What We Used To Know

Everyday since I had been walking to school this year, the same boy had been walking in the same direction, to the same location. The only thing, was he was always about ten paces in front of me. I had seen the same sight now for the last seven months that I’d been walking behind him. He had dark brown - almost black - hair, and legs like a girl. His backpack had the Volcom Stone on it, and there were always some crumpled papers peeping through the zipper. Those were the only things I knew about him. I don’t think I could even count the number of times I’d seen his face on one hand. He was my neighbor, but as you can see, we never really met. I didn’t even know his name; and it was likely he didn’t know mine either. It was possible he didn’t even know I existed, since he was always ahead of me on the journey to school, and back home.

This was my first year in this new town, and I still hadn’t made any friends. It’s been seven months, and I still haven’t made any friends. Goes to show how much I care about my social life. Hint: I don’t. What’s it matter? It’s likely we’re just going to be moving again within a year. That seemed to be the trend in my family: moving. Every year and a half we packed everything up so we could go somewhere else, and begin with a fresh start. Although this was mostly because my older brother was one of the biggest trouble makers in history. I had no idea why mum and dad wouldn’t just let him drop out of school. And I’d also think that we’d run out of new places to move into sooner or later. Let’s face it, this country isn’t that big.

In the first seven months here, I’d managed to perfect the art of disappearing. No one noticed me, and I didn’t mind. The less people who knew me, the better. That meant fewer people that would notice I was gone. Fewer people who cared, meant fewer people I’d get attached to. And the less we have of attachments, the better. I guess I figured this all out at an early age. Moving sucks, along with all of the things that come with it, like losing all of your friends.

Maybe that’s why I was so determined not to talk to anybody, because I was just sick of losing everything I tried to build. Sure, there wasn’t much I could do, since I was still only twelve, but I knew enough now to know better than making friends. I was trying my hardest to blend in, and to just skate by. So far, it was working. Everyone I saw, didn’t see me. So as far as I was concerned, this was all golden.

It was a rather odd thing though, in the entire time I’d been “following” this neighbor of mine, I’d never even got the chance to figure out what year he was in. As soon as we arrived on campus in the morning, he sped off somewhere. Honestly, the only times I’d seen him in my life where the times when we went to school, or returned home. I’d never seen him outside on the street, playing around like the few other kids around. Not like I was ever out much, but I saw a lot from the windows in my house.

I didn’t want to go outside and risk people wanting to hang out with me, because that might mean they actually want to be friends with me, or at least have some sort of interest in me. And we can’t have any of that. Friendships don’t mean a thing if you’re not going to be there in two years.

Today though, was different. Different than any other day from the past seven months. Everything I’d worked for starting the moment I got here was nullified in just a single glance. I couldn’t decide whether this was a good thing, or a bad thing. It happened so fast, I didn’t know what was happening, until after it happened.

I was walking home, like usual, like I did everyday. The familiar roads seemed to pass under my feet without me even having to think about where to turn, or when to stop. It was all natural to me, second nature almost. My mind and body seemed to launch into auto-pilot when I walked to or from school. Guess it was a good thing though, because it gave me time to get all of my thoughts organized.

Ten-Step (yes, that’s what I called my neighbor) was as usual, about ten steps ahead of me, hence the nickname. He was walking at the exact same pace I was, so that we kept our distance completely equal when we walked. I already walked slow enough, so I couldn’t decelerate anymore to put distance between me and Ten-Step, because I’d then be moving at the pace of a snail. Of course, I knew he wouldn’t be speeding up anytime soon, so that put out any and all chances of there being any greater space between the two of us.

He moved rather awkwardly as he walked, his feet scuffing against the pavement. I could hear the way the soles of his shoes scraped against it, like he was trying to see how fast he could wear out a good pair of shoes. I watched as his right arm extended up, his hand weaving into his hair, shifting it around a bit. Soon enough his hand dropped at his side, his arms lightly swinging back and forth as he walked.

I suppose I really had no other options than to watch Ten-Step, because he was the only thing in front of me. And let’s face it, he was the most interesting piece of scenery when I was walking.

He seemed a little off today though. It almost sounded like he was talking to himself, but I was just far enough away from him so that I couldn’t tell. The scraping of his shoes against the pavement made it hard to distinguish all of the sounds around us.

We were rounding the corner to our street, continuing to walk at just the same pace as we always had. I lived three houses down from him, so everyday when he turned into the drive of his house, I’d just keep walking. No sings had ever been clear to me whether he saw me out of his peripheral vision or not, though. So this still shows that I was quite unsure whether he knew I existed or not.

Ten-Step seemed to be slowing down now, gradually closing the space between us. I had to actually crouch down and pretend to tie my shoe so that I could kill enough time for him to get ahead. Wouldn’t want to get to close to him, ‘cause then he might think I’m being weird for being so close behind him.

That was the first time I’d ever noticed him purposely slowing down though. It seemed like in the seven months I’d been walking behind him, he maintained the same pace wherever he was going. Wasn’t much of a past pace, either.

As I stood back up though, he was hardly any further in front of me than he had been twenty seconds ago. For all I knew, he could have just stood there while I was adjusting my already laced shoes.

We both sort of lingered there, and I tried to come up with a way to get out of this situation. It would have been pointless for me to cross the street in an attempt to escape him, but I was thoroughly considering it now that he wasn’t moving at all. He just stood there, directly in front of his driveway. To any other person, it might have looked like he was waiting for something, but I knew it was something different. In all the previous months of walking behind him, he had never once stopped like this. But I decided not to cross the street, instead just opting to simply walk around him. A task that seemed highly intimidating to me, since I’d never actually been within a meter radius of him.

Right as I was coming up behind him though, he turned into his driveway, his head instantly whipping back. His dark eyes met mine, seeming to bore into me. A little smirk appeared on his face, and his intense gaze wouldn’t let go of me. It took everything in me to continue walking, pretending that I wasn’t bothered by this whatsoever.

On the inside, I was beginning to shake with rapid tremors. His eyes averted mine just seconds later as he continued to walk up to his house as if he never looked back in the first place. This was the first time I’d ever really seen his face, up close. Somehow, it looked like he already had something against me from the way he looked at me, like he was angry with me. I brushed it off though, knowing that it probably meant nothing. Ten-Step didn’t know me, I didn’t know him, and I preferred that we kept it that way. He didn’t look all too friendly, and I wasn’t planning on making friends anyways. So by the looks of it, things were going to work out.

I continued to walk home in a bit of a stupor though, fumbling with the key to the door as I tried to let myself inside. Neither of my parents were home by the time I arrived, and they weren’t likely to be home in the following hours, either. They both were overly obsessed with work, and that’s what kept us moving so many times. Too many promotions had been given to them - remarkably around the same time my brother decided to get expelled again - at the cost of my own happiness and friendships. So this time, when we arrived here, I vowed not to let any happiness be taken from me, simply by not creating any. And everything I had worked for in the past seven months of going unnoticed was cancelled the second Ten-Step turned to look at me.

I could have sworn though, in the moment I met his eyes, everything seemed right in the world. And then he had to look away.