We All Go to Hell

I looked up as Harry came and plopped down next to me at that Ravenclaw table. Ron joined him across from me, smiled quickly, then pulled the plate of toast to him. I raised an eyebrow at Harry, but he was already eating.

“Uh, is there a reason why you guys are over here?” I asked.

They both shrugged and continued shoveling food into their mouths. Hermione dropped her bag down next to me and sat.

“Ignore them. They have the manners of a goblin,” she rolled her eyes and plucked an apple from a bowl. “I apologize for them.”

“Oh, um, okay?” I asked, a little confused. “So, why are you guys here?”

“Harry insisted we come over,” Ron said around a mouth of eggs.

I made a face at him, and looked over at Harry to see a tint of pink grace his cheeks. He scratched his neck nervously and smile sheepishly at me. I suppressed a laugh and went back to nibbling on my bacon.

I ate in silence while they bickered around me, and I occasionally laughed. It was easy to just be around them, without having to worry about everything. It was a feeling I wasn’t used to, but I had to admit that it felt nice. I was completely not paying attention to anything until Hermione started snapping her fingers in front of my face.

“Addrena? Addrena?!” she said loudly.

I snapped out of it and looked at her curiously.

“Why is Draco Malfoy staring at you?” she whispered, warily glancing toward the Slytherin table.

I followed her glaze to Draco, his eyes focused intently on where I was sitting. I caught his stare and he quickly looked away. Hermione looked at me expectedly , an eyebrow raised.

My mouth opened to respond, but I honestly had no idea what to say. I didn’t know why he was looking me, not exactly. Maybe it had something to do with the way he acted last night, maybe he was just staring into space and I happened to be where he was looking.

“He must have been looking at someone else,” I answered quietly.

-------

I was staring, I knew I was. But quite frankly at that moment, I really didn’t care. Why on earth was Potter sitting next to her? Why was he acting like he was best friends with Addrena? He said something that made her laugh, the beautiful sound reaching my ears. It sounded like musical bells.

I ground my teeth together, my anger simmering at the surface, barely controlled. In all of the years that I knew Potter, I didn’t hate him any more than I did right then. She looked up and caught my gaze and I immediately looked away.

“Dammit,” I muttered, knowing she had seen me.

“What’s wrong man?” Connor asked, nudging me with his elbow.

“Nothing,” I groaned, pushing my plate away and dropping my head onto my arms.

Connor pushed his away also and turned towards me.

“Draco, seriously. What is going on? You’ve been acting weird ever since school started. I mean, you haven’t even terrorized any first years at all,” he added jokingly. I cast him a look of annoyance and he sighed. “I know you’re not one for talking about your feelings and stuff, but I’m worried about you.”

I groaned again and muttered something.

“What?” he asked.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” I said louder. “I’ve never been this way when it comes to girls.”

“Whoa, whoa, You’re acting this way over a girl?” he questioned incredulously.

I lifted my head up and nodded.

“Who is she?”

I had to stop myself from outright laughing. Like I was going to tell him the girl I was freaking over was his beautiful younger sister. He would kill me. I didn’t know what to say so I didn’t answer him directly.

“I don’t know anything about her, yet I can’t stop thinking about her. It’s driving me insane. And I have no idea how I never noticed her before.”

At least that was true. I had been over to Connor’s house numerous times, and never once was Addrena there. Either she didn’t want to be involved, or her parents were ashamed of her. Connor also never mentioned her. Our parents were friends, and they never said anything. It was almost like she didn’t exist until now. I was baffled.

“Well, have you tried to talk to her before?” Connor asked, resting his chin on his hand.

“Kind of,” I shrugged. He glanced at me, an eyebrow raised. “Okay, we’ve talked a couple times, but it’s usually not in normal terms.”

“Take her out then, go to dinner or something. That’s the only way you can get to know her.”

“I can’t.”

“Don’t tell me. As soon as you get near her you start like the douche bag you are with all girls.”

I looked away, not saying anything. That was exactly what I had been doing. Last night I had practically groped Addrena with the way I held onto her. I just couldn’t help myself. She was so unbelievably beautiful that I had to have her in my arms. And that feisty personality, the defiance glimmering in her eyes made my heart ache.

She acted like a wounded animal ready to fight anyone off. I wanted to soothe her, to comfort her. That’s what had caused me get so near her, to breathe in her smell that was so addicting, that flowery orange scent that was so like her.

“Dude, that’s not the way to be with a girl. You’ve got to be smooth, act like Mr. Nice Guy,” Connor groaned, clearly annoyed.

“You think I don’t know that?” I snapped at him. “I just don’t know what to do around her, so I fall on my old habits. I can’t help it.”

“Okay, here. You need to go up to her, apologize for being an ass, then sweep her off her feet. It’s really not that hard,” he said.

“Oh, really? Where exactly is your girlfriend then?” I smirked.

“Oh, um, well, I, um,” he stuttered, and I laughed. “Hey! Maybe I just don’t want to be in a relationship right now.”

I rolled my eyes, not believing him.

“Listen, take my advice. It’s almost guaranteed to work, and this girl will be falling at your feet. I promise.”

It should’ve been that easy. But I knew that being infatuated with Connor’s sister, who also appeared to be friends with Potter, was dumbest thing I had ever done. And what made it worse was that I actually cared about. It wasn’t some girl that I would ignore the next day. I wanted her for my own, to hold her when she was sad, and wipe away that guarded look in her eyes.

What on earth had I gotten myself into?