Speak of the Devil

“You’re hands are freezing.” Monte cried.
“I’m not usually cold, but I guess it’s just a breeze rolling in or something.” Monte took my hands in his and heated them up with his summery warm breath. I sneered as goose bumps rose up on my skin.
“They’re warmer now.” He declared as he discharged my one hand from his.
“Thank you very much, you’re so thoughtful.”
“You’re very welcome. Madam.” He divulged with a roar of laughter. Madam. That was the last thing I needed to hear.
“You didn’t just say that.” I hissed.
“I’m just kiddin, Carly, you know that.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know.” He was so honored that he had annoyed me. At least he wasn’t that damned waiter that would say that after every word.

We roamed back to my headquarters hand in hand. Monte gazed down at our interlocking hands and then up at me. Butterflies were flapping around inside me and tickling my guts. The immense amount of affection Monte was showing me by just holding my hand in his and speculating at me in the eyes made me blush harder and redder than I had ever in my entire life.

I was so overwhelmed with pleasure just by holding someone’s hand. We didn’t stop walking until we dismounted to my home.
Monte swung our arms up high in the air and skipped to my porch with a smile from ear to ear. I howled with laughter at his immature gestures. Once we reached my porch, he started walking again and his ear-to-ear smile died down to a small smirk. We clambered up the stairs and stood at my door.

“Well, here we are.” Monte sighed.
“Yup…” I stated as I rummaged through my purse for my keys and caught them with a jingle. Monte hesitantly sloped his neck down and reluctantly pushed his lips down on mine and plucked them off.

“Thanks for taking me out.” I lauded as I clenched a handful of his shadowy hair that fell down in between his neck and his shoulders and brushed his hair back behind his ear.

“You’re very welcome.” I reluctantly swathed my arms around his waist and firmly hugged him. He hugged me back and made my bones pop and crack.

“You give such tight hugs.” I coughed as he still held me.
“As I’ve been told.” He said as he let go.
“Well, good night. You want a ride home?”
“No, no. It’s alright. I should be home soon.”
“If you insist…Good night Monte!”
“Good night, honey” Honey?
“What?”
“I said ‘Good night, Carly.’”
“Oh, ok. Night again. I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Yeah, I’ll call you soon; I’m really busy with work actually this week and next week, so I might not see you in a while.”
“Aw, ok.”
“But I promise I’ll call!”
“Ok. See ya.”

“Bye.” Monte stepped down my porch steps. I watched him stuff his hands in his pockets and pace off into the dimness of the street lights.
I unlocked my door and allowed myself inside, and slammed the door shut. I did my usual. Threw my keys in the window sill, and danced around happily. That’s a new thing. I always enjoyed singing and was always told I sang well, but when I came through the door after a great date, I’d sound like dying animals.

I chose to ring up Ashlyn to tell her how my date went. I punched in her number and anticipated to hear her voice.
“Hello?” Why does Craig keep answering her phone?
“Hey, is Ashlyn there?”
“Who the hell is this?”
“Craig, do we really have to go through this again?”
“Oh, it’s you.”
“Who is it Craig?” I heard Ashlyn ask from the background.
“It’s my worst nightmare.”
“Who?”
“My worst nightmare, honey.” That word buzzed in my ear.
“Oh. Carly.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Craig, why do you keep picking up Ashlyn’s phone?”

“I don’t know, I just do. It’s really just a coincidence I think, I mean, I picked up her call last time you called and then I got a few calls from her other friends.” He rambled.
“Craig just give the phone to Ashlyn, please.”

“Yes Dark Master.”
“That’s Dark Mistress to you!”
“Hello?”
“Hey Ashy, guess what I just got home from? Promise you won’t tell?”
“Yeah, I promise, what was it?”
“I just got home from a date!”
“With?”
“You’ll never guess.”
“Who?!”
“I just got back from a date with Monte!”
“Really?”
“Did she go out with Monte yet?” Craig queried from the distance.
“No darling, just go wash up.”
“Wash up from what?”
“Nothing.”

“Ok, yeah, well I went on a date with him and it was so great Ashlyn, you wouldn’t believe it!”
“Where’d you go? Gimme all the dirty details.”

“Some fancy restaurant where I dropped my food on the table and the waiter kept calling me ‘Madam’ and then I threatened to report him to his manager and then he stopped being bitchy to me and then we walked home hand in hand and Monte paid for the meal and then we actually walked to the restaurant, he didn’t take his car, and then we walked back to my house and we just got back and he kissed me and called me ‘Honey’ and then I was like ‘What?’ and he was all ‘Good night Carly’ in this totally seducing voice and then we hugged and I watched him walk home and then he said he’d call me soon and now I’m home and I was singing and I got all dressed up and now I’m home!”
“Oh…well sounds like you had a good time. But he called you ‘Honey’?!”

“Yeah I know right!”
“Carly it’s your first date and he’s calling you that.”
“So?”
“He so wants you!”
“Wants me where?”
“In his pants!” Craig shouted in the phone.
“Craigy, hush.”
“Am I on speaker or something? I can totally hear my echo and I’m talking really loud aren’t I?”

“Um, yeah you are, and no you’re not on speaker, you’re just talking too loud.”
“Oh, ok.” I whimpered.
“If he calls you ‘Honey’ he totally wants you to be his chick! Look, I know this really good relationship therapist that I think you could talk to, she’s a friend of mine from high school.”
“Who?”

“This girl who I don’t think you’d remember, her name was Kierstyn Alden Green, she’s Max’s wife.”
“Oh! Four Eyed Kier, right? And who’s Max?”
“Um, yeah. She’s not called that any more. And Max is one of Craig’s friends.”
“Yeah, but she’s been called that all through high school.”
“Yeah, well I kept her address and phone number and kept in contact with her.”
“Well I’ll call her I guess.”

“Yeah, catch up with her and explain your story.”
“Well, what ‘story’ do I have to really tell her?”
“Just talk to her about the relationship you’re in.”
“I’m not in a relationship with him, I just went out on a date with him!” I snapped.
“Jeez, sounds like you’ve got pregnancy hormones or something.”
“Shut up! I’ll talk to Four Eyed Kier and see if she can help me with my ‘relationship’.”
“Alright, alright, since you seem to be a bit pissy right now you can find out her number herself!”

“And how do you think I’ll be able to do that?”
“Use your head, Carly; why not check the phone book?”
“Got it I’m-So-Much-Smarter-Than-Everyone-Else.”
“Please, Carly, I’m tired. I don’t need you calling me a know-it-all.”
“Typical Ashlyn, you always thought you were the smartest out of everyone! Sheesh! You gotta figure out that you’re not as special as you think you are!”
“What has gotten into you?!” Ashlyn hung up. I threw the phone back down on its charger and growled from the bottom of my throat.

“What’s gotten into me? She should’ve seen what’s gotten into her! Gosh!” I moped into my room and slammed the door.

I stood on my tippy toes in the bathroom removing the make up off my face and popped my contacts out of my eyes. I blinked as I slid my glasses on and wet my toothbrush under chilling sink water. I squeezed a comprehensive amount of toothpaste on the brush and brushed my teeth thoroughly and spat out the excess saliva and tooth paste. I rinsed off the bristles and sat it in the plastic cup on my sink. With my tee shirt and pajama shorts on, I yanked down the covers and tripped into bed and landed face first into my pillow. I sighed, tired from the exhaustive conversation with Ashlyn. I felt guilty for bitching to her, but on the other hand, she deserved a good wake up call. I placed my glasses folded up on my nightstand and enveloped myself with my cool, sleek, sheets and my puffy, blown up blanket. As soon as I shut my eyes, the air conditioning hummed on and filled my room with cold air blasting all around me. The sound of the hum made me slowly drift into a deep sleep.