The Crimson Lotus

“Kai-kun?” The drummer peeked at him, ducking his head past Aoi’s form so that he could be seen, and there was an unnaturally bright smile on his face. “Could you come down to Maddie-chan for a minute?” The drummer nodded eagerly, and Ruki rose, holding Maddie bridal style momentarily before tentatively setting her down on her feet.

Despite the previous emotions, Maddie giggled a little as she realized that Ruki was indeed an inch taller than her, and then she shiftily eased into Kai’s arms as he hugged her warmly, his warm cheek pressed against hers, the knuckles of his bony hands pressing lightly onto her back. She closed her eyes, leaning her head on his shoulder, and he laughed softly, pleased to have begun the process of becoming quite close friends with Maddie, despite the time she had left.

There was conversation on the stage, and the lights dimmed again, but with her eyes closed, Maddie didn’t notice. Kai simply released a short breath of a laugh and let her shift her arms around his neck as she figured out that a warm hug like this was what she needed, too. He peered up at the stage, raising an eyebrow at Ruki, but the singer merely gave a dismissive wave of his hand, picking up the mike from the stand and hoisting himself up onto a stool. He swept his gaze across the stage, only catching sight of Aoi, and though he was confused, he closed his eyes and moved his arms to Maddie’s waist, holding her as gently as possible, as she seemed to have lost most of her energy during the private performance.

“He really does adore you, Maddie-chan,” he said softly, and she gave a quiet ‘Mmmmm’ in reply. “He knows what you can’t ask from him, and he knows what he won’t ask of you, but…” He sighed, and then he was quiet as Ruki sang for a bit, drifting through the chorus. “You’ve changed him.”

“I have not,” she muttered into his shoulder, and she could feel the breath of his soft laugh on her skin.

He chuckled, smiling affectionately at her, whether she could see him or not. “You have. He is different from the man that left Tokyo for Chicago last month. We have you to thank for that.” She mumbled something in reply, but he thought it best not to regard it as much. “Arigato, Maddie-chan,” he said quietly, and he turned his head to kiss her temple, lifting his hand to brush away the ‘hair’ in the way.

She looked up at Ruki past Kai’s shoulder, and she could see the emotion in his eyes. She blinked a few tears away, and then she smiled as his gaze lifted from the stage floor to meet hers. She saw his mouth twitch in an affectionate smile, and then she saw it disappear as he shut his eyes and wrapped both of his hands around the microphone stand. “I love him, Kai-san,” she said quietly, and the drummer chuckled softly.

“I can tell, Maddie-chan,” he said with a chuckle, and he stroked the wig on her head like it was real hair, his touch light and gentle. “You do not fight it as he does.”

She blinked, curious enough to lift her head from his shoulder to look at him, glancing past him to Ruki and then meeting Kai’s bright eyes once more. “He fights it?” she questioned, and it seemed as though it was a bad thing. “He can’t…”

“He’s only defending himself, Maddie-chan,” he said gently, and the gleam in his eye had a fatherly shine to it as he spoke to her. “Imagine how he must feel, knowing he’ll soon have to give you up.”

“You’re quite intuitive, Kai-san,” she said quietly, and she felt another bout of guilt. She was the cancer-ridden teen that was ruining her hero’s emotions. “You see everything, and you make such quiet note of it.” His smile spread, and she shivered. Ruki was singing about shedding tears, and the quietness of his voice was almost haunting. The quiet murmur of the syllables passing his lips absolutely killed her, and she had to resign herself to laying her forehead on Kai’s shoulder once more. “The five of you…you’re so happy together…and you’re letting a dying teenager mess with it all.”

Kai sighed, turning his head so that it nudged against hers supportively. “Taka-kun is not so hard to read,” he murmured, and he glanced up at the singer as the dance he was leading Maddie in allowed him to. The vocalist gave another half-smile, and Kai could see what he was feeling in his eyes. “Knowing him for six years allows me to read him like a book.” He laughed tiredly. “He’s thrilled that he got to do this for you, Maddie-chan. We’re all happy to be here.” She huffed, and another light chuckle passed his lips. “The only thing that hurts us is your hurt.”

“I suppose,” she murmured, and then it was quiet except for Ruki’s voice and the two men accompanying him on their guitars. She felt so tired, using all of the energy she had in order to properly enjoy her eighteenth birthday. She’d enjoyed the makeover Uruha had taken her to, she’d enjoyed the shopping trip Aoi had talked her into, and she’d enjoyed the few moments she’d had with Ruki before he’d had to leave to set up her surprise, but it all had drained her, and it was to an unnatural degree. No day had ever tired her like this.

She sank into Kai’s arms, her eyes having been closed long enough for her to relax, and even as she lingered between being awake and falling asleep, Ruki’s voice was the most prominent thing in her thoughts. She could hear the way his tone wavered as Nakigahara reached its end, and she could hear his words drop into whispers in the last few lines- the lines they’d whispered to each other on a night that seemed like forever ago to her.

And then the club was quiet, and she was in a different set of arms- the gentle touch was more familiar, and the soft kiss on the back of her neck sent a chill through her spine. She knew it was Ruki, even in her tired state. She knew he’d picked her up and was carrying her, even though his height was nearly the same as hers. She knew it was nearly effortless- she weighed so little, and the muscles in the arms that held her were so strong.

She melted into the leather seats of the back of the limo, and she barely noticed as Ruki’s lap appeared under her head, his warm thigh the perfect pillow. The wig had shifted by now, and he gently pulled it off, his fingertips drifting over her bare scalp, his hot tear dripping onto her skin. She knew, though, that she couldn’t stay awake long enough to turn her head and smile up at him- the drainage had taken over so suddenly, and even though she was lying down, her head was still swimming from it.

Ruki bent down, quietly humming the melody of Guren, and kissed the side of her head. “Suki dayo,” he murmured, and she smiled a little, sighing quietly. He was almost positive that she hadn’t heard the words. She only seemed to hear his voice when she was this tired. He decided that it was fine, and he knew that it would be much more convincing when she was awake and had energy to enjoy time with the band again.

Silently, he let her sleep with her head on his lap, and he let his hand run along her arm. His head rested against the window, and his gaze focused on the distance, though his thoughts were too jumbled to allow him to really see anything as it went by. He was really barely fazed when the limo came to a stop, and he smiled kindly at the driver as the door was opened and he shifted Maddie into his arms as gently as he could without waking her up.

She stirred a little in his arms as he carried her, and he greeted her mother with a smile as she let him in. She opened Maddie’s bedroom door for him, and he gave her another smile before carrying Maddie in and then gently disengaging himself from her arms, laying her down as softly as he could and brushing at her cheek as she stirred again and realized that she wasn’t resting against him anymore.

She opened her eyes hazily to peek up at him, smiling as he touched her cheek. He seemed so much closer to her now that he’d performed for her as he had, and she wasn’t really surprised. “Thanks, Ruki-san,” she mumbled, and he chuckled softly. “Was really something.” Her eyes drooped a little, and he brushed his palm over her forehead as she shifted in the bed. Tiredly, she caught his hand, and she tugged lightly, her soft eyes asking him innocently to stay.

He smiled, sitting on the bed near her feet, and this wasn’t enough for her. She tugged at his hand again, and she shifted just enough for him to lay down beside her, as he had the first night she’d been home from the hospital. He let her shift so that her head was on his chest, and content, she let go of his hand to drape her arm over him, his warmth making her close her eyes again.

“You’re comfy,” she murmured, and if she hadn’t been so tired, she would have spent the next few minutes thinking about how lucky she was. Girls all over the world would have paid to be able to tug Ruki down beside them and lay on him the way she was, but she could do it without him thinking anything of it, and she knew that she was lucky, even though she rarely bothered him with a thanks for his nonchalant manner now. It was obvious to her now that he didn’t mind at all.

He slid an arm around her, running his hand along her back and glancing at the alarm clock. “There are still ten minutes left in your birthday, Maddie-chan,” he said quietly, kissing her head, and she smiled tiredly. “Is there anything else you would want to ask for?” She had to admit, the warm invitation in his deep voice was tempting, but she had already gotten so many things from him- and she hadn’t asked for most of it. “Guilt-free,” another kiss to her head, “worry-free,” gentle smile as she tilted her head to look up at him, “have-anything wish.”

Without thinking, her eyes closed, and she was leaning up to meet him, touching his lips with hers in the gentlest kiss she could manage. He responded gently, pressing his lips forward onto hers, and smiled softly against the feather-light touch of her kiss as his hand touched her face, and he was quiet as she drew back and then opted for a second try. He was being beyond patient with her, accepting the second kiss and lightly returning it, his thumb gently stroking her cheek and his hand on her back holding her close. It hadn’t been long since he’d taken the same kind of initiative, and she was allowed this day to have whatever she wanted. He wanted to give it all to her.

“You should sleep, Maddie-chan,” he whispered, and he pressed a kiss to her forehead before she laid her head back down on his chest, his heartbeat echoing in her head, his gentle pulse setting the pace for her breaths. “I won’t leave you.” He could feel the tip of her smallest finger touch bare skin on his side, and he could feel her settling into him as she realized that he was so warm beneath his clothes. She sighed, relaxing, and he dipped his head so that his forehead touched her skin. “I care far too much for you to do that.” Another sigh, and he felt tired, too. His eyes closed, and he let her press closer. “Tanjobi omedeto.”

And for once, they both slept in peace.