Butterflies

It had been a strange and silent week, to say the least. I hadn't heard from Michael since they day he'd bought me my house. I was beginning to worry about him. He hadn't called, and he wasn't answering my calls. Thoughts of why plagued my mind and wouldn't let me rest at night. Which is why I made the decision that led me to do what I'm doing today. I'm going to go to his house, see what's up. It's about time he speaks to me anyway. He was supposed to be giving me the key to my house tomorrow after he finished having it furnished all this week. I'd made up my mind.

I checked myself in the mirror and decided I looked okay. After thinking about it, I made a face. I was going to see Michael. I need to look more than just 'okay.' After rummaging through my closet for just a little while longer, I'd settled on something that was casual for a summer's day, but cute enough for Michael. I wanted to slap myself for wanting to impress Michael. It never used to be like this. I used to be able to feel comfortable in anything around him. But since I've grown these feelings for him, that's changed. I guess maybe I think if I dress just the right way, he'll want me back. I sighed and shrugged at my reflection, knowing the chances of that were nearly zero to none.

I made my way down the long stairway and walked through to the kitchen.

"Why are you up so early?" Freesia looked at me from her eggs and bacon. I looked at her a little dumb struck.

"Freez, it's ten thirty, that's not early." She snorted.

"Is for me. Where you goin' anyway?" I set my glance of chocolate milk down on the counter after taking a drink before responding.

"What makes you think I'm going somewhere?"

"Because you're dressed. You usually lounge in your pajamas until noon." I shrugged. "And you're not just dressed, you're dressed up." I raised an eyebrow as I took another drink from my glass.

"Your point?"

"You're going to see Michael, aren't you?" She asked, a grin spreading over her face. I shrugged.

"Maybe, maybe not."

"You are. You've been moping around since he hasn't contacted you all week. It's the only thing that makes sense." She wouldn't wipe the grin off her face as she accused me of this and it was really starting to irritate me.

"So what if I'm going to see Michael? Big deal." I tried to play it off.

"Don't act like you don't like him, Melacia." I gave her a dumb founded look.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She simply gave me a look of disbelieving and went back to her breakfast. I took that as a signal that I was dismissed from the conversation and gladly left the room grabbing my purse from the coffee table while heading to the door.

"Tell Momma and Daddy I'll be back later!" I called to her.

"Alright." I walked to the door getting ready to leave. "Oh and Melacia!"

"Yeah?"

"Tell Michael I said hi." I nodded though she couldn't see.

"Of course."

It didn't take me long to get to Michael's house. However, what did take me awhile was getting past the security guards.

"I'm sorry ma'am. But you're not familiar to me, I'm not authorized to let you in without permission from Michael." I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms.

"I am his best friend. This is ridiculous!" I threw my arms in the air in disgust. "Since when did he get new body guards and not tell me?"

"I'm gonna have to ask you to leave, ma'am."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm gonna have to ask you to leave." He clarified.

"Didn't you say you had to ask Michael before letting unknown visitors in?" I challenged him. He answered my inquiry with a single nod. "Well then, do you think it would be possible for you to get him?"

"No can do, ma'am. I've had strict orders that he's in the studio right now and does not want to be disturbed." I sighed and pressed my forefinger and my thumb to my temples.

"I'm gonna have to escort you from the premises if you won't leave willingly, ma'am." My blood was boiling by the second. First, I've waited all week to see or hear from Michael and I get nothing. I take out extra time just to look good for him. I get all the way here and his body guard gives me crap. And if he calls me ma'am one more time I'm gonna jack slap this guy!

"Look, all I really want is to see my best friend, is that so much to ask for? I could sit here and prove to you all day that I know him with pictures and stories, but I'm simply not going to."

"Ma'a-"

"Don't call me that. I know Michael Joseph Jackson, okay?! He just went out and bought a brand, spanking, new house last week!" I was in the middle of exploding when the front door swung open.

"Melacia!" I recognized the maid's cheerful voice. I glanced up and returned her kind smile.

"How are you, Dear?"

"Well I was doing good." I glared at the body guard.

"Oh you'll have to excuse Rufus. He's still trying to get to know everybody that Mike's in good with." She smiled. "It's alright Rufus, I'll take it from here." She smiled at him, leading me into Michael's luxurious home by my shoulders.

"I can't thank you enough, really." I spoke to her as she led me toward a hallway.

"Oh it's no problem, Dear." She said as we stopped at the head of the hallway. "Now, he's in the studio room, you know where it's at right?"

"Yeah." I nodded.

"Alright, then. I'll leave you to it." She smiled. I nodded, smiling before I turned from her to start down the hallway.

"Oh and Melacia," she called after me.

"Yeah?"

"I'd be careful."

"Careful?" I didn't mean to end the word with a slight laugh, but to use the words "be careful" about being with Michael was simply bogus.

"Yes, he's been a little, touchy ever since he came back last week."

"Came back?"

"You don't know, Dear?"

"Know what?" Her face held a look of bewilderment.

"I'll let him discuss it with you." She gave a forced smile before rushing from the room. Chills ran down my spine as I started down the hall. Michael was no monster, in fact he was the most lovable person I knew, so what was she on about?

I came face to face with the door of the studio and took a deep breath. I raised my hand to knock, but before my knuckles could come in contact with the door, it swung open. It took me just a second to take in the figure before me and my jaw went slightly ajar. This wasn't Michael standing before me. It couldn't be. Because the Michael I knew wouldn't do something like this to himself.

"Why?" I asked simply pushing him back into the studio room and kicking the door shut behind me with my foot before crossing my arms over my chest. His shoulders slouched visibly.

"You know why." He said, his voice so tender and meek. My heart broke with those words. He was right. I did know. His dad was continuously picking on him, making fun of his nose, people would laugh at him. Some of his fans had even claimed him ugly because of it. He'd talked about it before, but I'd always convinced him that he looked perfect just the way he was. That plastic surgery on his nose was not the way to go. The last time I checked, four or five months back, that's where his mind was set. But here this Michael stood before me, and he didn't look the same.

"Why didn't you come to me?" I asked, my emotions getting the better of me as my voice started to crack.

"Because I didn't want you to talk me out of it this time." I couldn't help the strangled sob that escaped my throat.

"You were perfect Michael, perfect just the way you were! You didn't need to change anything!" I started shouting and crying.

"You keep saying that! But you don't understand what it was like! To have people point and laugh, or ridicule you and belittle you because your nose is two sizes too big!" He was yelling now, it broke my heart when he yelled. But what he was saying about himself broke my heart worse then the volume of his voice. "You need to accept me for who I am now, Mel." I shook my head and let the tears flow freely. "Look at me!" He grabbed my face in his hands and held it there. "Look at me. This is who I am. This is what I look like now, Melacia, and there's nothing you can do to change me back." I choked out another sob as he said this. "You have to accept me for who I am now, Melacia. It's not even that drastic." I took a deep breath as I tried to regain my composure. Not only for the fact that I'd been in hysterics, but the man that I've been head over hills for, secretly, for the last two and a half years was now only a mere centimeters away.

"I understand." It came out as a forced whisper, but he heard me. The most gentle, beautiful smile graced his face then and he raised his hand to brush the tears from my cheek and swipe a stray piece of hair from my face.

"I love you, Mel." My breath hitched. He leaned in then, slowly. Before I knew it, I felt his gentle lips against the flesh of my tear stained, mascara streaked cheek. "I love you." He whispered again, his warm breath against my ear.

"I love you, too." I gasped as he held me in his grasp.

More than you know.