Harry Cotter and the Philosopher’s Brothel.
Ask Jeeves
“First year Wankers…Follow Me”
“Percington” Ron growled “My brother” he explained
“WANKERS! Follow Me”
Slowly, the first years began to follow the ginger haired boy who Harry assumed was a prefect. There was a large staircase which he led them up, everyone’s eyes gendering upwards at the moving steps high above.
“Stay with me, us wankers have a long walk; 7 flights, top floor save the towers”
Percington was silent the rest of the way up, until they reached the 7th floor when they passed onto a long corridor, where his stroll turned into more of a steady march, so fast that many of the children had to run just to keep up with the back of the group
“Watch our for Jeeves”
“Who?” someone chirped in, but was ignored.
“Hellooooo” what looked like Stephen Fry, but more ghostly and of a smaller build, appeared “I’m Jeeves, Would you like some tea, or a cane?”
“Don’t answer him”
“Yes! I would” Ron waved his hand; he loved to defy his brother
“Ronald…”
“Oh Goody”
Out of thin air, a tea set appeared and brown liquid was poured over the Goth, but the ghost paused, morphing the cups and mugs into a hose pipe, which he used to spray the rest of the first years.
“My RAMPANT RABBIT!”
“Oooo, Kinky” Jeeves smirked, pulling random walking canes and monocles out of no where, using them as javelins and Frisbees to hurl at the ‘small people’, while laughing hysterically as they ducked and squirmed
“Where’s the Bloody Banger?” Percington grimaced
“A sausage?” Harry laughed
“Jeeves is scared of meat”
“Vegetarian?” someone spoke up
“No…just scared of meat”
“Okay. That’s it” Percington growled “Everyone RUN!” He sprinted off, followed my many first years who resorted to screaming, rather loudly. Luckily, Jeeves didn’t follow and they were safe by the time they reached the door, nothing more than a portrait of a rather pornographic image of two people. The woman looked up, staring accusingly at the prefect
“Password?” she moaned
“Subtext”
“Accepted”
“Wow…Subtext, I’d of thought it’d be a rude name” Harry smiled
“Subtext is an anagram for Buttsex”
“Percington” Ron growled “My brother” he explained
“WANKERS! Follow Me”
Slowly, the first years began to follow the ginger haired boy who Harry assumed was a prefect. There was a large staircase which he led them up, everyone’s eyes gendering upwards at the moving steps high above.
“Stay with me, us wankers have a long walk; 7 flights, top floor save the towers”
Percington was silent the rest of the way up, until they reached the 7th floor when they passed onto a long corridor, where his stroll turned into more of a steady march, so fast that many of the children had to run just to keep up with the back of the group
“Watch our for Jeeves”
“Who?” someone chirped in, but was ignored.
“Hellooooo” what looked like Stephen Fry, but more ghostly and of a smaller build, appeared “I’m Jeeves, Would you like some tea, or a cane?”
“Don’t answer him”
“Yes! I would” Ron waved his hand; he loved to defy his brother
“Ronald…”
“Oh Goody”
Out of thin air, a tea set appeared and brown liquid was poured over the Goth, but the ghost paused, morphing the cups and mugs into a hose pipe, which he used to spray the rest of the first years.
“My RAMPANT RABBIT!”
“Oooo, Kinky” Jeeves smirked, pulling random walking canes and monocles out of no where, using them as javelins and Frisbees to hurl at the ‘small people’, while laughing hysterically as they ducked and squirmed
“Where’s the Bloody Banger?” Percington grimaced
“A sausage?” Harry laughed
“Jeeves is scared of meat”
“Vegetarian?” someone spoke up
“No…just scared of meat”
“Okay. That’s it” Percington growled “Everyone RUN!” He sprinted off, followed my many first years who resorted to screaming, rather loudly. Luckily, Jeeves didn’t follow and they were safe by the time they reached the door, nothing more than a portrait of a rather pornographic image of two people. The woman looked up, staring accusingly at the prefect
“Password?” she moaned
“Subtext”
“Accepted”
“Wow…Subtext, I’d of thought it’d be a rude name” Harry smiled
“Subtext is an anagram for Buttsex”