Harry Cotter and the Philosopher’s Brothel.
Defence Against The Dark Arts
Lessons had resumed to normal by the 19th January and first for the boys was with Professor Igeon Defence against the dark arts.
“Today’s lesson. Duck n’ cover.”
“What?” Draco in the back of the glass spat, “if someone attacks us we hide?”
“Well duuuuuuuuuuur.”
“But…but…”
“No buts,”
“Hey, I thought you had a stutter…” Ron commented,
“I d..d…d…doo” he replied, avoiding all eye contact, “But look, if Dangermouse attacks you, we wouldn’t want you fighting back and making you all mad,” he looked around, his stutter once again disappearing, “we would rather you did nothing and have it that way.”
“Why, he won’t spare us?”
“The noble lord will save the noble.” Someone whispered. The turban on the back of Igeon’s head twitched slightly, almost unnoticed.
As the art of hiding under tables was put to practice, Draco snuck into the cupboard to ‘hide from the crap lesson’.
Other techniques introduced were the ‘perfect foetal position’, demonstrated by a small rapist who was just trying to hide from the teacher who looked fit to explode at any second, like even the slightest ‘Boo’ could cause him to have a heart attack. Also the begging movement was attempted, in which each student begged for their life.
Draco did get involved with the practice of begging, hoping to stay within the cupboard, but he was soon thrown out of it, having to demonstrate the “People will be nicer if you’re naked,” theory, which rather backfired as people began to toss whatever they could at him, in the hope of neutering…or at least causing him pain; no one really liked the rapist, although a line had been drawn on transforming a pencil into a hungry sausage craving dog…
*****
Sorry for the lack of updates, I’ve been ill recently and too messed up to write anything. And apologises also for it being so short, I’m still rather ill.
“Today’s lesson. Duck n’ cover.”
“What?” Draco in the back of the glass spat, “if someone attacks us we hide?”
“Well duuuuuuuuuuur.”
“But…but…”
“No buts,”
“Hey, I thought you had a stutter…” Ron commented,
“I d..d…d…doo” he replied, avoiding all eye contact, “But look, if Dangermouse attacks you, we wouldn’t want you fighting back and making you all mad,” he looked around, his stutter once again disappearing, “we would rather you did nothing and have it that way.”
“Why, he won’t spare us?”
“The noble lord will save the noble.” Someone whispered. The turban on the back of Igeon’s head twitched slightly, almost unnoticed.
As the art of hiding under tables was put to practice, Draco snuck into the cupboard to ‘hide from the crap lesson’.
Other techniques introduced were the ‘perfect foetal position’, demonstrated by a small rapist who was just trying to hide from the teacher who looked fit to explode at any second, like even the slightest ‘Boo’ could cause him to have a heart attack. Also the begging movement was attempted, in which each student begged for their life.
Draco did get involved with the practice of begging, hoping to stay within the cupboard, but he was soon thrown out of it, having to demonstrate the “People will be nicer if you’re naked,” theory, which rather backfired as people began to toss whatever they could at him, in the hope of neutering…or at least causing him pain; no one really liked the rapist, although a line had been drawn on transforming a pencil into a hungry sausage craving dog…
*****
Sorry for the lack of updates, I’ve been ill recently and too messed up to write anything. And apologises also for it being so short, I’m still rather ill.