Butterflies

Now, in my lifetime I've gotten myself in a lot of pathetic situations, but never have I ever come close to revealing my feelings to Michael. Even by accident. I stared at him baffled while I fumbled for the correct words to say without telling him the truth.

"What is it? What don't I know?" He asked, sitting up completely now. A thanked God at that moment for whatever little bit of smarts I had.

"Billie Jean." The words rushed from my mouth. The look on his face changed to one of realization after a moment, probably remembering the earlier events of the day.

"What about her?"

"I fixed it." I replied before adding a mumbled, "Again." He stared at me strangely.

"That's not what you were talking about. I could've guessed that, already. There's something you're keeping from me that you don't want me to know, isn't there?" I stared at him, my jaw slightly ajar. How could he go and make such assumptions just by the simple sentence he heard me utter? I chewed lightly on the inside of my bottom lip then as I contemplated my answer.

"Yes, yes Michael, there is something I want to tell you. I suggested to Billie Jean that she should come move in with you, that it would cause less problems in your relationship." I chewed on my lip again as my eyes cast downward toward the floor. "And I, I just didn't know how you would feel about me getting into your personal life like that. Making suggestions for your relationship and all."

"Is that all?" I could hear a hint of a smile in his voice and before I knew it, I was being wrapped in his arms and pulled into his strong hold. "Melacia thank you so much." I could just picture the grin pastured on his beautiful face. "You don't know what you've done, or how much this means to me." He pulled me back from him and lifted my face so that he could look into my eyes.

"Your welcome?" I offered. He smiled.

"I've been trying to convince Billie Jean to move in with me for months, and all she'd say is how she didn't want the press hanging around. But somehow you manage to always make things work." He pulled me back into his arms and held me tightly. "Thank you so much." He murmured, and my heart melted. This is why I would do anything for the man.

"Anytime, Michael. Anytime." I whispered, lightly placing a hand on his chest enjoying as much of this embrace as I could before lifting myself away from him. He frowned.

"What's wrong?" He asked, making immediate assumptions.

"Nothing, nothing's wrong. It's just, Billie will be here soon, and I have to be getting back home. Mom's gonna have a fit if I don't spend some real time with Josh while he's in."

"Josh?" His eyes widened. "As in Joshua Jennings?" I grinned and nodded.

"That's him!" He laughed lightly.

"Oh my gosh, when did he get in?" He was excited now, and in a much better mood. My stomach felt more at ease since we'd left the subject of what I was keeping from him, but inside my heart was aching.

"Apparently late last night. I just found out today." He nodded.

"I'll have to visit him before he leaves. How long is he staying?"

"A couple weeks, we believe. You've got time." I smiled. He grinned and nodded.

"Good. It's been forever." I nodded.

"Michael?"

"Hmm?" He brought his eyes up from the bed to meet mine.

"How come you never told me that Josh was once your best friend first?" His eyes slightly widened.

"Who told y- Josh?" I nodded. "Well, I dunno. I guess I just didn't want you feeling bad about it, ya know? Or thinking that it was your fault. It totally wasn't. You just started to grow on me more." I nodded slowly, taking it in.

"I still feel bad, though. Just knowing."

"Don't." He grabbed me and pulled me backwards into his arms so my back fell against his chest. I laughed lightly and smiled up at him.

"I'd love to stay here with you, Dearest, but I have to be going." He sighed and nodded.

"Alright." He leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead. "I'll call you later. Tell you what happens with Billie Jean." I nodded, unraveling myself from his embrace and picking myself up from his bed.

"You do that." I gave him a small smile. "I'll talk to you later." I gave a small wave as I walked to the door.

"Wait! Mel!" I turned in the hall to see Michael approaching me.

"Yeah?"

"How are you getting home? You didn't drive here."

"Oh, I'll call a cab." I smiled.

"Are you sure? I could give you a ride?"

"Michael." I smiled. "It's late. Billie Jean will be here soon, and I'm fine with a cab." I closed the small distance of a few feet between us and placed a kiss on his cheek. "I'll see you soon."

As I walked through the door to my house, all was quiet and the house was dark with the exception of the overhead light above the sink in the kitchen the stayed on through the night. I sighed as I took off my shoes, trying to prevent making any noise, and walked through to the kitchen to grab a quick snack.

"So how'd it go with Michael?" I nearly jumped out of my own skin at the sound of my brother's voice. I placed my hand over my racing heart to try and calm it down as I glance over at Josh to see him feasting on a bowl of Fruit Loops. I smiled and shook my head as I grabbed some Oreos from the cabinet and took a seat across from him.

"It went fine." I shrugged.

"Fine? I thought Billie Jean got hurt?" I sighed.

"Okay, so she didn't get hurt. More like, she hurt him."

"What, physically?" I gave him a 'duh' sort of look.

"No, not physically, dork. She left him again, broke his heart." He nodded, chewing his cereal.

"And you went and made it all better, right?" He teased.

"Shut up." I smirked, eating another oreo.

"No but seriously, why do you run back every time?" I sighed.

"So we really have to go there, Josh? It's late."

"I already know the answer, so I suppose it doesn't really matter." I raised a brow at him.

"If you already knew the answer, then why'd you ask? What are your theories?"

"To hear it from you." He shrugged. "You're so hopelessly in love with him that you'll fall at his feat with any request." He over exaggerated his statement and I had to laugh.

"If I could reach you right now, I'd slap you." I grinned.

"Hey, what are you guys doing up at this time of night?" I looked up to see my mother walking in the kitchen.

"It's all good, Ma. We're just chillin'." I smirked at my brother.

"How long you been in, Mel?"

"Just got here." My brother ratted on me, just like old times.

"Thanks, Joshua." I mumbled, crossing my arms.

"Sweetie where have you been?"

"Michael's, Mom." I sighed and went back to my oreos, not ready to hear her lectures at twelve forty-five in the morning.

"What were you doing over there at this our?" She eyed me skeptically.

"He was having trouble with Billie Jean again." She nodded and sighed.

"I see. Well, just try and keep at a more decent hour next time, Mel." I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"Mom, it's not like I can predict or control when Billie Jean decides to walk out the door."

"Well, then maybe you shouldn't decide to play Match Maker every time."

"Mom, can I talk to Mel alone?" Josh interrupted our little argument. She sighed as she stared at him for a long moment.

"Fine. I'm going back to bed. You two don't be up too late, alright?" He nodded, I simply sat with my arms crossed, unmoving.

"Don't pay no mind to, Ma. She's just stressin' over you. What with you getting ready to move out and everything." My eyes widened slightly.

"How'd you know about that?"

"Rents told me." He smiled.

"I think it's great, 'bout time you got out on your own, Lacious." He grinned. I shrugged.

"You, Michael, and Freesia seem to be the only ones who think so."

"Freesia?" He raised his brow at me.

"Apparently she's oh so excited to get rid of me because I don't let them have fun."

"Annika acts pretty disappointed." I nodded and shrugged.

"I suppose."

"Look, you were gonna end up moving out someday, anyway. It's your life. You have to make your own choices." I nodded and smiled back at him.

"I guess so."

"Well, I'm gonna head to bed, kid. I gotta big day ahead tomorrow."

"You?" I laughed.

"Yup, gotta go see the G-parents." He grinned. I smiled and nodded.

"Of course. I'm gonna head to bed, too."

"Alright." He stood from his chair placing his bowl in the sink as I put my cookies away. "Night, Lacious." He wrapped me in a hug before we parted.

"Night, Josh."

I made my way up to my room and changed into my Spongebob pajamas. I contemplated writing as I stared at my laptop. My creative side got the better of me and I grabbed my laptop sitting on my bed. I pulled up Microsoft Word and began to sift through my thoughts and the events of the day before writing the following:

It is with such sadness I'm writing, tonight.
My heart has put up an endless fight.
Through troubled times and never ending tragedy,
My heart has suffered through aching blasphemy.
He loves this woman, or so he says.
He runs to me, when she runs from him.
His eyes are blind to my bleeding heart.
Because of her, we're worlds apart.
I cannot say if this heartache will end,
And most likely I'll fall at his pleas, once again.

I bit my lip and closed my eyes as I stopped the poem there. I could feel the burning of tears stinging the back of my eyelids and I had to fight them off. I saved the document and closed my laptop. I laid down in bed with thoughts of the entire day going through my mind. My head was throbbing, my heart aching.

If you only knew, Michael. That I loved you, like I do.