What We Used To Know

Oliver laid in bed, his eyes flickering open every few moments, before shutting them again, and trying to go back to sleep. He had awoken sharply for no reason, his eyes snapping open, leaving him in the silence of his own room now. The sun peeked through cracks in the dark curtains hanging over the windows. He didn’t want to know what time it was, he wanted to go back to sleep. Oli had had nothing to do since he’d arrived home, and sleeping was about as interesting as things got around his flat.

It had been two weeks since he had said goodbye to Addie in the airport. All he could try to do while he tried to carry on with his normal life was obsess over how to keep that feeling of having her close in tact. He liked that feeling that he was only able to know for a week, when he was around her. Things just felt right when he was with her, like he didn’t ever have anywhere to be, or that he could just disappear off the face of the earth with her and everything would be alright. Oli tried to keep that feeling familiar in him, remembering every little detail he observed about Addie.

The way she smiled and lit up everything within a ten foot radius of her. Or her laugh that still rung in his ears long after they would stop talking on the phone for hours at a time now. He called her once a day, usually around nine at night, her time. Something in him was always aware of the time difference, making sure that she was always off work, and that it was still an appropriate time to call, even if it meant he would be up for hours in the night. Oliver cared. A lot. Much more than he told himself he should have, but it was impossible for him not to, when he was finally reunited with someone who had meant so much to him in the past, and still obviously does.

He knew it himself, Oli had gotten too attached, too fast. After only being with her for a week, he wanted nothing more than to just spend more and more time with her, and take her out, and buy her dinner. It was all worth it if he got to see her more. Now that he was home, he couldn’t see her at all - but that was just the cost of having a crush on someone who lived thousands of miles away.

In a way, Oli hated this. He hated feeling attached and dependent, like he needs to see her to feel happy. He needs to see her radiant smile, and watch her eyes light up, and hear that infectious laugh. This is so not Oliver. Oliver is independent and careless. He can have a new girl every day, if he wanted. But he only wanted this girl. He wanted his best friend back. But this time, he wanted more than a best friend.

It was scary to want to take their friendship farther, because he wasn’t sure how Addie would take to it. Oliver saw how fragile she was. She was too delicate to be mixing in with his crowd. She needed to be taken care of, and watched after, because he was already able to tell that she couldn’t take care of herself on her own. He hated feeling like he always wanted to be there to protect her now, when he so obviously couldn’t. Addie wouldn’t do well with having a boyfriend who was always on-the-go, hanging out with people like him, people so completely opposite to Addie. She wasn’t meant for his lifestyle, she wasn’t meant for him. Was it so wrong for him to want to pursue someone who he really shouldn’t?

He knew he’d probably only end up hurting her. He’d mess up and be irresponsible, and ruin everything. He always ruined something when it was finally going great. He’d probably break her heart, and he wouldn’t be able to stand knowing he did that to her. But he wanted her. Oliver was selfish and wanted Addie for himself, because she already seemed to have enough control over his heart, he may as well hand himself completely over. He’d forget how easy it is for him to slip up and make mistakes and break hearts just so he could have her. If he could just try and forget that he could end up hurting her, then he could make it work. He’d just have to try his best not to mess up, and pray for a good outcome.

***

“Any plans for your birthday?” he asked, simultaneously checking through various emails. Oliver was on the phone with Addie, yet again. It was past two in the morning in Sheffield, but he was still wide awake, not dreaming of going to sleep until he had to hang up the phone with Addie.

“Not really,” she sighed, toying with a piece of hair that was sitting on her shoulder. “I think I was just going to go out with Dee, and maybe stop by my mom’s house. Nothing too big.”

Oliver made some sort of noise of disapproval before speaking. “C’mon, a girl’s only twenty-three once, why don’t you do somethin’ fun?”

It had been five weeks since they had been together in Springfield. Oliver was still overly infatuated with Addie, not being able to help all of the feelings that swirled around near his heart whenever he thought of her. As much as he would have used to hate to admit it, he kind of liked it. He liked the feeling of liking someone. That unfamiliar rush of new emotions and giddy smiles.

“Oliver,” she said, laughing, “this is Springfield. There is nothing fun to do here. Besides, birthdays aren’t that big of a deal anyways.”

“I disagree!” he exclaimed, laughing as well. He could imagine how her eyes were shinning right now as she laughed, he could hear her smiling through the phone. “Birthdays are rate important!”

“Well, I’m not one for parties, so that limits the options. And I’m not going out to some bar. No way.”

Oliver reclined back on his couch, letting his hair flop in whatever directions it willed to do so. He smiled small to himself, thinking once again how much different he and Addie were. They really had not a lick of anything in common. “I remember my twenty-third birthday. It were insane. Well, hell, I can’t remember much of it, actually,” he stated, laughing at the few minutes he did remember, when he wasn’t completely pissed.

“Well of course you went out and partied your ass off. You’re Mr. Rockstar. You live for that type of stuff, don’t you?” Addie commented, rolling her eyes, even though Oliver clearly wouldn’t have been able to see. “I don’t do parties. Or alcohol. Really, I just don’t. I’m low key.”

“Why don’t you at least go out and do something fun? Please, for me?” Oli bit his lip, toying with the cold metal of his lip ring. He wanted to know Addie was out having fun on her special day. Birthdays were important to him. He wanted his best friend to have fun and make tons of memories of the day dedicated to just her. He wanted to be there and enjoy it all with her, but he knew he couldn’t. It was her day, and he wasn’t going to show up and surprise her.

No, he had other plans for showing up and surprising her.

“Okay, okay,” Addie sighed, relenting. “I’ll go out and have fun, I promise. My idea of fun is vastly different than your idea though. I can guarantee it.”

They both knew her statement was true, they didn’t even have to give it a second thought. Oli liked to go out and drink with his best mates and be loud and make a scene. Addie preferred dinner at a quiet place that no one ever went to. She wanted her get togethers to feel more intimate. Oli liked to party with an entire crowd of people.

“As long as you’re happy, I’m happy,” he stated quietly, the tiredness in his voice finally showing itself.

“Okay. Good.” Addie sighed, making a mental note to make dinner reservations at a restaurant for this Friday, when her birthday was. Hopefully it wouldn’t be too booked if she tried to make them three days in advance. “Well, I can tell you’re tired. And it’s an ungodly hour over there I’m sure, so I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

Oli nodded his head, remembering that Addie couldn’t see him. “Right. Okay. Talk to you later, love.”

Addie blushed, still never able to get over the nickname that was used all over England, but felt so foreign in America. It was supposed to just be a causal word when Oli said it, but she still couldn’t help but feel excited that he was actually using the word “love” when directly speaking to her. It made her feel special, like she actually had something with him.

“G’night.” Click. Addie sighed, tossing her cell phone onto her bed where it landed with a small thud, sinking in amongst the fluffy comforter.

It was starting to get late over here, too, and she had been up since six this morning, from being called to open up Johnson’s. It had been a long day, and she was ready to crash at this point.

Nerves of what she would do on her birthday started to set in while she drifted off to sleep. She wanted to do something fun, like go on a road trip or go to some Jack Johnson concert, but neither of those were exactly possible. One, Jack Johnson wasn’t touring right now, and two, there was no way she’d have enough money for gas to get very far. So, she’d stick around town, doing nothing, like she had every other year on April sixteenth.

It would just be another day, where she happened to have entered the world, all those years ago. Did it really matter? How many other people were born on that exact same day? It didn’t really matter then, if so many other people shared the day. It didn’t make her special; she didn’t need to be pampered, or do anything out of the ordinary. Addie would just spend they day laying low, doing whatever she would on a normal day, and then it would be over, and it would be like nothing had even happened. That’s how her birthdays always went, even since she was young. They never celebrated birthdays much in the Kaston household anyways, her parents were always too busy to throw their children parties, so it was probably her upbringing that taught Addie to think this way.

Addie drifted off to sleep, her eyes closing and fluttering lightly as she thought about how three days from now she’d be a whole year older. Just another year, one more of experience. One more year of being alive and breathing. One more year of not finding what she wanted. One year closer to death.

***

It was Saturday, the day after her birthday. Addie was sitting on her couch with a book her mom suggested that she read. The sky was grey and it looked windy outside. Addie smiled to herself as she looked outside, then back inside, liking how she was curled up with a blanket. It was nice to have days like these when she didn’t have to do anything, she could just sit on her couch and read all day if she wanted, which was exactly what she was going to do today.

Her phone that was sitting on the coffee table started vibrating loudly, making Addie jump from the sudden loud noise. Her phone was scooting around on the smooth surface of the table, sliding around as it vibrated. Someone was calling.

“Hello?” Addie asked, not reading the caller ID as she flipped her phone open quickly.

“Hey,” a voice said, sounding rather distraught. It was Oli. Addie wondered why he was calling, for it was only two in the afternoon, much earlier than the times he normally rang her.

“Oli?” she questioned, even though she knew it was him. “What’s up?”

He chuckled on the other end of the line, Addie wasn’t quite sure why.

“Look, how quick can you get to the airport?” he asked breathlessly. Addie still wondered why he was calling now, sounding out of breath and a little off.

“Uhm, half an hour?” Addie replied, wary of what was going on. Oliver called out of the blue, sounding exasperated on the phone. What was happening?

“Good. I need you to pick up a package for me,” he said, trying to sound casual as he spoke, thanking God that Addie couldn’t see him right now.

“Okay?” She agreed, still trying to figure out what he was planning. What was going on?

“Call me when you get there, alright?” he inquired, a serious tone in his voice. He had to make sure that he sounded convincing, because if he slipped up at all, the fun would be over.

“Will do, Oli.”

He hung up, without saying goodbye. Addie was a little put off by this, frowning as she tried to figure out what the hell was going on, and why Oli was being so strange. He never called before five her time, and picking up a package at the airport certainly was out of the ordinary. Of course, then Addie reminded herself she was dealing with Oli Sykes, and from what she had known for so long, he was anything but ordinary. This one was full of surprises, and now she couldn’t help but wonder what he had in store for her now.

Addie drove to the airport, her mind racing as to why Oliver wanted her to show up at the airport on such short notice, to pick up a package. Was he mailing her something? Wouldn’t it come in the mail, then? Too many questions burned in her mind, and she was going to give him an earful about it once she called him back.

“I’m here, Oliver. What the hell am I doing here?” Addie asked, this time sounding exasperated and annoyed. She was still confused, not liking being in the dark about the situation.

“I told you, you’re picking up a package,” he said, laughing into the phone. His smile was audible, his hair blowing in the chilly wind as he stood outside, his phone glued to his hand. The wind whipped around him, making his hair fly into his face, and his jacket flap around.

“And what does this package look like?” she asked coyly, pulling up in front of the main entrance of the airport, spotting the back of someone who looked a little more than familiar.

“It’s… kinda tall, dark hair, lots of tattoos,” Oliver replied, laughing hard as he turned around. His eyes linked with Addie’s, as he spotted her sitting in her car just a few feet away from him. She was smiling wide, eyes gleaming like they held the sun inside of them, he could tell even from this far away.