Kiss Me

July 2008.
“Mail!” I screamed hearing the letter box go, and a few pieces of paper flutter to the floor.

“I got it!” I heard a scream from one of my room mates.

“She's gonna fall flat on her ass,” Rhian mumbled from her seat on the sofa, staring at her phone in annoyance.

“Rhian a watched pot never boils,” She looked up at me and just glared.

“Sarah seriously?” She questioned making me laugh.

“Sug if it's meant to be he will call I promise,” Niki muttered from her place on the other sofa staring at the tv and eating cereal out of the box. As anyone could see my room mates weren't in the best of moods, Rhian was sure her boyfriend was about to dump her, though I doubted it, while Niki's boyfriend was half way across the world on tour and wasn't coming back for another few months. While Taylor, our other room mate, her boyfriend had also gone on tour but had promised to send tickets in the post for her to come visit; hence why she was so excited about the post. I mean at least they had Michael, Brian and Johnny. I had no one.

That's kind of a lie, there was someone, someone who meant the world to me but had no idea how much. Adam was my best friend, no word of a lie, but that's all we were I feel. Adam never showed that he had feelings over than friendship for me, where as I honestly had fallen hard and fast for him. Not just because the man was gorgeous in all sense of the word, but because he was also the sweetest guy I had ever met. He was such a gentlemen it was unbelievable. Of course I loved his whole personality, he was funny, witty, very sexy, charming, a little quiet sometimes, very sexy, and when he was angry he pulled cute faces, oh and did I mention very very sexy?

But it was not to be, Adam had never really asked me on a date, or showed that we could be more than friends. So here I was very much in love but very much single and alone. Of course the girls knew of my troubles and always told me to say something to him because what did I have to lose?

Well actually a lot. I didn't want to lose a valuable friendship over some feelings that he may not even have for me. I just needed to get over it.

“FUCK!” There was a loud scream and then bang, and we all guessed Taylor had probably fallen over something.

“That's gonna hurt,” Niki muttered flicking through channels which was only going to end up pissing Rhian off.

“Seriously stay on one channel!” Rhian muttered earning a death glare from Niki, who then threw cereal at her. See what I mean?

“AHHHHHH!” This time the scream was a lot louder and more excited. “They are fucking her!” Taylor screamed once again running into the room and screaming still. Rhian and Niki ignored her as if it was nothing; I mean they were kind of right. Taylor usually does, when drunk, run around our living room screaming and dancing in just her underwear. It was a common sight.

“Put some clothes on,” Rhian muttered throwing a cushion and Taylor who was far to excited to notice anything. I watched her waving around the mail as she jumped about.

“So they came then?” Niki questioned as I flopped onto the sofa next to her and stole some cereal.

“I guess they must of,” I muttered noticing Taylor's dancing was getting even more dramatic. “Taylor ducky!” I shouted at her waiting for her to slowly calm down.

“Sarah dearest?” She questioned excitedly. “Oh actually!” She paused searching through the mail. “There is some post here for you!”

“Me?” I whined. “If it's bills I do not want it!”

“No it looks like it's hand written,” Taylor mumbled. “where is it? Wait,” She paused her eyes scanning over a few letters. “Rhian that is defiantly for you,” Taylor chucked a magazine Rhian's way, who just put it on the side and sighed. “And Sarah, here ya go,” A crisp white envelope was thrown my way.

“Oo a letter!” I squealed excitedly. “No one ever sends letters these days,” I pouted, it was true though, writing was a lost art form due to the internet, it was so much quicker and easier to email everything now. From email, to instant messaging, to texts, it was just so much quicker than putting pen to paper.
I gazed around wondering if the girls were staring at me, but they had lost interest. Rhian and Niki were arguing over the tv channel and Taylor was still dancing around in excitement.

I stood up slowly and walked up to my bedroom, I had no idea who this letter was from but it seemed kind of personal. The black scrawly writing had intrigued me, I didn't recognise it at all. I flopped onto my bed and opened the envelope up deciding it must be something boring.

But I was wrong.

“What the hell?” I whispered to myself staring at the letter in amazement.


21 July 2020
Dear my darling Sarah,
It's 10.20am, and I've finally found time to sit down and write to you. As you realise our mornings are all so rushed these days. I mean getting Darren ready for school and Rosie for pre school is never easy. The little nightmares, but of course I wouldn't swap them for the world. Darren is getting so much bigger now, I remember only five years ago we were in that hospital with you screaming that if I ever put you through this again you would kill me. And yet two years later there came Rosie. Once again I believe you cursed me for causing you this much pain. For the pain I am sorry, but I do not regret one moment of it, for now we have two little bundles of joy. I know you agree with me. Rosie has your eyes, beautiful blue eyes that just watch me in amazement. I know she'll grow up to be just like you, she got your perfect genes. And Darren, well he's just a ball of trouble like you, gets himself in situations that make you wonder just how it he does it.

You only left for work a few hours ago, and yet I am still missing you, even with my busy morning with the children, and Ojama pining to go for a walk, and Syrus meowing because he wants more cat food; I still find time to miss you lots. I bet your sitting in the office now, either on the phone to Gates or Zacky, as one of them moans about their clothing line. I wonder how you put up with all these rockstars around you, working for all of them and managing the clothing lines, then coming home to yet another rockstar, I have no idea how you do it baby. I have so much respect for all this work you do for them but I think it's time to go it alone. You spoke to me last night about starting your own line of clothing up, baby I think you should, you've got the money and time, and definitely have the talent. I will back you 100% all the way, you know that, I promise when we married to do so and I still stand by it.

Speaking of marriage, I'm sure you know what tomorrow is! Yes our wedding anniversary, tomorrow we will have known each other for 15 years, we will have been together for 12 years and we will have been married for 7 years. Baby how crazy is this? I still remember how beautiful you looked on our wedding day, in that white dress and beautiful vale covering your face. I remembering lifting that vale off and kissing your sweet lips in front of all those people. Declaring how much I loved you. The wedding was perfect, just how you wanted it, a small church with our closest friends then a big reception. It was perfect Sarah, you looked so beautiful that day. I remember the honeymoon as well, what a wonderful two weeks. Tahiti was beautiful, and that beach we had all to ourselves, do you remember the second night there? I do. That night you swore the fishermen had seen us on the beach making love, you were so embarrassed in the morning you wouldn't look at him.

I remember everything like it was yesterday. I'm still madly in love with you, have been ever since that fateful day I met you. Remember? Remember how you and the girls were out, and Taylor bumped straight into me spilling coffee everywhere, then Niki backed into my car without even realising, then Rhian tripped me over by accident and finally you offered to take me home but we got half way and you broke down. What a day? I honestly remember thinking if I ever ran into any of you four again I'd probably die, I remember thinking I should write a will when you invited me out for coffee to apologise. But then I fell for you, you were talking about that guy at the time though, that Richard bloke? Fuck I hated him but enough of that.

Talking of your friends, how strange is everything right now. I can't believe Taylor is having another child, you'd have thought twins was enough? Her and George do make such good parents though, they dote on those kids wanting them to have the perfect life but still making sure they learn the true values. Hollywood Undead are doing good though, I'm sure Taylor's so proud of him and the boys, but I feel as if maybe this new fame and touring will put a strain on everything?

Then there's Rhian, Michael and the kids. Indiana and Dakota, fuck they are teenagers now. I can't believe how much they've grown. You remember when Rhian believed Michael was going to dump her and in fact it was just him being scared cause the condom split? Great way for Dakota to be conceived, poor kid. It's strange to see her dropping Dakota off at the football, Rhian a football mum? Who'd have seen that coming?

Oh and Niki and Brian, they are still in Tahiti celebrating Brian's 39th birthday, it's been a good few weeks now. Lucky they kids have Zack and Raychel to look after them. Wow that's old though, not that I'm any different hey?

You married a man who is getting older and older! 42 baby, that's old, how do you put up with me? ;)
I guess I'm just being stupid, because even when I say it you laugh and tell me how you wouldn't change anything about me. Get ready for the midlife crisis next!

Get ready for the rest of our life, for the teenager tantrums, for the family crises, for all those disasters with friends, and finally for growing old (I would say gracefully but I doubt it) together. We always talked about a pretty country house in the middle of England surrounded by all the green fields. But I'm sure you'll disagree and want the sea, sun and sand; I will be more than happy to agree. We could live in one of those pretty beach houses, the ones with the glass wall at the back to stare down the garden and straight out into the pacific ocean, that is if you want to stay in California. Who knows what we're be doing 10 years from now?

As long as I'm not touring everything will be okay. I say that, and I mean it. After that last tour, I realised that 5 months away from you nearly killed me; Sarah I can't spend a day with out you. Three Days Grace are going to take a well deserved break, small shows, no big tours. It's time to have that family time we always talk about. Sarah I think it's time I settle down with you and the kids.

What ever we are doing in 10 years time, I know I will still be in love with you Sarah.

The door bell has just gone and I think it's probably Michael coming round so we can go down the gym. Us old guys need to keep fit ya know!

I love you baby.
x

I read that letter over and over, trying to understand what was happening but it just wasn't clear. How should I take this letter?

I mean everything in their was related to me, those names Rosie and Darren, they were two names I picked when Adam asked me what I should call the goldfish. Syrus, was the name of my cat I had when I was much younger. And as for the dog, I'd always wanted a dog but couldn't have one, I'd told Adam this before and he remembered what I'd call the dog as well. He'd mentioned my dream of having my own clothing line, and remembered how hard I found my new job, working with Zack and Brian, at times. He remembered how I wanted my perfect wedding, and how I wanted to go to Tahiti one day. Adam had included all the little things I'd mentioned through out the time we'd known each other; he'd paid attention to every detail.

Did this mean he loved me?

“RHIAN, NIKI!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, knowing that I couldn't comprehend what Adam was trying to say to me alone. “TAYLOR!” I added in hope that she'd stopped dancing around.

“What's up sug?” I simply passed the letter over to her, the other two girls crowding around to peer over. I watched the look of confusion on their faces. Slowly Rhian's confusion turned into a full on smile.

“Sarah this is so beautiful, oh hun, he's fallen hard!” She giggled, bloody romantic.

“This is strange,” Niki muttered gazing at the letter, still very confused. “Does he love you? I mean this is weird, but wow,” She added shrugging at me. Taylor hadn't said a word but an infamous smirk was crossing over her lips.

“You gotta tell him how you feel,” I nodded slowly standing up and taking the letter off them.

“I have to tell him how I feel!” I repeated, my heart kept skipping the beat and the butterflies in my stomach doing acrobatics. Adam loved me, Adam felt the same way I did; fuck.

I literally launched myself out of the room, running down the stairs, surprising everyone by not killing myself and jumped to the front door. I opened it quickly, not thinking about how I was going to reach Adam.

“Sarah?” I instantly froze, his deep rough voice making my whole body tremble. I gazed up into his bright eyes and instantly was lost for words. He stood their in all his glory, a pair of ripped jeans and a shirt covering his body. His long black hair all messy. This was my best friend and he always managed to send me into silence. I don't really know what took over me, why I lost all control of my actions but I did. I clutched the letter and walked straight towards him; I think he knew what was going to happen next.

Our lips met perfectly, my arms going round his body and my hands meeting at the back of his neck. My finger tips played with the long strands of black hair, as our mouths moved together. Adam's large hands fell to the small of my back, pushing my slim body up against him. This was the moment I'd imagined for years now, the moment I believed would never happen.

“I guess you liked my letter?” He whispered as we parted for air, not moving more than millimetres away from each other.

“Do you really think about things like that?” Adam nodded brushing a stand of red hair out of my face.

“All the time baby, my futures looking a bit bleak without you in it,” I felt my cheeks tinge pink, I couldn't help but let a smile grace my lips. This was so perfect. “Sarah you're the most important thing to me right now, and I want to show you that, I want more than just friendship, I want the whole Sarah package!”

I was lost for words. I had no idea he felt the same, this was just what I had always wanted.

“Say something?” He joked.

“Kiss me,”