What We Used To Know

Addie woke up to the sound of someone snoring softly. At first, she was alarmed, her eyes widening and heartbeat speeding up rapidly before she looked around at her surroundings. She was laying on the floor by her couch, blankets covering her body as she was sprawled out. She turned her head from left to right, trying to decipher where the snoring was coming from. Her eyes landed on Oli’s sleeping form, his eyes closed and his mouth hanging open just slightly.

She blushed for some reason, just looking at him for a few minutes longer than what would have been necessary - or normal.

It was roughly nine right now, and Addie rubbed the sleep from her eyes, still waking up. Her and Oli had decided to camp out on her floor just hours prior. They had been up talking all night, getting deeper and deeper into each other’s minds as they asked countless questions, and told countless stories. Once the all-so-important discovery was made that they had in fact known each other ten years ago, and had been best friends, they couldn’t stop talking for the life of them. They both just had to know more now, at this point.

Addie wanted to know what her best friend who she had so easily forgotten about had been up to in the past decade now. And Oli wanted to know now more than ever all the details about Addie. First, when he didn’t know who she was, he wanted to figure her out. Now that he knew her, he had to know even more. He had already known her before, but that was ten years ago. They had both grown up so much. And the fact that they had been best friends at one point in time didn’t mean he would still know her, obviously. But perhaps the reason behind the way they always felt so familiar around each other revolved around how they actually always had known each other, they just weren’t aware of it.

He wanted to know why she never called, or wrote, or gave any kind of sign that she was okay when she had randomly left. And Addie apologized, trying to explain carefully what she had gone through, without really telling him anything. She was still scared about opening up to people, and that rule didn’t bend for her once best friend even. She was scared of letting Oli into the pain she had gone through, after leaving him behind and completely forgetting about him. He certainly didn’t do the same for her. Oliver remembered the countless weeks he spent in the summer trying to figure out a way to find her, so he could have his best friend back.

Once he had heard what happened though with her brother and father, he knew there was no hope. This would have crushed Addie, as it even crushed him. Things were done, and he was now alone, again.

So Addie tried to skirt around really letting him in, although Oliver saw exactly what Addie was in those hours he talked to her. She was the most fragile being he’d ever encountered. She was so scared of everything, it was more than easy for him to see it no matter how hard she tried to hide it. It was the way he could tell that she was hiding things from him that let him know she was so fragile. He’d have to be careful with her. Once false move and she’d be shattered, he knew it. A person just isn’t right after they watch two of their family members die. He knew that from the second Addie admitted that he had just described her past.

Did this count as figuring her out? Slowly he learned more, mostly on his own. Addie wasn’t telling him anything. She avoided nearly every in-depth question at all costs, skirting around it with skillful words. He could tell she’d done this before. Oliver wondered how many people she had honestly been honest with in the past. It hurt to know that he wasn’t getting the full truth, even now - even after he had been finally reunited with the best friend he had been missing for years.

But he couldn’t blame her. He could tell now that Addie didn’t open up to anyone. Why should she open up to someone she had known ten years ago, but had only been speaking to for a month?

He was figuring her out though, piecing together all of the slivers of information she gave him. It was a near impossible task, but he knew Addie. She may be ten years older and a hell of a lot more grown up, but this was still his childhood best friend, and he felt like he knew her better than anyone in the world. A sad fact, but it was probably true.

Addie stood up, putting her hands to her head as her vision blurred and she suffered through a head rush. A rather nasty one at that, she nearly fell over. But she gathered herself, running a hand through her hair and checking the time again. Everything was catching up with her now that she was beginning to wake up. Oli still had to get back to the hotel to grab his things before they decided Addie would drive him to the airport.

She walked over to him, watching him sleep for just a few more minutes before crouching down on the floor and poking his shoulder a few times. He stirred, but didn’t wake.

“Oli,” she whispered, leaning in close to his ear. “It’s time to get up. We gotta go, like, soon.”

Still, nothing. She pushed his shoulder this time with her palm, trying not to be rough. But it looked like she was going to have to be, for he wasn’t even doing anything. Addie groaned in frustration, pushing him again.

“Oliver,” she spoke, her voice firm and rather loud, “it is time to wake up!”

She sounded exasperated, as any person would after trying to wake someone for five minutes.

Finally, he rolled over, opening his eyes and moaning as he glanced around quickly, repeating the same phase that Addie had done just minutes ago. Once he spotted her everything was alright, and he sat up, rubbing his eyes and smoothing out his air that was sticking up in every which way. He looked around, making sure he was really with her, and that this wasn’t some dream. He prayed to God that this wasn’t a dream, that he wasn’t really back in his hotel room.

It was amazing to sleep so close to Addie, feeling her body heat as they laid on the floor, too lazy to get up and head to Addie’s bed. In fact, she was more than glad to stay on the floor, because her bed had not been shared by another person besides her, ever, and she wasn’t sure what could happen while trying to sleep in the same bed with Oli. She feared that her instincts would kick in and she’d give into her feelings. That would be unacceptable, so they stuck to the living room floor.

“What?” he asked, the sleep in his voice weighing it down. He looked overly out-of-it, his eyes looking a little glazed over as he had difficulty trying to stay focused on Addie.

“Oli, we have to go soon. It’s nine-something right now, and I still need to take you back to your hotel!” she exclaimed, standing up and bustling into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. She wasn’t one for coffee, or much of any type of caffeine.

“Shit,” he whined, flopping back down onto the floor, regretting doing so once his body came in hard contact with the not-so-soft flooring of Addie’s living room. The light coming in from the cracks in the curtains already stung his eyes, he didn’t want to have to go outside into the world. He didn’t want to get on a plane and fly thousands of miles away from his newly found old best friend. Oli wanted to stay here and sleep, having Addie next to him while he secretly pretended not to smell her hair.

“Okay, okay, I’m goin’, I’m goin’,” he muttered, placing his hand down on the ground and standing up, various joints popping on the ascent. He was still in his clothes, as was Addie, but now his too-tight jeans and t-shirt were wrinkled.

Addie dashed into her room and reappeared back in the entry way of her apartment where Oli was standing, looking as if he could fall asleep right there, in a new pair of jeans and a fresh t-shirt. Her hair was adequately tamed in a pony tail, wisps of hair falling down into her face. “Let’s go then.”

They’d made it to the hotel in record time due to Addie’s excessive speeding, and she waited in the car while Oliver sprinted into the hotel and back to his room. He quickly changed, grabbing everything he had brought back with him, which wasn’t much. He’d sent everything from tour back home with Tom, minus a bag of clothes and other necessities that had gotten him through the week. He was back in the car in under ten minutes, and they were off.

Addie wasn’t so fond of the airport. She had only been to two in her life. The Manchester airport that she departed from England in, and the Abraham Lincoln Capital airport in Springfield. And with that, she had only been to each of those airports once. Addie just hated the Springfield airport, even once she had grown to love Springfield itself. But she walked through the door with Oli close by her side, his presence somehow making her feel at ease, even though she would be walking back out without him.

She was able to make it all the way up to security with Oliver, after making sure he got checked in as well as got his single bag checked. He had a backpack for a carry-on, it hung over his shoulder loosely, the contents not weighing enough inside to keep it in place.

“So, what do you think you’ll do once you get home?” Addie asked, biting her lip as she noticed how close they were getting to the point where she would have to say goodbye to Oli for good. Well, for a while. She really hoped she would be seeing him again.

“I don’t know. Sleep?” He chuckled, smiling lazily at Addie. “I’ll just be restin’ up before we have to go do somethin’ else I’m sure. Hopefully we can get a few weeks off. I’m tired as fuck.”

Addie nodded, twisting her mouth to the side as she noticed that there were only three people left in front of Oliver now. “Well, I should get going. Have a good flight, okay? Call me… sometime.”

Oli nodded as well, something in his brain deciding that he should do something sweet for Addie. Some sort of sign that he was sad he was going home, and that he’d miss her. Of course, he couldn’t just tell her. Instead, he opened his arms out a few inches to his side, watching as Addie bit her lip again, smiling before wrapping her own small arms around his waist.

Finally, they had contact.

She breathed in his scent, her nose crushed into his shirt material. He smelled like a mixture of cologne and her own living room carpet flooring. Rather interesting mix, but she smiled when he pulled her in tighter for a few seconds, taking note of how well he was able to pull it off. They released each other, but not before Oli placed a tiny kiss on her cheek.

Addie smiled so wide, the corners of her mouth could have touched her ears. Her big eyes lit up like Oliver had never seen. Happiness just radiated off of her, and he smiled as he watched her stand there, illuminating the entire goddamn airport. But then her face fell, and Oli turned to the voice of the security guard who was motioning to him that it was his turn to step through the metal detectors. His eyes dropped, but he picked them up again to see Addie, who was slowly backing away.

They smiled one last time before she turned around and started walking away. She had to do it now, or her legs would never move, and she would stay standing in the same spot forever, until it was impossible to see Oliver. She walked quickly, her shoes slapping the floor as she made it out of the airport in one piece.

She hated how it felt to have to leave someone she used to trust so much, after finally finding him again after so long. Maybe she could let him in someday, when she really knew Oliver again. For now, she settled on the butterflies that lingered in her stomach while she drove away from the airport, eager for the coming hours, excited for that phone call she would hopefully get from Oli… sometime.

***

Oli stumbled through the door to his flat, cursing whoever had dropped his stuff off. They left it strewn about the entryway, tripping him and catching his feet while he dumbly maneuvered in the dark. It was almost midnight now. He’d gotten held up at the airport when he arrived in Manchester, and then it was hell trying to find someone to give him a ride home. He settled on a cab, frowning the whole way home as he watched the price per kilometer ascend up, and up, and up.

He was glad to be back. It was familiar here. He knew it so well, and loved it just as much. Oliver loved his kitchen, and the way his bedroom smelled, and how soft his sheets were, and how welcoming his own pillow was. He didn’t like how empty his bed felt though. It was cold, from not being slept in in so long. It had been months since he had gotten a good night’s sleep in his own bed. For so long, it had been his bunk on the bus, and then the bed at the hotel, or Addie’s living room floor.

But home was familiar, and he was more than glad to be here. He was only disappointed that he couldn’t have his best friend here with him. She was familiar. She was home.

He smiled at himself as he drifted off to sleep in his own bed, knowing how silly he was being. Were they even best friends now? They hadn’t been best friends in ten years, was it considered normal to just pick up and start acting so close again? Addie was familiar because she was that piece of Oli’s past he had missed so much. She was home because home is where the heart is.

The second Oliver thought those words, his eyes snapped open. Home is where the heart is? he questioned himself. His heart skipped a beat. Sure, he had felt more than comfortable with her in that week in Springfield. He felt like he could have been home, hanging out with someone he’d known for years - which was partially true, in their case. Oli felt natural around her, like they could just be themselves, even though they were so unlike the other. If they were so different, why was it so easy for them to get along? Because somehow Addie had his heart? That wasn’t possible, Oli told himself. He didn’t give his heart to anyone. Oliver Sykes was too selfish to give such a big - and fragile - part of himself to anyone else, so they could do what they please with it.

The most reasonable and logical answer popped into his head, and everything made sense again while he drifted off to sleep.

He hadn’t given his heart to Addie. No, she stole it.