later I heard the final version of the song, but my favourite was without all the styling, I enjoy until today the version by only Michael Jackson without the background music, only his foot tapping the marble floor to keep the beat, the one he sang to me in the living room of Neverland.
I remember that in December while Michael was helping me to decorate Neverland the telephone rang I went to pick it up, it was a male’s voice at first I thought I was someone who wanted to speak to Michael but then he said “Did you got my letter?” I was confused because I didn’t remember the letter I got months ago; I was too busy living my life. I said “Which letter?” I asked because the curiosity always gets the best out of me. “The one I sent months ago, the one you probably won’t forget, and the one I bet you keep” then it sank in me like a bucket of cold water; I remembered the letter and the words of passion.
The fact I was talking with the writer made me excited I finally could know the name of such a poet. “Oh I remember, but I can’t figure out who are you?” I asked. “I’m John” he simply said, I was about to ask who but then a guy with short dirty blonde hair came to my mind, for the second time in my life I felt excited about a man. “Was that from you?” I asked emphasizing you, he let out a chuckle that was filled with triumph, and then I went back to help mike but my mind was somewhere else.
Was I having an affair with him? No that was for sure because I loved Michael.
Would I jump in the wagon that had been waiting for me all those months? The answer I didn’t know, but I was sure that the final chuckle of john meant that I would be receiving more of those passionate letters.
Was I going to be able to stop him? No because I didn't want to