Just Smile, Please?

Once we stopped kissing I just looked at him for a bit. The defined cheek bones and pulsating green eyes were the most amazing thing I have ever seen. “Why are we in a hotel room? You have a house don't you?” I asked.

He smiled “Well, I’m not from around here. I am not always a rock star either. In my town no one knows that’s why for the entire summer I travelled and played my music. So know I do the thing I love most in the world and another that pays the bills.” Chase said. I frowned. I thought about how I would never see him again. A tear rolled down my cheek. God! Why did my life have to suck so much? “Oh don’t cry.” Chase said as he gently glided his hand across my face.

I put my hand on top of his. I felt safe and happy if he was touching me and I never wanted him to leave. I looked at him with worry and thoughtfulness, trying to send a message to him through my eyes. I love you. Please don’t leave me! I screamed it again and again in my mind which only made the realization hit me harder. My shoulders started to shake and the tears started falling like raindrops. Chase embraced me and I nuzzled my face into his neck and all I could think about was how I would never feel him close to me ever again. Soon my stomach stopped knotting and I met his eyes.

“I can’t believe that were never going to see each other again.” I said the tears almost coming back. Chase’s eyebrows furrowed.

“You’ll always be in my heart. For some reason I feel this pull to you. I’ve never felt like this about someone ever.” Chase said his eyes widening I think as the words passed through his mouth he realized how much of it was true and if he cared about me half as much as I care about him. He was scared. Scared to know he liked someone so much after knowing them for so little time. Truthfully so was I. I’ve never come close to liking someone so much in my life either.

“Chase. The truth is I don’t know what it is about you that makes me like you so much after knowing you for such little time, but I don’t want to lose you.” I said hugging him.

“Whitney,” Chase said his eyes dropping to the floor as he sighed, “my plane leaves tomorrow morning.” What!?! This can’t be happening. I’ve never felt so many emotions engulf my heart and mind before. Confusion spread across my face.

“Well, I guess this is goodbye.” I said picking up my clothes. He thought I was going to be a girl he could have sex with and just leave the next day. He thought I was a slut who slept with every guy. I gave up my virginity for him where as he didn’t even think of telling me he was leaving the next morning. I left his room and went to the lobby. I started to cry. Chase rushed over to me and held me. I shrugged him off. “Please, just leave me alone.” I said in the mist of crying. I got out my cell phone and called Mel. I walked outside.

“Whitney. You bitch! I can’t believe you left me. Y-“Mel said as I cut her off.

“Please just come pick me up. “ I said knowing there were traces of crying in my voice. I can’t believe I was so stupid. I can’t believe that he was such an asshole. I rubbed my fingers across my eyes whipping away tears and mascara mixed together. I probably looked like shit, though I wouldn’t care if I was broadcasted on the news. My heart was broken by someone I barely even knew though I cared oh so much about.

Mel’s voice softened. “Where are you?” she asked. I gulped and my voice was shaky.

“I’m on the corner of Maynard and Holloway Blvd.” I said, taking in gulps of air as I tried to stop myself from crying.

“I’ll be right there. “ Mel said. I turned around holding both of my arms trying to comfort myself. I saw Chase coming out the double doors. I turned around his face disgusted me.

“Please, don’t leave.” Chase said. I turned and looked at him appalled. After all he’s put me through he wants to have sex with me again!

“Let me make it up to you. What is the one thing you want to do? Name it and I’ll take you.” Chase said. I looked at his face and he looked guilty. I was so angry with him.

“I want to beat you to pieces.” I muttered. He can’t be serious. Does he use that line on every girl he sleeps with?

“How about instead of beating me up we have a picnic on the beach, or dinner at the finest restaurant. Anything you name it.” Chase said. I met the eyes that I woke up to. I held back a smile. I tried so hard to hold it back. Though, it spread across my face like a shooting star in the night sky. Damn it. He embraced me and again the feeling of safeness spread across my body. Then I remembered what he did. I shrugged him off.

“I am sorry I even met you. Now please just let me leave with the least bit of dignity I still have. I know I am just another girl in another town. I lost my virginity last night. All you cared about was getting pleasured. I don’t want to spend another waking second with you. Please just go.” I said tears building up. I looked at him one last time. The look of sadness crossed his face.

“I am sorry too, sorry I am such a jackass. I should’ve never allowed this to happen. I don’t know what you did to me Whitney but I’ve know you for a day and I think I might just be in love with you. “ Chase said. My heart did a flip. I turned around again and met his sorrowful eyes. Thinking he loves me he really loves me.

That’s when I mentally slapped myself. He probably uses that on every girl he sleeps with just to get them to shut the hell up. A frown spread across my face. “That is low even for you. To say you love me. What a load of bullshit. How many girls have you used that line on?” I said the words ricocheting off my tongue. He looked utterly confused. I loved him still all I wanted to do was kiss his face and make him smile but I couldn’t. I was hurt and I couldn’t let it happen again.

“I am sorry,” Chase said, “I know you probably think I had this speech written out to use on a lot of girls but I don’t. I have never felt this way about anyone and I barely even know you! Whitney I swear I never meant to hurt you I just wasn’t thinking and I let my heart work and not my head. I don’t want to hurt you anymore then I already have. So I’ll just go.” I heard his footsteps get farther and farther away. I wanted to turn around and scream I love you Chase Bowing but my heart and mind was so hurt the words wouldn’t come out. I shed one last tear over Chase and never again would I let myself get hurt this much. My heart felt like it crumbled and was on the floor in pieces and Chase stomped on them. I put him out of my mind. All I could think about was how much my heart hurt.

Mel’s car pulled up to the sidewalk. I got in and didn’t say a word not sure I could without bursting out with tears. “Do you want to talk about it?” Mel asked. I shook my head and faced forward watching the road. Mel sighed and started to drive. My heart would never ever be the same. Nor would my head wrap around the fact I will never see him again.