Curiousity Killed the Cat

I have been spending the summer holidays at Sirius’ old house, which ever since his parents died, has been legally his. It was, for a lack of a better word, a piece of shit. I’m surprised that the house was still standing, seeing as all the wood had been older than I was.

Sirius decided that since he hates everything about his family, he might as well allow it to be the headquarters for the ‘Order of the Phoenix’, a group that was against the Dark Lord. Thinking of that, why do I call him the Dark Lord? Because I don’t think he deserves an actual name, considering what he has done, and I am not afraid of his name.

Since this was the headquarters, it meant that there was always people in it. For the beginning, it was mostly me and Sirius but towards the end, there was always someone else there. Remus Lupin, one of Sirius’ old school friends, was one of the consent visitors. He was a werewolf and knew everything about me, seeing as Sirius told him. He was very smart, actually. Ron’s parents were also here from time to time as was Professor Snape, who would glare at both Sirius and I.

Today, there was a meeting being held. I was aloud to go because Sirius said I could and I didn’t have anyone saying that I couldn’t. Plus, I was useful with my visions. Earlier that morning, the Weasly’s and Hermione showed up, all of which who were glad to see me alive and well. They weren’t aloud to go to the meetings, because Mrs. Weasly was somewhat, okay, very strict. She wasn’t thrilled with me being there, but Sirius told her that he said I could.

We sat in the kitchen and by ‘we’ I mean Sirius, Mr. & Mrs. Weasly, and myself. The others had gone out to pick up Harry, I believe. Professor Snape might be coming, he might not, that’s how he was. I was toying with my blond locks, which I still didn’t like as much as my black ones, when I heard a crash from the other side of the door.

“Oh! Sorry!” a female voice called from the other side, obviously the source of the crash. The door opened only to reveal a young female, roughly twenty or so, with bright purple hair.

“Hey Tonks,” I said, greeting my friend.

She looked up and smiled briefly. “Hiya Lys.”

Tonks walked in, holding her head in shame, followed by some of the other members of the Order. Mrs. Weasly shrieked, causing me and Sirius to choke on a sip of butterbeer. Harry walked into the kitchen (clearly the cause of Mrs. Weasly’s shriek) and gave her a half-smile.

“Oh Harry, dear! Good to see you!” she said, giving him a back breaking hug. “Ron and Hermione are upstairs. Supper will be ready in an hour.”

That basically translated to: “Oh Harry, dear! Good to see you alive, rather than as a cold, dead corpse! Ron and Hermione are upstairs---where you should be too! You may come down when us adults are done talking.”

One hour later, the kitchen was full of life and laughter for the first time this summer. Everyone was downstairs eating dinner, which was a very delicious one thanks to Mrs. Weasly. Fred and George were talking to Mundugus Fletcher about something private, as they sat away from everyone else. Hermione and Ginny, Ron’s younger sister, were talking to Tonks while Ron ate most of the food. Harry, Sirius, and Remus were talking about something that I couldn’t hear.

I felt very… lost. I’m not sure why though. Perhaps it was because it seemed like everyone else belonged here. I was just here for my visions. I was a tool in this work shed. The only person who wanted me here was Sirius, which was not very reassuring. Everyone else thought it was bad to be near me since everyone was trying to find me. I knew I was probably just being silly, but I just didn’t know what to do. The more I thought about it, the more sense it made. If I couldn’t see things, would I be needed?

I suddenly stood up, not that anyone noticed, and hurried out of the room, sitting down on the worn out stair case. I felt empty. No one truly cared about me except perhaps Sirius. I sighed; I was being stupid. I was being a stupid, hormonal teenage girl and I hated to admit it but at the moment, I will embrace that and go on about my problems.

What if this wasn’t me and it was actually true? What if I was only here because of my powers? I wanted to feel important in a non-defeat the Dark Lord way. As strange as it might sound. I didn’t want to be here because of what I am, I wanted to be there because I was someone’s close friend and could help.

As fate would have it, the door from the kitchen opened, revealing a tired looking Harry. He glanced at me before raising an eyebrow. Great, now he believes that I am an emotional teenage girl.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, clearly unsure of what to do.

“Nothing. Everything is just fine,” I said, my eyes hardening. I guess that only led him to suspect that something really was wrong because his expression changed.

“Elyse, what’s wrong?” he repeated, taking a step towards me.

I jumped up from the step. “What’s wrong, Harry? Everything is wrong, Harry! Everything is wrong with me!”

I began to run up the steps, ignoring the fact that the kitchen had suddenly fell silent, and into ‘my’ room, as Sirius told me. I closed and door and let myself sink to the ground, my back to the door.

I hated this. I hated that I couldn’t walk out the door without the risk of being caught. I hate that I couldn’t have my black hair; stuck as a blond for the rest of my life. I hated that I didn’t have any real friends with me. I hated how my life was destroyed because of someone’s selfish needs. Most of all?

I hate that no one understands.