Somewhere We Went Wrong

I was throwing my high school year book into the trash can when Danielle, Kevin’s Danielle, called me.

I hadn’t been in such a great mood today, but seeing her name flash across my phone made me smile for the first time in a while. She was one of the people I still had contact with and for that, I was so grateful.

“Hello?”

“Kylie?”

“This is the magnificent one.” I smiled, sitting down on my sofa as she laughed.

“I was calling to see what you were going to wear to Miranda’s premiere tonight. I’m stuck between dresses they sent over.”

Premiere? What the hell is she talking about? “Huh?”

“Her movie? Kyle, don’t tell me you forgot.” She sounded like she couldn’t believe I’d forget something like that, but truth be told it was still not coming to me. When did Miranda ever say something about her movie? It was something Disney with Princesses, but I didn’t remember a premiere date.

“This tonight?” I asked, still oblivious.

“ Yes. You cannotskip out; it’s her first movie.”

“Okay, okay. I’m uh, I’ll wear gold.”

“Kyle, you promise you’ll be there?”

“I promise. If anybody, you wouldn’t be the one I would lie to.” I said sincerely. Danielle was so easygoing. I felt bad for not spilling to her the secret past of me and the Jonas’. I always had the desire to just let her know everything; no secrets, nothing hidden. I mean, she was like a sister to me and she was family to them. It wasn’t okay for her to be there for me with problems she had no idea about.

It was quiet before her voice came back, and I could tell the difference in it. “Kyle I, I know no one talks about it, but I know there’s something wrong. And I know it’s been wrong but I don’t know what to say or how to ask about it. Everyone’s been so…isolated and just…unhappy. Joe, Nick, even Kevin.”

I sighed, knowing this conversation would be coming up soon. But whenever I thought about it, I never knew where to start. “Dani, I don’t think I should—”

“Don’t. Kylie I know you’re hurting; more than you’re letting on. I just want to help you.”

I began to cry, feeling myself brake. “I don’t even know anymore. Dani, I’m not myself and I don’t know what to do.”

“Honey, I’m coming over.” She said almost urgently. Although she couldn’t see me, I nodded and ended the call.

It was maybe eight minutes before Danielle walked through my front door and wrapped her arms around me as we sat on the sofa. I let the words pour out of my mouth like a death wish, just wanting to let someone know my pain.

“All this time later even when I cry and tell him I’m sorry and I love him he doesn’t even care. I don’t even feel like myself; I’m like a fucking shell. I hate my life and I hate that I hate it. I just wish I could throw all this bullshit away becomes its all eating away at me. I’m on my way to being nothing.”

“Ky, you know that’s not true.” She tried to reason with me but I wasn’t having it.

“So what’s the point, huh? Whyshould I keep acting like someone I’m not? Like I’m happy when I’m miserable? I shouldn’t have to be a mess and lie about it; it makes it a hundred times harder when you’re hiding behind a smile.”

“Because people are counting on you. Because it’s going to get better. Because Nick lovesyou.”

“You don’t get it.” I shook my head, wiping my face. “Even if he does, he doesn’t forgive me. And that’s what keeps us apart.”

“And youdon’t get it. If he loves you he will forgive you. Give it time; he can’t stay away.”

Her words sparked the idea of me sleeping with Nick. So many nights he gave in and brought me home. Nothing was said, but actions were initiated. We put our passion into sex, as bad as that was. But it was the only way I could have him. I felt like a cheap whore.
I faintly heard Danielle talking about Miranda and figured: fuck it. She might as well know everything. I let her talk a bit more, staring at my hands while she spoke.

“You know, we’re sleeping together,” I mumbled, still staring at my hands. Immediately, her words stopped and I could feel her staring at me.

“What did you just say?”

“Me and Nick. We’re sleeping together. Or were. Have been.” I thought about it and laughed lifelessly. “It’s like he can screw me and stillact like I don’t exist. He’s so fake.”

“Kyle, this is serious. He’s-you guys-this could really hurt Miranda.”

Would it be wrong to say I didn’t give a damn?

“You guys, Oh my God. I- I don’t even know what to say to-to make this. Oh my God.”

I smiled weakly, shrugging. “You wanted to know it all. There it is.”

“Way more than I bargained for.”

At that I laughed.

&&

Dani left and although I wasn’t happy, I didn’t know how I felt. My movie night by myself I had planned was now cancelled by Miranda’s premiere. It’s ironic that she’s the only one still talking to me when she should be the last one I ever want to speak to again. Joe and Miley were always only good friends to me and here Miranda is being a co-conspirator to my misery; but she was also the only one I had. And I was also stabbing her in the back while she didn’t know it. And she was doing the same to me, also not knowing that either. She was so fucking clueless.

I looked at the clock and saw it was 3:15. According to the text from Janet, I was supposed to be at El Capitan Theatre at 6:30. Thankfully, she sent my glam team to my house. They were expected to be here soon.

As I passed the television on my way up to my room, I caught sight of a segment of E!News on Nick and Miranda. A picture of them sneaking off from the ‘We Are The World’ recording in Nick’s truck. They were getting opinions of everyone and I swore the words ‘cute’ and ‘adorable’ came every few seconds. I was about to throw the closest thing to me, a Swifter mop, at the damn T.V when I realized the last words I said to Nick.

“If you’re going public, fine; I won’t keep myself locked away neither.”

The doorbell rang and, smirking, I went to answer it. The crew came in and went straight up the stairs with the dress racks, makeup bags, and hair product.

Stella, my style head hancho, stayed behind, turning to me. “So, do you know what you’re going for tonight?”

I smirked again. “Definitely sexy. Short; no black.”

I could tell she was happy about the no black thing; it’s been my colour for months. With a nod and smile, she raced up the stairs.

Before I could follow my phone rang, making remember I left it on the kitchen counter. I raced in, seeing moreon Miranda. Rolling my eyes and muting the damn thing, I answered the call.

“Yup?”

“Kyle?”

“Will-ee-Umm?” I asked, excited.

“Yeah buddy.”

“Where have you been? You know I have no friends besides you and Cody.” It was sad that I was actually being honest.

“Haha. Unlike you, I can’t sing so I have to make a life like a normal person.”

“Don’t you know you can just mooch off of me forever?”

“No, then I’d have to deal with you; too much baggage.” He joked.

“Oh, right. No worries.” I laughed. “So, what brings your line to mine?”

“Nothing much; just missed you. And it’s a boring Friday night so I figured we could hang out.”

“Well, Honey, I wasplanning on a night with Will Ferrell and cookie dough, but I have a premiere to attend to. It would be amazeballs if you came along.”

“What movie?”

“Miranda’s. Due to too much smoking I can’t remember the name”

“What happened to Just Say No?”

“I changed it to Just Say—Fuck it.” He began to laugh and I did a bit too. “L O L, right? So, you in?”

“Always down for Kylie B. What am I s’posed to wear?”

“I got you; just come over ASAP.” With an agreement, we said our goodbyes. I smiled a little; I wouldn’t be resorted to being the loner I am tonight.

&&

“If I do say so myself, I think we look drop dead sexy.” I said to Will as we approached the carpet. I’d gotten Stella to have suits delivered right after I got off the phone with Will. My dress was gold and Silver so we got his outfit to coincide with mine. It would definitely spark rumors but who cares; I felt super.

“Who’s your date, Kylie?”-

“Are you to together?”-

“Gonna compete against Nick and Miranda for cutest couple?”-

Will didn’t want to be in a lot of pictures so we took a few together before he stepped back to chat with people he knew from other parties we attended together or concerts.

Standing in front of the flashing cameras, I felt extremely confident. I smiled, winked, and waved at the photographers. When I did interviews I was quirky and fun, showing no signs of my inner turmoil that’s been ruining my from the inside.

As I got further down, I caught up with the Jonas Brothers and Miranda. I didn’t try to look at them, instead I focused on delivering. When I thought it was time, I grabbed Will and we started on our way to the theatre. I knew I had to say something to Miranda, if no one else.

Nick was the first to look our way. He began to turn back but did a double take. Even from the short distance, I could see the way his eyes travelled me. It was exactly what I wanted. He lost focus for a moment and I acted as if I didn’t even recognize any of the boy’s. Danielle saw me and immediately removed herself from their pose and hugged me. I hugged back.

“God, I didn’t think you’d look so hot.”

I just smirked and she examined me. Then Will. Then Nick. “Kylie.—“

“I didn’t do anything wrong. Yet. I’ll see you inside, Dani.” I ended the conversation because I could hear Miranda calling to me. Nick was close to her and looking at me but I was looking past him in sheer determination.

“Babe!” I squealed, hugging her. She giggled; we both knew we were going to put on a show for the cameras. Miranda was all about publicity and image. She squeezed my arm before we released, letting me know to bring on the fun.

We posed and then began to do interviews.

“So you guys are best friends?”

“Fasho! M. Weezy is my right hand gun.” I laughed.

“How does it feel to see her movie coming out?”

“Awesome. Miranda’s is all about this stuff and it’s great to see her dreams coming true.” What bullshit. Bullshit, like everything I’ve had to say while being famous. Fake/famous; they were the same.

All interviews did sort of the same thing until we came to some guy from somewhere I forget.

“So did you guys plan for Kylie to be the hot one and Miranda to be the cute one?”

“No; I’m naturally a hot tamale and she’s naturally a sugar cookie.” I laughed, knowing Miranda didn’t think it was funny.

“Well you look reallygood, Kyle.”

“Thanks a bunch.”

“Why are you stealing the spotlight from Miranda tonight?” He asked and I erupted into laughter. Not to save anyone while Miranda’s publicist pulled us away but because that was sotrue. I noticed the shift of cameras from her to me when I approached. I got asked the majority of questions because of Will and because of dedication to looking sexy. I kept thinking of Nick and Miranda being a couple while I was getting dressed.

I didn’t have to be a sideline while they got it all. If he didn’t want to pay me attention I didn’t need him. I could do bad all by myself; I could do it with everyone wanting me. It wasn’t conceit; it was confidence I’ve been missing for months. And right now, I just wanted to be in their faces. I wanted to tease Nick because I knew I was getting to him. And that felt great.

“I knew you were up to something with that dress.” Will shook his head, smiling.

“I can’t be blamed for looking good.” I said innocently before laughing, following his lead into the theatre.

&&

Although that movie was complete shit, there was going to be an after party at Club Seduction; my favourite. Will and I rode in the limo, hot wired and screaming to Ke$ha. We jumped out when we got there and got right into party mode. I wanted this time to feel like everything is fine or, actually, to not feel nothing at all. I wanted to enjoy myself.

Will wondered off for something to drink at one point and I stayed dancing. “Jigglin’” by the Yin Yang Twins came on and I was about to grab the closest guy before I felt string hands dip into my hips forcefully. They pulled me flat against his body, his breath heating up my neck. I shivered, feeling hot all over all ready.

“Come on,” His voice whispered, low and husky as he grabbed hold of my wrist and spun me around. His eyes looked smouldering in the dark place of the dance floor.

Before any other thoughts came to mind, this one did: He wants me. He goes public with my best friend, tells me it’s no big deal, and after I tell him I’m not waiting around, he wantsme. By the look in his eye I know it’s bad, too; the craving.

I want to smile and cheer but instead I give him a square look full of attitude. “I don’t think so.”

“Excuse me? Kyle don’t fuck with me; I’m not in the mood for your bullshit.”

“And I’m done with yours. I’m not going to be your whore, Nick. I love you but you’re using me. What am I supposed to do? Let that happen?”

“Hell yes. Now let’s go.”

“No. You go. Go and kiss on Miranda. She let you hit yet?”

“I leave the whore role to you.”

“Bye.” I said solid, turning and walking away, making damn sure of the sway in my hips.

I went up the stairs and toward the row of rooms that had curtains for privacy. We had reserved one earlier, and sure enough, Will was inside. I didn’t close the curtain, getting a view of the dance floor that we weren’t far from.

He looked tired and finally away from the dance floor, I felt a little worn also. Sitting next to him, I grabbed the drink in his hand and took a sip, having it instantly burn my throat.

“Why’re drinking this?” I asked him, face squinched at the burn of the liquid. He shrugged carelessly and I put down the drink, scooting closer. “What’s the matter?”

“Just thinking.”

“About what?”

“How life sucks.”

I chuckled dryly, completely agreeing with him. “Why does you’re life suck? You’re majoring in Computer Science at UCLA.”

“All I do is go to school, party, sit at home. I wish it was different and I had someone to spend everyday with but there’s nothing but the cheap girls on campus” He was quiet before speaking again. “To be honest, I’ve been downhill with finding a girlfriend ever since Sara. I’ve been pretty fucking hopeless and pretty fucking alone.”

“I…I know how you feel, Will.” I murmured.

“What? Yeah, right, Kylie. You’re surrounded by people.”

“Doesn’t mean I’m not alone. You have no idea how alone I am. I’ve isolated myself because I was being such a bitch. Renee won’t even speak to me.”

“Damn.” Was his simple answer.

“At least we have each other. Will-ee-Umm.” I took his hand in mine, turning on my side to face him. I was about to tell a joke about how worthless we were before I saw how he was looking at me. His eyes were serious and intent. They flickered to my lips and my eyes.

“Kyle I…--”

“Do it.” I demanded, breathless. The scenario had become hotter in an instant. I felt a pull from him to me and I wasn’t going to stray from it. I pushed my body closer to his, wanting him.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

Slowly and carefully, we reached each others lips. The taste of alcohol was on hips lips. Like it began, we kissed slow and deep, feeling drowsy with it. It wasn’t like with Nick but it was all I had and it wasn’t bad. I kept in synch with his lips as he pulled me to where I was straddling his lip. We broke apart and reconnected like there was nothing else. And right now, there wasn’t. I was kissing my best friend and it was one of the best things I’ve felt for a while.

A line of time passed before we stopped, looking dead into each other’s eyes.

“Wanna leave?” He asked me. I couldn’t find my voice; instead of speaking I nodded and he guided me up and led the way. Dazed, I followed.

&&

Nick watched with fuming anger and viciousness as his former girlfriend and his former team mate made out in their curtained area. He saw them exchange sensual kisses and was livid.

The girl who used to kiss him and the guy who used to be a geek in school. He couldn’t believe it, but there it was in front of him. He felt betrayed, but he had no right. Here he was with this crock of a girlfriend attached to his side. He wasn’t even paying attention to Miranda. He couldn’t care less about her. He was supposed to be in bed with Kylie by now, having hot sex right behind her back. Instead he was stuck here, mad as hell watching the girl he refused to admit he still loved, leave with the guy who was the biggest dork in high school. Now wasn’t bullshit.

His fingers dug bruises in Miranda’s hip unknowingly.

“Ouch! Dammit Nick you’re hurting me.” She squealed in her annoyingly high voice. He rolled his eyes, letting go of her. He needed to get away from all this shit that was making his life so damn miserable.

But he couldn’t do that of course, without allowing the things that he was miserable without. Kylie Brooks and her love.