Harry Cotter and the Philosopher’s Brothel.
Tastes Like Chicken
Surprisingly, it was easy for a seat to be found in the vast great hall; most children chose to wander about the grounds, transforming whatever they could find into food, or merely sneaking out and buying it from passing trolls.
Harry and Ron glanced round the room, looking for Mi, but on seeing nothing decided she was probably back at the dorm ‘comforting’ herself, and began to tuck into the feast. The ginger goth began to explain to his companion what each of the food were, attempting to explain the concept of them all, but on the taste he always took a large bite before coming to the same conclusion:
“Tastes like chicken.”
“Even this,” Harry motioned to a carrot
“Nah, that tastes like beef.”
Filling their plates, they began to eat in silence, devouring the food in front of them as if it was to disappear, occasionally taking sips of a purple juice that reminded Harry of Ribena and mouth wash.
The dark purple lipstick which Ron had earlier applied began to fade in patches beneath the food, almost looking like he had some weird disease; no one chose to sit next to him. Although that may be because the Herpes story had escaped, along with the rat, which had been found by Geoff; who seemed to be visiting the nurse a lot after the encounter.
Generally the noise through the hall was pretty low key. Either you were eating or talking between eating, but there was no screaming or shouting as expected in an ordinary teenage cafeteria; but then again, Wartface wasn’t an ordinary school.
The atmosphere within the room was very calm and relaxing, except for the rather drastic interruption:
“TROLLEY.” The door at the end of the long hall burst open, “MAN EATING TROLLEY IN THE BASEMENT!” A tall man with a turban burst in, running the length of the room in between the middle tables:
“Professor Igeon, get a hold of yourself!” an unknown teacher to Harry and Ron, stood up from his small seat in the corner
“But…but…giant man eating…trolley.” And he fainted, no more than 2 seconds before the hall erupted in panic, except for Harry who smiled
“Trolley’s aint scary.”
“Maybe not in the fuggle world, but here they’ll rip out your eyes and shove them up their downstairs mixer.”
“What?”
“Never mind, Just run!”
Squashed between hundreds of terrified kids, they made their way out of the hall, catching their breath as more ran past them, all following the path way to their dorms, Ron began to take off after them:
“RON! We have to find Mi!”
“But, she could be anywhere”
“Y’know that girl she was with, I heard her talking, 1st floor bathroom, we have to get her to safety.”
“But…” Ron began to whine, but on seeing the puppy dog face that Harry created, he sighed, grabbing his friends hand and led them both away from the crowd and down the corridor to the bathroom; just hoping they could find Mi before the trolley did.
Harry and Ron glanced round the room, looking for Mi, but on seeing nothing decided she was probably back at the dorm ‘comforting’ herself, and began to tuck into the feast. The ginger goth began to explain to his companion what each of the food were, attempting to explain the concept of them all, but on the taste he always took a large bite before coming to the same conclusion:
“Tastes like chicken.”
“Even this,” Harry motioned to a carrot
“Nah, that tastes like beef.”
Filling their plates, they began to eat in silence, devouring the food in front of them as if it was to disappear, occasionally taking sips of a purple juice that reminded Harry of Ribena and mouth wash.
The dark purple lipstick which Ron had earlier applied began to fade in patches beneath the food, almost looking like he had some weird disease; no one chose to sit next to him. Although that may be because the Herpes story had escaped, along with the rat, which had been found by Geoff; who seemed to be visiting the nurse a lot after the encounter.
Generally the noise through the hall was pretty low key. Either you were eating or talking between eating, but there was no screaming or shouting as expected in an ordinary teenage cafeteria; but then again, Wartface wasn’t an ordinary school.
The atmosphere within the room was very calm and relaxing, except for the rather drastic interruption:
“TROLLEY.” The door at the end of the long hall burst open, “MAN EATING TROLLEY IN THE BASEMENT!” A tall man with a turban burst in, running the length of the room in between the middle tables:
“Professor Igeon, get a hold of yourself!” an unknown teacher to Harry and Ron, stood up from his small seat in the corner
“But…but…giant man eating…trolley.” And he fainted, no more than 2 seconds before the hall erupted in panic, except for Harry who smiled
“Trolley’s aint scary.”
“Maybe not in the fuggle world, but here they’ll rip out your eyes and shove them up their downstairs mixer.”
“What?”
“Never mind, Just run!”
Squashed between hundreds of terrified kids, they made their way out of the hall, catching their breath as more ran past them, all following the path way to their dorms, Ron began to take off after them:
“RON! We have to find Mi!”
“But, she could be anywhere”
“Y’know that girl she was with, I heard her talking, 1st floor bathroom, we have to get her to safety.”
“But…” Ron began to whine, but on seeing the puppy dog face that Harry created, he sighed, grabbing his friends hand and led them both away from the crowd and down the corridor to the bathroom; just hoping they could find Mi before the trolley did.