What We Used To Know

He couldn’t stop questioning himself within seconds how he lost control of the situation so quick. One minute, this girl who looked attractive in the dim light had no idea who he was, telling him she hated his band that she didn’t know he was in, and the next, Oliver was admitting that he was the vocalist of that very band. Things just got weirder and weirder by the minute. He had had full control of the situation between the two, and he willingly relinquished it for no apparent reason. Oli himself still hadn’t a clue why he would have admitted to being in the band when he could have just walked away and moved on to the next victim.

But did he really want this girl he didn’t even know to be a victim? She didn’t look like she deserved to be smooth talked and dazzled and dragged off to the tour bus for only a night. Something looked different about her. Perhaps it was just the way she stood by herself, looking content in her solitude, but at the same time her face gave the message that she would run as far from the venue as she could if given the chance.

No, he didn’t want to try and take advantage of this girl, but he couldn’t just walk away from her and move on to the next girl, either.

“So what’s your name then?” Addie asked. She didn’t even know any of the names of the members of Bring Me The Horizon, the band she hated, whose vocalist was standing right in front of her. The least she could ask is what the name of the guy who created all the sounds that made her ears want to bleed.

“’M Oli,” he said, smiling a little as she looked up at him. He had to secretly admit that he liked the way her hair seemed to be in place, where as every other lass who had been in the mosh pit during the show looked like she had been dragged to hell and back.

She looked innocent.

She looked wildly out of place.

Oli. That name. It sort of reminded Addie briefly of… Oh… What’s His Name. His name was similar to that, wasn’t it? Well, if Addie could even remember that kid’s name, then she would know. But in fact, Addie was surprised that a childhood friend she couldn’t even remember had just popped into her head, before Oli’s voice interrupted her thoughts.

“An’ what’s your name?” he asked her, his strange and sudden curiosity for this out of place stranger getting the best of him.

“I’m Addie,” she said, introducing herself. She still couldn’t decide whether he was drunk or not, but it sounded like it was just the way he talked, making her laugh a little. “So, you’re really in that band?”

Oli chuckled, smiling as a few droplets of sweat that Addie knew now were the result of performing - not the mosh pit - fell onto his shoulders. In all honesty, it looked like he had just taken a shower, or stood outside in some fierce rain. “Yeah, I am,” he shouted, as the music slowly got louder and louder. Addie winced at his voice level, but it was necessary to talk that loud in order for the other to hear.

“Well, what’s it like?” she asked, genuinely curious. Addie loved music and bands, not particularly Oli’s genre of course, but she had been fascinated with music for years now, ever since she started high school.

Oliver could barely hear what she had said, and reading her lips in the dim lighting was almost impossible. He reached out and touched her arm without even thinking, and Addie’s head snapped to where his skin was making contact with hers. She looked back to his face, slightly caught off guard.

He leaned in near her face, making her heart begin racing faster and faster for no apparent reason. “Look, do you wanna go somewhere where we can actually hear each other?” he said into her ear, so that he wouldn’t have to scream over the vocals of the band on stage.

Addie didn’t know what to do. She stood there, frozen as Oli stood back a few inches and looked at her. She couldn’t just leave with him; she didn’t even know him. She hated his band, what would that say about how she felt about him? An argument in her head soon followed.

What are you doing, Addie?! You can’t just leave somewhere with this guy. First of all, you hate his band, do you really think you’re going to like him anymore than you like the music he makes? No. I don’t think so. His music doesn’t sound good, so he’s probably not up to any good either. Besides, you need to wait for Dee. She’s in the pit you know, counting on you being here after the show. What’s she gonna do when she finds you’re gone? Right, she’s gonna shit a cow, and then kick your ass. Stay put, Addie.

Addie had to agree with herself. She couldn’t just leave with some random vocalist of a band she hated, a band that Dee loved. If anyone, Deandra should go off with this Oli guy; she’d probably have more fun. Addie had trouble opening up to new people, or anyone, for that matter. Did she really think things would go over well if she just disappeared with Oli? No, she’d probably end up in trouble and then have to have Deandra come and rescue her.

“Look, I’m sorry,” Addie said, shaking her head while she apologized to Oliver. “I can’t. My best friend is in the pit, and she’s my ride home. I can’t exactly disappear on her.”

Oli nodded, sucking on a corner of his lip that glinted in the light, Addie guessed it was a lip ring. “Okay, but you should know that this band doesn’t finish up for another forty-five minutes. We ‘ave a while. An’ they’re actually plannin’ to play a secret encore,” he said, looking into Addie’s eyes while she smiled, rolling her eyes. “Well, ‘s not much of a secret now,” he added.

They both laughed, and Addie pulled out her phone, at least sending a text message to Dee alerting her that she was going somewhere. “Okay,” she agreed. Oli smiled, and jerked his thumb towards an exit nearby where he started walking off to.

“I’m taking a break Dee. I’ll be back by the time the show ends. But you’ll never guess who I’m with. The vocalist of that band that I hate, BMTH. I‘m going by my own free will, I swear.” Addie typed out the message quickly while she walked out of the door and into the freezing weather. She hoped Dee wouldn’t get pissed at her for leaving for just a while. She promised to be back by the time the show ended. Maybe Deandra would actually be proud of her for talking to someone. Someone famous.

Addie started shivering once outside with Oli. It wasn’t snowing yet, but it surely would be, soon enough. The sky was a mixture of black and grey, an omen of more bad weather. Before Addie got the chance to ask Oli if they would be standing outside in the freezing weather for long, he started walking off.

“C’mon,” he said, looking back to the frozen Addie, where she stood planted on the ground. “We’re going back to the bus to talk,” he explained, saying the words slowly, “Back where it’s quiet.”

Addie nodded, picking up her feet and following after him. She’d never been in a tour bus before. She’d never talked to someone in a band. She’d never gone off to an unknown area with someone she didn’t know. Something was wrong with her tonight. Something was very wrong.

They made it to the bus, which was parked along side a few other busses in an oversized parking lot attached to the venue. Addie watched as Oli punched in a few numbers on the keypad next to the door, opening it before stepping aside to let Addie in first; something he normally never did. Manners weren’t exactly Oliver’s area of expertise, but something told him to step aside and let the lady in first.

“Thanks,” Addie breathed, warming up as she stepped inside the bus, trying not to gasp as she saw how nice it looked. Everything in it was gorgeous.

Oliver stepped on the bus, shutting the door to block out the cold air that had flooded into the bus, creating a chill. He watched as Addie stood there - and he had to blush at his thought, that he had actually remembered her name for this long - looking around. “You can ‘ave a seat, you know,” he said, joking as she gingerly sat down on the leather couch, trying to find a spot that wasn’t cluttered with junk.

Addie looked at him, looking at her. She averted her eyes, letting them wander along the ceiling and to the back of the bus as Oli sat down a few inches away from her, turning so that one leg was curled up on the couch. She mirrored the action, facing him now.

“So,” she started, trying to think of something to say as Oli’s eyes looked into hers, making her feel uncomfortable and suddenly wonder why she was on the tour bus of a band she hated, with the vocalist who looked a little sketchy in all honesty. The way his tattoos peeked out from his shirt in every direction intrigued her, but scared her at the same time. “What were you doing in the back of the venue? Aren’t you guys supposed to stay like… back stage?”

Well, at least Addie was being truthful. She had genuinely wondered why a performer was wandering around the venue. Usually when Addie was uncomfortable, or nervous, or out of her element, she lied. It was just a simple way of protecting herself, making it easier to control everything.

Oli chuckled, not sure if he knew the answer himself. “To be honest, I’m not even sure. I wanted to take a walk, and everyone was packed up ‘round the stage anyways, well, except you,” he said, pausing to laugh, “so I stuck to the back to do some exploring.”

Addie laughed, cocking an eyebrow. “Really? You wanted to explore?”

“Yeah, actually,” he replied, taking note of how stupid he sounded right now. “It gets stuffy back there, with all them other guys backstage. So I went out for a little adventure.”

“And risked getting mobbed?” Addie joked, noticing the accent Oli had even more, now that she could actually hear him.

“’At’s why I stuck to the back,” he joked back, in a “duh” tone. “An’ that’s where I found you.”

“Yes it is,” Addie replied, smiling. Why was it so easy for her to feel like she shouldn’t have to put up all of her guards around this stranger? Was it because she knew he’d be gone within hours, so it didn’t matter how much of the real Addie he saw? The only thing she could think about though, was that she wasn’t being the normal “real” Addie. This was the Addie who laughed and truly didn’t remember her problems, and didn’t want to; she felt like she honestly didn’t have any problems. This was the Addie who hadn’t been out of the closet in years.

“Why did you come over to me, anyways?” she asked, perplexed about that, too.

He shrugged, “I dunno. You were all by yourself. And I just wondered why you were the only person in the back of the venue, ‘sides me. Why were you back there?”

“Okay.” Addie nodded. “Well, your music kind of makes my ears want to bleed,” she admitted, feeling suddenly embarrassed that she was admitting that to the face of the person who created the music. “I wanted to be as far away from the speakers as I possibly could.”

He raised his eyebrows, half smiling. It wasn’t everyday that a girl admitted to hating his music. Hell, most of the ones who he could tell hated his music still lied about it just to have a chance with him. This night wasn’t running the course Oli had had planned, at all.

“So… you really hate my music?” he asked, a tentative tone in his voice, like he was making sure that she wasn’t lying; or maybe like he was shocked that the was telling the truth. Maybe it was just because this was the first time someone had told Oli to his face that they didn’t like him, well, his music.

“Yeah, haha…” Addie said, blushing. “I’m a Jack Johnson girl. Matt Nathanson, Sufjan Stevens and the like. I’m not too big on the heavy stuff.”

“Oh. I’m not too big on the light stuff,” he added, chuckling. The situation should have felt awkward, but it didn’t. The conversation wasn’t forced, but it felt like it should have been. It should have been harder for Oliver to warm up to this girl who wasn’t anything close to what he liked in his women.

For one, they were actually talking. Talking was the last thing Oli wanted to do when he took a girl back to the bus. All he could think about was how this night had abruptly taken on a new course without him even doing anything. It was all because of him that they ended up here, but he didn’t even know why they were here. The only thing he knew was that it felt right.

After a few more moments of silence, Addie spoke up.

“I see you’ve got an accent. You from Yorkshire?”

“Aye. How’d you know?” Oli’s eyebrows rose up, surprised that a lass from Illinois would be able to identify his accent.

“Used to live there when I was younger, quite a few years ago.” This was the first time that Addie had actually admitted to someone where she had come from. Every other time she had been asked in the past where she was from, she deflected the question, hating to talk about the past. But maybe now that she was being different tonight, acting completely unlike her normal self, she would give it a shot and admit where she had come from.

“Ah, cool. Do you miss it?” Oliver was trying to stay smooth, keeping the conversation light when he saw Addie’s face twist a little at the mentioning of her past there.

“Sort of. To be honest I don’t remember much at all about it, really,” Addie said, complete honesty flowing from her mouth. What was it about her and melting into comfort all of a sudden? Not even half an hour ago she was ready to bolt out of the venue, and now she was sitting in a tour bus in the parking lot.

They sat in a few moments’ silence again, not knowing what to say. Oliver thought about how was costing him not to be back with the rest of his band mates, planning where they were going to go after the show ended, but somehow, sticking around in the bus with this girl was better than anything else he could think of. After he had seen the same encore performed by the headlining band over twenty times, Oli was fine with missing it to be talking to someone new. Someone who had something about her that just intrigued him; he didn’t want to let her leave just yet and head back to his mates, but he could tell she wasn’t the type of girl who would be a quick fuck. No, she seemed different than his “norm” within the first few minutes of knowing her.

But he wanted to know her. He wanted to know Addie. Something felt different about her. Was it in the way she smiled? Or talked? Or looked at him like she had known him for years, none of the silences or words between them feeling awkward?

He had to know her.

So he leaned in, closer to her face than what would have been considered normal for just a conversation. “Look, I like you, and I know you’re not the type’a bird to stick around for just a night,” he started, looking her in the eye while shifting on the couch. “But I wanna get to know you.” Because I have to, he thought; once again his actions getting ahead of him before his brain could catch up.

“So what should we do about that?” Addie asked, baffled that a famous person whose music she had admitted to hating - to his face - wanted to get to know her.

“Can I get your number?” he asked back, leaning out a little so that the simple question didn’t feel so intense.

“Sure,” Addie started, pulling her phone out of her pocket. She wondered when the last time she even gave her number to a man was. Probably a long time ago. She hadn’t fooled around with much of anyone lately, those days ended in the years after high school. Addie didn’t want to lose her virginity to a one night stand, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to handle letting in a guy long enough to take the only piece of herself she had left. But she snapped back into reality when Oli’s hand brushed hers when he took the phone from her hand.

She grabbed the iPhone from him, punching in her name and number, while Oliver did the same. It was almost time for the show to be over, if it wasn’t over already, and Addie was getting worried now that Dee hadn’t texted her back. She hoped that she would have a ride home tonight, praying that Deandra wouldn’t be furious she ran off with the vocalist of one of Dee’s favorite bands.

“Are you from Chicago?” Oli blurted out, not quite sure why he asked in the first place.

“No,” Addie replied slowly, “I’m from Springfield.”

“Oh,” he replied, taking note of that, yet again not knowing why. Why did he want to know what city she lived in? “Well, shows endin’ soon. We better get you back to your friend.”

So they walked back to the venue through the frosty parking lot, getting back just in time for Oli to whisper something in Addie’s ear that she couldn’t hear before he departed backstage in order to avoid the gobs of people now scattered about. She looked around for Dee, mainly her giveaway hair that made her recognizable from anywhere. Addie found her, leaning up against a wall looking around, smiling when she saw Addie.

“Let’s go,” she breathed, sweaty from being in the crowd, her curly hair now a ball of frizz.

But Addie couldn’t stop thinking about what Oli had whispered in her ear. She wasn’t even able to make out what he had said, but it felt like the words were ringing in her ears as she exited the venue with her best friend.

“I’m coming back for you.”