And I Thought I Loved You Then

In the aftermath of their intense, needy and almost rough love making, the nerve endings in Autumn's flushed, sweat slicked body were on high alert. Laying on her stomach, she tingled from head to toe, and the bottoms of her feet and her uterus still assaulted by cramps; well documented after effects of a powerful orgasm. Or in her case, multiple ones.

Her mind was assaulted with vivid near play by play of the last forty five minutes. Passionate kisses that started by the side door and continued inside the house. Greedy hands making short work of buttons, belt buckles and zippers before they even made it to the top landing of the stairs on route to the bedroom. The back of her head colliding against the wall next to her bedroom door as she was shoved aggressively into it. Then being unceremoniously stripped from the waist down and made privy to Sid's oral fixation before he physically carted her off into the bedroom where he 'made an honest woman' out of her. She felt herself blush from head to toe and her stomach flutter as her dirty little thoughts ravaged her mind, and she suddenly found herself erupting into hysterical giggles.

She heard the rustle of sheets as Sidney moved beside her. He'd been motionless and silent on his back, a forearm over his eyes as he'd fought to control his harsh erratic breathing, and now she felt his hand settle on the small of her back and his moist lips against her left shoulder.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

Autumn turned her head to face him and settled her cheek against the pillow underneath him. God, there was something so incredibly sexy about him. Especially in the midst of post orgasmic bliss. His curls were wild and unruly; the spots above his ears and at the back of his neck soaked with sweat. And perspiration glistened on every inch of his smooth skin. Those broad shoulders and strong, powerful arms -she exactly judged herself on how hot the sight of his forearms could make her- and his rock hard, well chiselled abdomen. But the greatest sight to behold, the one that made her libido skyrocket, was his thighs and calves. She'd honestly never seen a guy with legs that amazing before, and what took up residence between them and right out there for her to see....

She laughed again and plopped her face into her pillow. "I'm sorry..." she managed around gulps of air. "I just...I can't...I can't seem to have a conversation with you when you're naked. I thought that seeing you in shorts and that underarmour stuff you wear is bad enough..."

"So I can't wear shorts, underarmour or go naked around you," Sid mused, a grin on his face as he pushed himself up onto his right elbow and then reaching across his body with his left arm, leaned over the bed and scooped up the comforter that had slid to the floor during their haste to get down to business.

"Well I never said that," Autumn gave a pout. "I just said that I can't form a proper sentence or coherent thought when your legs are showing."

He grinned, blushed slightly and then draped one half of the duvet over her before drawing the other section around his own body and laying back down. He settled the side of his head against her pillow and reached out to lay a hand on her back.

"I bet you hear that a lot," Autumn mused, as she turned her head to the side. The tips of their noses touching and their breath warm on each other's faces, she'd never found herself that comfortable and relaxed in a man's presence before. Even with her own husband.

"What's that?" Sid asked, and using the nape of her neck as a starting point, dragged his fingertips along the entire length of her spine.

"About how incredibly sexy your legs are," she replied. "How your thighs and calves just make girls hot by looking at them. I bet you get that a lot."

"I've heard it a couple times," he admitted sheepishly. "But just a couple."

"Yeah, right..." she laughed. "I bet that..." she gave a small shriek and she arched her back as he hit the sensitive base of her spine. Then laughing when he wrapped his arm around her waist and settling his hand on her hip, yanked her tightly into him. "You hear it all the time," she finished.

"Actually...no," Sid replied, and pecked the end of her nose. "I don't."

"You can't be teasing me like that," Autumn informed him, and reaching behind her body, moved his hand from her ass to the middle of her back. "I can't take it right now, okay? Because you'll hit a certain spot and I'll just go insane and throw you down and attack you."

Sid arched both eyebrows. "A certain spot?" he asked, and began slowly walking his fingertips down her back. "You mean the certain spot that..."

"Don't even think about," Autumn warned, as his eyes locked on hers and her fingers continued on a downward path. "I'm serious...don't even go near there..."

"Go near where?" he inquired innocently.

"You're bad," she declared, then nibbled on her bottom lip once again as he hit the small of her back.

"I'm getting close..." Sid grinned. "Almost there..."

"Don't be a douche..."

"Couple more inches and you'll be squealing and jumping all over me," he said, ignoring her.

"I'm serious, don't be going anywhere near my..." she shrieked when she felt his feathery touch pass over one cheek of her ass, followed by the other, and then graze over the crack. "Do you seriously mind?!" she bellowed.

"Okay...okay...I'll be good..." Sid promised, laughing as she reached up to swat him playfully in the back of his head. As she attempted to wriggle away, he laid his hand on the small of her back and once more yanked her into him. Holding her firmly in place with both his hand, and the leg he draped over her thigh. "What are you going to do now?" he asked. "Can't get away now, can you."

"You have an unfair advantage," she pouted, and rubbed the tip of her nose against the end of his. "You've only got about eighty pounds up on me and the heaviest freaking legs! It's hardly an even match up here."

"I can bench three of you with my legs," he said. "Probably even four."

"Okay...let's not talk about the legs, okay? You already know what seeing them does to me..."

"Now I can't talk about them? You're easy to please, Autumn. What are you ever going to do when I start dragging you to the gym with me?"

"I am not setting foot in no gym with you!" she declared. "What are you trying to do to me? Do you have any idea what effect seeing you all hot and sweaty and working those legs would to do me?" she blew her bangs off of her forehead and sighed contently. "Can we please talk about something else?"

"Should have known you'd be a post sex talker. Considering you were incapable of shutting up that day at the hospital."

She frowned, then pressed a kiss to his mouth before biting down hard on his bottom lip.

"Ow!" he clasped a hand to his mouth and laughed. "You're vicious for a little thing."

"You like the abuse," she said, then managed to turn over onto her side, presenting him with her back. "I'm not just a post sex talker, I'm a post sex snuggler too."

"Women snuggle," Sid informed her. "Men spoon."

"You've been watching Entourage!"

He nodded and placed his hand on her stomach. "I thought I'd give it a try when you mentioned it that day at the hospital."

"Ari the agent is my favourite," Autumn said, as she settled her back against his chest and stomach and ran her fingertips along his forearm. "Jeremy Piven...he's hilarious. Let's hug it out, bitch," she giggled at that. "Makes me laugh every time I hear it."

"You'll have to tutor me on it," Sid told her. "I've missed too much of it."

"Oh I'll tutor you alright," Autumn declared, then rubbed her ass against him. "Seeing as I've been doing that since the first night you spent here."

"You've got this uncanny ability of embarrassing the living shit out of me," Sid informed her, and pressed a kiss to her shoulder.

"You're an easy target. I've landed myself this virginal Catholic school boy type that I can corrupt."

"Autumn...come on..." his lips travelled across her shoulder, pausing at the back of her neck in order to move her hair away so he could trace the outline of her tattoo with the tip of his tongue. A victorious grin invading his face when he felt her shudder against him. "I thought I've already shown you a few times now that I'm not as virginal and innocent as I seem."

"Only because I've already managed to corrupt you," she said, then gave a whimper as his teeth scraped against the nape of her neck.

Sid just grinned, and drawing away from her, trailed his tongue and his lips slowly down the middle of her back, the fingers of his right hand skimming along her arm and then down her hip at the same slow, steady pace. Her skin was smooth; he could taste, and breathe, the salt of her sweat and feel the way her muscles tensed, then spasmed under his touch.

"You can't be doing this to me," she breathed.

"Yes..." he said, his lips against the middle of her back as his fingertips moved across her hip and up her wrist and along her arm. "I can."

She released a long, content sigh, then a whimper as his hand continued its journey up her arm and he licked his way up her spine to the nape of her neck once again.

"You're so beautiful, baby..." he whispered, as his mouth came to rest against the side of her neck, just below her ear. "Every inch of you...you have no idea how much I want you...how much I need you..."

She shuddered; turned on by the intensity in his voice and his warm breath wafting over her skin.

"I love you, Autumn...I meant it when I said it...I'll always mean it."

She rolled over onto her side to face him, and there was a soft smile on her lips as she reached up to comb her fingers through his hair. "I love you too," she said, and kissed him tenderly.

"You don't have to say it," Sid reminded her. "Like I said outside when I first told you, I don't expect you to say it until you're ready to say it and you actually mean it..."

She silenced him with a long, deep kiss, then pushing him over onto his back, quickly climbed astride him. Placing her hands on his shoulders, she leaned down and rested her forehead against his. "I am ready to say it," she said. "And I mean it."

Sid smiled and brought his head up to kiss her.

"Now..." Autumn shoved him back down by his shoulders and held him there. "How about you show me how much you love me instead of telling me?" she asked.

"I don't know...seems like right now you're in the driver's seat, babe."

A devilish grin seized her face. "Then you're in for hell of a ride," she declared.

xxxxxx

"Ryan will be home in an hour," Autumn commented sleepily, as she lay on her stomach in between Sid's legs, her naked body resting against his own.

She was physically and emotional spent. Their need and hunger for one another was voracious and insatiable; she simply was unable to get enough of him. That, mixed in with their earlier fight and the issues with Meghan, the media and her phone call with David, had left her close to shattered. She found herself choking back emotion and blinking back tears as her head lay on his chest and she listened to the steady beat of his heart and enjoyed the feathery touch of his fingertips as they traced slow patterns on her shoulder.

"So that means..." Sid consulted his watch. "We've got about forty five minutes do just lie here and do nothing, and another fifteen to actually get showered and what not. Seven and a half minutes each."

"You've got it down to a science, do you?" she laughed into his chest.

"Now that I think about it, we actually could have about fifty two and half minutes to lie here and seven and a half to shower if we just go in there together."

"You know what will happen if we go in there together?" she asked, eyes sparkling as she raised her head to look at him. "We go in there at the same time and we're going to need another hour to calm ourselves down afterwards."

"An hour? You're doing wonders for my ego here."

"Like your ego needs any help."

Smiling, Sid smoothed her hair away from her face and pressed a kiss to her forehead. Followed by another to her hips.

"I think there's something wrong with us," Autumn said with a sigh, and rested her head on his chest once again.

"What kind of something?"

"The something that is making it impossible for us to get out of bed. Or should I say, the something that always drives us to end up in bed."

"This is our honeymoon stage, right? Isn't that what it's called? And we've got six years between us to make up for."

"True...I guess I underestimated having some young, hot stud at my old age," she mused.

"I think you're underestimating yourself," Sid told her. "And the fact that you drive me insane so quickly and easily."

"Insane huh? As in mentally insane or..."

"You know what kind of insane I'm talking about," he said, as he lightly combed his fingers through her chestnut tresses and brought his hands to a standstill on her shoulders. "The best kind of insane possible."

"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe it's not actually me that's doing that to you?" Autumn asked. "That it's just the fact that you're only twenty two and incessantly horny and have incredible stamina? That you haven't had sex in a year so you're just so caught up in the fact that you're getting laid so much that..."

"It's you," he interjected, and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. "Trust me...it's you."

"You're delusional," she declared, but he could feel her smiling against him.

Silence descended on the room once more. Outside, life continued to unfold. They could hear the hum of a lawnmower in the distance as someone tended to their yard. The chirping of the birds in the surrounding trees and the chattering and laughter of neighbours on the street and traffic passing by the house. But all that mattered, all that had any meaning and significance, was what existed in that quiet room. Two people wildly and crazily in love with one another, taking each spare second that was given to them and turning those times into moments to remember. Even if all they did was hold one another and bask in each other's presence and the blissful afterglow that enveloped them.

"I'll have to go back to Mario's tonight," Sid said, breaking the silence. "I need to get at least eight hours of sleep tonight and then I've got my whole game day routine I go through."

"Superstitions?" she turned her head towards him and laid her cheek on his chest.

"Not really. Just things I always do on game day. Get up around ten in the morning, eat, hang out for a bit, eat again, have a nap, head the arena two hours before."

"You've been doing all of that since you started in the NHL?" she asked. "Do you have it practically scheduled out to the exact hour and minute?"

"Somewhat, I guess."

"Superstitions," she declared, then pressed a kiss the underside of his chin.

"Mario's got the security passes for all of you," Sid told her, and tucking her hair behind her ears, skimmed his fingertips along her cheeks. "So that you won't get hassled coming down to the dressing home after the game. And I've got a game worn jersey from the Winter Classic last year for Ryan. I'll have someone bring all of it over tomorrow."

"A man servant in a Rolls Royce?" she teased.

"Not exactly," Sid laughed. "I was thinking one of Mario's kids on their mountain bikes."

"You're cheap," Autumn teased. "Ryan won't shut up about the game. I just know he's been bragging about it to his little friends at school all day. And that he's probably spread it around the place that we're together."

"That's a bad thing? You didn't want people knowing? Isn't it a little too late for that? You know, considering that douche ex of yours sold us out."

"It's not that I care who knows and who doesn't know," Autumn said. "It's just that...he's seven years old and he doesn't always think before he speaks and he trusts everyone. He sees the good in everybody and I worry that there's going to be kids that will take advantage of him. Who didn't want anything to do with him before but all of a sudden want to be his friend because of who his mom is dating."

"He's a smart kid, Autumn. I think you're underestimating him a little bit. I'm pretty sure he can see right through kids like that. Just cut him some slack, okay? I know he's only seven..."

"He's still my baby," she interjected gently.

"But you've done an amazing job raising him. I'm sure you've taught him how to handle himself. When and when not to trust people."

"It doesn't mean he's going to listen. Did you listen to everything your mother told you when you were seven?"

Sid grinned. "Good point. You know, it might be a good idea to talk to his school. Because now that the public knows about us, they're going to be curious about everything. About your entire life. And that includes Ryan. And talking to the school and telling them not to talk to the press or even fans for that matter? That might be a smart way to go."

"You actually think his teachers or his principal would tell personal stuff? About Ryan and I? They have confidentiality rules and all of that and they can't just..."

"Everyone has a price, Autumn. And money talks. Just..." he sighed and smoothed her hair away from her forehead and pressed a kiss to the end of her nose. "Just be on the safe side, okay? Do it for me. I know you think you can trust everyone that's in your life, but I've seen all of this happening to some of my team mates' girlfriends and these are guys that aren't..." he searched for the appropriate word.

"As famous as you are?" she offered.

Sid nodded. "I saw people that had been in their lives for years turn on them. Family members even. Just to make a buck from the press. Sometimes to even just cause problems. I'm not saying that anyone you know would do that to you, but..."

"It's better to be safe than sorry," Autumn concluded. "I'm going to need some tutoring when it comes to all of this," she said with a sigh. "Who knew it would all be so complicated? That being in love with someone would come with so many...rules and regulations."

"It's just to protect yourself. And Ryan," Sid assured her. "Nathalie can tell you horror stories. About good relationships that went really, really bad and ended up going down the toilet in the end because of the press and the public. The fans here are amazing. But there's girls like Meghan and fans of opposing teams that just love to cause shit. And I don't want you hearing things and freaking out and jumping to conclusions. I just want you to be prepared for anything. And you'll eventually have to talk to the media and the fans yourself. They'll want to know everything about you, get close to you. Mario will be able to send you to the right people to learn how to handle all of that."

"Just don't ever expect me to come to Philadelphia to watch you play," Autumn said.

"Philadelphia? Why...?"

"Those people scare the shit out of me!" she cried, and lacing all of her fingers together, laid her hands on his chest and placed her chin upon them. They're amazing hockey fans and I'm sure they're genuinely nice people. I just...I don't want to be hearing the things that I know they say about you. Unless you want me beating the shit out of someone in the stands or in the parking lot."

"Maybe it is better to keep you away from Flyers territory," Sid concluded, and moved her hair away from her shoulders.

"Now New York City I can handle," she said. "I have no problems with going there to see a game. Just means I get to go shopping in all those kick ass stores first."

"Like Saks Fifth Avenue? Macys? Places like that?"

"No...more like Louis Vuitton and Dolce and Gabbana. Okay, so maybe in my case it would be window shopping as opposed to actual shopping, but I am a sucker for those little blue boxes."

He arched his eyebrows.

"You know, Tiffany‘s," Autumn explained. "The jewellery store. The world renowned jewellery store."

"I know what it is. Just why..."

"Don't worry," she said, and sliding up his body, placed a kiss on his lips. "I was not dropping a hint. Merely making conversation. Besides, if I really wanted bling, I'd find a way to buy it myself."

"There you go again..." he sighed, and burying his hand in her hair, drew her head down onto his shoulder. "Going all independent, self sufficient woman on me."

"I just don't want you think I'm THAT type," she reasoned.

"What type is that?" Sid asked.

"The bling, the designer clothes, the fancy cars..."

"Autumn, I don't need convincing about that, alright? I already know you're not like that."

"But your fans and your team mates and their girlfriends don't," she reminded him. "Or your agent. Or your parents."

Sid sighed at the mere mention on his folks and his agent. "Let me worry about them," he said, and stroked her back softly. "Don't even think about them. I'll talk to them all when I'm good in ready."

"Your dad's been calling you constantly," Autumn said. "He's probably wondering where you've disappeared to. Or if I've done something to you."

"I'll just tell him the truth."

"Which is?"

"That my older girlfriend kept me tied up in bed. Literally."

Autumn laughed and nuzzled his ear with her nose. "You wish! What? Don't tell me that the superstar hockey player likes to be chained to the bedpost."

"I wouldn't know. I've never done that sort of thing."

"There's always a first time," she said, and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. She sighed contently and draped her arm over his chest and laid a leg over his thighs. "What time is it now?" she asked.

Sid consulted his watch. "Three fifteen," he replied.

"Half an hour to just lie here and do nothing," she concluded and gave a loud yawn.

"Oh I can think of a lot of things I could do in a half an hour," he said with a chuckle, and ran his hand up and down her back. His fingers found the network of small scars that took up residence between her shoulders.

Sid had noticed them the first night they'd spent together, and when he'd softly touched them then, she'd stiffened up immediately and asked him not to. Now, as his fingertips lightly traced the long healed injuries, she tensed slightly, then quickly relaxed.

"Autumn...what...?"

"I was eight," she told him. "And I was bad and my mother...I was bad. I don't talk about it."

"You don't have to," Sid assured her, although his imagination was already coming up with a half a dozen things that her mother could have done to her to cause that kind damage.

Autumn was silent for a couple of minutes, then propping herself on her elbow, looked down at him intently. "They don't bother you?" she asked.

"Your scars?"

She nodded.

"Why would they bother me? They don't make you any less of a person. I don't expect you to be perfect."

"I want you to think I'm beautiful," she said.

"I do," he brought his head up off of the pillow and kissed her tenderly. "I do think you're beautiful. Insanely beautiful. Nothing's going to change how I see you, babe."

She gave a small smile.

"We all have scars. Just some peoples' you can't see," Sid reasoned.

"That was very prolific and deep for a hockey player," Autumn teased, and covered his mouth with hers in a long, languid kiss.

"Impressive, huh? I'm a study in contradiction. Are you impressed?"

"Very much."

"Good...'cause I got that off of a Paul Brandt song," he admitted, then chuckled as she yanked at his hair playfully. "I can't help it. I'm a country music junkie, alright? It's the East Coaster in me. And you have to admit, some of that stuff is pretty damn deep."

"You want deep? How about..." Autumn thought for a moment. "Nothing is more painful than regret."

"That's a good one. Where'd you hear that? Or is that an Autumn-ism?"

A grin tugged at her lips. "I read it on the back of a No Fear t-shirt once," she confessed, then settled her head down on his shoulder once more as they both laughed. "They really don't bother you?" she asked worriedly. "The scars?"

"I just said that..."

"You're the first person they haven't bothered," she said. "That hasn't been repulsed by them."

"That can't be true. I mean, you were married. I'm sure that your husband was..."

"Quinton wasn't perfect. And he had a lot of great things about him. A lot of amazing things, actually. But he..." she sighed. "Compassion was not one of those things. The first time he saw them he was grossed out by them. He was big into physical beauty. My physical beauty that is. And he told me to never go without a shirt again. To wear one all the time. All the time," she stressed the last three words.

Sid didn't respond. The truth was, he didn't know what to say. He knew that if he spoke any ill words against her deceased husband, that he'd look like an insensitive asshole and Autumn would get offended and freak out on him about it. Yet if he said anything good about the guy, then she'd most likely get upset assuming that he was siding with Quinton. It was definitely a no win situation.

"They don't bother me," he said at last, taking the easy way out of a sticky situation. "They're just scars, Autumn. That's all. They're part of what makes you, you."

She was quiet for a minute, then she lifted her head and smiled at him. "That was a very, very, very good answer," she declared.

Sid smiled as well, then checked his watch once more before laying a hand on the back of her head and yanking her into him for an intense kiss.

"You really are hell bent on making up for the past year, aren't you," Autumn stated with a giggle, as he rolled her over onto her back and covered her body with his.

"Maybe getting laid this much will help me play better tomorrow," he said, and pushed her hair away from the side of her neck and lowered his head to begin kissing, licking and sucking at her sensitive skin.

"I don't think you need any help with that," she told him, then gave a long, content sigh as his hand slid slowly up her leg; from her knee to the inside of her thigh.

"Maybe I'll score tons of times on the ice," he said. "Maybe the more I get off of it the more I'll..."

The sound of the front door slamming open, then closed again, startled them both. Autumn gave a small shriek, then placed her hands on Sid's shoulders and shoved him off of her.

"Maybe it's just your mother in law," he said, already leaning over the bed and beginning a search for his clothes. "Uh...you did bring in my pants and my shirt from the hallway, right?"

"Mom!" Ryan bellowed from downstairs. "Mom! Sid! I know you guys are here! Where are you?"

"No I didn't remember to grab our clothes from the hall," Autumn whispered, and scrambling off the bed, tore the comforter off of it and wrapped it around her naked body. Hurrying to the door, she opened it and looked up and down the hall to make sure her son wasn't in close proximity. "I'll be right there Ryan!" she yelled. "Just give me a few minutes and I'll be down. Why don't you go and make yourself a snack or something?"

"I never get snacks after school!" he shouted back.

"Well let's start something new!" Autumn responded, and scooping up the small pile of clothes lying by the door, rushed back into the bedroom.

"Why do I feel like I'm some high school kid that's been busted by some father that's going to have his ass for sleeping with his daughter?" Sid asked, as Autumn tossed his clothes at him.

"This is worse," Autumn told him, and yanked her own shirt over her head. "This is an overprotective seven year old who thinks he's my father."

"Maybe I should sneak out? Slip out the window? Slide down the eaves trough?"

"This is so not funny," she declared, and yanked on her shorts.

"You're right it isn't," Sid agreed. "But what is funny is that those are my boxers you just put on..."

Autumn huffed, yanked the item in question off and threw them at him.

"You know, your kind of sexy when you're flustered and freaked out," Sid told her, as he calmly got dressed while she rushed around the room looking for suitable clothes to climb into.

"And you're not helping matters by..." her words were abruptly cut off when he seized her by the wrist and pulled her into him for a steamy kiss.

"Mmmm...." her eyes were still closed as she gave a dreamy sigh. "I could definitely get used to this."

As in permanently, she thought.