The Crimson Lotus
juyon
“Have you ever thought of asking her to call you Takanori?”
“Hmm?”
“To her, you’re Ruki. But Taka…don’t you want her to call you by your real name?”
Ruki shook his head, looking up at his friend. “No. I haven’t. She’s known me as Ruki for years, and I came to her as Ruki. Having her call me Takanori just… wouldn’t be the same.” He sighed, and he looked over at Maddie, who was still asleep, but whether or not the sleep was peaceful was in question. “And all of this is about her comfort,” he said, and he looked back up at Aoi, and he gave a tired smile. “Not mine.”
“You look like you need a break, Taka-kun.” He gave a small smile, resting his hand on the singer’s shoulder, and glanced at Maddie before looking back at his old friend. “Go get some rest, have some coffee, whatever. I promise I’ll come and get you if anything happens.” He smiled again, and he patted Ruki’s back as he got up, and he ignored the tired glare he received as the singer turned his attention to Maddie, kissing her forehead before leaving the room. Aoi took his place in the seat beside her bed, and he picked up her hand, closing his own warmly around it, and sighed.
His gaze rested on the sleeping girl, and he smiled a little to himself as her hand squeezed his, recognizing his presence. She shifted slightly, releasing a quiet grunt of discomfort, and he ran his thumb over the back of her hand, as he’d seen Ruki do so many times before. She seemed to smile slightly, and then she shifted more, and then she settled back into whatever dream she’d been having. He watched her as her brow furrowed slightly, and he gave her hand a gentle squeeze as the discomforted grunt was made again.
Somehow, she knew that he wasn’t Ruki. His hand felt different; it was rougher than Ruki’s, his knuckles were harder, and he held it differently, almost as though he didn’t possess the same kind of sensitivity as Ruki. But the fact that there was someone beside her, someone holding onto her hand, was enough to keep her somewhat grounded, enough to keep her from slipping off into a much deeper sort of sleep.
She shifted again, and winced as one of her leukemia’s new targets sent a flash of pain through her. Her hand tightened around Aoi’s, and if she’d been awake, she would have been able to feel him flinch in surprise, and she would have been able to feel his hand squeeze hers in return- as gently as possible, letting her know that he was there.
She drew her brows together, groaning again, shifting again, and her eyes opened only slightly, her gaze hazily resting on him, and her mouth twitched upward into a bleary smile.
“Before you ask,” he said, and he smiled as she laughed softly in response, “I made him leave. And he’s probably getting coffee, and he’ll be back in here in a minute.” He winked, and he let go of her hand to brush his fingertips over her forehead, smiling a little as she shivered a little and turned her head into his hand. “You feel okay? You were sleeping for a while.”
She nodded, and she smiled as his hand lifted from her cheek and found her hand once more. “Was he worried?”
He shrugged. “Yeah, he was worried, but he always worries. And you know, Maddie.” His gaze dropped for a moment, focusing on his hand enclosed around hers, and his voice dropped as well, more gentle than Maddie had become used to. He looked back up at her, and he smiled. “I just think he’ll be happy to see that you’re awake.”
“What about me?”
The voice was accompanied by a yawn, and Aoi chuckled. “Only that you worry far too much. Among other things.” He smiled, and he chuckled once more as Ruki crossed the room, punching him in the arm. The blow was light, and Ruki was chuckling as he took a long drink from the mug of coffee in his hand, smiling ever so slightly.
“Like what?”
“Like the fact that you’re a jerk that lets his worry keep him awake for hours.”
“Ruki, you haven’t-“
The singer shook his head. “No, of course not. I’ve slept, I promise.” He smiled at her, and then his gaze rested on Aoi, and the darker-haired man chuckled, rising from the chair beside Maddie’s bed, kissing her forehead with a smile before leaving the room. Ruki easily settled back into the chair Aoi had just vacated, and his hand folded familiarly around Maddie’s, earning him a smile, and he couldn’t help but smile back. “Did you sleep well?”
She shrugged, shifting upward, eventually settling into an upright position, sitting back against her headboard. He shifted easily onto the bed beside her, sitting near her feet, and set his coffee aside.
“No nightmares or anything, yes?”
“No nightmares,” she said, and her voice was quiet. “I’m sorry I worried you, Ruki-san. I never thought I’d sleep that long.” She squeezed his hand gently, and when her gaze met his, she still looked tired, and it was something that hurt him to see. “I was just so tired...”
He nodded. “I know.” His thumb swept over the back of her hand, and he bit his lip as he felt a few tears, late as always, forming in the corners of his eyes. He smiled nonetheless, and he gave her hand a squeeze, biting his lip for another long moment as silence passed between them. And then he sighed, and he tried a smile, earning a smile in return, despite her ever-present worry. “And, Maddie?”
“Yeah?”
“You don’t have to worry, okay? I’m here.”
She smiled, and for a second, the light from her smile almost found her eyes.
“I know.”
“Hmm?”
“To her, you’re Ruki. But Taka…don’t you want her to call you by your real name?”
Ruki shook his head, looking up at his friend. “No. I haven’t. She’s known me as Ruki for years, and I came to her as Ruki. Having her call me Takanori just… wouldn’t be the same.” He sighed, and he looked over at Maddie, who was still asleep, but whether or not the sleep was peaceful was in question. “And all of this is about her comfort,” he said, and he looked back up at Aoi, and he gave a tired smile. “Not mine.”
“You look like you need a break, Taka-kun.” He gave a small smile, resting his hand on the singer’s shoulder, and glanced at Maddie before looking back at his old friend. “Go get some rest, have some coffee, whatever. I promise I’ll come and get you if anything happens.” He smiled again, and he patted Ruki’s back as he got up, and he ignored the tired glare he received as the singer turned his attention to Maddie, kissing her forehead before leaving the room. Aoi took his place in the seat beside her bed, and he picked up her hand, closing his own warmly around it, and sighed.
His gaze rested on the sleeping girl, and he smiled a little to himself as her hand squeezed his, recognizing his presence. She shifted slightly, releasing a quiet grunt of discomfort, and he ran his thumb over the back of her hand, as he’d seen Ruki do so many times before. She seemed to smile slightly, and then she shifted more, and then she settled back into whatever dream she’d been having. He watched her as her brow furrowed slightly, and he gave her hand a gentle squeeze as the discomforted grunt was made again.
Somehow, she knew that he wasn’t Ruki. His hand felt different; it was rougher than Ruki’s, his knuckles were harder, and he held it differently, almost as though he didn’t possess the same kind of sensitivity as Ruki. But the fact that there was someone beside her, someone holding onto her hand, was enough to keep her somewhat grounded, enough to keep her from slipping off into a much deeper sort of sleep.
She shifted again, and winced as one of her leukemia’s new targets sent a flash of pain through her. Her hand tightened around Aoi’s, and if she’d been awake, she would have been able to feel him flinch in surprise, and she would have been able to feel his hand squeeze hers in return- as gently as possible, letting her know that he was there.
She drew her brows together, groaning again, shifting again, and her eyes opened only slightly, her gaze hazily resting on him, and her mouth twitched upward into a bleary smile.
“Before you ask,” he said, and he smiled as she laughed softly in response, “I made him leave. And he’s probably getting coffee, and he’ll be back in here in a minute.” He winked, and he let go of her hand to brush his fingertips over her forehead, smiling a little as she shivered a little and turned her head into his hand. “You feel okay? You were sleeping for a while.”
She nodded, and she smiled as his hand lifted from her cheek and found her hand once more. “Was he worried?”
He shrugged. “Yeah, he was worried, but he always worries. And you know, Maddie.” His gaze dropped for a moment, focusing on his hand enclosed around hers, and his voice dropped as well, more gentle than Maddie had become used to. He looked back up at her, and he smiled. “I just think he’ll be happy to see that you’re awake.”
“What about me?”
The voice was accompanied by a yawn, and Aoi chuckled. “Only that you worry far too much. Among other things.” He smiled, and he chuckled once more as Ruki crossed the room, punching him in the arm. The blow was light, and Ruki was chuckling as he took a long drink from the mug of coffee in his hand, smiling ever so slightly.
“Like what?”
“Like the fact that you’re a jerk that lets his worry keep him awake for hours.”
“Ruki, you haven’t-“
The singer shook his head. “No, of course not. I’ve slept, I promise.” He smiled at her, and then his gaze rested on Aoi, and the darker-haired man chuckled, rising from the chair beside Maddie’s bed, kissing her forehead with a smile before leaving the room. Ruki easily settled back into the chair Aoi had just vacated, and his hand folded familiarly around Maddie’s, earning him a smile, and he couldn’t help but smile back. “Did you sleep well?”
She shrugged, shifting upward, eventually settling into an upright position, sitting back against her headboard. He shifted easily onto the bed beside her, sitting near her feet, and set his coffee aside.
“No nightmares or anything, yes?”
“No nightmares,” she said, and her voice was quiet. “I’m sorry I worried you, Ruki-san. I never thought I’d sleep that long.” She squeezed his hand gently, and when her gaze met his, she still looked tired, and it was something that hurt him to see. “I was just so tired...”
He nodded. “I know.” His thumb swept over the back of her hand, and he bit his lip as he felt a few tears, late as always, forming in the corners of his eyes. He smiled nonetheless, and he gave her hand a squeeze, biting his lip for another long moment as silence passed between them. And then he sighed, and he tried a smile, earning a smile in return, despite her ever-present worry. “And, Maddie?”
“Yeah?”
“You don’t have to worry, okay? I’m here.”
She smiled, and for a second, the light from her smile almost found her eyes.
“I know.”