Two Sides of the Same Story

I took off the cover to my coffee, letting the liquid cool. From my peripheral vision, I saw Zacky looking at me. Startled I looked at him. “What?” I asked. Really, I was just plain confused. Zacky shrugged.

“Observing beauty.”

I raised one of my eyebrows and scoffed. Beauty. Right.

“No really. You’re like a doe, full of grace and beauty, but beauty I can only observe from far. Because I know if I try to get close, you’ll run and the beauty will forever be lost. Then I’ll never even know… ” he voice trailed off.

“Then know what?” I asked. I was enchanted by his words; by the sorrow and the graveness of it all. Could those words have really come out of a playboy? No, he wasn’t a playboy. I looked into his eyes. Those green eyes that once held a devilish gleam that just practically said ‘I want you naked in a bed with me’. The ones that were now sad and filled with a need for…something…ah, I don’t understand.

“Um, never mind,” he said quickly and sipped his coffee. I shrugged and drank my own.

My eyes wandered to outside Starbucks where a little girl was hitting a boy older than her. He was holding a little doll in the air where she couldn’t reach it. Just then a man came and scolded the two. I smiled and turned to Zacky who was watching me curiously.

“That was my brother and I when we were younger. I remember once, back when cassettes were the thing, I was playing with some of his tapes and ended up ruining them. God, Rob got so pissed he took all my Barbie’s and beheaded them. I cried so much and hit him even more.” A wave of sadness hit me as I realized how much I missed my brother right now. I wished I had seen him before he left. I couldn’t help, but wonder when he would be home. If he would come home.

I felt the warmth of Zacky’s hand as he rested it lightly on top of my open palm. I looked at him startled. Before he could move his hand, I curled my fingers over his hand, squeezing it a little. His gesture lent me comfort and I didn’t want to lose it quite yet.

“C’mon, let’s head back to the bus,” Zacky said. I nodded and got up. We both walked out, leaving our half full cups.

As we left Starbuck’s, I realized it was already the evening. The sky was pinkish and damn, it was kind of cold. I shivered involuntarily and I felt an arm wrap around me. I looked at Zacky once again but he was looking forward. I tensed up for a while but soon gave in to that good feeling (did you know it? A kind of fuzzy, nice feeling. Kind of contented too) and wrapped my arm around Zacky’s torso and clung to him. I could smell his cologne and I rested my head against him as we both walked, making our way to the tour bus in a slow pace.

We reached the bus and pulled apart. I already felt his absence and missed it terribly. By now it was night. I looked up at Zacky and smiled. “You know, it was nice; today at Starbuck’s and everything.”

“Yeah and who would’ve think that a stalker was good company?” Zacky joked. I smiled. I saw him leaning down. He was going to kiss me I knew it. Instinctively, I closed my eyes. I felt his lips gently kiss my forehead. I opened my eyes, confused. What? “I can’t kiss you. Not all the while you think I’m some womanizer. Not while you might think you’re some random girl that I want to sleep with. You’re special to me, and you don’t know it. So, until you understand just how much I like you, I can’t—I refuse to hurt you.”

I stared at his back as he left me, and entered the bus.

“Zack man! Where were you?” I heard Matt’s loud voice from outside. I wanted go inside but I stayed under the stars for a while. I was confused, a little disappointed that Zacky didn’t kiss me and glad that he didn’t anyways.

God, I was screwed.