The Crimson Lotus

"Did you ever wonder why, Ruki?" she asked, long after he was finished singing for her, minutes after their last conversation had ended. She sniffed and wiped at a tear. "Did you ever wonder why Guren is my favorite song?" His silence on the other end of the line, no matter how patient it was, gave her the answer. "It made me feel."

"And what did it make you feel, Maddie-chan?" he asked softly, his voice rough from lack of energy.

She sighed, shifting in her bed and glancing down at the IV in her arm. "It made me feel what other people do...like I didn't have a needle in my arm or a disease eating at my body. I could just...feel. And be human, and be normal, and be lost." She sighed. "I can put that song on repeat for hours and never get tired of it."

"...doesn't it ever make you sad, Maddie-chan?" he questioned. "Doesn't it ever make you cry?"

She nodded, and it didn't matter much that he couldn't see it. "Yeah. It makes me cry. But I don't have to feel scared. It makes me not so scared of...of...the end." The word had to be forced from her mouth, almost hitching in her throat as another sob, but she had calmed now. The sound of his soft whisper singing the words just for her still played in her head, and she was as fine as she could be. "Your music keeps me going, Ruki, did you know that? It makes me deal with the needles...because then I get to hear the music afterward."

"You think so highly of me, Maddie-chan," he sighed. "You have such love for a rock star that has always been so far away."

She shook her head, smiling a little. "No, Ruki. You've always been in my CD player. Your whole band has. And..." she sighed. "Thanks."

What for? "You're welcome, Maddie-chan." He ran a hand over his hair, glancing at the time on his phone. "Would you mind if I were to say goodbye for the night, Maddie-chan? I am still on Japan time, and I am a bit tired."

She smiled. "No, of course. Goodnight, Ruki, and...thank you for singing to me. I should be able to sleep okay now." She laughed softly, eyeing the CD player that was near her bed, considering turning it on just in case. "See you tomorrow?"

He smiled. "Hai. Tomorrow. Goodnight, Maddie-chan." After a few more moments, his end of the line went dead, and she sighed, setting the phone aside, leaning back in the bed and closing her eyes, bringing her hands up to her face and releasing a long sigh.

He laid back as well, his back resting on the soft comforter, his head finding the pillow at the head of the bed, his eyes closing and a light sigh escaping his lips. This is what a hotel should feel like. He turned onto his side, staring at the clock, and then reached up, switching the light off and closing his eyes once more. This is what not being home should be.

He drew in a slow breath, and then the dreams came.

And while the night passed, nothing extraordinary happened. There was no 'Oh, Maddie, well, you're getting better after all, so we can start the treatments again', and there was no phone call to a very tired Japanese rock star to ask him to sing again because sleep escaped a dying young girl. There was no attempt to brighten Maddie's hopes, and there were no lies.

Maddie was checked, as she always was, and then left alone, both by her mother and by the nurses. She slept, with Guren playing softly in the background, and the sleep was not as disturbed as it had been on other nights. Her eyes barely opened, and in sleep, she appeared normal, despite her lack of hair and her skinny frame.

And while the night passed, nothing terrible happened, either.

So when the sun rose and drifted upward in the sky, Maddie could smile when she opened her eyes.

Ruki would call. Ruki would be there. Ruki would keep her safe.