Dark Eyed Dreamers

I woke up, in a good mood. By the time I got downstairs my mood wasn’t so good. I had stubbed my toe when I got out of bed and I tripped over a shoe and sent my self stumbling into the door which earned me a nice bruise on my arm.

Finally, I reached the bottom of the stairs, the scene that was unfolding in front of me rendered me immobile. I could only stare at my friends as they pushed their index fingers together and mumbled “Blood Brothers” in unison. I still wasn’t able to understand what Braelyn and Reagan were doing until I watched them dip their fingers in the wax of burning candles and then push their fingers together again and mumble “Blood Brothers” once again.

Reagan noticed me standing in the living room, completely dumbstruck. “Hey, Mikayla! Look!” I watched the twins press their wax covered fingers together once again, this time they screamed “Blood Brothers” and burst into hysterical laughter.

I loved them, but sometimes their inside jokes got on my nerves. I hated being left out. I was always left out when it came to Braelyn and Reagan. They always made me feel out of place. They would say one word to each other and that’s all it would take to send them into a fit of giggles. I hated the fact that no matter what they would always like each other better than they would ever like me. I hated it.

“Morning!” Brae said cheerily. I had to admit it was unlike Braelyn to be cheery in the morning, but I guess that was just another perk of her and Zack being back together.

“Morning.” I grumbled and plopped onto the couch beside Reagan. I said quietly, half awake, and watched The OC with them.

“Hey, Rae?”

“Yeah, Brae?”

“If you could have any color beard, what color would you have?”

“Any color?”

“Any color?”

“Purple!”

“Me too! Oh my God! Twinsies!” Braelyn screamed, more excited than I’ve seen in a month. She and Reagan glanced at each other laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world. It wasn’t even that funny. They were, after all, twins.

“What about you Mikayla?” Rae asked.

“I wouldn’t have a beard. I’m a girl.”

“If you had to have a beard...” Brea prompted.

“Clear.”

“Clear isn’t a color.” Brae pointed out.

“Oh well, it is now.”

“You’re a jerk when you wake up.” Braelyn pouted and went on to ask Reagan more ridiculous questions.

- - -

There was something about the neighborhood park gave me a mix of emotions. I hadn’t been there for the longest time and I missed it. I missed the painfully bright swings, slides, and jungle gyms. I missed the sand boxes, the wood chips, and mud that always got caked onto my sneakers when I was on the swings.

Though I missed it, I knew I would never miss it again anytime soon. I was going to spend too many afternoons in that park. Pushing my son in his stroller, watching him wobble around in the sand box, catching him at the bottom of the slide, teaching him how to swing, watching his first baseball game, teaching him to ride his bike. Sitting on the swings with Rian, holding his hand, was like looking at my future. This park was my future, and that scared me.

“When he’s old enough to walk, we’re going to get him some of those squeaky shoes.” Rian said nodding his head at small toddler whose shoes squeaked with each step she took.

I smiled, looking down at my flip flop as it got caught in the mud beneath the swings. It made me undeniably happy to know that Rian was going to be there for me and this baby. It made my future look a little less terrifying, knowing that he’d be there with me every step of the way. Every step of the way that he’d be home for anyway, but that was enough for me.

“Totally.” I laughed, agreeing that the shoes were a must. Silence settled between Rian and I but the sounds of children playing and their parents calling after them to be careful filled the air.

“I love you.” I blurted out.

Rian looked over at me and grinned. “I love you too.”