Dark Eyed Dreamers

The drive to my Grandma’s house was much shorter than I ever remembered it being. When Rae and I were younger and were stuck in the backseat fighting over which song off of our Disney sing-along cassette we wanted to listen to next, the ride seemed much longer. Yeah, it had been that long since I had been at my Grandma’s house; she normally came to our house.

“There you are! Come here!” Grandma shouted happily, walking off of her front porch and wrapping her arms around me in the best Grandma hug ever. She obviously knew that I didn’t drive four hours just to explore the wilderness surrounding her house or the lake. I drove four hours just for that hug, and I’ll admit that it was worth it.
“Hi, Gram!” I grinned, hugging her tightly.

“Come on inside, Grandpa just finished up dinner. We’re having smashed potatoes, those are still your favorite aren’t they?”

“Anything Grandpa makes is my favorite.” I answered honestly. I don’t know where my father got his ability to destroy food; both of his parents are food geniuses.

“That’s my girl!” Grandma smiled, squeezing my shoulder.

- - -
After I ate more food than I thought I could ever eat, I settled into my room. It was the room Rae and I had shared every summer until we hit middle school and got too cool to hang out at the lake with out Grandparents.

It was that room that made me realize how badly I missed my twin. I hadn’t seen her or talked to her much in days. The coloring book page filled with a multicolored Cinderella is what made me miss her the most. The page was hanging on the wall in between the two beds. We hung it the night we thought our room was haunted by shadow people, who could be fought off with color. We had over active imaginations to say the least.

I decided after sitting on my bed for a few minutes that I needed to call my sister. I needed to talk to her; if there was anyone knew how to make me feel better it was Reagan. Of course, she also had no problem telling me I was being selfish, immature, and paranoid or anything else I didn’t want to hear.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and turned it on, placing it onto the table between the bed that belongs to me and the bed that belongs to Reagan. I walked out of the room, leaving my phone to start up, and found myself in the bathroom. I washed my face, wishing that I could wash Zack out of my thoughts as easily as I washed the makeup off of my face.

I was still having a hard time accepting the fact that Zack didn’t try to apologize. I couldn’t understand how I was wrong there. How was I being selfish, that’s what I wanted to know? Was it selfish of me to miss my Senior Prom so I could be at Zack’s show? Was it selfish of me to spend my last birthday helping Zack recover from a nasty hangover, not caring at all because I was with him? Was it selfish of me to pick him up every time he was too drunk to drive home? Absolutely.

I was so selfish that I didn’t care what I sacrificed in order to spend time with Zack. It didn’t matter to me that what I risked as long as I was with him. I’d do anything in order to prove how much I loved him. It was so fucking selfish of me.

I slammed things around in the bathroom, just trying to let out all the anger I had pent up. After every sacrifice I made for Zack, he had the nerve to call me selfish! At that moment, I didn’t give a shit if I never talked to Zack again. As far as I was concerned, Zack Merrick and I were no longer a couple.

- - -

“Hey, it’s your twin. I know where you are but I respect your choice of being silent so I’m not going to tell anyone that you’re at Grandma and Grandpa’s house. Tell them that I love and miss them, by the way! I have a lot I need to talk to you about, but I’m exhausted so call me in the morning…by morning I mean afternoon. Um, Jack is having a panic attack so you should probably call him. Love you, bye!” I hit a button, deleting that message and going onto the next one.

“You better turn your phone one right now, wench!” Jack yelled. I grinned and listened to the next message. “That was mean, I’m sorry! Please call me! Loooooooove you!” Jack sang into the phone. I assumed that the rest of the messages were from Jack, he was the only one who kept calling, even though my phone was off.

“WHERE ARE YOU?” Jack screamed into the phone. I pulled my phone away from my face, the volume of his voice was still making my ears ring painfully.

“I’m at my Grandparents’ house. I’m fine. I’ll be home in the morning.”

“You shouldn’t have left like that, Brae! It’s so fucking dangerous to travel by yourself!” I wasn’t expecting Jack to scold me like that. Usually, Jack would be the one claiming that I hated him because I failed to invite me on the road trip. The sudden big brother act was

“I know, but I needed to leave.”

“Next time you need to leave, take someone with you Brae! I thought Zack was going to have panic attack.”

“I don’t give a fuck what happens to Zack.” I growled, lying on my bed.

“That’s bullshit and we both know it, Brae.” Jack challenged.

“It’s not. I don’t give a shit about him anymore. I’m done. I don’t want anything to do with him.” I defended myself, my need to not need Zack.

“Stop saying shit like that, everyone knows that you two are going to get through this so stop being stubborn and just talk to each other.” Jack tried to persuade me.
“I have nothing to say to him.”

“Zack! Phone!” Jack screamed.

“Jack! No!” I protested in a vain attempt to avoid talking to Zack. “I don’t-"

“Hello?” Zack answered. I hated Jack for this, he had to know me so well. He knew that I wouldn’t be able to hang up on Zack. “Hello?" Zack asked again, I couldn’t bring myself to answer still. “Jack, you're such a dumbass. No one's even on the phone.” Zack seethed before the line went dead.

It was bad that just hearing Zack answer the phone made me want to drive home and apologize for everything I said earlier. I was so set on not needing Zack before Jack had to give him the phone.

Fucking Jack Barraket and his fucking bright ideas! I knew right at that moment that I was going to be driving home first thing in the morning.