I'll Wait Here for You in My Time of Dying

Lesia’s P.O.V

With Matt out of the house, I simply floated through every so often moving things and then moving them back to where they’d been. I didn’t have anything to do, obviously. Being dead kind of limits hobbies and past times. Unfortunately it does leave me with quite a few hours to think.

In life my friends always said that I over thought everything. Causing things to plague me for hours on end, even the tiniest of things could keep me awake for hours. I’d toss and turn until I’d eventually have to get up in order to check whatever was on my mind. It used to bug my fiancé to no end, but he also used to say that it was one of the many things that he loved about me. Which did, admittedly, in turn make me think he was a little bit crazy.

Things hadn’t really changed with my death. I still over thought things but these things didn’t seem so little anymore. I didn’t care if a light had stayed on...or if the milk was out of date in the fridge because none of these things had an effect on me or on anyone I cared for. Now my thoughts were a bit more serious.

Mostly about why I was still here? Why after three years I was still stuck in this world when I would have thought I should be in another one? But then sometimes I wonder if this is it. If the world is both life and afterlife. I’d never tried to leave the house before, so maybe out there are more ghosts like me. But then again, maybe not. Maybe that whole thing of ‘unfinished business’ is true. Not that I could think of anything ‘unfinished’ for me.

Another thought that had been plaguing me of late, especially today, was Matt. He’d often seemed like he’d seen me, sensed me and on occasion even seen me move something and it made me wonder if he’d ever be able to see me. Actually be able to see me like I was corporeal. Like he could reach out and touch me without his hand going through and without either of us getting that weird feeling like before.

But would I want him to be able to see me? Surely it would raise a load of questions I didn’t know the answer to, like for instance why I’m still here. As much as I’d wondered these kinds of things, I wasn’t sure if I actually wanted to face them.

I looked up from where I was sitting on the stairs and watched as the front door opened and Matt walked in. I bit my lip and slowly rose to my feet as he went into the living room, his eyebrows shooting up slightly when he noticed the coffee table had moved by a good two feet to the left. And here was me thinking I’d remembered to move everything back.

“I feel fucking crazy doing this but my sister thinks it’s a good idea,” Matt started, his hand coming up and scratching the back of his neck as he stood in the living room. “So here I am, standing in the middle of my living room and talking to something that I can’t even see at the moment. I don’t even know if you can hear me or not. I’m guessing you can see me if you can see my furniture to move.”

At this point Matt looked pointedly at his coffee table before nudging it back to where it had originally been. I felt my cheeks flush bright red and slowly began to walk into the living room.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to see you, if it’s possible for you to make yourself seen but I just...God, I feel completely out of my depth here. Ghosts and shit...that’s not me, that’s not what I believe in. If it was Sarah spouting all this crap...” Matt trailed off and huffed out a laugh before shaking his head. “All I want is for you to make yourself known in some way. Just so I know I’m not going completely crazy. That it’s not me finally losing what little shred of sanity I had left.”

Of course, it would be quite nice for Matt to be able to see me. Three years is a long time to go without any kind of contact from anyone. I mean would it be so bad if I had someone to talk to? Would it be so bad if...?

“Holy mother of...”

I looked over at Matt as he said this, my brow furrowed a little before my eyes widened when I realised his stare was intently on me. And to be completely clichéd for a moment, Matt looked liked he’d seen a ghost.

“Oh my God,” I gasped and Matt’s eyes only widened further.

“Fuck,” he muttered.

“Can you...you can hear me?” I choked out. “You can see me?”

Matt nodded jerkily, his colour slowly running back into his skin. We both stood there in absolute silence, both just staring at one another. I had no clue what to do now, seeing as this had never happened to me before and I could only presume that Matt had never encountered a ghost before. This was new territory for the both of us and I have a feeling we were both still reeling from shock slightly. Or at least I was.

“So...you move my furniture for a reason?” Matt asked, an amused smile on his lips.

My eyebrows shot up. “That is the first question you ask me? Seriously?”

Matt shrugged and chuckled. “I’d ask how you are but...I’m guessing you’re dead.”

I nodded slowly, not really understanding what was happening. Why wasn’t he running? Why wasn’t he more scared? I mean come on, I know he’s a big buff bloke and everything but I’m dead. People are usually scared of dead things. Not just shocked for a few moments and then bounce back from it.

“Okay, so no. I’m sorry but no,” I decided and shook my head. “You’re not allowed to be this calm about things. I mean, I’m freaking out here. I’m dead...but you...you’re just standing there and talking to me like I’m...like I’m...well like I’m alive. What the hell is wrong with you?”

Matt’s eyebrows rose in amusement as I ranted away, his arms crossing over his chest as he watched me.

“I mean...no one has ever seen me before. Hell, no one usually even realises I’m here. They usually just feel really cold spots in the house and get pissed off so they move. Or they do notice things move on their own accord and so they move out but they have never seen me. I don’t even know what to...and you’re laughing!” I exclaimed, throwing my hands in the air as I realised that Matt was, indeed, laughing quietly. “I am dead and you can see me and you’re finding the whole thing absolutely fucking hilarious. Great! You are a nutcase.”

“I’m sorry but come on,” Matt pointed out. “You’re right. You’d think I’d be more freaked out but I’m not. I can’t tell you why I’m not, I’m just not. It is what it is. And the reason I’m laughing is because it’s quite funny watching you freak out...and I’m not a nutcase.”

I scoffed a little. “You were the one standing in the middle of your living room potentially talking to yourself.”

Matt playfully glared at me before laughing slightly. “At least I know I wasn’t going completely insane.”

“Yeah, not completely,” I muttered as I moved further into the living room and watched as Matt flopped down on the couch.

Matt eyed me expectantly as if he was waiting for me to do some kind of trick.

“What?”

Matt shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m just curious, I guess.”

The side of my mouth twitched into half a smile and I nodded.

“Fair enough,” I replied and shoved my hands into the front pockets of my jeans. “I’m a little curious myself.”

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“What’s it like?”

“What’s what like?” I asked, now sitting beside Matt on the couch.

“Being dead,” he replied bluntly.

I didn’t have to even think before I answered, my one worded answer tumbling from my lips as easy as breath would have fallen three years ago.

“Lonely.”

Matt’s brow knitted together as he moved his body so he was turned to me a little more.

“What do you mean?”

I looked at him for a second before shrugging. “I’ve been dead for three years Matt and you’re the only person to ever have seen me or be able to talk to me. It’s lonely and it’s confusing. Dying was the easy part out of all of this.”

I could tell that Matt wanted to ask what I meant again but I didn’t really want to talk about it. I shook my head as Matt opened his mouth to say something and for that moment wanted nothing more than to disappear, for Matt not to be able to see me.

“Wait! Where’d you go?”

I looked at Matt, my brow furrowed as I watched his gaze flicker over where I was and then around the room. I then realised that within my wishing to disappear, I had.

Matt’s P.O.V

I sighed when I realised that Lesia had disappeared. I had a feeling that I’d crossed the line, which was fair enough. I guess the whole death thing is pretty personal. It would be like me going up to someone I’d just met and expecting them to tell me all their secrets they kept close to their heart. I wouldn’t do that, so why was I presuming Lesia would talk about her...well afterlife I suppose?

I ran my hand down my face before letting my gaze flick over to the clock above the fireplace. It was almost one in the morning and I was beginning to feel it. I rose to my feet and walked through to the kitchen. I grabbed up some paper that had been left out and picked up a pen before scribbling a quick note down for Lesia. I didn’t know if she’d read it or not but I needed to say sorry for prying.

Once done, I went upstairs not bothering with lifting weights tonight. All I wanted was my bed for now. I walked into the bathroom and did my business in there before going through to my bedroom. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket so I fished it out and threw it to my bed, knowing it was just a text. I stripped down to my boxers and threw my clothes to the floor before climbing into my bed and grabbing up my phone once more.

So...any ghosts? = ) Sarah x

I rolled my eyes and quickly text back.

Wouldn’t you like to know? Matt x

I put my phone down and realised that I hadn’t locked up downstairs so I decided to do that quickly.

Lesia’s P.O.V

I watched Matt scribble something down on the paper before he went upstairs. The way he was moving I could tell he was tired and it didn’t surprise me when he bypassed his weight room and went straight for the bathroom and then to his bedroom.

Being the nosy person I am, I went into the kitchen and looked at what he’d written assuming it was going to be a shopping list or something. But instead I was surprised. I felt a small smile fall across my lips as I read what was on the paper.

Lesia, I’m sorry for asking something so personal. I just let my curiosity get the better of me. Please don’t disappear on me completely. As strange as it may seem, I’d like to get to know you. Matt.

I wasn’t entirely sure why he’d signed his name, it’s not like it was going to be from anyone else but it still meant something that he was apologising even though really I shouldn’t have taken what he’d asked to heart. It was only natural for Matt to be this curious about me. I mean, I was curious about me too.

I chewed my lip and willed myself to be able to pick things up. I smiled as my fingers grasped around the pencil and I quickly wrote Matt a reply before dropping the pen down as I heard him come back downstairs.

Matt’s P.O.V

I looked to the kitchen as I heard something and watched the pen fall to the counter top. I smiled to myself and went ahead to lock up before I moved to the kitchen to see what she’d written.

Matt, as strange as it may seem, I’d like to get to know you...even if you are a nutcase =P Have a good sleep. Lesia.

I chuckled and shook my head before reaching for the light switch so I could turn the kitchen light off. I went back to go upstairs and paused at the bottom of the stairs, my hand on the railing as I looked up to the ceiling before smiling to myself as I began to walk up the stairs.

“Goodnight Lesia,” I called out.

I wasn’t really expecting an actual answer but I couldn’t help but smile as I heard a quiet ‘night Matt’. I went back into my room and turned off the light, climbing back into bed and looking at my phone as the screen lit up.

I would like to know. Sarah x

I chuckled and ignored her text, knowing that Sarah would probably be around tomorrow to bug me about things. But for now, I just wanted some sleep.