Swim or Drown?

LILYS POV

I unwrapped from Alex’s amazing hug. I have missed his smell and how his body is perfectly perfect when intwined with mine. I had tears streaking my face yet i had a smile. Alex actually meant what he said. That was a huge step for me and hopefully a huge step in the right direction for me and Alex. The truth was I did want him to be part of my life. And i was more then happy to find out he felt the same way. I giggled as I looked at Alex’s signature messy sex hair. My eyes traveled to his perfect face. His big brown dopey eyes. His semi big nose that fit just right with all his other features. His not to big not to small lips and the stubble that graced over his cheeks and chin. HIs calloused thumbs wiped over my tears and he gazed into my eyes.

The wind was knocked out of me and I gasped. I backed away from Alex and blinked. Confusion was written across his face. I was letting Alex be a part of my life again, what was I doing? I was asking for the hurt. But he the speech and.... I still love him. I just need time to think. Finally both of my sides agreed and I looked up to Alex.

“Are you okay?” Alex said taking a step forward.

“Ya.” I said sniffling the left over tears back, I smiled.

“Alex, I want you to be in my life again.” Alex’s face lit up and he smiled, like i have never seen him smile before.

“I need you to be part of my life. I don’t want it any other way Lily.” He said and held my hand.

“But-” I took my hand out of his and sighed. “I need some time to think, sometimes I can be un-logical, but when I know what I want, I will tell you, we do need sometime for just US, but for now i need to go.” I walked back into the resturant with Alex following behind.

Zack had his head pressed to the table and Jack and Carly were whispering.

“Something wrong?” I questioned, tapping on Zack’s shoulder. Alex slide into the booth near Jack and smiled at him. Zack looked up and he I couldn’t make out what his face was saying. The emotion that shown through his eyes was pure anger. I backed away.

“Nothing is wrong..” He said gritting his teeth.

“Okay, Well you guys, thanks for me and Zack but i have to go. Zack is gonna stay. I need to go run some errands.”

“Wait, Lily lemme come with you !” Carly interjected.

“OH OH !! Carrrrllyyy has an idea!!” Carly shouted.

“Yes Carly?” I said laughing.

“We can go on a girls day out, and the boys can do whatever they want! Its perfect!” Carly yelled and crossed her arms looking proud.

“Sounds good?” I questioned, knowing Zack would be the one with the problem.

“Yayyyyaa!!!” Jack said smiling.

“Sure thang.” Alex said high fiving Jack. I turned to Zack. No answer.

“Zack?” Calry piped in.

“Can, I talk to you ?” Zack said pointing to me.

“No, because we need to get this girls day out and boys day whatever on the road.” I lied. I just didn’t wanna have another ‘talk’ with Zack, considering the other one didn’t end up that well.

“Lily..” Zack started.

“Okay than bye Zack!” I leaned down and gave him a quick kiss and skipped out of the cafe. I waited outside for Carly. Shortly Carly came skipping out.

“Ready to go?” She asked.

“YES!!! please, I have so much to tell you” I sighed.

“Than what are we waiting for?” She grabbed my hand and we started to head north. We reached the mall in maryland and entered the air conditioned building.

“You want some ice cream?” Carly said pointing to the small Ice Cream shoppe to the left.

“Defiantly.” I always eat ice cream when i have something on the mind. We took a left and walked up to the clear shelfs holding all the ice cream.

“Hello, Welcome to Mary’s favorites, what can i get for you?” The young boy said to us.

“Um, can I have A chocolate sprinkle waffle bowl with 3 scoops of the flavors of the day, and a Dr. Pepper.” I said getting out my money while Carly ordered.

“Can I have a mocha coffee with whip cream and chocolate sauce.” Carly said placing Twenty dollars on the counter.

“But-” I began but was cut off.

“My treat.” Carly hushed. I sighed and picked up my ice cream and drink. I headed to the back of the small shop and sat down. No one was here, but I just felt more comfortable in the back. I plunged my spoon into the ice cream and watched Carly walk over carrying her drink.

“Thank you for the ice cream.” I said pointing down to the waffle bowl placed infront of me. I broke off some of the cone and crunched on it. That was my favorite part, the only reason why i got waffle bowls was this, the crunchy surgar mixed with ice cream was perfect.

“So whats on your mind hun?” Carly asked and perked up.

“Alot.” I said simply.

“Details.” I sighed and started.

“Well when me and Alex stepped out of the cafe he said some stuff.”

“Still lacking the details I need girlfriend.” Carly mentioned, taking a zip of her drink.

“Okay !! I need to rewind. And now I have a question for you, Did you know Alex was coming.”

“Yup.” She smiled.

“Okay, so after Zack pulled me aside and said you like Jack blah blah, he was being a douche, so I went to go to the bathroom and I bumped into him and he said we needed to talk and I told him I was dating Zack, and he looked so hurt so i just pushed past him. Then at the table when he asked us to go outside and talk and he poured his whole entire heart out and I believe him he said he loved me and needed me back into his life.” I shoved the last bite of my ice cream into my mouth and chugged down the Dr.Pepper. Carly spit out her drink onto the table and I laughed. I handed her a napkin and she smiled.

“He SAID WHATTT!!!? I think you should give him another chance Lily he is really trying to prove himself to you.” She said as she cleaned up the spit out drink.

“Okay so after he said i need you and etc we hugged and I was crying of happiness, because-” I leaned down and whispered to Carly. “I still love him.”

“I know you do, you have always loved Alex, Lily, no matter what you always love him. “ She said happily.

“Well, I told him i needed time to think but maybe we could have some time just me and him and then I walked to the mall with you and now your spitting stuff on me.” I finished with a giggle.

“You soooo have to give him another chance Lily!! But what about Zack.” Her face turned serious and I frowned.

“Thats the problem, Okay so when we first kissed I actually wanted to be with him, but so far in out 48 hours of dating he said i liked jack, has acted jealous, thinks i wanna loose my virginity, kept kissing me like a pig, but on the bright side, he took me too my favorite cafe the one were me and my whole family including chase went to, and he rented the whole place to us, and then he gave me the gorgeous necklace on out first date.” I pointed to the heart necklace placed in between my collarbones. She picked it up and smiled.

“Well it looks like hes a sweet, jealous boy, Hes cute why are you complaining about hte virginity kissy thinggyy?”

“I DONT WANT TO LOOSE IT WITH HIM, I want to with Alex....” I mumbled looking away.

“I know, but hes your boyfriend hes probably going to kiss you, and Zack has liked you for forever so that maybe why he is jealous, he finally got you! he doesn’t wanna loose you.” She said, actually making sense.

“Then, I’m going to give Zack and I some time to have a better realtionship and hopefully build one with Alex.” I finally had something straight I wanted Alex in my life. Decision final.