We've Learned to Run from Anything Uncomfortable

Tuesday June 7th

“Sam?” I heard Marilyn’s voice call softly as she leaned against my bedroom door, “Are you awake?”

I kept my eyes shut, rolling towards the door, “Yeah.”

“Someone called to talk to you.” She said, setting the phone on my hip and leaving the bedroom.

I picked up the phone and stared at it for a few minutes, confused as to who could have called me at Marilyn’s. No one had the number for her house. I groaned lightly and pressed the receiver to my ear, mumbling out some type of greeting.

“Sammeh Doll.” I heard Oli’s voice smile.

I shot up quickly in bed, a grin taking over my face, “Oli!”

He chuckled, “How are yeh?”

“I guess I’m doing alright. I need some human contact though, mind coming over and hanging out with me?”

“Oi, yeh wanna ‘ang out with meh? I feel so privileged.” He said sarcastically.

“Shut up.” I grinned, “Do you know where I am?”

“Yeah, Maggie gave meh the address and yer number. I would ‘ave just shown up, but I thought that might’ve been a little creepeh.”

“It might have.” I agreed, “Well, I’ll see you in a little bit, okay?”

“Alright. I should be over shortly.”

I hung up the phone and pulled myself out of bed, staggering downstairs to meet Marsha and Marilyn, eating what looked to be like lunch.

“Geez, what time is it?” I mumbled.

Marsha looked up, “Its about two dear. We thought you’d need some rest, so we just let you sleep.”

“Oh.” I smiled “Well, that’s really nice of you guys. Um, is it alright if a friend of mine comes over? I haven’t seen him in like a week.”

Marilyn stood up quickly, “Oh of course Sam. As long as you introduce us.”

“Oh, I will.” I smiled, “But, I need to take a shower.. Where is that exactly?”

Marilyn laughed as she pressed a hand against my back, “Come on, I’ll show you.”

She guided me upstairs to a door that was on the left and showed me the shower. She opened the closet and showed me where the towels were, telling me that I need to make sure and hang them up once I’m done, and to not use all the hot water, because their water heater was slightly damaged.

“Thanks.” I smiled as she left the room and closed the door.

I quickly stripped myself of my clothing and stepped in the shower, cranking the knob and letting the warm water fall over my body. It’s been forever since I’ve had a decent shower. The showers at the hospital were horrible, always cold. And you had to have someone ‘supervise’ you. Like I was going to drown myself in the twelve drops of water I get to bathe myself in.

I looked down at my stomach, seeing the two scars that decorated my stomach. They had scabbed already and were now starting to wilt away, becoming two red lines, soon to be two white lines. I closed my eyes and grabbed the face wash that was rested on the corner of the tub, washing off my face and then I grabbed the soap, washing my body. I made a half circle in the shower, seeing that Marilyn and Marsha had bought me shaving cream, a brand new razor, shampoo and everything.

I washed my body quickly, running the razor over my calves and my armpits and stepping out of the shower. I pulled a towel over my body, seeing various types of make up on the counter, a blow dryer, and an unopened flat iron.

A smile came to my face as I thought about how one person could make another person so happy. Marilyn and Marsha could barely contain themselves when they found out I was coming to live with them. I wasn’t anything special, just a girl in the hospital and yet I brought so much joy to their lives, just because they finally had something to call their own.

It made me think of Oli and how he made me so happy, how he made me think that I was worth more than I thought. Hearing his accent drift through the phone speaker and into my ear sent a surge of happiness through my body, and I just loved it.

I loved the way he wanted to know what was bugging me when no one else gave a shit. And I loved the way that he’d pass me a cigarette if he knew he could get me to talk. He just made me ridiculously happy.

I darted quickly into my room, closing the door behind me and walking over to the closet to find something to wear. I decided on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that had a lion on it, which wasn’t mine, but Marilyn’s sister’s.

I walked back into the bathroom, hanging up my towel and placing the bath mat on the side of the bathtub. I brushed my hair out and parted it, letting it rest against my shoulders. I lined my eyes with the eyeliner resting on the counter and dabbed on some mascara before I turned on the blow dryer and shook it around, making sure I had dried every piece of hair on my head.

No sooner had I turned off the blow dryer, I heard Oli’s loud knock at the front door. A small squeal erupted from my mouth as I flew into my bedroom, pulling on a pair of socks and darting down the stairs.

Marsha was about to open the door when I bumped into her from behind, causing her to stumble against the door and laugh.

“Well, someone is excited.” She smiled, turning around.

I just nodded and threw the door open, coming face to face with Oli, who was dressed in a white t-shirt and a red and black flannel on top, a pair of black jeans suffocating his legs. I grinned widely, giving him a huge hug, catching his scent of stale cigarettes and cologne, masked over with the spearmint gum he was chewing.

“Oi, hi Sammeh.” He laughed, wrapping his arms around my waist, breathing in my ear.

I pulled away from him and pulled him inside, closing the door behind me, beaming widely as I showed him off to Marsha and Marilyn, “This is Oli. Oli, this is Marsha, and that’s Marilyn, my parents.”

“Oi, ‘ello.” He grinned, extending a hand out to Marilyn and then Marsha.

“Well, why don’t you kids go on up and hang out for a little while. Maybe Oli can stay for dinner tonight?” Marilyn asked, casting glances at both of us.

“That’d be brill.” Oli smiled, following me upstairs.

Once we’d made it upstairs and closed the door, Oli breathed loudly saying, “Yer foster parent’s are gay?”

I turned around facing him, “Not my foster parents. My real parents. They adopted me! And yes, they’re gay.”

“Tha’s ace Sam.” He smiled, “I jus’ never thought of Maggie ‘aving a gay daughter.”

“Mhm, me either.”

I took a seat on my bed and patted the spot next to me where Oli sat down, closer than necessary, but I wasn’t about to complain. I liked having him sit close to me, it gave me a sense of protection.

“Are yeh comin’ back teh school?” He asked.

“No. I don’t want to deal with everyone. I’m just going to finish up my credits online.”

“Oi, that’s probably a good thing.”

“Why?”

“Jus’ cause.” He smirked.

I looked down at him as he laid down on my bed, his hands behind his head, “Tell me why.”

“Sam.” He said seriously, “I ‘ave some questions fer yeh.”

“Okay..” I sighed, this whole I ‘ave a question thing was getting old. It made me all nervous. I wish he’d just spit it out once in awhile.

“What were yeh like, when yeh first started high school? Like freshman year?”

Memories flashed back through my head of me showing up to school, completely baked. Hammered sometimes, and dressed in the same clothes I had worn the night before, torn and rumpled, running up to meet Carrie and LeeAnn, telling them I had a pipe and enough to last us four bowls if they wanted to go into the parking lot at lunch.

And then the car crash happened, sobering me up, throwing me in the hospital.

That’s when everyone found out I was living in a foster home.

I walked through the hallway with my head down, my hands barely strong enough to clutch my binder under my arm. Tears were brought to my eyes as I walked right past Carrie and LeeAnn.

For once I was dressed in decent clothing. A pair of jeans that fit, and a long red t-shirt. My hair was pulled back into a pony tail, revealing the bruises on my neck and face, courtesy of the air bag in the car.

“I can’t believe she never told you guys.”

“She stole a car and hit someone?”

“She’ll kill herself soon. No one wants her around.”

“That bitch got what she deserved. She slept with my boyfriend.”

I literally dragged myself over to my locker, wrenching it open and stuffing my face in it, trying to suppress the tears as whispers found their way around my entire body. They invaded my ears, screaming at me, and they wrapped around my neck, causing my breathing to slow. Suddenly a tap came at my shoulder and I turned to face some guy at my school, Brian I think.

“Hey, are you alright?” He asked.

I nodded slightly, not being able to talk.

“Why don’t you come out to my car and we can talk for a little while? You look like you could use a friend.”

Being stupid and naïve, I thought he was being sincere, so I nodded solemnly and followed him. Once we made it to the car, I had a hard time keeping him off of me, his hands gripping my small frame harshly as another hand worked at getting my pants unbuttoned. I managed to pull open the handle to his door, and I fell out, hitting the ground roughly as a group of people walked by. Brian was quicker than I, covering for himself.

“I told you I didn’t want to sleep with you!” He shrieked, “Get out of my fucking car!”

A harsh shove sent one of my legs flying and hitting the side of his car.

I shook off the looks of disgust from everyone and pulled the rest of my body out of his car, grabbing my binder and running away from everyone’s snickers, tears falling down my face.

It was officially evident, everyone hated my guts.

“Um, everyone hated me. I fucked up a lot.” I mumbled, “Why?”

“Cause. I jus’ ‘eard some things about’ yeh at school and I wanna to ask yeh before I go accusing yeh of shit.”

I sighed lightly, “What kind of things Oli? It’s hard for me to say it out loud. Just ask me and I’ll tell you if it’s true, alright?”

“Yer not gonna lie teh me?”

He sat up again and I looked up at him, “No. I’m not going to lie to you. I’m trying this new thing called trust. And I’m trying it on you, so It’d be nice if you could help me out with it.”

He grinned, “Okay.”

“Well, go ahead. Ask away.” I mumbled.

“Some birds was tellin' meh that yeh used teh be into drugs, hard drugs, and drinkin' and all that. I didn' believe 'em cause yeh jus' don' seem like teh type. 'N they say yeh used to sleep around." He said quickly, looking ashamed he’d even said it.

I put my head in my hands, sighing again. The one person that doesn't hate my guts and they have to go and try to ruin it for me? Telling him everything about me?

"Well." I mumbled, "I was into hard drugs. I was hooked on heroin for a year or so.. But I finally got off of it after.." After the car crash. "And I stopped drinking, cause.." Cause I killed someone in a car wreck. "But I didn't sleep around. I slept with one girl's boyfriend once, and after that, I just always ended up in the wrong places at the wrong times. I never used to take care of my hair or anything either, so I always had the whole just been fucked appearance." I laughed slightly.

"What made yeh quit yer drinkin' and drugs?"

I rolled over and buried my face in my pillow, mumbling, "I told you a few days ago."

I felt him lean over, his body resting on mine lightly and his hand placed on my stomach, almost burning a hole through my shirt, as he whispered lightly, "Tha' wasn' a joke, was it Sam?"

I shook my head, my face still buried in my pillow as tears began dripping down my face.

Oli wrapped both his arms around my waist, resting his head against my back as he pulled me closer, "Why'd yeh tell meh it was?"

"Cause I was scared. I didn't want you to leave me."

"Leave yeh?"

"I'd been waiting days for you to come see me, Oli." I said, my voice wavering, "And the look on your face almost proved to me you'd just found out I was crazy. I got scared. And when I'm scared, I lie."

“Yeh don’ ‘ave teh be scared aroun' meh Sammeh. I don' think yer crazy. Yeh just kinda came outta nowhere wiff it, an' I didn' know what teh say."

"You asked me why she beat me and I answered your question Oli. It didn't come out of nowhere."

I felt him shift a little bit, pressing me closer and closer to his body before his mouth rested on my cheek as he talked, sending shivers down my back, "Alrigh' well, it was just a bit of a surprise."

I rolled over in Oli's arms so I was on my back and he was laying half-way beside me, half-way on me, looking as uncomfortable as he could possibly be, "Well." I sighed, "Surprise."

"I'm sorry Sam." He mumbled.

"Sorry? For what?"

"Askin' yeh all that. I shouldn' 'ave. It's none of my business."

"Oli. Don't be sorry. If I were you, and I was hearing those things, I'd want to know the real answer too."

"'Ow are yeh able to jus' sit 'ere and talk abou' it like this?"

"Well, I'm not a heartless bitch." I smiled, "It just happened so long ago. There isn't really anything I can do about it now. I mean, don't get me wrong, I feel horrible about it. I always will. But, I can't just go on living my life like it's some big disaster. I fucked up, and I tried fixing it, but there isn't much I can do."

"Well, at least yeh came to terms wiff it. I woulda killed mehself."

"I thought about that." I admitted, "But I knew that it would just be the easy way out, and that's fucked up. Besides, I wouldn't have met you. And, I wouldn't be able to see my 18th birthday, which is coming up in about three days."

"Oi, three days and I won' 'ave teh be distributing tobacco to a minor." He grinned, looking down at me.

"Yeah, that's true." I grinned.

I watched as Oli's eyes locked onto my lips, closing slightly as he lowered his head. He stopped only centimeters away from my lips muttering, "Sam. I really like yeh."

"Like like?" I grinned, "Or love like?"

"Oi, yer such a smart ass." He chuckled before letting his lips meet mine.

His hands gripped my hips, pressing his thumbs against the top of my pants as his lips traveled from my lips, to my cheek, to my neck and back up to my lips again.

I clenched a handful of his soft, brown hair in one of my hands as I pressed my tongue against his bottom lip, running it over his lip rings.

He nibbled at my bottom lip, opening his mouth and letting me in. He shifted himself so that he was laying directly on top of me, our legs intertwined as one of his hands reached up my shirt.

My hands went cold and goose bumps rose on my stomach as one of his freezing hands rested on top of my bra, his kisses becoming hungrier and his tongue becoming more adventurous. I lost my breath, breaking away from him and grinning before meeting his mouth once more.

A loud knock sent both of us into cardiac arrest, Oli jumping off of me and falling off the other side of the bed, leaving me lying on the bed with my shirt lifted up, exposing my scars and my breath at anything but a normal rate.

The door was pushed open softly and Marilyn's red locks fell through the crack in the door, "Does anyone have any special requests for dinner?"

I smiled as her face peeked through the door, a surprised expression taking over her face as she saw Oli pulling himself off the floor, rubbing the back of his head.

"'M vegetarian." He mumbled.

Marilyn nodded, closing the door and I looked over at him, laughing slightly, “Did you seriously have to fall off the bed? You made it so obvious.”

“Well, at leas’ I wasn’t pantin’ like a dog.” He smirked.
“You’re an asshole.”

“’M sorreh.” He grinned, “Yeh got a band-aid?”

“For what?”

“I think I scraped my knee fallin’ fer yeh.”

A loud laugh escaped from my mouth and I lifted a hand up to cover it as Oli reclaimed his spot on the bed, a playful smirk cast across his lips as he leaned over and kissed my cheek, taking my other hand in his and intertwining our fingers.

I looked up at him, smiling softly, mockingly kissing his cheek and resting my head on his shoulder, a smile dancing on my face.