I Wana Dance
I Wana Dance.
I ran outside, my lungs desperate for air, nicotine. After I had found my destination, I slumped against the wall and lowered myself down so that I was now sitting on the cold, hard pavement outside Belleville High grounds. All I wanted right now was to be anywhere but here. I told my mom that I didn’t want to go; I didn’t want to show my face as she put it. All I got was ‘your going to that school dance, you need to get out more’. So, here I was, humiliated again.
Clocks strikes upon the hour
And the sun begins to fade
Still enough time to figure out
How to chase my blues away
I’ve done alright up till now
Its the light of day that shows me how
And when the night falls loneliness calls
Those lyrics echo through my mind. I can hear the faint sound booming through the speakers in the dance hall. I had to get out of there, if there is one song that I hate, it’s that one. Purely because it reminds me of how lonely I am, how many problems I have, the problem I have become. I longed for somebody to hold, somebody to love.
Oh! Want to dance with somebody
I wanna feel the heat with somebody
Yeah! Wanna dance with somebody
with somebody who loves me
That’s all I wanted. Somebody to dance with, mess about with, to love with.
I found myself singing along to the pathetic song. I hated being like this. All I really wanted was to go into that dance, be able to have fun with all the other kids. I wanted to see my little brother happy, dancing with that girl he has had his eye on for years. But, me being myself wouldn’t allow myself to do that. See, I had been gay for as long as I could remember, but accepting it myself, was another matter. I felt that I needed to distance myself from everybody, because I didn’t fit in.
When I had walked into the dance, everyone was already there, all dressed up in either a nice shirt, or a dress or something. Me, being myself decided to walk in, dressed in a horror shirt, black jeans and a jacket. I didn’t care that it was meant to be formal, why dress up? I walked into the dance, causing everybody to stare around at me. I felt so sorry for Mikey; he just walked away from me, muttering how I could have been normal for just one night. I hated ruining everything for him, I hated being like this, he deserved so much more than me for a brother. After I felt all those eyes on me, I walked, not before stealing a quick glace at that guy.
Frank Iero. He was amazing. He was a few years below me; I think he was in Mike's year, pretty much the same as me, never talked to anybody, kept himself to himself. He also, decided to dress down for the stupid dance, clad in a black flag shirt and faded skin tight jeans. He looked great; I just wish that I could talk to him. I wished that instead of being at this dull, homophobic dance, I could be with him.
I’ve been in love and lost my senses
Spinning through the town
Soon or later the fever ends
And I wind up feeling down
I need a man who’ll take a chance
On a love that burns hot enough to last
So when the night falls
My lonely heart calls
Time wasstanding still. That damns song still echoing in my ears. I hated this song, reminded me of stuff. My cigarette out, nicotine coursing through my veins. I needed another, and that is what I did. I took the packet from my pocket of my jacket, took a fresh stick, placed between my chapped lips and lighted it up. Heaven I tell you. I shouldn’t smoke so much at this age, but right now, at this stage in my life I didn’t care. Suddenly the music began to get louder. Instead of being a faint, swallowed sound, it was beating through my heart. The door of the sports hall opened and out came flying Frank. Kicking the door open. Cursing under his breath, all I heard was ’fucking song’ ‘fucking school.’ Yup, sounds about right. He kicked a few more stray cans from his path, before retreating onto the grass nearby. I looked over, to see him staring blankly at the ground. I took my chances.
“Hey, want a cigarette?” I asked calmly. The moon's beams echoing down onto us, flooding into our eyes, and lighting up our faces. I loved night time, the way the moon beat down, the way the stars would shine from above. The thing that I loved the most was hearing the crickets chirp, rusting thorough the grass. I also loved the smell of the damn grass nearby. Frank then looked up from pulling random patches of grass from the earth. He gave me a confused look, but accepted the offer.
Frank scooted over to the patch of dry grass that I was on, I opened out the packet of cigarettes and handed him the packet, along with a light. He grabbed them, pulling one out and lighting it up. I knew how he was feeling, the nicotine being the savior he really needed.
“So, what’s up Frank?” I knew him slightly through friends and my brother of course. I hadn’t really talked to him much before, but I suddenly gained the confidence I needed to do so.
“What‘s up, what isn’t up! I hate this school, its racist, homophobic, cheap, and just ARGH” Frank sighed. I reached out to pat his back, reassuring him kind of thing.
“Hey man its okay, I know how you feel. I didn’t want to come tonight, too many people that don’t like me, one person that I want, that I can't have, stupid dress code that I, and by the looks of it you decided to violate. Its okay, have another smoke?” I extended the carton of cigarettes once again. I was trying my best to help Frank, but I was probably just another looser to him.
“Well yeah, I wasn’t going to wear a suit for this shit. I had to get out of there that stupid song does my head in, I might want to fucking dance with somebody once in a while, but yet I haven’t got that person. Look I‘m sorry, I should just go, you were out here first.”
Oh I wanna dance with somebody,
I wanna feel the heat with somebody.
Yeah I wanna dance with somebody,
With somebody who loves me.
Oh I wanna dance with somebody,
I wanna feel the heat.
Yeah I wanna dance with somebody,
With somebody who loves me
“No, please stay, I feel exactly the same that’s why I‘m outside too.” I let go of his arm that I had grasped, trying not to let him get away so quick.
“So, who‘s the person that you wanted to dance with, the reason you're out here at the moment, is she pretty?” Frank asked. I sighed, if only he knew.
“Well, I‘m surprised that you don’t know, but I’m gay Frank, so that she, is really a he.” I sighed.
“Wow, no I didn’t know that. That’s cool man, me too” I was shocked. I had always thought he was straight, partly the reason I though I would never have a chance with him. Frank. Gay. Perfect.
“So, who‘s the lucky guy then?” He kept pestering to know. I wanted to tell him, I had wanted to scream if from the roof tops every other day at school, so why couldn’t I just come out with it? I was afraid he would laugh at me. I was afraid he would reject me.
I blushed, trying to avoid the question, yet his eyes were seeping through my body, trying to read my eyes. Trying to dig deep for the answer of his question. I knew I had to come out with it.
“Er, its, er” I stuttered, he giggled at me.
“Come on, I wont laugh at you, remember I‘m gay too yeah?”
He was right, I should just tell him, he wouldn’t find it repulsive after all.
“Okitsyou” I stammered over my words, blushing furiously. He cocked his head to the side, trying to read my face to see what my answer had been. My face was still bright red.
“Did you say-”
“Don’t worry, I shouldn’t have said anything, just forget it” I shouted in his face, pushing up from the wall, trying to run away. He caught my arm, pulling me back to him. Before I could even comprehend what we were doing, he smashed his lips to mine, pulling my head into his with such force, it would leave bruises. After a moment, I unfroze, leaning into the kiss, wrapping my arms around Frank. Slowly our tongues met in a wet, passionate lock that I would remember forever. With a soft peck, he pulled back, smiling widely at me.
“It was you” I whispered, even though I was pretty sure he knew it was.
“And that guy I was telling you I wanted to be with, it was you” He admitted, blushing slightly. I giggled as my heart swelled. He wanted me also.
I need a man who'll take a chance,
on a love that burns hot enough to last.
So when the night falls,
my lonely heart calls.
After we had unravelled our selves from one another, we walked back to the spot of grass, sitting down together, arms around one another. It was a dream come true for me, I had liked Frank for years, and the revelation of him liking me back still hadn’t settled in, I was convinced I would wake from a dream, sweating, hard and frustrated. That didn’t happen. It was all read, I could feel the light breeze on my face, and I could fee Franks hand on mine.
Oh I wanna dance with somebody,
I wanna feel the heat with somebody.
Yeah I wanna dance with somebody,
With somebody who loves me.
Oh I wanna dance with somebody,
I wanna feel the heat with somebody
Yeah baby I wanna dance with somebody,
With somebody who loves me
The music from the hall flooded out still, ringing in our ears. We both sat, huddled together, soppy smiles plastered across our faces. Towards the end of the song, Frank grabbed my hand, pulling me from my seated position. I looked at his puzzled. It was when he held me close, his arms around my neck, urging me to put my hands on his hips, I realised. We were going to dance.
Don’t you wanna dance with me baby?
Don’t you wanna dance with me boy?
Don’t you wanna dance with me baby?
With somebody who loves me
As we swayed together to the music, the moon beating down on us, we giggled lightly and shared a few more sweet kisses. We knew this was all new to each other, we knew we had only just met, but we also knew that this one night, this one dance, could turn into something beautiful.
Clocks strikes upon the hour
And the sun begins to fade
Still enough time to figure out
How to chase my blues away
I’ve done alright up till now
Its the light of day that shows me how
And when the night falls loneliness calls
Those lyrics echo through my mind. I can hear the faint sound booming through the speakers in the dance hall. I had to get out of there, if there is one song that I hate, it’s that one. Purely because it reminds me of how lonely I am, how many problems I have, the problem I have become. I longed for somebody to hold, somebody to love.
Oh! Want to dance with somebody
I wanna feel the heat with somebody
Yeah! Wanna dance with somebody
with somebody who loves me
That’s all I wanted. Somebody to dance with, mess about with, to love with.
I found myself singing along to the pathetic song. I hated being like this. All I really wanted was to go into that dance, be able to have fun with all the other kids. I wanted to see my little brother happy, dancing with that girl he has had his eye on for years. But, me being myself wouldn’t allow myself to do that. See, I had been gay for as long as I could remember, but accepting it myself, was another matter. I felt that I needed to distance myself from everybody, because I didn’t fit in.
When I had walked into the dance, everyone was already there, all dressed up in either a nice shirt, or a dress or something. Me, being myself decided to walk in, dressed in a horror shirt, black jeans and a jacket. I didn’t care that it was meant to be formal, why dress up? I walked into the dance, causing everybody to stare around at me. I felt so sorry for Mikey; he just walked away from me, muttering how I could have been normal for just one night. I hated ruining everything for him, I hated being like this, he deserved so much more than me for a brother. After I felt all those eyes on me, I walked, not before stealing a quick glace at that guy.
Frank Iero. He was amazing. He was a few years below me; I think he was in Mike's year, pretty much the same as me, never talked to anybody, kept himself to himself. He also, decided to dress down for the stupid dance, clad in a black flag shirt and faded skin tight jeans. He looked great; I just wish that I could talk to him. I wished that instead of being at this dull, homophobic dance, I could be with him.
I’ve been in love and lost my senses
Spinning through the town
Soon or later the fever ends
And I wind up feeling down
I need a man who’ll take a chance
On a love that burns hot enough to last
So when the night falls
My lonely heart calls
Time wasstanding still. That damns song still echoing in my ears. I hated this song, reminded me of stuff. My cigarette out, nicotine coursing through my veins. I needed another, and that is what I did. I took the packet from my pocket of my jacket, took a fresh stick, placed between my chapped lips and lighted it up. Heaven I tell you. I shouldn’t smoke so much at this age, but right now, at this stage in my life I didn’t care. Suddenly the music began to get louder. Instead of being a faint, swallowed sound, it was beating through my heart. The door of the sports hall opened and out came flying Frank. Kicking the door open. Cursing under his breath, all I heard was ’fucking song’ ‘fucking school.’ Yup, sounds about right. He kicked a few more stray cans from his path, before retreating onto the grass nearby. I looked over, to see him staring blankly at the ground. I took my chances.
“Hey, want a cigarette?” I asked calmly. The moon's beams echoing down onto us, flooding into our eyes, and lighting up our faces. I loved night time, the way the moon beat down, the way the stars would shine from above. The thing that I loved the most was hearing the crickets chirp, rusting thorough the grass. I also loved the smell of the damn grass nearby. Frank then looked up from pulling random patches of grass from the earth. He gave me a confused look, but accepted the offer.
Frank scooted over to the patch of dry grass that I was on, I opened out the packet of cigarettes and handed him the packet, along with a light. He grabbed them, pulling one out and lighting it up. I knew how he was feeling, the nicotine being the savior he really needed.
“So, what’s up Frank?” I knew him slightly through friends and my brother of course. I hadn’t really talked to him much before, but I suddenly gained the confidence I needed to do so.
“What‘s up, what isn’t up! I hate this school, its racist, homophobic, cheap, and just ARGH” Frank sighed. I reached out to pat his back, reassuring him kind of thing.
“Hey man its okay, I know how you feel. I didn’t want to come tonight, too many people that don’t like me, one person that I want, that I can't have, stupid dress code that I, and by the looks of it you decided to violate. Its okay, have another smoke?” I extended the carton of cigarettes once again. I was trying my best to help Frank, but I was probably just another looser to him.
“Well yeah, I wasn’t going to wear a suit for this shit. I had to get out of there that stupid song does my head in, I might want to fucking dance with somebody once in a while, but yet I haven’t got that person. Look I‘m sorry, I should just go, you were out here first.”
Oh I wanna dance with somebody,
I wanna feel the heat with somebody.
Yeah I wanna dance with somebody,
With somebody who loves me.
Oh I wanna dance with somebody,
I wanna feel the heat.
Yeah I wanna dance with somebody,
With somebody who loves me
“No, please stay, I feel exactly the same that’s why I‘m outside too.” I let go of his arm that I had grasped, trying not to let him get away so quick.
“So, who‘s the person that you wanted to dance with, the reason you're out here at the moment, is she pretty?” Frank asked. I sighed, if only he knew.
“Well, I‘m surprised that you don’t know, but I’m gay Frank, so that she, is really a he.” I sighed.
“Wow, no I didn’t know that. That’s cool man, me too” I was shocked. I had always thought he was straight, partly the reason I though I would never have a chance with him. Frank. Gay. Perfect.
“So, who‘s the lucky guy then?” He kept pestering to know. I wanted to tell him, I had wanted to scream if from the roof tops every other day at school, so why couldn’t I just come out with it? I was afraid he would laugh at me. I was afraid he would reject me.
I blushed, trying to avoid the question, yet his eyes were seeping through my body, trying to read my eyes. Trying to dig deep for the answer of his question. I knew I had to come out with it.
“Er, its, er” I stuttered, he giggled at me.
“Come on, I wont laugh at you, remember I‘m gay too yeah?”
He was right, I should just tell him, he wouldn’t find it repulsive after all.
“Okitsyou” I stammered over my words, blushing furiously. He cocked his head to the side, trying to read my face to see what my answer had been. My face was still bright red.
“Did you say-”
“Don’t worry, I shouldn’t have said anything, just forget it” I shouted in his face, pushing up from the wall, trying to run away. He caught my arm, pulling me back to him. Before I could even comprehend what we were doing, he smashed his lips to mine, pulling my head into his with such force, it would leave bruises. After a moment, I unfroze, leaning into the kiss, wrapping my arms around Frank. Slowly our tongues met in a wet, passionate lock that I would remember forever. With a soft peck, he pulled back, smiling widely at me.
“It was you” I whispered, even though I was pretty sure he knew it was.
“And that guy I was telling you I wanted to be with, it was you” He admitted, blushing slightly. I giggled as my heart swelled. He wanted me also.
I need a man who'll take a chance,
on a love that burns hot enough to last.
So when the night falls,
my lonely heart calls.
After we had unravelled our selves from one another, we walked back to the spot of grass, sitting down together, arms around one another. It was a dream come true for me, I had liked Frank for years, and the revelation of him liking me back still hadn’t settled in, I was convinced I would wake from a dream, sweating, hard and frustrated. That didn’t happen. It was all read, I could feel the light breeze on my face, and I could fee Franks hand on mine.
Oh I wanna dance with somebody,
I wanna feel the heat with somebody.
Yeah I wanna dance with somebody,
With somebody who loves me.
Oh I wanna dance with somebody,
I wanna feel the heat with somebody
Yeah baby I wanna dance with somebody,
With somebody who loves me
The music from the hall flooded out still, ringing in our ears. We both sat, huddled together, soppy smiles plastered across our faces. Towards the end of the song, Frank grabbed my hand, pulling me from my seated position. I looked at his puzzled. It was when he held me close, his arms around my neck, urging me to put my hands on his hips, I realised. We were going to dance.
Don’t you wanna dance with me baby?
Don’t you wanna dance with me boy?
Don’t you wanna dance with me baby?
With somebody who loves me
As we swayed together to the music, the moon beating down on us, we giggled lightly and shared a few more sweet kisses. We knew this was all new to each other, we knew we had only just met, but we also knew that this one night, this one dance, could turn into something beautiful.