Been Here the Whole Time

Was I packed for a few months, or a few years? Maybe I was packed for much longer than needed, but it meant I was well prepared-and taking up too much space on the bus. But it was a small price to pay; Gee and his girlfriend were really hitting rock bottom, and so I needed to look nice if I was going to be around him all that much more!

The only downfall to this tour was that it was being brought along with Gerard. Even if they were fighting a bit, he still insisted she come along. I had no clue why, and I had no clue who would even let him, but there wasn’t anything I could do about it. The only thing I could do was try to distract him-wait. What? Now I was on a mission to actually tear him and his….toy apart? Who was I and where did I put Lindsey Ann Ballato?

Take a deep breath, Lyn-z. It’ll all be okay. Right, because fighting with myself over a guy and the way I was trying to get his attention would end up alright. Knowing me, it would end me in the hospital with a bruised arm, as well as a broken ego (and not the other way around).

“Linz, you okay?” I heard. In actuality, I really wasn’t okay. I could probably be considered psychotic and maybe even mentally obsessed, but the only one that needed to know that was myself. I could handle myself and all of my crazy plans, thoughts, and feelings-for now, I could. So when I turned around to find Steve sitting in his bunk alone, I just sighed and nodded.

“Trying to decide whether bringing a second bag full of shit was a good idea.” I knew all along it wasn’t, but that didn’t matter to the part of my mind that seemed to be wrapped around the idea that I was going to get what I wanted out of this tour. The only thing that mattered to the apparently stronger side of my head was that Gerard and it were definitely not going to last the whole tour, and I was the closest woman to him as far as I knew (besides Mikey and Gerard’s mother, of course). “Fuck this,” I said, pulling my second case out to the front area of the bus and shoving it behind the couch.

Hey, at least if I forgot it there, someone that used the bus next would have a whole wardrobe full of Lindsey Ballato originals!

When I turned around, Steve had moved out of his bunk to stand in the center of the room with a smirk on his face. “Too funny, you woman. The whole female gender fucking cracks me up!” He shook his head with his laughter before turning and heading off the bus. Sometimes, I seriously thought I was the only sane one around here, but again it was obvious that I was far from it.

Turning around again, I followed behind Steve off the bus to find something that would either keep my mind from Gerard or from the extra crap I'd brought along with me for no reason. I looked around at the venue and found Mike Shinoda doing something towards the main stage, while someone I didn't quite recognize was off picking some grass. It sounded a bit odd, but I guess I really couldn't expect anything less at this hour. Everyone was too tired to do anything else.

Before I knew it, I was walking head first into someone. I was knocked off my feet by a woman of my size and stature, with the same hair color and length, as well as the same style of tattoo sleeves as me. Wow; had I found my long lost twin?

"Wow, Al. Nice going!" That sounded a lot like....Frank? And Al, as in...,"Alicia?!" I asked, standing up as quick as I could. That would explain the raven hair, the tattoos, and the womanly figure standing at the end of some bus I'd happen to be walking by. In return to the question, I received a smile from the girl I almost envied for marrying Mikey (although I wouldn't be jealous of her because she married Mikey, but more because she was married to a Way).

“Sorry about that, Linds! Wasn’t exactly watching what was going on around me,” she said, pulling me almost forcefully into a hug. I was passed from Alicia to Frank, and then settled back into my own space across from them. “What are you doing out here so early?” she asked, turning from whatever it was that had occupied her attention enough for me to ram right into her. I shrugged and looked around, trying to figure out what exactly I was doing out here in the first place.

“Good question. Guess I just got bored on the bus where Steve proceeded to mock me in my infinite wisdom. I have no clue why now, but I over packed and I had to find another place for whatever I couldn’t fit in my bunk.” At that, Frank started laughing. Alicia rolled her eyes and crossed her arms at him, her hip bouncing out in the fashion I knew all to well. He was laughing at her expense, much like Steve had been just moments ago.

“Lemme guess,” I said, looking with a small smirk at Alicia. “You were out here doing the same thing?” Alicia sighed and nodded, still glaring at Frank. I giggled a bit, but didn’t get the same reaction from Al that Frank did, thank God. “Behind the couch,” I said, taking a step around her and making my way down the path and around the venue. Finally, I found the catering and realized what the fuck I was doing up so early.

Coffee.

I hurried across the space to the coffee machine and picked up a cup, ignoring the shape of a person next to me. It could have been George Clooney and I wouldn't have given a rats ass; this was coffee we we're talking about!

Anyway, instead of acknowledging anyone beside me, I hurried to fill my cup with the deliciousness that moved me every morning, only to be lightly laughed at from behind. Turning around a bit while also reaching for the sugar and cream, I realized that it was Gerard who was the person I'd been ignoring. A small smile was playing on his lips as he looked at me, and I would have knocked the sugar over if I didn't turn around and blush to myself.

"Morning, Lindsey!" he said, moving to stand right next to me and fill up his cup. "Looks like we both had the same idea. Coffee first thing in the morning equals easier days, no?" he asked, moving over a bit to do as I had been doing when I realized who was standing with me. I nodded and smiled at him, hoping my hair didn't look like a fucking lion mane.

"Definitely. I can hardly think without it until like.....noon!" He almost stopped then, like he realized something that he liked but couldn't believe. I could see it in his eyes, and I felt absolutely amazing to have known I'd said something to make him realize such things.

"S-same. Almost exactly, at that," he said, his smile only growing as we continued to talk.