I'll Wait Here for You in My Time of Dying

Matt had been living in my house now for nearly two months and I noticed that he was a man to live by a schedule. Or at least a morning and evening schedule.

When he woke up, he would pull on some shorts, a T-shirt and some running shoes before disappearing. When he came back he’d be slightly out of breath and covered in a light sheen of sweat, his T-shirt usually now hanging from the back of his shorts. Then he’d down a bottle of water, go upstairs and have a shower before re-emerging not ten minutes later fully dressed for the day. He then makes himself breakfast.

When he goes to bed, he lifts weights for a bit first and then strips down to his boxers before climbing into bed. His evening routine wasn’t quite as long as his morning one but it was still a routine.

Anything that happened in between didn’t matter. Matt just liked to start and end his days the same way, regardless of what time he woke up or what time he rolled in. The only time I didn’t see him take part in this routine was the night he came home completely trashed...and the following morning when even I could tell that he was in no fit state to go for a run.

His hangover routine was quite funny. He’d spend a good half an hour in the shower before pulling on his clothes and coming downstairs where he’d grab himself a mug of coffee and then just flop down in front of the TV until he started to feel a bit more human again.

Something else that happened were people coming over frequently. I overheard some of them talking among themselves, saying how they were worried about Matt because he didn’t seem to be up for meeting anyone new and I guessed from that that maybe the reason behind his moving and their concern was due to him having his heartbroken.

After two months I discovered the names of each of the people who came round and even found out what they were to him. There were the guys I’d seen when he moved in, Zacky, Brian, Johnny, Jimmy, Jason and Mattie. They were Matt’s band mates, except the twins who were close friends and helped the band when they were on the road. This was when I realised why I recognised him. Their band was Avenged Sevenfold, a band that I had loved in life.

Then there were the girls. There were Matt’s twin baby sisters, Sarah and Lyndsey, who were also with Jason and Brian respectively. Then there was Raychel, Zacky’s wife, Rhian, Jimmy’s wife and Niki who had only recently gotten together with Mattie. From what I could gather, Johnny was single.

These eleven made up Matt’s family away from his family. I could even see how much he viewed his sisters as more than just his baby sister’s. This was the family he had picked and each and every one of them meant the world to him. But I could still see something was missing for him. Something to do with the possible heartbreak he’d endured...it would make sense. If he had been with someone for a while and they had just left, then something would be missing.

Matt’s seeming sensitivity towards me also seemed to heighten. He’d walked through me quite a few times in the last two months and each time goose bumps erupted across his skin. He often looked over to where I was before his brow furrowed and he shook his head, muttering to himself about how he was going crazy.

I wanted to tell him he wasn’t...but making myself more known to him probably wouldn’t help. I didn’t even know if I could make myself more known to him.

Matt’s P.O.V

“Sarah is worried about you,” Lyndsey stated bluntly as she waltzed into my house and went straight into the kitchen.

I cocked an eyebrow and pushed myself to my feet, going into my kitchen where I saw Lyndsey was bent double as she rooted about in my fridge.

“Help yourself Lyndsey, please...eat all my food.”

Lyndsey grinned at me over my shoulder before straightening up and nudging the fridge door shut with her hip.

“Don’t mind if I do,” she sang as she put the food down that she was holding.

I rolled my eyes and leant against the doorframe as I watched one of my baby sister’s work away at making herself a sandwich. Then my mind went to what Lyndsey had said when she’d walked in.

“Sarah’s worried about me?”

Lyndsey nodded silently and finished putting the two sandwiches together she’d made before putting one on a plate and sliding it towards me. I smiled in thanks and took it from her, waiting for her to answer me.

“We all are to be fair,” Lyndsey sighed as she looked at me, putting her own sandwich on a plate as she let her eyes flicker across my face.

“Why?” I asked after I’d swallowed my bite.

Lyndsey scoffed a little and started to put things back in the fridge.

“Gee, I don’t know. Maybe because you refuse point blank to meet anyone new? That when we do manage to get you out of the house you become a recluse and just retreat into yourself? That when you come and visit us you are really distant? Or maybe it’s the fact that when we come and visit you, that you’re attention always flickers over to something that isn’t there?” Lyndsey listed off as she nudged the fridge door shut again. “Matt, I love you. You’re my big brother and one of my best friends so I feel comfortable enough to say this.”

“Say what?”

“You’ve gone freaking crazy!” She shrieked, flapping her hands about above her head before dropping them down on the counter top.

I cocked an eyebrow and smiled a little. Really? She was the one calling me crazy? Lyndsey rolled her eyes and flipped me off, knowing exactly what I was thinking after her outburst.

“Matt, we really are worried,” she voiced quietly. “I hate her for doing this to you but I hate you for letting her.”

My gaze flickered to her, a small taint of anger welling up in my gaze. Lyndsey chewed her lip as she waited for my response to what she had said. I shook my head and slammed my plate down on the counter top before stalking out the back door.

“Matt, stop it,” Lyndsey hissed. “Stop having a tantrum. You’re not a toddler anymore. You’re twenty-eight, start acting like it.”

I whirled around and looked at Lyndsey in disbelief. “You tell me that you hate me and you don’t think I deserve to have a little bit of a fucking tantrum?”

Lyndsey crossed her arms over her chest and just stared at me, waiting for me to get over the small impulse of anger that was burning through me. I looked away from her and leant against one of the rails that went around the porch.

“I don’t hate you...I hate the part of you that just let yourself get defeated,” she mentioned a moment or two later. “You were always so strong Matt. What happened?”

I shrugged and ran my hand through my hair. “She did.”

Lyndsey walked over to me and leant beside me, wrapping her hands around one of my arms as she looked up at me.

“I’m not saying that you should be over what had happened. You have every right to still be hurting but...what you’re doing isn’t helping,” Lyndsey told me. “The Matt we all used to know, would have got back up. I know that it was a huge blow to you but...you need to at least try and move on.”

I didn’t say anything to that. Moving on wasn’t as easy as Lyndsey made it sound.

Lyndsey sighed and patted my arm before leaning up and pressing her lips to my cheek.

“I just want you to be happy again,” she whispered before walking back into my house.

I watched through the glass door as she picked up the sandwich she’d made herself before disappearing from a view. A moment later and I heard the front door shut. I sighed and pushed myself up to walk back into the house but I stopped mid-step upon noticing the plate still on the side move...with no one around it.