Curiousity Killed the Cat

January 5th.

Otherwise known to me as my birthday.

Of course, I sure as hell didn’t tell anyone. Why does it matter? I’m eighteen. It’s just another year closer to death, isn’t it?

Yes, I am a bitter pregnant woman. I am also fat or, as Mrs. Weasley said, “carrying a bit of extra weight”. At five months pregnant, I was really not looking forward to this whole “miracle” shit anymore. I personally just want the damn kid out of me.

Of course, it’s kind of hard to hide the fact that I am carrying a child when I can’t even get out of a chair without getting stuck plus, as I keep saying, I’m fat.

Although, there is some sort of fun to do today. Since, or so I’ve heard, Harry and Ron and Hermione are on a mission or whatever, we’ve been doing Potter-Watch. Fred and George and their friend Lee do it and it’s pretty amusing to watch and listen to.

Tonight’s broadcast, they’ve invited me to also do it with them. Rather than do nothing, I agreed. We all have our “codenames”, although Fred and George have yet to tell me mine. They claimed it was a “surprise”.

“Hello everyone and welcome back to Potter-Watch! This is River…” Lee began, ruffling though his notes like a real reporter would. I bit back a laugh as Fred and George grabbed their notes.

“We wish you all a Merry Christmas, even though it was a while ago. We sadly were not able to broadcast over that time span due to some issues,” Fred went on once Lee had finish what he was saying.

“On the brighter side, we have a special guest with us tonight,” George said, glancing over at me. Now, it’s hard to be excited when they keep things from you. “We are glad to welcome…”

“Mommy-to-be!” they all said together, grinning like idiots at my shocked face.

I glared at them. “‘Mommy to be’? I’m really going to hurt you guys. Didn’t your mother ever tell you to not piss off a pregnant woman?”

Somewhere far off…

“It’s called Potter-Watch. Fred and George do it with their friend Lee, it’s actually bloody brilliant,” Ron said, fiddling with the magical radio as Harry and Hermione sat and waited.

“Potter-Watch?” Hermione asked, raising an eyebrow as he cursed the radio. After a couple of minutes, Ron was finally able to get the channel. They all sat back and listened as the familiar voice of Lee Jordan filled the tent.

“Hello everyone and welcome back to Potter-Watch! This is River…”

“They have to have codenames so no one hunts them down,” Ron explained as Hermione and Harry raised an eyebrow at the name “River”.

“We wish you all a Merry Christmas, even though it was a while ago. We sadly were not able to broadcast over that time span due to some issues,” a voice which they were all able to make out as Fred went on.

“On the brighter side, we have a special guest with us tonight,” George’s voice cut in. “We are glad to welcome…”

“Mommy-to-be!” the three said together.

“Tonks?” Hermione mouthed to them. It was clear that the new codename had confused all of them. They only knew of one “mommy-to-be” and that was Tonks. Unless it was Fleur, but it seemed unlikely that she would want to come onto the show.

“ ‘Mommy-to-be’? I’m really going to hurt you guys,” another voice cut in, female. “Didn’t your mother ever tell you not to piss off a pregnant woman?”

Harry felt his heart stop as Ron and Hermione shared a confused glance until it finally clicked in.

“Elyse!?” Hermione nearly shrieked as Ron looked ill, like he truly was frightened of a pregnant Elyse. Harry, on the other hand, stand there, not moving. “She’s pregnant!?”

“So, Mommy-to-be,” Lee said, cutting off their state of shock. “when is the baby due?”

Elyse scoffed. “Not soon enough.”

George, or perhaps it was Fred, laughed. “So, Mommy-to-be, do you have anything to say to Harry or anyone out there?”

“Yes, I have two things to say. First off, I suggest using a condom. Pregnancy is not what it is all cracked up to be. You get really fat and feel the need to eat… what the hell is this anyways?” Elyse said, allowing Hermione to crack a smile. “Secondly, I’d like to tell Harry that he sure as hell is not the next Shakespeare.”

Harry felt a sad yet happy smile form on his face at her comment.

“Let us all have a moment of silence and pray that this baby does not have blond hair…” Fred said. A loud thud could be heard over the radio, in what they assumed to be Elyse hitting him.

“Well, that’s all the time we have! We’ll see you guys next time on Potter-Watch, well, that is unless Mommy-to-be murderers us in our sleep. The next password is Chocolate. Goodnight!”

The radio went silent, signaling that the broadcast was over.

“When the hell did that happen?” Hermione said, her eyes closed as if she was trying to control her anger.

Harry sighed. “The day before we left.”

SMACK!

Before Harry could stop it, Hermione’s hand made contact with his face. Ron, who was somewhat shocked, grabbed Hermione by the waist and pulled her away from Harry, where she was trying to harm him once again.

“Harry! You idiot! You moron! You sleep with her and then leave the next morning!?” Hermione shrieked. Ron and Harry were both glad that they had put a Silencing Charm on the tent earlier this morning. “Oh, I am going to kill you! Why the hell are you smiling!?”

Harry, who was indeed smiling, just continued to smile.

“Seriously, mate. Do you have a death wish?” Ron asked, still struggling to keep Hermione away from him.

“Because I’m going to be a father.”