Harry Cotter and the Philosopher’s Brothel.
The What?
“Yeah…I Know.” Harry and Ron didn’t enter Haggis’ hut, instead darting behind it as Ron attempted to transform a small pebble into some robes. From their location below the window, they could just hear Haggis on a item which appeared to be a turnip, but they assumed was a phone:
“Well the traps are all right…yeah…still there…anyway he has to get the key…yeah, suppose the mirror won’t work…if he reaches the porch he’ll be locked in…hardest brothel in the world to break into…yeah…’kay…bye.” The turnip was tossed aside, clattering enough so that the boys were unaware of Mi’s arrival. With a quick flick of her wand, Harry’s robe reappeared, and miming thank you he motioned towards the main entrance.
All three of them ran round the front, knocking on the door; both occupied by the thought of the brothel that had been mentioned.
“Haggis!” Ron called out
“Yer?”
“Hey Haggis.” Harry stepped in front of Ron, “Mind if we come in?”
“Ah, yer, sure ‘arry, who’s the emo?”
“GOTH!”
“Ah yer, whatever.” Haggis led them inside, “Can I get ya anything?”
“Yeah actually,” Ron growled, still annoyed for the emo comment, “What’s this ‘bout the Brothel?”
“How do you know about the Philosopher’s Brothel?”
“What?”
“What?”
“What?” Mi spoke for the first time, “You don’t mean…”
“No! I DON’T!” Haggis snapped, “Now, be gone, don’t make me set Molar on you!”
“Molar?” Ron sniggered
“GO!”
Pushing them out of the door, Haggis locked it, sighing; just what was he letting Harry into?
Mi began talking the second they’d heard the door bolt, thanking them for helping her with the Trolley incident, before beginning to waffle on about someone or other.
It had grown dark, rather quickly and only various students were still scattered about in the cold night. Over them, a snowy owl that resembled Bushwig circled, but none of them noticed, all they were focused on was the supper they were about to receive; lunch had been cut short and no one had had much food that day, especially with the kitchen staff refusing to make more.
The hall was bulging with people by the time they’d got there; about 7 seats were spare, 3 of them together. Diving on them, they found themselves sat opposite two of Ron’s older brothers, Fred and George and a third boy who they assumed, by the sticker on his forehead, called Dave.
“Boys…and whore,” he spoke, smiling at Mi, “Want to see a trick?”
“What sort of trick?”
“Well…I have can speak an ancient language…see Je suis un pomme, mean’s I’m awesome.”
“Wow! Really?” Ron looked rather interested
“Yeah, and no one here’ll understand you. Go your superior-ness.” Ron blushed, imaging how he could wind up Draco with it.
Fred and George smiled; they knew the first year jokes. Telling people to confess they’re apples was an old classic. George nudged Dave in the ribs, indicating for him to tell them another joke that would become more of a long running prank…
“Do you guys know how to prevent constipation?”
“Eat prunes?” Harry shrugged
“Fred! George! Didn’t you tell Ron?”
“No! They didn’t,” the goth growled
“Well, look, this,” he pulled a rampant rabbit out from beneath his robe, “needs to go up your ass, otherwise you’ll…well…explode.”
“No way in hell is that true!” Ron shook his head
“What else would Mi be doing with one?” Harry’s face showed genuine concern.
“We’ll buy 2!”
“Well the traps are all right…yeah…still there…anyway he has to get the key…yeah, suppose the mirror won’t work…if he reaches the porch he’ll be locked in…hardest brothel in the world to break into…yeah…’kay…bye.” The turnip was tossed aside, clattering enough so that the boys were unaware of Mi’s arrival. With a quick flick of her wand, Harry’s robe reappeared, and miming thank you he motioned towards the main entrance.
All three of them ran round the front, knocking on the door; both occupied by the thought of the brothel that had been mentioned.
“Haggis!” Ron called out
“Yer?”
“Hey Haggis.” Harry stepped in front of Ron, “Mind if we come in?”
“Ah, yer, sure ‘arry, who’s the emo?”
“GOTH!”
“Ah yer, whatever.” Haggis led them inside, “Can I get ya anything?”
“Yeah actually,” Ron growled, still annoyed for the emo comment, “What’s this ‘bout the Brothel?”
“How do you know about the Philosopher’s Brothel?”
“What?”
“What?”
“What?” Mi spoke for the first time, “You don’t mean…”
“No! I DON’T!” Haggis snapped, “Now, be gone, don’t make me set Molar on you!”
“Molar?” Ron sniggered
“GO!”
Pushing them out of the door, Haggis locked it, sighing; just what was he letting Harry into?
Mi began talking the second they’d heard the door bolt, thanking them for helping her with the Trolley incident, before beginning to waffle on about someone or other.
It had grown dark, rather quickly and only various students were still scattered about in the cold night. Over them, a snowy owl that resembled Bushwig circled, but none of them noticed, all they were focused on was the supper they were about to receive; lunch had been cut short and no one had had much food that day, especially with the kitchen staff refusing to make more.
The hall was bulging with people by the time they’d got there; about 7 seats were spare, 3 of them together. Diving on them, they found themselves sat opposite two of Ron’s older brothers, Fred and George and a third boy who they assumed, by the sticker on his forehead, called Dave.
“Boys…and whore,” he spoke, smiling at Mi, “Want to see a trick?”
“What sort of trick?”
“Well…I have can speak an ancient language…see Je suis un pomme, mean’s I’m awesome.”
“Wow! Really?” Ron looked rather interested
“Yeah, and no one here’ll understand you. Go your superior-ness.” Ron blushed, imaging how he could wind up Draco with it.
Fred and George smiled; they knew the first year jokes. Telling people to confess they’re apples was an old classic. George nudged Dave in the ribs, indicating for him to tell them another joke that would become more of a long running prank…
“Do you guys know how to prevent constipation?”
“Eat prunes?” Harry shrugged
“Fred! George! Didn’t you tell Ron?”
“No! They didn’t,” the goth growled
“Well, look, this,” he pulled a rampant rabbit out from beneath his robe, “needs to go up your ass, otherwise you’ll…well…explode.”
“No way in hell is that true!” Ron shook his head
“What else would Mi be doing with one?” Harry’s face showed genuine concern.
“We’ll buy 2!”