Dark Eyed Dreamers

Two things should never be in the kitchen alone. The first one was my dad. The second one was Mikayla. I was laying on my bed talking to Zack when I heard the smoke alarm going off. I was still on the phone with Zack when I opened the my bedroom door and a cloud of smoke hit me in the face.

"Oh shit! I’ll call you back." I didn’t give Zack time to respond in anyway before I ran downstairs and into the kitchen.

"Oh, hey Brae!" Mikayla greeted me casually while she opened the back door and flung a steaming pot into the backyard.

"What are you doing? You could have set the house on fire!" I screamed over the screeching of the smoke detector. Panic struck me, I should have known better than to think Mikayla wouldn’t be able to make herself something to eat almost burning the house down.

"Stop being over dramatic! I just forgot I was cooking for a few minutes.

"Yeah. You’re never cooking anything in this house...ever again!" I yelled still in a bit of panic as I turned the stove off. I hit the reset button on the screaming alarm on the wall, silencing it finally.

"Now what am I going to eat?" Mikayla complained.

"I dunno! Go get something!" I yelled in frustration pushing the window open to let the smoke out of the kitchen. Mikayla shrugged and walked out of the kitchen leaving me to clean up the kitchen that she almost set fire to.

- - -

I’ve always felt that car rides allowed the perfect opportunity to think. Especially when the car is filled with a comfortable silence, the only sounds being the cars passing by and the radio. Normally, I would be enjoying the time I had with my thoughts. As I sat in the passenger seat of Zack’s car I was left with only unsettling thoughts.

Was I too dependant on Zack? Was I considered a bitchy girlfriend. I never said Zack couldn’t go out with the guys or anything. I never got mad when he did go out with the guys.

"Zack?"

"Hm?" He responded keeping his eyes on the road.

"Am I a bitchy girlfriend?"

"What?" Zack asked shifting his eyes to me momentarily while laughing. "No. Why?"

"I’m not too controlling or dependant on you or anything, am I?"

"No. Where are you getting this from?"

"Well...Jack said-"

"Don’t listen to what Jack says. He’s just jealous that he doesn’t have a girlfriend like you." I relaxed into the passenger seat a little and smiled. He was so lame and I loved it. Zack and I sat in the comfortable silence again. Then another thought popped into my head, one that had been bothering me since Zack and I first agreed to mutually end our relationship the day he left.

What would happen to us? Would we consider this a break or a break up? I was confused. Were we putting ‘us’ on pause or were putting ‘us’ to an end? How would I survive knowing that Zack could be miles away with all sort of girls? How could I survive that while I stayed in my dorm and studied, waiting until Christmas break when I would see him again.

That was another thing. Would things between us be awkward? I imagined they would be. How could things not be awkward when you reunite with someone you never wanted to leave in the first place. Would we still spend all of our free time talking on the phone or texting? Probably not. Zack was going to be meeting new people everyday, and so was I for that matter. We were going to grow apart! That’s the last thing I wanted.

Zack and I were supposed to be in love. I didn’t understand why I had agreed to this mutual ending of our relationship. Why weren’t we attempting to make this work? Isn’t that what two people who are in love supposed do? See each other through the bad times not quit when things get tough.

"Zack?" I said again, this time hesitating more when I climbed out of his car.

"Yeah?" Zack asked walking to my side of the car.

Did I want to do this now? Did I want to do this here on the sidewalk of one my former classmate’s neighborhood? Where all the people hanging around outside could hear us. No. I didn’t want that. That would be more to add to the rumor being spread about me. Which, incase you’re wondering, said I cheated on Zack with Jack was now pregnant with his child...and I thought high school was over.

"I love you." I smiled up at Zack, because it was true. I did love him.

"I love you too." He smiled back, holding his hand out for me to take. When I did take his hand I forgot about all the doubts that filled my head. I walked into the party completely carefree and in love with Zachary Steven Merrick.