Status: Finished.
Black
Aware
His expression went from not totally absorbing what she had said to giving her a glare.
“You make it sound so simple.” he grumbled.
She shrugged.
“It might be.”
He frowned at her and sat down. Seeing that he wasn’t going to do anything productive, she became irritated with him. She flapped her powerful wings to fly in front of him where she could crouch down at his eyelevel.
“You want to find your way out of here so bad,” she scolded him. “You have to do something about it.”
“I’m trying to think of a plan,” he said. “It’s kind of hard when I don’t really even know what kind of place this is or how I got here.”
“Don’t give me attitude.”
“Well what am I supposed to do?” he asked her, frustrated already.
“Honestly, you humans are just so stupid!” she said, throwing her hands up. “You don’t bother to think for a minute, just plop down and say ‘well what now?’”
He shot her a nasty look and fell back so he was laying down on his back.
“It’s not like I have a better idea,” he grumbled.
“What, do I have to tell you everything?”
“You are my ‘guide’,” he said.
“You could be more grateful,” she said. “I’m helping you, here.”
Neither of them said anything more for a while. She didn’t want to say anything more until he answered her last statement. He didn’t want to say anything until his mood quelled a bit.
Finally, his anger dissipated and he could be civil again.
“I’m sorry,” he said to her.
“Yeah,” she mumbled.
She sounded like she didn’t believe him.
“No, really,” he insisted. “I am.”
She sighed.
“I know you are,” she said back. After a short pause, she said “And I am too. I should have realized you are in a very intimidating situation right now. You have a right to be upset and stressed.”
He told her not to worry about it. Really, he wanted nothing to do with conflict. His head still hurt terribly. He rested his hand over his eyes and tried to ignore the pain.
“What’s wrong?” Black asked him.
“What? Nothing. My head hurts.”
“Do you remember why?”
He thought for a minute and came up with nothing. He didn’t really expect to remember anything anyway, so it didn’t shock him.
“No.”
She dropped the subject, and so did he. He started to think about his mother again, and tried to think of a way to escape that place. He couldn’t think of anything, and began to feel despair. He didn’t want to seem like some ‘stupid human,’ but he could not think of a thing. He had never been in a situation like this before.
“Please, Black,” he said, “tell me how to get out of here.”
She sighed and looked at him sympathetically.
“It not that hard,” she said. “Get in touch with your deepest instinct. Where is it telling you to go?”
He focused hard, trying to find this so-called deepest instinct. He didn’t know what it was like, so he didn’t really know what to look for. But he tried, and he began to get a strange feeling towards the area in front of him and to his left.
“I feel like…” he started, but stopped again for a moment to think. “That way,” he said, pointing in the direction.
She smiled.
“Let’s go then.”
***
This world was like nothing he had ever seen. He kept expecting monsters to jump out of the darkness and attack him. Black did her best to assure him that nothing could hurt him. No matter what she said, she found it hard to understand the fact that he was inside his own subconscious.
What amazed him more was this instinct he was tapping into. He didn’t even know what he was heading towards, but he felt it pull him to it. It scared him, but it also made him feel almost proud that he could do such a thing. And all through his turbulent feelings towards the whole experience, Black walked behind him and smiled.
This human amused her. The way he reacted to this world didn’t make sense to her, but she thought it was brilliant. The sincerity of his emotions made her smile. She felt differently for this one than the other humans she had helped. She truly liked this one.
“What are we looking for?” he asked.
His curiosity finally made him ask.
“You’ll see,” she told him.
He sighed and kept walking.
“I didn’t think you’d tell me,” he said. “But it was nice to have the hope.”
“Guess I dashed that.”
He didn’t like having to wait, but at least she made it a bit better. As they walked they talked about all sorts of things. Each new subject brought back new memories for him, some sad, some not. He knew he lived in a city, and he loved his apartment but he didn’t like his job. He also knew that he was a very lonely in life, but he didn’t know why.
“Don’t be upset over these memories,” she told him. “You haven’t remembered everything yet. There must be a brighter memory.”
“Yeah,” he agreed.
What bothered him was the uncertain look on her face. He chose to ignore it and keep walking. It was probably just his pessimistic mind at work.
He mother came back and spoke to him again. He paused to listen to her for a moment, seeing if maybe she would say something that would trigger a memory. She did not, so he continued on.
His mother said all the things one would expect. She said she missed him, that she was worried, and that she hoped he was all right. It sounded like she was crying. He felt guilty for making her cry and causing her to worry, but he knew he couldn’t do anything about it anyway.
“There,” Black said.
In the distance he could just barely see a faint, glowing violet color. His heart jumped at the sight of it.
“That’s what we’re looking for?” he asked.
Black nodded, and placed an encouraging hand on his shoulder.
“You’re almost there.”
His heart gave a hopeful lurch, and he began to walk just slightly faster.
As they got closer, a new voice presented itself with his mother’s.
“Honey,” it said. “You should go home. You need rest.”
It was a man. He guessed the voice was speaking to his mother, not him.
His mother agreed, and after her goodbye, he didn’t hear her voice again. The man stayed. After a bit less than a minute, he heard he man sigh.
“God damn it, boy,” the man said under his breath.
Boy. The nickname triggered a whole slew of memories. It was his father talking, and he disliked being addressed as “boy” just as much as he disliked the man addressing him as such. He felt his anger towards his father building in his stomach. He remembered the man’s stony face and serious nature. He remembered how he always treated him, like he was never going to be good enough. He didn’t want anything to do with his father, and he remembered his father wanted nothing to do with him.
Just a few more steps. He picked up his pace just a little bit, both because he was excited by the thought of remembering everything again and because he didn’t want to think about or listen to his father. Black floated along next to him, her wings barely having to move as they kept her in the air. They were so close.
And then his father spoke again.
“Was he really worth it, boy?”
“Was who really worth it?” he said aloud.
But no sooner than the words had left his lips, the answer came, and he stopped dead in his tracks.
Memories of a man he had known since they were just boys flooded back to him.
“Oh my God,” he choked out.
He fell to his knees. He remembered the smile, the voice, all the playful punches on the shoulder and the jokes. There was his best friend, so vivid in his memory.
“He’s dead,” he cried, sobs coming already.
He remembered that night, too. It was pouring rain while he drove as fast as he could to the hospital. He remembered being out of breath from sprinting to the sliding glass doors. He had been too late. His friend had passed thirty seconds earlier.
“Jayden’s dead,” he sobbed.
All the grief from the past six months hit him at once. He felt like he wouldn’t ever be okay. He didn’t want to be okay. He just wanted to disappear.
Black gripped him in a tight hug as he rocked back and forth and sobbed. She kept telling him that it would be all right, that he would be okay. He heard her, but it didn’t entirely help. The only thing that helped was her embrace. He felt like it was holding him together.
“Oh my God,” he said again. “He’s dead.”
His father said more, but he didn’t listen to any of it. He didn’t want to hear anything. The only thing he wanted to do was stay in Black’s arms and cry.
Soon, his father left and there was silence. He went on crying for hours, letting every bit of emotion out. Black stayed with him the entire time, occasionally providing a few comforting words.
Memories continued to float back to him. He felt positively broken. Each time he remembered something, it would make him hurt more. Still, he wanted to remember everything about his friend. He didn’t care if it was painful. He wanted to keep his friend with him.
Black knew he was beginning to get slightly better. He would occasionally crack a smile through his tears and say something like “He liked Butterfingers.” He would go back to crying afterwards, but it was still an improvement.
Then, slowly, the sobbing eased. He felt no better, but he was running out of the energy to even cry. Everything was turning numb to him. He felt empty.
Black tried to encourage him to carry on. She told him that there was only just a tiny way left. She even stood him up, and supported some of his weight.
For a moment, he just stood. He didn’t want to go anywhere, or do anything. He wanted to wallow, and maybe sleep. But that instinct inside him compelled him so strongly to move forward that it scared him, and so he started to walk.
What he saw made him gasp.
“What is it?” he asked Black.
It wasn’t big, just a small pool of glowing purple-blue liquid. It seemed to be radiating warmth, and he felt drawn to touch it.
“That,” she said, “is the essence of your being.”
He blinked a few times and stared at it, totally awed.
“It is your key to getting out.”
He kneeled in front of it to get a better look. It was intimidating in a way. He didn’t know what to think of the thing that could bring him back to reality.
Black kneeled next to him. She too stared into the mass in silence.
Finally, she put her hand on his shoulder.
“This is where I leave you,” she said quietly.
He looked at to her in panic.
“No, you can’t!”
She gave him a small smile.
“Tell you what,” she said. “We won’t say goodbye. It’s too hard.”
“Yes,” he agreed.
And then they were quiet for another long moment. He looked at her, thinking over his time with her. He didn’t know what to make of this girl, but he knew he didn’t want to leave her. She looked at him like she was thinking the same about him.
Eventually, his eyes drifted back to the purple-blue glow in front of them.
“Are you ready?” Black asked.
He hesitated, but, after a long pause, nodded.
“Reach out your hand,” she said, “and touch it.”
He held his hand above the liquid. He was very nervous. What if reality held more terrible memories like that of his best friend? What if it was better to just stay here?
“Don’t be afraid,” Black told him.
He knew he had to just be brave. He took a deep breath and braced himself. With her hand on his shoulder for support, he closed his eyes, and quickly lowered his hand.
Then, he felt nothing.
“You make it sound so simple.” he grumbled.
She shrugged.
“It might be.”
He frowned at her and sat down. Seeing that he wasn’t going to do anything productive, she became irritated with him. She flapped her powerful wings to fly in front of him where she could crouch down at his eyelevel.
“You want to find your way out of here so bad,” she scolded him. “You have to do something about it.”
“I’m trying to think of a plan,” he said. “It’s kind of hard when I don’t really even know what kind of place this is or how I got here.”
“Don’t give me attitude.”
“Well what am I supposed to do?” he asked her, frustrated already.
“Honestly, you humans are just so stupid!” she said, throwing her hands up. “You don’t bother to think for a minute, just plop down and say ‘well what now?’”
He shot her a nasty look and fell back so he was laying down on his back.
“It’s not like I have a better idea,” he grumbled.
“What, do I have to tell you everything?”
“You are my ‘guide’,” he said.
“You could be more grateful,” she said. “I’m helping you, here.”
Neither of them said anything more for a while. She didn’t want to say anything more until he answered her last statement. He didn’t want to say anything until his mood quelled a bit.
Finally, his anger dissipated and he could be civil again.
“I’m sorry,” he said to her.
“Yeah,” she mumbled.
She sounded like she didn’t believe him.
“No, really,” he insisted. “I am.”
She sighed.
“I know you are,” she said back. After a short pause, she said “And I am too. I should have realized you are in a very intimidating situation right now. You have a right to be upset and stressed.”
He told her not to worry about it. Really, he wanted nothing to do with conflict. His head still hurt terribly. He rested his hand over his eyes and tried to ignore the pain.
“What’s wrong?” Black asked him.
“What? Nothing. My head hurts.”
“Do you remember why?”
He thought for a minute and came up with nothing. He didn’t really expect to remember anything anyway, so it didn’t shock him.
“No.”
She dropped the subject, and so did he. He started to think about his mother again, and tried to think of a way to escape that place. He couldn’t think of anything, and began to feel despair. He didn’t want to seem like some ‘stupid human,’ but he could not think of a thing. He had never been in a situation like this before.
“Please, Black,” he said, “tell me how to get out of here.”
She sighed and looked at him sympathetically.
“It not that hard,” she said. “Get in touch with your deepest instinct. Where is it telling you to go?”
He focused hard, trying to find this so-called deepest instinct. He didn’t know what it was like, so he didn’t really know what to look for. But he tried, and he began to get a strange feeling towards the area in front of him and to his left.
“I feel like…” he started, but stopped again for a moment to think. “That way,” he said, pointing in the direction.
She smiled.
“Let’s go then.”
***
This world was like nothing he had ever seen. He kept expecting monsters to jump out of the darkness and attack him. Black did her best to assure him that nothing could hurt him. No matter what she said, she found it hard to understand the fact that he was inside his own subconscious.
What amazed him more was this instinct he was tapping into. He didn’t even know what he was heading towards, but he felt it pull him to it. It scared him, but it also made him feel almost proud that he could do such a thing. And all through his turbulent feelings towards the whole experience, Black walked behind him and smiled.
This human amused her. The way he reacted to this world didn’t make sense to her, but she thought it was brilliant. The sincerity of his emotions made her smile. She felt differently for this one than the other humans she had helped. She truly liked this one.
“What are we looking for?” he asked.
His curiosity finally made him ask.
“You’ll see,” she told him.
He sighed and kept walking.
“I didn’t think you’d tell me,” he said. “But it was nice to have the hope.”
“Guess I dashed that.”
He didn’t like having to wait, but at least she made it a bit better. As they walked they talked about all sorts of things. Each new subject brought back new memories for him, some sad, some not. He knew he lived in a city, and he loved his apartment but he didn’t like his job. He also knew that he was a very lonely in life, but he didn’t know why.
“Don’t be upset over these memories,” she told him. “You haven’t remembered everything yet. There must be a brighter memory.”
“Yeah,” he agreed.
What bothered him was the uncertain look on her face. He chose to ignore it and keep walking. It was probably just his pessimistic mind at work.
He mother came back and spoke to him again. He paused to listen to her for a moment, seeing if maybe she would say something that would trigger a memory. She did not, so he continued on.
His mother said all the things one would expect. She said she missed him, that she was worried, and that she hoped he was all right. It sounded like she was crying. He felt guilty for making her cry and causing her to worry, but he knew he couldn’t do anything about it anyway.
“There,” Black said.
In the distance he could just barely see a faint, glowing violet color. His heart jumped at the sight of it.
“That’s what we’re looking for?” he asked.
Black nodded, and placed an encouraging hand on his shoulder.
“You’re almost there.”
His heart gave a hopeful lurch, and he began to walk just slightly faster.
As they got closer, a new voice presented itself with his mother’s.
“Honey,” it said. “You should go home. You need rest.”
It was a man. He guessed the voice was speaking to his mother, not him.
His mother agreed, and after her goodbye, he didn’t hear her voice again. The man stayed. After a bit less than a minute, he heard he man sigh.
“God damn it, boy,” the man said under his breath.
Boy. The nickname triggered a whole slew of memories. It was his father talking, and he disliked being addressed as “boy” just as much as he disliked the man addressing him as such. He felt his anger towards his father building in his stomach. He remembered the man’s stony face and serious nature. He remembered how he always treated him, like he was never going to be good enough. He didn’t want anything to do with his father, and he remembered his father wanted nothing to do with him.
Just a few more steps. He picked up his pace just a little bit, both because he was excited by the thought of remembering everything again and because he didn’t want to think about or listen to his father. Black floated along next to him, her wings barely having to move as they kept her in the air. They were so close.
And then his father spoke again.
“Was he really worth it, boy?”
“Was who really worth it?” he said aloud.
But no sooner than the words had left his lips, the answer came, and he stopped dead in his tracks.
Memories of a man he had known since they were just boys flooded back to him.
“Oh my God,” he choked out.
He fell to his knees. He remembered the smile, the voice, all the playful punches on the shoulder and the jokes. There was his best friend, so vivid in his memory.
“He’s dead,” he cried, sobs coming already.
He remembered that night, too. It was pouring rain while he drove as fast as he could to the hospital. He remembered being out of breath from sprinting to the sliding glass doors. He had been too late. His friend had passed thirty seconds earlier.
“Jayden’s dead,” he sobbed.
All the grief from the past six months hit him at once. He felt like he wouldn’t ever be okay. He didn’t want to be okay. He just wanted to disappear.
Black gripped him in a tight hug as he rocked back and forth and sobbed. She kept telling him that it would be all right, that he would be okay. He heard her, but it didn’t entirely help. The only thing that helped was her embrace. He felt like it was holding him together.
“Oh my God,” he said again. “He’s dead.”
His father said more, but he didn’t listen to any of it. He didn’t want to hear anything. The only thing he wanted to do was stay in Black’s arms and cry.
Soon, his father left and there was silence. He went on crying for hours, letting every bit of emotion out. Black stayed with him the entire time, occasionally providing a few comforting words.
Memories continued to float back to him. He felt positively broken. Each time he remembered something, it would make him hurt more. Still, he wanted to remember everything about his friend. He didn’t care if it was painful. He wanted to keep his friend with him.
Black knew he was beginning to get slightly better. He would occasionally crack a smile through his tears and say something like “He liked Butterfingers.” He would go back to crying afterwards, but it was still an improvement.
Then, slowly, the sobbing eased. He felt no better, but he was running out of the energy to even cry. Everything was turning numb to him. He felt empty.
Black tried to encourage him to carry on. She told him that there was only just a tiny way left. She even stood him up, and supported some of his weight.
For a moment, he just stood. He didn’t want to go anywhere, or do anything. He wanted to wallow, and maybe sleep. But that instinct inside him compelled him so strongly to move forward that it scared him, and so he started to walk.
What he saw made him gasp.
“What is it?” he asked Black.
It wasn’t big, just a small pool of glowing purple-blue liquid. It seemed to be radiating warmth, and he felt drawn to touch it.
“That,” she said, “is the essence of your being.”
He blinked a few times and stared at it, totally awed.
“It is your key to getting out.”
He kneeled in front of it to get a better look. It was intimidating in a way. He didn’t know what to think of the thing that could bring him back to reality.
Black kneeled next to him. She too stared into the mass in silence.
Finally, she put her hand on his shoulder.
“This is where I leave you,” she said quietly.
He looked at to her in panic.
“No, you can’t!”
She gave him a small smile.
“Tell you what,” she said. “We won’t say goodbye. It’s too hard.”
“Yes,” he agreed.
And then they were quiet for another long moment. He looked at her, thinking over his time with her. He didn’t know what to make of this girl, but he knew he didn’t want to leave her. She looked at him like she was thinking the same about him.
Eventually, his eyes drifted back to the purple-blue glow in front of them.
“Are you ready?” Black asked.
He hesitated, but, after a long pause, nodded.
“Reach out your hand,” she said, “and touch it.”
He held his hand above the liquid. He was very nervous. What if reality held more terrible memories like that of his best friend? What if it was better to just stay here?
“Don’t be afraid,” Black told him.
He knew he had to just be brave. He took a deep breath and braced himself. With her hand on his shoulder for support, he closed his eyes, and quickly lowered his hand.
Then, he felt nothing.