The Crimson Lotus

Neither of them noticed when Maddie's mother came back into the room. She waited silently in the doorway, leaning against the wall, watching them as they interacted. Maddie was so vibrant, and she seemed to have so much energy, and it killed her mother to see how happy she was in a conversation with someone she barely knew.

It made her wonder if they would ever be able to interact like that, before the disease sank in and Maddie became a soundless vegetable on her hospital bed. That was inevitable, the doctors had said. In two months, Maddie would have almost zero brain function, and in three, she would be gone.

She shook her head, shaking these thoughts away, and then walked to the bedside, touching her hand to Maddie's leg, since she didn't know Ruki enough to place her hand on his shoulder and tell him it was time to go, though it was.

He looked up at her, and then he looked back at Maddie, giving her a warm smile before he rose from the chair, bending down and touching her cheek as he gently kissed her forehead.

"I will return tomorrow, Maddie-chan," he promised, and she smiled as he pulled back, picking up his sunglasses and sliding them on over his eyes. "Sleep well, ne?" He watched her for a few more moments, and then he turned to her mother, touching her arm. "Could you and I just-"

She nodded. "Of course." She followed him as he walked to the doorway, and she stopped in front of him as he pulled a pen and a scrap of paper from his pocket. "Where are you staying, Ruki?"

He finished writing the number, which only took a few seconds, and then extended the paper toward her, a warm smile set into his features. "In a hotel down the street." She took the paper from him, and then glanced down at it before letting it drop into her purse. "If something comes up, I'd like for you to call me. If she can't sleep well tonight, if you can't help her with something...anything. I can be here very quickly."

"Alright. Thank you, Ruki." She was quiet for a moment. "I haven't seen her eyes that bright in a long time. I owe you enough just for today."

He shook his head. "Iie. You owe me nothing. She's meant to be happy, ne?" She nodded. "I thought so. I only do what I can, Mrs. Keller. Thank you for allowing me to stay so long."

She smiled. "Of course. Good night to you, Ruki." He gave a small bow, and then he left, the sound of his expensive shoes on the tile floor slowly fading away. And she watched him as he left, then went to Maddie's bedside, sitting in the chair he'd just vacated, smiling at her daughter, her eyes visibly shining with tears.

"He's not just a rock star, Mom," she said. Her mother nodded, and she sighed, glancing first at the tube that had been in her arm for a while now and then turning her head toward the window, letting her mother take her hand. "He's just..."

"You don't have to justify your wishes to me," her mother said. "It doesn't matter what I think. This time is about you and trying to beat what's pulling you down." They both sighed, and there was quiet for a few minutes. The sound of cars on the ground filled the silence, and Maddie thought about the taxi that was taking Ruki to his hotel, the clerk that got to check him in, the bellhop that got to help him with his luggage, the room and the bed that would be graced with his presence. She was jealous of that hotel.

Those few hours hadn't been enough.

After the quiet had been there for a while, she simply drew her knees to her chest, resting her arms on them, and then cried. The hot tears dripped from her eyes, and they fell onto her plain white hospital gown, staining the fabric with moisture for a few seconds before fading away.

Her mother could only watch, worried senseless, and rest a hand on her daughter's arm, appearing calm but tearing herself up on the inside.

She had no idea that the rock star that had just left the hospital was doing the same thing in his hotel room.

His luggage was propped up against one wall, the window was open, and he sat on the edge of the bed, his hands covering his face as the tears fell from his eyes as well. Something about the girl and the pain she was experiencing horrified him, and he couldn't make the feeling go away. Of course he had no one to hide it from, but for some reason, he felt ashamed that he was crying.

He'd known the girl for four hours. That wasn't enough to cry over her. He hadn't even seen the worst of things yet. He hadn't seen her lying still at night, her eyes barely moving beneath their lids, her chest barely rising, her lungs barely drawing any oxygen, her arms remaining limp at her sides. He hadn't seen her luminous face truly fade, nor had he seen her weight drop because of the cancer.

But yet he still shed tears over her, and he'd only seen the emotional pain. He'd seen the way she looked at her mother, almost as if she felt guilty for having a disease that was killing her, and she'd told him about the history of her cancer, because he'd asked. He'd wanted to know more. He'd wanted as much as he could have so that he might be able to help her in the future.

And as he sobbed, he was already thinking of ways to save her, to prolong her life, and to protect her from this harm. It was in his nature. It couldn't be helped. He didn't want the girl to feel guilty. He didn't want her to ever be in pain. He didn't want her to have to opt out of anything because of a lack of money. He didn't want to see the doctors give her hope and know that they were wrong.

"Iie," he said to himself, his voice a strained whisper. "Iie, iie, iie."

He glanced out the window, and it seemed he could see her, her mother at her bedside, and he hoped she was okay.

And finally, Maddie, wiped her eyes, lifting her head and turning her head to look at her mother. "I'm sorry, Mom," she said, and she gave a small, dried-up smile. "Mom, I love you." She hugged her mother as tightly as she could, and she kissed her cheek. "Thank you for letting Ruki stay past visiting hours."

Her mother pulled back. "I love you too, Maddie. And...don't worry about it. The nurses were more than happy to put off your checkup for an hour or two."

Maddie tried a smile. “They’re going to be coming for me soon, aren’t they?” Her voice barely made the words a question. “With their needles and their IV bags and…” She let the sentence drift off, and she watched her mother shift in the chair, and she raised an eyebrow ever so slightly.

“They’re going to discharge you next week.” She bit her lip, and for a moment, there was hope in Maddie’s eyes. It absolutely killed her to see it. “They said that they can’t do anything more to a disease that won’t die. They said that…” Her voice broke, and she did her best to control it. “They said that…They said your body can’t handle any more radiation…they said that they can do no more.” And immediately, the hope had vanished from Maddie’s eyes.

Quickly, her mother withdrew the paper with Ruki’s number from her purse, leaving it on the bed, and then selfishly rushed from the room.

Trying to blink the tears away, Maddie made her shaking hand pick up the phone and the paper, and she dialed the number, holding the phone close to her ear, failing to hold her tears back, helpless as they fell from her face.

“Hai?”

“Ruki.” She sounded almost relieved to hear his voice. “Ruki, I-….” She did her best to keep her voice from breaking. “Ruki, I’m…I won’t be sleeping well tonight.” The words were a broken whisper, and for a few moments, he was quiet, except for a few shaking breaths she heard him draw in. “Can you…can you help me sleep?” I don’t want the needles. I don’t want the IV bags. I don’t want the nurses…I want… “I’m so scared.”

“Maddie-chan,” he whispered, and his voice sounded strained. “I…how would you like me to help?”

She bit her lip, sniffling a little. “Could you…could you sing for me?”

“Of course, Maddie-chan,” he said softly. “What would you like to hear?” He paused for a moment, as if he already knew the answer, and there was a small smile on his lips as he laid back on his bed, shutting his eyes. “Gomen ne,” he whispered. “Ato sukoshi…Anata no namae to nemurasete.”

Guren.