I Fell Into Pieces And She Fell Into Me

“Oh, fuck you asshole!” Nita called out loudly, sending her long, black hair sprawling across her slender shoulders as she turned around and strutted away from my stock still body, fed up and completely over and done with my cynical antics.

Okay, so I wasn’t exactly being easy. Actually, my attitude was probably leaning more towards the entirely too difficult side of things, but I just couldn’t help it.

I was so sick and tired of listening to her rant and rave about her new boy and how amazing he was. I love Nita; she was one of my best friends, probably the only one I had that actually stuck by my side through everything; even when I was the one pushing people off cliffs so they couldn’t get any closer.

But I didn’t want to hear it anymore.

I had gotten out of a relationship about three months ago, and it was an absolutely nasty break up. He wasn’t easy to get over and he wasn’t easy to forget either. Yet, he forgot about me pretty fucking quick. The minute I walked out the door he went back to fucking his pretty, new play thing. I was surely tossed out the window with her loud moans; following behind them as I trekked my way home through the Bright California streets, a dreary cloud passing over my head as it poured on my parade.

He was my first boyfriend. And I had been screwed over royally. Don’t you just love how that shit works? You give yourself, your heart; you’re everything to this one person, hoping and praying that they feel the same, only for them to throw you out like last night’s dinner after they filled their greedy stomachs with a little too much alcohol.

I had given him everything I had; had put my own life to the side to dive into his, unseen and blind as I followed him around like a naive, newborn puppy. And it hadn’t gotten me anywhere.

Well, let’s rephrase that. It did get me somewhere; on the streets, with a bag of my belongings, frustrated thoughts consuming my head and no place to stay.

I hope you could understand how it was difficult for me to listen to her talk about her happiness when I was still trying to find mine again.

And of course, that couldn’t be the only thing I had to deal with. No; never that damn simple.
Not only did she want to talk to me about him, but she wanted me to meet him too! And his friends! I wasn’t up for meeting some guy that was probably only going to fuck her and leave her, especially when I’d be the one holding her close and letting her cry on my shoulder when the shit hit the fan. But even that, those two drastically annoying things, I could probably tolerate for the night; somewhat, if I tried my fucking hardest.
But it didn’t end there.

Now I knew who this guy she was seeing truly was and it only pushed the situation further off the edge. He was one of his friends. You remember that pig that broke my heart? Him. It was one of his friends! Jorel Decker. Nita was dating Jorel Decker, better known as Jay or J-Dog to friends and fans. And my ex was one of his best friends, meaning that tonight would be filled with his face and his voice and his God awful scent wavering through my nostrils.
She wanted to bitch about me being depressing and cynical now; just she wait until tonight. There was no knowing what I’d do when I saw him.

So many different feelings raged through my body; nerves twitching and emotions flaring as I desired to smack him a good one; wished to plummet his heart into the floor like he had mine. But there was a part of me that wanted to cry; that wanted to kiss and make up too.
Though, it was an absolutely silly and stupid thought because he’d never ‘make’ up with me. He didn’t want me.

And that was the most disgusting thing ever.

Shaking my head, I dived out of my delusional, consuming thoughts and looked around; taking in my surroundings as I followed after Nita’s used and angry foot stomped path. She always threw fits when she was upset, much like a little kid would. And most of the time it didn’t matter, it was one of the things that made Nita her.

But today, it bugged the shit outta me. Especially when I saw her ass plopped on a bench, arms crossed over her chest as she huffed lowly, her eyes narrowed in slits as they connected with my approaching figure.

She rose to her feet, gliding across the asphalt much like the graceful silhouette of a ghost as she came closer, her bottom right lip ring disappearing in her mouth as she suckled on it in annoyance. “Are you over your diva fit now?” She asked, her nostrils twitching as she stared down at me, her left eyebrow rising in time with the questioning tone of her voice.

“Nope,” I answered simply, rolling my eyes as an appalled look crossed her face. What, did she honestly think I would grovel at her feet and beg to go to this party tonight because I was sorry? Pssh, fuck that shit. She could eat shit with those faggots.

Damn, I’m moody today. Maybe it’s the time of the month soon.

“Guin, come on! I just want you to meet him! He’s really nice and he means a lot to me.” She sighed heavily, pushing her bangs out of her face as she tucked them behind her pierced ears. “Please, Guin? I don’t understand why you can’t just come and meet him. You’re not being fair.”

“I’ve met him before!” Tossing a glare her way I crossed the street quickly, making my way towards the car as I heard her yell my name, her loud footsteps following as a car horn blared in protest to her impulsive and irregular actions. “And don’t start on me about being fair! I’m so sick of you playing that card, Tanita. I will call your mother!”

“And what? Tell her I’m being rational and you’re not? Yeah, I’m scared, real scared.” She caught up quickly, following behind the directions my head was plotting out as my feet followed the course like a finely trained lab rat. “Autumn, I know he hurt you, but you have to get over it. It’s over and done with and I really want you to at least be on good enough terms to be in the same room. I really like Jay and I want all of us to be able to hang out together. And we can’t do that when you can’t even deal with thinking about seeing him.”

“Nita, you don’t understand, it’s not that easy. I’m not over him; not yet. And I can’t hide it.” Sighing heavily I popped open the car, turning it on as I slipped into the driver’s seat, the roar of the engine sending calming signals through my body. I didn’t understand why, or how, but there was something about how the engine hummed and thumped through my limbs. It felt like it was in my bloodstream; coasting through like a rich, decadent chocolate, or a tasteful home cooked meal. It brought a sense of clarity; of home, to things. It softened my attitude just a tad. “Listen, I’ll go tonight, alright? But only because I love you all that much. But don’t expect anymore then my presence being there though. Now, get in the car,” motioning to the car that was waiting for my spot I patted the passenger seat, a slight grin sliding upon my lips as she hopped in and buckled up. “Now, where the hell is it?”

“His place,” she answered instantly, her delicate fingers playing with the knob on the radio as she changed the channel from a heavy metal selection to a hit station. “Ohh, nice!” She twisted the dial, ‘Halo’ rising through the back speakers as Beyonce’s soulful voice echoed through the small, midsized vehicle. “We’re meeting there and having food and drinks and stuff!” She yelled over the loud music, rocking her head back and forth as she mouthed the words, her lips twitching with the movement.

“What the hell is ‘and stuff’?” I pulled into the left turn lane, watching as a truck tried to make a right into the lane beside mine. “Hold tight, Nita,” pulling the gearshift forward two clicks I checked my mirrors and reversed, watching as the massive truck’s front tires closed in on the front of my car. “Dammit, fucking asshole get in your lane! I’m giving you plenty of room here!” I pressed on the brake suddenly, a loud honk penetrating my ears as someone pulled up behind me, blocking my path. “I swear to fucking God, if I get hit I’m suing the truck driver and I’m suing that bitch behind me!”

“Guin, Jesus Christ!” Nita yelled, clutching the arm rest and digging her finger nails into the dark grey cloth interior as she stared, wide eyed, out the front windshield. “I love you! And Jay! Just remember that if I die!”

“Oh yeah, you just had to throw that in didn’t you?” Pressing my hand down into them middle of the steering wheel, I blared the horn at the trucker, waving my other hand around rapidly, desperately trying to gain his attention. “I swear to fucking God, this guy’s an idiot.”

I had the utmost respect for big ridge drivers, my father having being one I knew just how hard it was to maneuver one of those suckers around these crowded, practically shrink wrapped streets. But this was ridiculous. He was making a wide turn and he had plenty of room, but he went into the turn way too fast and turned too hard so now he was in my lane a good ten feet and counting. And my car was about to take the butt of it if he didn’t straighten out or that stupid lady behind me didn’t move her ass outta the way. And lucky me, I was blocked on every side so I had absolutely nowhere to go, and that was really pissing me off.

Scaring me a little too.

“Autumn, I swear to God if I di—“ Nita tried to say, only to get cut off as the truck passed by the right side of my car, the large rubber circle scrapping against my driver’s side door as the car rocked from the vast amount of push pressure. “JESUS CHRIST!”

“Yeah, thanks dude.” I tapped the roof of my car, shifting gears and speeding up to the light, quickly making the turn as it flickered green, my light brown eyes scanning my driver side mirror for any damage to the side of my car. All I could see was a large scuff mark, and that might, hopefully, just wash right off with a little water and friction. If it didn’t, I’d get a paint job. A grand or so in the bank would take care of that. And this plain silver was getting a little boring anyway.

I think a bright blue or pink would look good.

Pssh! Yeah! Good like a motherfucker; like a damn fairy. All you need to complete the look is to slap on a pair of painted wings on the hood of the trunk and maybe a set of scented balls to hang on the rearview mirror.

“Where are we going?” Nita pipped up, flicking the volume dial on the radio to the left as she stared over at me, turning in her seat slightly to get a better view.

“Jay lives on South Grand right?” I questioned, stopping at a stop sign as I tapped my fingers around the steering wheel, a slow yawn escaping from in between my plump lips.

“How’d you know that?” She blanched after she said the words, her head shaking as she ran her fingers through her hair and pointed the right apartment out to me. “Nevermind, I don’t think I want to know.”

“I told you I knew them.” I answered her question anyway; parking on the side of the street as I got out, clicking the lock up button and watching as Nita’s door slammed shut, her petite body practically running up to the front door as her finger jabbed at the bell anxiously.

Jesus, someone was excited; maybe about to piss themselves a little too.

Following her inside the front door and up two flights of stairs we stopped at a tan door, her hand forming a fist as she banged against the middle of the wood, the loud sound echoing out across the silent hallway. About a minute later there was a name called from the other side of the door as it jerked open, a chubby cheeked, blonde guy standing in the doorway with a blank look on his face. He was in his mid twenties, around 5’11 and in good enough shape, though there was a slight beer belly forming already. Guess he was a big drinking.

Well, let’s rephrase that, I knew he was.

Jordan, better known as Charlie to friends and fans, was probably one of the biggest drinkers of the group of men, though all of them could hold their own well enough. He was a smart guy, but he looked like a fucking dweeb half the time. There was always a lifeless look on his face when he was drunk, one that made me think of Dumber from Dumb and Dumber when you caught a glimpse in the right light.

“Whoa! Who invited the ladies!? Wanna get up on my skeet already girls?” Charlie smirked, wiggling his eyebrows in a perverted, very vile and annoying way as he leaned against the doorframe, staring down at us like he was the coolest kid on the block, his light eyes peeking over the top of his black framed, square sunglasses.

Yeah right.

“Get me a Sprite and maybe you won’t get a foot up your ass.” Motioning to the fridge I pushed my way inside, grinning at his confused face as he closed the door behind Nita, a low grumble leaving his lips. “What was that, Charles?”

“Oh nothing mother, just talking about how beautiful you are today.” He replied nonchalantly, tossing me a bottle of Sprite as he made his way into the open living room, his fingers looping through the excess of his dark jeans as he pulled them up over his ass. Though that’s where they belonged, it made no sense because when he sat down they only rode right back to below his baggy fanny, and all the more so when he continued to squirm and wiggle against the cushions until he found a comfortable enough position. Someone had a buncha fucking ants in their pants. Or asscrack, either way. “You know, with the whole stick shoved up your ass and all.”

“Keep talking like that and you’ll have a matching one bubba,” I twisted the cap open, taking a long sip as I walked into the living room, laying eyes on three other members of Hollywood Undead.

Matt sat on the recliner, his tattooed leg stretched out in front of his body as he looked around the room, a peculiar look upon his supple face. His curly hair was an absolutely mess, piled high on top of his head, the sides sticking out in an almost static like fuzz. He was probably the strangest of the group, but he was a nice guy, nicer then a lot of them at times. But, most of the time that was due to the fact that he was trying to hook up; trying to get his little dick into some pussy.

There was a real reason his nickname was Pussy Snake, no matter what anyone told you or how stupid it sounded at times.

Just say it out loud; slowly. And add a Draco Malfoy hiss to the end of it. Try it. You won’t be disappointed.

Jay was on the couch, his chubby cheeks pulled across his face as he laid his heavy, dark brown eyes on Nita’s own matching ones, his arms out stretching as she dived into them. A quiet giggle escaped her lips as she removed his Hollywood Undead baseball cap and ran her fingers over his buzz shaved head, her eyes gazing into his lovingly.

“Hey babe,” Jay grinned widely, laying a soft kiss on her cheek as he wrapped his long, tattooed arm around her waist, resting his colorful, spread out palm against her right jean clad ass cheek.

“Hey,” she smiled brightly, spreading her legs across the couch as she laid her head against his shoulder, looking into his eyes. “Wanna share that beer with me, babe?”

“Not really, nope.” He chuckled deeply, pressing the neck of the bottle to her lips and tilting it slightly, watching as she gulped down the cheap, alcoholic beverage. “Yeah, that’s enough. Rest is mine.” He swiped it away, a soft tisking sound leaving his lips as he took a long, heavy chug from the bottle.

“You need to learn how to share,” Nita said simply, grabbing the bottle from out of his hands and placing it between her inner thighs, squeezing it tight as she hide it with the top of her hand.

“Real good hiding job, babe,” shaking his head, he grinned, his pink tongue darting out across his even pinker lips as he wiggled his eyebrows in question. “You think I ain’t gonna go in there and get that? I go in there for everything else, why wouldn’t I for that, too?”

Nita went to reply with something smart and cocky, only to get cut off as Dillon’s loud, deep voice slammed through the room, a gruff, agitated tone to the low level baritone.

“What’s she doing here?” He glared over at me, his body still and silent from the other side of the room. If he hadn’t said anything I might have forgotten he was even there, but now I surely wouldn’t.

“I was invited, Dilly Pooh.” Smiling angelically, I tipped my Sprite bottle to him, cocking my head to the side as I took a sip, my eyes glued to his dark, completely peeved ones the entire time.

He stared me down; his deep brown eyes narrowed in anger as he clenched his beer bottle tightly, the pressure staining his knuckles bright white. His eyelids were twitching in annoyance, his tan lips pulled upward in a hard, disgusted frown.

Those same lips that I used to kiss; the ones that traveled the length of my body, just like my very own devoured every inch of his scrumptious, perfectly handmade one. I remembered every inch of his body; ever colorful centimeter. From his sculpted chest, the round mounds of his ass, to the hefty feel of his sensitive scrotum as it slapped against my ass each time he plunged his long, thick length deep into my love canal. His lean body would hover over mine as he held himself up with his large, spread out palms, small beads of sweat dropping from the crease of his forehead onto my own as we arched and bucked together, bodies intertwined for that perfect moment of orgasmic bliss. I remembered just how he felt as he emptied his sack full of potent fis ----

“Take a picture bitch, it’ll last longer.” Dillon spat, rising to his large feet as he ducked out of the room and into the hallway, making his way to his room, the loud sound of a door slamming shut echoing out a few seconds later.

Great. Fucking fantastic. This is fucking ridiculous, how could this possibly get any worse? I was sitting here, having bad, bad thoughts about my ex and wishing we could do things like we used to. But I knew in my heart it wasn’t right, no matter how badly my body wanted it.
And he’d never go for it anyway. Dammit, why does this shit always happen? Why was it so hard to just hate him? I tried everything, I had every reason to never want to see him again, but for some reason, I wanted him now more then I had before.

Could someone tell me how that made any sense? Your loved one cheats on you and you want them more after they leave you high and dry, you’re heart fucking super glued to the floor then when you did when you were together happily? It didn’t’ make sense to me. But I guess life never really did. That’s why it was life. If everything made sense it’d be easy.

Life wasn’t easy.