***ed up ending.
BUGS, BUGS ARE EVERYWHERE.
Tonight was just like every other night, another nightmare.
I shot up from my bed, screaming all the air out of my lungs and sweat making my hair stick to my forehead and back of my neck.
I looked over at my alarm; five thirty two in the morning. I opened my eyes and took a long sigh. My legs curled to my chest in front of me and I wrapped my arms around my legs. I can't explain why this always happens to me, but it does. Everynight. It might be because all those drugs I did back when I was a kid, or the drinking..I can't put my finger on it. I don't get it, I just don't get it and I don't like it, thats for sure. Whatever demon I have on my back that makes me see all my fears flash before my eyes must really think I suck. I tried opening my eyes hopping I'll get magically cat like vision and see what was in my dark, cold room. All I could see was the moon, shining in through my open window. My head fell onto my knees and I starred at the moon.
"Bugs.." I muttered, "..fucking bugs are everywhere."
I felt something on my lower back which caused me to jump and slap it away.
"Jesus christ, Ben! I fucking forgot you were here." Ben's big hand rubbed my lower back, his fingers stroking my shooken skin, half of my mouth curled upwards in a half smile as I looked at him. He groaned and moved his head around slowly, sighing as his eyes opened.
"Babe, I take up half your bed..how can you not notice me?" He mumbled, his eyes closing again. His fingers going up my bare back, and down my arm, twirling them inside the empty spaces of my fingers, and he pulled my arm towards his face to kiss my hand. Ben was always so sweet to me. Ben was my bestfriend, who just happens to be my boyfriend. He was six foot two, and he was built. Tough, muscular. I've been dating him for almost four years now, I'd probably be so lost without him. He's finally home from the marines, and I couldn't be happier since everybody would tell me that he was never coming home, but I knew my pride and joy would make it. This was his first night back, and I felt horrible for waking him up. When he would go off to the marines, I would have nightmares every time I shut my eyes that I would never see him again..It's almost as scary as when I lost my father.
I think he noticed my silence because he propped himself up on one elbow and looked at me and rubbed his eyes.
"Okay..Do you wanna talk about it?" He cupped my face in one big hand.
"No baby, this is your first night home. I feel just terrible for waking you up with one of my silly dreams." I looked away from him and reached over to grab my cigarettes. I opened the window and took a cigarette into my mouth and lit it.
"I always feel so weird sleeping naked with you." Ben said out of no where.
I chuckled and blew out smoke. "I'm sorry, do I still have cooties?"
"Ha ha, no..but..do you remember the time when I first slept over your house..four years ago?" He sat up and kissed my shoulder.
"I could never forget." A smile danced on my lips as I took another drag.
"You had a nightmare and I was so scared so I jumped off the bed..and you're mother came in and saw my.."
I threw my head back and laughed. "Your what, baby?"
He paused. "..little ben."
I kissed his forehead. "I don't think he's little anymore." My smile faded and I took another drag from my cigarette and ran my fingers through my hair and sighed. "..Bugs." I muttered.
"Well, don't worry about it." He kissed my cheek. "Because I'm here, and nothing will ever hurt you." Ben got up and walked to the closet to get his guitar and sat down next to me, putting his pick in his mouth and pulling me towards him. I threw the cigarette out the window and laid on top of his lap and closed my eyes as he took the pick out and began playing a soft meoldy that put me right to sleep. He whipsered the words "I love you." and kissed me.
Three years later.
I woke up screaming from another nightmare.
"BEN! BEN! WHERE THE FUCK IS BEN!" I was screaming and not even awake. I was trying to wake myself up, screaming and crying out for Ben.
"SWEETHEART, DEAR!" My mother shook me awake. "Bens not here! Honey..Bens not here."
I was crying on my mothers chest while she rocked me back and fourth. "I had a dream he was here...It was so real."
"Honey, Bens dead..you know it wasn't real."
Two years ago I said my goodbyes to my Fiance, and when he went back into the service, he never returned.
Not all stories have happy endings.
I shot up from my bed, screaming all the air out of my lungs and sweat making my hair stick to my forehead and back of my neck.
I looked over at my alarm; five thirty two in the morning. I opened my eyes and took a long sigh. My legs curled to my chest in front of me and I wrapped my arms around my legs. I can't explain why this always happens to me, but it does. Everynight. It might be because all those drugs I did back when I was a kid, or the drinking..I can't put my finger on it. I don't get it, I just don't get it and I don't like it, thats for sure. Whatever demon I have on my back that makes me see all my fears flash before my eyes must really think I suck. I tried opening my eyes hopping I'll get magically cat like vision and see what was in my dark, cold room. All I could see was the moon, shining in through my open window. My head fell onto my knees and I starred at the moon.
"Bugs.." I muttered, "..fucking bugs are everywhere."
I felt something on my lower back which caused me to jump and slap it away.
"Jesus christ, Ben! I fucking forgot you were here." Ben's big hand rubbed my lower back, his fingers stroking my shooken skin, half of my mouth curled upwards in a half smile as I looked at him. He groaned and moved his head around slowly, sighing as his eyes opened.
"Babe, I take up half your bed..how can you not notice me?" He mumbled, his eyes closing again. His fingers going up my bare back, and down my arm, twirling them inside the empty spaces of my fingers, and he pulled my arm towards his face to kiss my hand. Ben was always so sweet to me. Ben was my bestfriend, who just happens to be my boyfriend. He was six foot two, and he was built. Tough, muscular. I've been dating him for almost four years now, I'd probably be so lost without him. He's finally home from the marines, and I couldn't be happier since everybody would tell me that he was never coming home, but I knew my pride and joy would make it. This was his first night back, and I felt horrible for waking him up. When he would go off to the marines, I would have nightmares every time I shut my eyes that I would never see him again..It's almost as scary as when I lost my father.
I think he noticed my silence because he propped himself up on one elbow and looked at me and rubbed his eyes.
"Okay..Do you wanna talk about it?" He cupped my face in one big hand.
"No baby, this is your first night home. I feel just terrible for waking you up with one of my silly dreams." I looked away from him and reached over to grab my cigarettes. I opened the window and took a cigarette into my mouth and lit it.
"I always feel so weird sleeping naked with you." Ben said out of no where.
I chuckled and blew out smoke. "I'm sorry, do I still have cooties?"
"Ha ha, no..but..do you remember the time when I first slept over your house..four years ago?" He sat up and kissed my shoulder.
"I could never forget." A smile danced on my lips as I took another drag.
"You had a nightmare and I was so scared so I jumped off the bed..and you're mother came in and saw my.."
I threw my head back and laughed. "Your what, baby?"
He paused. "..little ben."
I kissed his forehead. "I don't think he's little anymore." My smile faded and I took another drag from my cigarette and ran my fingers through my hair and sighed. "..Bugs." I muttered.
"Well, don't worry about it." He kissed my cheek. "Because I'm here, and nothing will ever hurt you." Ben got up and walked to the closet to get his guitar and sat down next to me, putting his pick in his mouth and pulling me towards him. I threw the cigarette out the window and laid on top of his lap and closed my eyes as he took the pick out and began playing a soft meoldy that put me right to sleep. He whipsered the words "I love you." and kissed me.
Three years later.
I woke up screaming from another nightmare.
"BEN! BEN! WHERE THE FUCK IS BEN!" I was screaming and not even awake. I was trying to wake myself up, screaming and crying out for Ben.
"SWEETHEART, DEAR!" My mother shook me awake. "Bens not here! Honey..Bens not here."
I was crying on my mothers chest while she rocked me back and fourth. "I had a dream he was here...It was so real."
"Honey, Bens dead..you know it wasn't real."
Two years ago I said my goodbyes to my Fiance, and when he went back into the service, he never returned.
Not all stories have happy endings.