And I Thought I Loved You Then

"Looks like you're down for the count, superstar."

From where he lounged on the couch in the dimly lit living room, his hands behind his head and his feet propped on the wooden coffee table in front of him, Sid cracked open his weary eyes and cast a glance towards the stairs. Giving a sleepy smile in response to Autumn's teasing as she descended the stairs, cordless phone in hand and her glasses perched upon her face. Clad in a pair of lavender coloured velour pants and a eggplant purple satin button down top, her hair had been pulled back and fashioned into a sloppy bun held together by plastic sticks; loose tendrils skimmed the sides of her smooth, pale face.

"It's past my bed time," Sid said with a grin, and closed his eyes once again. He distinctly heard the click of the lamp in the corner as Autumn switched if off, followed by the soft rustling of her clothes as she approached him. He felt one of her tiny hands rest on his shoulder as she bent down, the escaped pieces of her hair tumbling over him as she placed a feathery kiss on the corner of his lips. The delicate floral scent of her body lotion permeated his senses, and velour brushed against his thighs as she placed one leg over his, then another, before plopping down next to him on the sofa. He reached out blindly with his left hand, fingertips connecting with cool, luxurious satin as he wrapped his arm around her slender shoulders and drew her tight against him.

"He wore you out didn't he," Autumn stated, as she removed her glasses and set them on the coffee table.

Sid nodded. "He's definitely a handful," he said, and issued a loud yawn.

After their long talk over burgers and fries, he had taken Ryan for ice cream and then had indulged him in not one, but two rounds of miniature golf. Ryan had declared, upon spotting the local course on the way back home -he'd insisted on taking the long way back because mom and grandma never wanted to do anything but the short route- that mini putt was one of his most favourite things in the world. Sid had quickly learned why the kid enjoyed it so much. Ryan was a pro at it and both easily won the first round hands down, beating Sid by seven strokes, and had procured them both a free game after he'd sunk a hole in one on the eighteenth.

Afterwards, they'd played air hockey and skeet ball in the arcade room before devouring ice cream while sitting by the entertainment complex's central fountain. It had been then that Ryan had opened up about his father. Talking about how his dad had died when he was really, really, really little and that he'd never met him. But that mommy and grandma talked about him a lot and kept pictures in a book they would give him when he was older. He'd also lamented about hating how, when all the father/son events happened at school and summer camp, he didn't have a daddy to go camping and on field trips with him. And that the people in charge wouldn't let his mom take part instead.

It was obvious that the kid had emotional issues. Not only had he lived the bulk of his young life without a father and felt shunned by other kids because of it, he also felt alienated by the fact that he, in his own words, looked 'different than everyone else'. And while Sid had no plans on breaking the pinkie promise he'd made to Ryan - he'd handle David in his own way, and enlist a little help to do it- he was torn on whether or not to tell Autumn about Ryan's freak out in the sporting goods store. He didn't want her thinking that he, someone without kids of his own, was chastising her or questioning the way she was raising her son. Yet at the same time, he didn't want her, sometime in the future, coming to him after Ryan's behaviour became uncontrollable, furious that he'd never told her about what had happened.

"He talked constantly about all the fun you guys had the entire time I was tucking him in," Autumn's voice snapped Sid out of his reverie, and she laid her head against his chest and placed her hand on his stomach.

"Bet you he's still bragging about beating me at mini putt," Sid grumbled, resting his hand on her shoulder, his thumb softly stroking the underside of her chin.

"Twice," Autumn reminded him, and then laughed when he gave a dramatic sigh. "He's almost a mini version of you," she said. "I've read things about you on the net, you know. Quotes from your dad about how tenacious and competitive you are. And stubborn. I think you may have met your match in Ryan."

"Yeah?" he dropped a kiss on the top of her head, then gently removed her hair sticks and tossed them onto the coffee table with a clatter. "Here I was thinking I'd met my match in you as far as stubborn goes."

"I can be quite stubborn," Autumn admitted, as she tilted her head back to look at him.

"You can be," Sid agreed, and smiled down at her.

The moon’s rays streaming through the living room window provided the only light, and it caused her eyes to sparkle and bathed her pale, smooth face in an ethereal light. She was stunning in a normal, girl next-door kind of way. She was in no respects supermodel or Hollywood starlet material, but she possessed a natural beauty, both inside and out, that had captured him from the very moment he'd laid eyes on her.

"It's not nice to stare," Autumn informed him with a giggle.

"I wasn't staring," Sid told her, and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. "I was admiring."

"Stop it!" she cried, and gave an embarrassed laugh as she buried her face in the spot between his neck and his shoulder. "Don't talk like that!"

"Don't talk like what?" he chuckled. "I'm not allowed to admire you?"

"You are...it's just...don't talk about it when you do it!"

"Okay...let me get this straight..." he tugged playfully on a loose strand of her hair, encouraging her to raise her head to look at him. "I'm not allowed to compliment you but I'm allowed to say dirty, kinky shit to you in bed? You know, like when I'm asking you how you like certain things and you're telling me curl my fingers back so that they hit your..."

"Stop!" she pinched his stomach playfully and hid her face in his shoulder once again. "Jesus...don't do that...please don't talk like that...I mean, it's okay when we're doing things and we're right into it and we're...well we're enjoying it...but to talk about it like it's just a normal topic of conversation?"

"And you call me the virginal one," he grinned. "You know, you talk a good game when we're behind closed doors and you're all hot and bothered, but when we're just hanging out and stuff you go all innocent on me. Mind you, it is really cute when you go beat red and do that whole rambling thing."

"Are you finished?" she asked, her voice muffled against his shirt. "Are you finished embarrassing me?"

"Well I figure seein' as you do it to me all the time, maybe pay back is due."

"You're mean," Autumn declared.

"All's fair in love and war," Sid reasoned. "Seriously though...what it is with you and compliments? How come every time I say something nice about what you're wearing or how you look you get all nervous?"

"I'm just not good with compliments," she said. "I never have been. It embarrasses me when someone does it."

"Why?" he asked. "Why does it bother you?"

"I don't know..." she gave a shrug and sat up. "Does there have to be a reason why it bothers me? It can't just bother me for the sake of bothering me?"

"Everything has a reason behind it," Sid said. "Things just don't upset someone and there not be a reason why."

"Well maybe I just haven't discovered the reason yet," Autumn concluded. "All I know is that it bothers me when you do it. When anyone does it. I mean, I appreciate it and it makes me feel good about myself and all of that. But at the same time I just...it just freaks me out a bit. I guess 'cause I always wonder if someone is just saying things to be nice, or if they're saying them 'cause they actually mean them."

"It can be both, you know. Someone can compliment you because they are being nice and because they mean them," Sid told her.

She nodded, her eyes in her lap as she fidgeted with the hem on her nightshirt. "And which are you?" she asked, after a couple of minutes of silence. "Do you say them just to be nice or do you it because you're genuine?"

Sid frowned. "You actually feel like you have to ask me that?"

"I don't feel like I have to," she said. "It's just that...maybe I just want to hear you tell me yourself why you do it."

"Well..." he began, giving a sigh. "I guess I do it because to me you're the most amazing, beautiful woman on the entire planet and I want to tell you that as much as possible. Maybe you're incredibly intelligent and down to earth and sweet and I like telling you that, too."

She gave a small smile.

"And maybe I compliment because I just want to. Because I love you," he finished.

"But why?" she asked. "Why do you love me?"

"I need to have a reason?" he responded, tossing her earlier words back at her and laughing when she furrowed her brow, pulled away from him and slapped him in the stomach.

"For something like that you do!" she exclaimed, and "It's one thing not having a reason for why something embarrasses you, but if you don't have a reason for loving someone!"

"I've got lots of reasons," Sid told her.

"Which are...?” she pressed, staring at him pointedly.

"You know how it embarrasses you when I compliment you?" he asked. "Well maybe it embarrasses me to tell you my reasons. Maybe I'm not the type of guy that just busts out all these amazing, poetic and romantic things. Maybe I'm the type who worries that if I say them, you'll laugh at them and make me feel like shit for being so honest about things."

"I wouldn't do that," she said. "I'd never do that."

"I know...but it doesn't make me feel any less embarrassed to say them. I mean, I could probably write them down and give them to you and then hide away for a couple of days so I don't humiliate myself..."

"You'd write me a love note?" she asked, eyes sparkling hopefully. "Baby, that's so sweet. You'd really write me one?"

"Would you like me to write you one?" he retorted. "I can go home and write one and then mail it the next day. If that's the kind of thing you like. Or I could wait until I'm all the way over in Europe and buy some really nice card or something when I'm in Sweden and write you a love note in that and send it all the way overseas. That seems a little more romantic then mailing you something from the same city."

"I think that would be very, very romantic," Autumn concluded, and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Either that or I can send my reasons through an email," he said.

"Now that isn't romantic," she laughed.

"Not even just a little bit? You wouldn't want to wake up in the morning and find a love note in your inbox?"

"I wouldn't mind waking up in the morning and finding something else in my inbox," she declared with a laugh, and wrapping her arm around his neck, nuzzled the sensitive spot just below his ear with her nose. A victorious grin spreading across her face when she felt him shudder against her. "What time is it?" she asked, as her moist lips blazed a slow, sensuous path along the side of Sid's neck.

"It's..." he peered through the moonlight at the clock sitting on the mantel of the fireplace. "...almost nine thirty."

"And opening face off is at what time?" she inquired, as her teeth lightly grazed against his skin.

"Eight o'clock," he replied, his back arching as her lips, teeth and tongue hit every spot she knew would drive him insane.

"Shit...you mean we missed the cut off by an hour and a half?" she gave an exasperated sigh, but instead of backing away, chose to drape one leg over his thighs and settle herself in his lap.

"Autumn...come on...don't do this, okay?"

"Do what?" she asked innocently. "I'm not doing anything."

"You're sitting on my lap," Sid pointed out the obvious.

"There's no rule saying that I can't sit on your lap," she said. "Just like there's no rule against kissing you or playing with your hair. The rule is no sex twenty four hours before a game, right?"

"Right...but that means sex of any kind."

"And no one here is having sex," Autumn reasoned, as she combed her fingers through his curls. "Of any shape or form. I am simply sitting on your lap. That's it."

"For now," Sid said. "That's what you're doing for now. But I know you and I know what's going through your mind right now and none of it is good. I mean, it's good. It's just that it's not good at this point in time. Any other time it would be great and I'd be right on top of you...it...but right now..."

"Now you're the one that's rambling," Autumn said, and pressed a soft kiss at each corner of his mouth before using the tip of her tongue to trace his top lip.

He fought hard to suppress the shiver that travelled through his entire body, and failed miserably. "You know...maybe I should go before...."

"Before what?" she asked, pulling back to look at him. "Before you do anything that any normal red blooded male would? Any regular guy with a horny woman sitting on his lap trying to seduce him would have himself and her naked by now."

"I know. And trust me, there's nothing more I want to do then get you naked right now and throw you down on the couch and just say fuck the rules. But there are rules and they're in place for a reason. As much as they completely suck shit at this point in time..."

"See how everything changes when you get a girlfriend?" she inquired. "See how fast things would change? Before you met me you were probably already home and in bed, getting yourself all geared up for tomorrow night. And now...well now I'm a total distraction. I'm the evil, life sucking bitch that you're parents are so afraid of. That they've fought to keep you away from since the time you hit puberty. The distraction your dad was freaking out about earlier."

"What I do with my personal life isn't any of his business. And he isn't freaking out about us. He's just...concerned."

"Concerned that I'll be a distraction and you'll go from being all about hockey to being all about the booty. That you'll suddenly fail to show up for practices and games and not bother to work out anymore and then fall all to shit. And then he can come back and say, 'I told you so. I told you you didn't need a girlfriend. That you'd go from hero to zero in the blink of an eye'."

Sid frowned. "How'd we go from getting ready to not have sex to talking about my dad? 'Cause honestly, I'd rather be getting ready to not have sex than talk about him."

"You're the one who told me what he said," Autumn reminded him. "About how I'm this huge mistake waiting to happen and that I..."

Her words were abruptly cut off when she found herself, in the blink of an eye, dumped unceremoniously onto her back. "I thought you said we were getting ready to NOT have sex," she said with a giggle, as Sid covered her body with his own, his weight supported on his fully extended arms.

"I should have just kept my mouth shut about my dad," he lamented. "But seeing as you insist on this whole goddamn honesty, open book type of relationship..."

"You didn't have to tell me what he said about me," Autumn said, and curled her legs around his waist, crossing her ankles at the small of his back.

"Doesn't that just go right against the rule? Our 'honesty is the best policy' rule?" he teased.

"There's just way too many rules around here if you ask me," she gave a dramatic pout and raised her head to kiss him.

He pulled away, preventing her lips from coming in contact with his.

"Don't be so damn difficult!" she wailed. "Why are you being like this?"

"Because the whole sex thing is one rule I can't break."

"Then why the hell are you lying on top of me?" she inquired. "Why aren't you on your way home to take a cold shower?"

"I'm not the one with MY legs wrapped around YOUR waist," Sid pointed out.

"Okay...but you're only about eight inches taller than I am and eighty pounds heavier," Autumn said.. "You could get away if you wanted to."

A slow grin spread across his face.

"You're evil," Autumn laughed. "I don't want to be the reason if you play shitty tomorrow night."

"I promise you that if I completely suck, I won't let anyone in on why," he assured her, then kissed her softly. "I'll just tell them that I'm not feeling good or something. Besides," using his own hand to support all of his weight, he reached between them to lift the bottom of her nightshirt, his fingers finding the ties on her pants. "It's not like I'm actually going to go and actually break the rule."

"You just said that the rule was no sex and this certainly feels like we're getting ready to have sex," Autumn argued.

"Well, if you read between the lines, what the rule is really saying is that we can't get ourselves off twenty four hours before a game," he explained, feeling the goose bumps that assailed her flesh as his fingertips grazed against her stomach. "Ourselves," he stressed, then slipped his hand down the front of her bottoms. "No one said anything about not being able to get someone else off."

She bit her bottom lip and raised her eyebrows. "An unselfish man? Wow. I'm definitely living in some alternate universe at the moment."

"I could always stop while I'm ahead and just go home," he teased, his hand beating a retreat back up to her stomach.

"I think what you're doing is just fine," she declared, and slipped her own hand between their bodies to grab a hold of his and force it back down. "You know...unless you need some pointers or something."

"I'll think I'll be fine," he said with a grin, as she reached up to bury her fingers in his hair and he allowed her to pull him down into a steamy kiss. He felt her shiver against him and her body slightly tense, then relax again when the tip of one finger slid down her folds, then gently push its way in between.

"You are way too good at that," she gave a long, dreamy sigh, followed by a slight whimper as he stroked her sensitive clit with the tip of his fingers. Teasing it until she ached with need and her juices coated his fingers.

"I just have a good teacher," Sid said, his mouth on the side of her neck, licking, sucking and nipping gently on her pale skin.

He knew full well that he was going to walk out of that house in a half an hour a complete mess. Suffering in his own desperate want and need. And the thought of not being able to do anything about it...he pushed it out of his mind completely and concentrated on the task at hand. Losing himself in the moment; in the feel of her fingers tunnelled and twisted in his hair and her entire body trembling beneath him. Revelling in the way she responded so eagerly. Her legs opening instinctively for him, the soft moan she gave and the way her hips arched when he slipped two fingers deep inside of her. She wasn't going to last long. The evidence was in the noises she was trying so hard not to make and the way she grabbed desperately at his hair with one hand and at his shoulder with the other. He could hear her ragged breathing, feel her heart hammering in her chest, and the fluttering of her inner muscles when he caressed her clit once more with the pad of his thumb as his fingers continued to move inside of her told him that she was close. Real close. He scraped his teeth against the side of her neck before kissing a path to her ear, the tip of his tongue skimming the outer edge. and she tightened her grip on his hair and yanked him into a kiss.

"Please...." she begged. "I'm so close..."

She didn't have to plead or even ask. Sid knew exactly what she needed and wanted and how to give that to her. The last two days had taught him, at least in that respect, everything he needed to know in order to get the job down. And when he curled his fingers around to stimulate her g-spot -he'd honestly thought it was a myth, something women made up to boost a guy's ego, until he found out the night before just how wrong he'd actually been- and his thumb continued its ministrations on her slick and aching bud, she came quickly and powerfully. Her muscles spasming around him, her hips arching off of the couch and a scream nearly erupting from her mouth until he kissed her to muffle the sound. Her kegels contracted around his fingers over and over again, and he felt the vibrations of her whimpers against his lips as her orgasm continued to assail her. Then gradually it deceased. Her muscles stilled and released his fingers from their clutches and her hands slipped out of his hair and off of her shoulder as her arms and her legs relaxed, then collapsed onto the couch. Her breathing was ragged, her eyes still closed and her heart still thudding wildly when Sid finally removed his fingers from inside of her, and then his hand from her pants. Gently re-tying them as she fought to compose herself.

"You okay?" he whispered, and pressed a feathery kiss to her lips.

Opening her eyes, Autumn gave a dreamy smile and nodded.

"You're welcome," he said with a grin, then manoeuvred his body so that he was on his side, back against the rear of the couch, an arm draped over her.

She rolled over onto her side to face him, snuggling tight against him, and her face in his chest as he wrapped his arm around her. Securely and protectively. For what seemed like an eternity they lay there, listening to each other breathe, enjoying the warmth of each other's bodies, desperate to hold onto those last minutes of intimacy before the real world came crashing down. And when his eyes grew heavy and threatened to close, that was the sign that it was, unfortunately, the time to leave.

"I should go," he whispered, his hand stroking her back softly.

She nodded, then reluctantly drew away.

"At least you'll sleep good tonight after that," he teased, and she rolled her eyes and kissed him.

"I'll walk you out?" she offered, as his arm slipped off of her and she sat up.

"You don't have to."

"I want to," she said, then leaned down to kiss him again before she slid off of the couch. "I'm just going to go to the bathroom and...well...you know...clean myself up..."

He nodded, then watched as her she padded through the dark living room, heading towards the small bathroom off of the kitchen.

"You are just way too good at that," she said with long, content sigh.

He couldn't help but laugh.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Autumn shivered in the cool night air as they stood beside the driver's door of his Range Rover. Fall was making its rapid approach. There was a spectacular, brilliant harvest moon in the midnight black sky, and the leaves, rattling in the crisp breeze that tore through the trees, were beginning their yearly changes to vivid shades of orange, red and yellow.

"I'll give you a call when I get in?" Sid suggested, as they stood facing each other in the driveway, his hands resting on her slender hips. He was reluctant to leave. While living at Mario's was like having a second mother and father around and all of the Lemieux kids were like having a brood of noisy and rambunctious siblings, now that he'd found his own life, he was somewhat hesitant to walk away from it, even temporarily. He felt comfortable at Autumn's. And it was nice to have someone to not only wake up to in the morning, but to feel them moving against you during their sleep in the middle of the night. His loneliness had abated quickly and effortlessly the first night he'd spent there. And he was afraid of it returning just as fast.

She nodded. "Just so I know that you got home okay," she said.

"I'll have someone drop by all of that stuff tomorrow," he told her. "I don't know who it'll be. But someone will be here. Probably in the late afternoon."

She nodded. Then smiled. "You really should go before The Commander comes over here looking for you," she teased.

He sighed heavily, gave a nod of his own, and then leaned down to kiss her softly before drawing her into his arms. "I love you Autumn," he whispered, lips against her temple.

"I love you too," she said, her hands tightly gripping the sides of his t-shirt.

For several long minutes they stood in that exact position, enjoying that last moment of physical contact before he finally released his hold on her. "Before I forget," he said, as he fished his keys out of the pocket of his jeans and unlocked his door. "I bought you something while Ryan and I were at the mall."

"What is it?" she asked, as he popped open his door and climbed into the SUV and reaching into the back seat, emerged with a shopping bag. "The Bear Factory?" she asked curiously, eyeing the writing on the plastic.

"I just thought it would be cute," Sid replied with a shrug. "It was actually Ryan's idea," he added quickly, as she took the bag from his hands and eagerly and excitedly opened up.

She gave a laugh as she reached in and pulled out a stuffed animal. A penguin, to be exact. In a little Pittsburgh Penguins hockey jersey. "Ryan's idea?" she asked sceptically.

"Okay...so it was my idea," he admitted, a blush invading his cheeks.

"I love him," Autumn said, smiling down at the 'stuffie' in her hands before turning her gaze on Sid. "He's adorable. Thank you," she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him.

His hand came to rest on the back of her neck as he returned the kiss eagerly.

"I'll see you tomorrow night," she said, breaking the contact and stepping away. "I don't know what to say when it comes to sports," she told him, as she walked backwards across the grass. "I know break leg is for things like acting."

"Some of us guys are pretty suspicious like that," Sid said. "Ever since someone told Gary Roberts my second year here to break a leg and he did just that."

Autumn grimaced. "Well in case something like that ever happened...not that it will and I'm not wishing it on you...well let's just say I make a great nurse."

Sid grinned.

"I'd even go out and buy a nurse's costume. Two of them. One that's tame and cute and rated F for family and another that's rated S."

"Rated S?" he asked, as she mounted the front steps.

"Yeah...you know....slutty and smutty."

Sid laughed at that. "I bet you're really good at the sponge bath part," he teased.

She smiled and winked at him. "We can find that out even if you're perfect healthy."

His eyebrows shot up and he gave an embarrassed chuckle. "I should go."

She nodded. "Score me a goal tomorrow, okay? Actually, score me three. I'll bring along a hat to toss out on the ice. You'll know it's mine. It'll be a pink Yankees hat."

Sid frowned. "We really have to do something about your wardrobe," he declared.

She nodded in agreement, then raised a hand in farewell before turning towards the front door. Then paused and turned back towards him, just as he went to slip behind the wheel. "I guess this night isn't a total bust with you having to leave," she called out.

"Why's that?" he inquired.

She held up the stuffed animal in her hands. "At least there's one Penguin I get to share my bed with."

He smirked and shook his head.

She pressed two fingertips to her lips, then wiggled them in his direction.

"Goodnight baby," he called.

"Night," she returned with a smile, then turned and disappeared into the dark confines of the house.