Harry Cotter and the Philosopher’s Brothel.
Photoshopped Pornography
The rest of Christmas flew by; literally. Harry had been practicing Figbitch on an old second hand broom Wood had leant him; also living in the Fuggle world, the captain didn’t get a chance to practice during the holiday period, instead he had to spend it with his parents, cousins and for some reason a tramp named Barry Trotter.
Mi returned early after a fight with her grandmother over who was better, ‘Britney Spears’ or ‘Doris Day’. Whoever won, both were in tears and both stormed out of the house, with her grandmother sadly being hit by a forklift truck which someone magically had placed there.
She burst into the dorm, tossing presents to the boys she had unwilling chosen as her two best friends.
“Thanks,” Harry beamed, still not used to receiving presents, while Ron sort of shrugged, ripping apart the paper:
“Tea Cosies?”
“No silly,” she smiled and giggled, “They’re cool new hats.” Picking one up, she put it over Ron’s head, ginger hairs sticking out from the woollen mesh that now covered his skull.
“Thanks?”
“You’re welcome.” She blissfully didn’t detect the slight resentment within his tone, “Had a good holiday?”
“It was…interesting…”
“Ooooo, tell me everything!”
Harry and Ron told the story of the past week. The fights, the scraps and the photos, motioning to several photos which had been hidden under seats. She stared for a bit, then started giggling.
“Funny aint it?”
“Yeah, the photoshopped version is, that’s on the posters downstairs.”
“What?”
“Apparently someone glued some heads onto his body, turning them into…”
“Us?” Harry gulped
“Yep.” She began to laugh hysterically, “and they shrunk the cocks too, and made it into scenes from pornos.”
She rummaged about in her bag, pulling a few out of a small enveloped with ‘Sorry about the Crabs – Crabs’, written upon the back. Four photos were pulled out, unnoticeably photo-shopped to show the boys in some suggestive photos with both each other, Bumblebore, Snarp and at one point a rather bemused looking fox. Herpes also featured in some of the shots, like Mi’s personal favourite where a blowjob was being given to Harry by said rat, while Ron sucked on Herpes tail…there was no sense within anything, yet it was amusing enough to cause Mi to choke on air.
“Mi. please pass me my hat.” She passed the hat to Harry who immediately pulled it down to cover his face, trying both to hide the deep red he’d become and the swearing he muttered.
The truth was they didn’t know the worst; Bumblebore had copies, rather enjoying the one he starred in, getting it enlarged and framing it outside his office entrance and there it would remain for many years to come…
Mi returned early after a fight with her grandmother over who was better, ‘Britney Spears’ or ‘Doris Day’. Whoever won, both were in tears and both stormed out of the house, with her grandmother sadly being hit by a forklift truck which someone magically had placed there.
She burst into the dorm, tossing presents to the boys she had unwilling chosen as her two best friends.
“Thanks,” Harry beamed, still not used to receiving presents, while Ron sort of shrugged, ripping apart the paper:
“Tea Cosies?”
“No silly,” she smiled and giggled, “They’re cool new hats.” Picking one up, she put it over Ron’s head, ginger hairs sticking out from the woollen mesh that now covered his skull.
“Thanks?”
“You’re welcome.” She blissfully didn’t detect the slight resentment within his tone, “Had a good holiday?”
“It was…interesting…”
“Ooooo, tell me everything!”
Harry and Ron told the story of the past week. The fights, the scraps and the photos, motioning to several photos which had been hidden under seats. She stared for a bit, then started giggling.
“Funny aint it?”
“Yeah, the photoshopped version is, that’s on the posters downstairs.”
“What?”
“Apparently someone glued some heads onto his body, turning them into…”
“Us?” Harry gulped
“Yep.” She began to laugh hysterically, “and they shrunk the cocks too, and made it into scenes from pornos.”
She rummaged about in her bag, pulling a few out of a small enveloped with ‘Sorry about the Crabs – Crabs’, written upon the back. Four photos were pulled out, unnoticeably photo-shopped to show the boys in some suggestive photos with both each other, Bumblebore, Snarp and at one point a rather bemused looking fox. Herpes also featured in some of the shots, like Mi’s personal favourite where a blowjob was being given to Harry by said rat, while Ron sucked on Herpes tail…there was no sense within anything, yet it was amusing enough to cause Mi to choke on air.
“Mi. please pass me my hat.” She passed the hat to Harry who immediately pulled it down to cover his face, trying both to hide the deep red he’d become and the swearing he muttered.
The truth was they didn’t know the worst; Bumblebore had copies, rather enjoying the one he starred in, getting it enlarged and framing it outside his office entrance and there it would remain for many years to come…