Harry Cotter and the Philosopher’s Brothel.
Ball Sack Trolley Attack
“Mi! Mi!” Ron was the first down the corridor, just ahead of Harry, both of them calling out to the girl. On the far wall they spotted the door to the toilet, sprinting faster to reach it in time. It began to open, but instead of Mi, Professor Flopdick emerged, arms full of video tapes:
“BOYS! What are you doing down here!?”
“Erm…sir…well…”
“What are you doing coming out of the girls toilet with those video tapes?”
“Very well, carry on.” The teacher scurried off to his office, locking the door.
A squeaky wheel behind them made them jump, slowly turning round to see an old rusty trolley squealing it’s way down the corridor towards them. Harry began to laugh hysterically:
“What the hell is so damn funny?” The goth hissed, glued to the spot
“It’s a trolley.”
“Harry…in the wizard word Trolleys are deadly.”
“How?” he tried to hide his laughter
“They squash you with the wheels and keep running over your flesh before they stuff you into the next man they see’s ball sack.”
“Ouch.”
“Happened to someone me dad knows, had to be neutered.”
“Then why are we stood here as it gets closer.”
“No fucking idea…” Ron’s swearing habit returned, “RUN!”
Both boths ran to the bathroom door, throwing it open the slamming it shut. They could see Mi stood by the sink, but they ran right past her, before daring back:
“Mi?”
“What the hell do you want?”
“BALLSACKTROLLEYATTACK!!!” Ron shouted as the door was burst down and the rusty frame emerged from the corridor. They all swore simultaneously, backing slowly away, each into a separate stall.
The trolley kept advancing, slowly stopping as it reached the stalls. There were 12 stalls on each side with a wide gap in between. A drain, encase of a flooding prank, was the centre point that each of these revolved round. At the end where the Trolley now waited there was a large sink, one fountain in the middle poured a continuous stream of water downwards.
“Guys,” Mi hissed “We have to get it’s wheels wet.”
“What?” they both whispered back
“It’s how to defeat a trolley, if we get over the fountain the wheels’ll get wet and we can get away when it’s glued to the spot.”
“How the hell do we get passed it?” Ron growled a little too loudly, causing the trolley to roll forward, stopping in front of the three stalls where they hid.
“Who’s nearest the sink?”
“Harry?”
“Well then, this is what we do…”
Counting to five, they chanted ‘Go!’ and on cue Ron burst open his cubicle door, jumping over the division into Mi’s in the process. The trolley shot forward, distracting himself just long enough for Harry to escape his cell and duck behind the fountain.
“Fuck,” he swore in style of Haggus, “What’s the damn spell? KNOCKUS DOWNUS!” He pointed his wand at the fountain but nothing happened, except the Trolley turned around, creaking towards Harry
“You complete and utter ignorant moron,” Mi shouted, “What the hell kind of spell is that?”
“Yeah, would be helpful to tell him the spell,” Ron suggested with a harsh tone
“Fuck you Ronald,” She glanced down at him from her footing on the back of the toilet, “The spell is…” she mouthed it as not to cast the spell herself and force the fountain down on the boy.
“FALLUS OVERUS!”
And it went down, not shattering, just ending up at a tilt, splashing water and freezing the trolley in place. Without a second thought for themselves or anything else, they legged it from the room, slamming the door shut behind them.
“Boys! Lady,” Professor Flopdick, Prof McG and a few other various teachers including Igeon and Snarp were stood there:
“What the hell were you doing…?”
“Well I went after the Trolley and they saved me.” Mi blushed, but finding this un-plausible the teachers delved further into the story, all 3 agreeing with the random rubbish the others came out with.
“Well…”Prof McG glanced over them, “5 house points each for you wankers, for sheer luck. Although Mi we may have to discuss your rampant adventures, going after dangerous Trolleys like that, they’re not baskets you know, mush.”
“Mush?”
“Get with the terms, Cotter!”
“BOYS! What are you doing down here!?”
“Erm…sir…well…”
“What are you doing coming out of the girls toilet with those video tapes?”
“Very well, carry on.” The teacher scurried off to his office, locking the door.
A squeaky wheel behind them made them jump, slowly turning round to see an old rusty trolley squealing it’s way down the corridor towards them. Harry began to laugh hysterically:
“What the hell is so damn funny?” The goth hissed, glued to the spot
“It’s a trolley.”
“Harry…in the wizard word Trolleys are deadly.”
“How?” he tried to hide his laughter
“They squash you with the wheels and keep running over your flesh before they stuff you into the next man they see’s ball sack.”
“Ouch.”
“Happened to someone me dad knows, had to be neutered.”
“Then why are we stood here as it gets closer.”
“No fucking idea…” Ron’s swearing habit returned, “RUN!”
Both boths ran to the bathroom door, throwing it open the slamming it shut. They could see Mi stood by the sink, but they ran right past her, before daring back:
“Mi?”
“What the hell do you want?”
“BALLSACKTROLLEYATTACK!!!” Ron shouted as the door was burst down and the rusty frame emerged from the corridor. They all swore simultaneously, backing slowly away, each into a separate stall.
The trolley kept advancing, slowly stopping as it reached the stalls. There were 12 stalls on each side with a wide gap in between. A drain, encase of a flooding prank, was the centre point that each of these revolved round. At the end where the Trolley now waited there was a large sink, one fountain in the middle poured a continuous stream of water downwards.
“Guys,” Mi hissed “We have to get it’s wheels wet.”
“What?” they both whispered back
“It’s how to defeat a trolley, if we get over the fountain the wheels’ll get wet and we can get away when it’s glued to the spot.”
“How the hell do we get passed it?” Ron growled a little too loudly, causing the trolley to roll forward, stopping in front of the three stalls where they hid.
“Who’s nearest the sink?”
“Harry?”
“Well then, this is what we do…”
Counting to five, they chanted ‘Go!’ and on cue Ron burst open his cubicle door, jumping over the division into Mi’s in the process. The trolley shot forward, distracting himself just long enough for Harry to escape his cell and duck behind the fountain.
“Fuck,” he swore in style of Haggus, “What’s the damn spell? KNOCKUS DOWNUS!” He pointed his wand at the fountain but nothing happened, except the Trolley turned around, creaking towards Harry
“You complete and utter ignorant moron,” Mi shouted, “What the hell kind of spell is that?”
“Yeah, would be helpful to tell him the spell,” Ron suggested with a harsh tone
“Fuck you Ronald,” She glanced down at him from her footing on the back of the toilet, “The spell is…” she mouthed it as not to cast the spell herself and force the fountain down on the boy.
“FALLUS OVERUS!”
And it went down, not shattering, just ending up at a tilt, splashing water and freezing the trolley in place. Without a second thought for themselves or anything else, they legged it from the room, slamming the door shut behind them.
“Boys! Lady,” Professor Flopdick, Prof McG and a few other various teachers including Igeon and Snarp were stood there:
“What the hell were you doing…?”
“Well I went after the Trolley and they saved me.” Mi blushed, but finding this un-plausible the teachers delved further into the story, all 3 agreeing with the random rubbish the others came out with.
“Well…”Prof McG glanced over them, “5 house points each for you wankers, for sheer luck. Although Mi we may have to discuss your rampant adventures, going after dangerous Trolleys like that, they’re not baskets you know, mush.”
“Mush?”
“Get with the terms, Cotter!”