What We Used To Know

Oliver was in Addie’s car within moments of spotting each other, sitting in the passenger seat, grinning like a fool. His heart was racing three times its normal pace, his excitement levels running through the roof of the car as he sat next to Addie, taking everything in about her that he had missed in the past six weeks of being with her.

It could have been said that Addie felt the same way. She was smiling that smile that really got Oli going, making him blatantly stare at her while she tried harder than anything to focus on the road. It would be in their best interest if she kept her eyes on the road, rather than on Oliver. Neither would be too fond of a car wreck.

“So-so what are you doing here?!” Addie sputtered out, her words getting caught up in her throat as she tried to force them out, all of her own excitement making it hard to think straight. Her heart was pounding against her ribs, her eyes twinkling, and her smile never faltering as she drove back towards home, her first instinct of where to go next.

“I’m ‘ere for a surprise… and for your birthday,” he said, trying to keep it cool and collected. He may have been on a rush right now, sitting in the same car now with the girl who had unknowingly stolen his heart, but he wanted to act like everything was normal - God forbid he break that exterior of his any time soon.

“You came all the way out here, just for my birthday?” she asked, a little hint of disbelief saturating her voice as she spoke. It was hard to believe that someone - anyone, let alone Oliver - would fly all the way across an ocean, just to be out here for her birthday, even if he was a day late.

“Well, not just for your birthday. I mean, I’m a day late. I came out today ‘cause I though it would be best if I just let you have your day to yourself, then came out the next day. I mean, you’re more surprised I came out today, rather than yesterday, right?” he said, chuckling a bit. That was all in the plan. Oli figured that it would have been weird to just show up on her birthday, crashing any plans she may have had. Plus, it would be more random if he came out the next day.

“I must admit, I am completely surprised,” Addie said, laughing. The noise filled up the interior of the car, forced to stay trapped inside the automobile. “I wasn’t expecting to see you again… so soon. I mean, I didn’t know when or if I would see you again.”

Oliver’s smile faltered a bit when he heard her say those last few words. Did she really think that he would just leave his best friend like that, never coming back for her again? No, he wasn’t letting her get away that easily, like last time. He wanted to be here for good, he wanted to be best friends with Addie for good.

“I was bound to come back sooner or later, love,” he replied, making Addie blush at the word ‘love’. “I couldn’t stand not havin’ you around. We’re not gonna have a last time, where I don’t see you again for ten years.”

It was quiet in the car after that, when Addie didn’t know what to say. Her thoughts were buzzing around inside of her head, but nothing was coming out of her mouth. She just wanted to take in Oliver’s presence again, after missing it for so long. Just the way she could feel him sitting there was enough to make her heart swell, even if she wished that she didn’t feel this way about him. It was more than scary for her to be feeling like this; feeling like she wanted to be more than best friends with him.

He wouldn’t want the same, would he? Addie discouraged herself from thinking about the subject any longer, focusing on the fact that Oliver was back again, making her feel like life was amazing, and that nothing was wrong in her life when he was around.

“Where are you staying?” Addie asked lightly, her eyes flickering from the road for a second to look over to where Oliver sat, hands in his lap fidgeting around, his eyes flitting over to meet hers. He smiled for no reason, just looking at her.

“I was thinkin’ about just stayin’ at that same hotel from last time. Haven’t made any reservations yet though,” he admitted, laughing, and praying that they would have a room for him.

“Oliver,” she said in a semi-stern voice, turning to look at him again. “I refuse to let you pay to stay at a hotel, when you came all the way across a freaking ocean just for me. Stay at my place.”

‘Stay at my place’ wasn’t a suggestion, it was a demand. Addie didn’t want Oliver wasting even more money when he had come all this way, just for her birthday. It wouldn’t be right for her to make him stay a few blocks away from her, when he was here just for her. Plus, she could use the company around her place. Dee hadn’t been over much lately, and Addie liked the feeling and aura that Oliver brought the last times he was in her apartment. He made it feel full of life and like there was actually something going on in her life.

“Are you sure?” he asked slowly, not really sure if this would be the best idea. It was no doubt he’d love to stay with her, but what would happen? Would it be awkward? What about when they slept? Addie only had one bedroom… and one bed.

“Totally sure,” she replied, turning off of the freeway and onto the main road that took her back home. “It would only be fair. Besides, what’s the point of coming out here to spend time with me, when you stay somewhere else? I’ll take the couch, and you can take my bed.”

“No no no,” Oliver heartily objected. “Uh uh. You take your bed, I’ll take the couch. No way I’m making you give up your own bed for me!”

He laughed, wondering how it would work for him to sprawl out on Addie’s small leather couch. He would do it though, if it meant that he would get to spend even more time with Addie.

“Fine, if that’s what your little heart desires,” Addie said, laughing as she did. She had no idea where the phrase ‘what your little heart desires’ came from, and felt like a loser after the words immediately left her mouth. She wanted to be daring enough to say that Oliver could just sleep in her bed with her, but didn’t have the guts to do it. What if he didn’t want to? It would be kind of weird, she thought. Sleeping in such close proximity to Oliver… What if she couldn’t help herself, and ended up doing something she’d regret, like trying to kiss him?

In order to avoid all of that together, she decided against saying anything else about their sleeping arrangements. Though the little voice in her head was telling her to, because of how much she enjoyed sleeping with him on the floor last time, and nothing happened then. Still, she was mum.

“What do you wanna do once we drop off your stuff?” she asked Oliver, breaking the silence that had been between them for the past five minutes. It wasn’t an awkward silence, the only kind that Addie seemed to know. It was like they were both just comfortable sitting there, not saying a word, but enjoying every minute of being together. That was just it though, as long as they were together, everything was fine. They didn’t need to say anything to make it feel like they were actually doing something.

“How about we grab a bite to eat, ‘cause I’m starvin’,” Oliver said, chuckling as his stomach gave a grumble.

It was barely starting to get dark outside, the sun still in sight, but slowly setting.

“Okay,” Addie agreed, feeling hungry as well. “What do you want? There’s not a whole lot. But you remember all the stuff from last time, right?”

They were pulling up into the apartment complex garages, Addie finding her designated spot before pulling in and turning off the engine. They sat in complete silence as Oliver pondered what he wanted for dinner, not being able to think all too clearly when Addie was sitting so close to him, just looking at him.

“How about that little Italian place we went to once? I liked it there,” he said, trailing off slowly, shutting his mouth when he watched Addie, just looking at him. Her eyes were big, sparkling like always, blinking every few seconds while they watched him. She wore a tiny smile, a memory of eating dinner last time with Oliver and Alexander’s Italian Restaurant flooding back into her mind.

Addie nodded, getting out of the car and heading to the trunk, Oliver doing the same. He pulled his bag out, resting the strap on his shoulder while following behind Addie as she walked in front of him, out of the garage. He couldn’t help but involuntarily look at her behind as she walked, unknowingly swaying her hips. Those jeans certainly did her justice, was all Oliver could think about, hardly noticing that they were inside Addie’s apartment now.

He dropped off his medium-sized duffel bag on the floor near the couch in her living room. Memories of his first and last night sleeping in Addie’s apartment flooding back to his mind as he stood there for a moment, looking at the floor. All he could think about was how hard it was for him to restrain from wrapping his arms around her that night, and holding her close. That was all he had wanted to do since the day he came out here, all those weeks ago. He just wanted to hold her close, all the time. It was just that feeling that he had that made him need to have her close all the time, like he needed her for survival or something.

Then he snapped back into reality when Addie shut a cupboard door, reminding him to stop being a pansy.

***

After a dish of supreme pasta each, and a few too many glasses of wine, Addie and Oliver were stumbling back into her apartment building. Their moves were clumsy and slow, making Addie giggle when Oliver would casually bump into her while they walked up the stairs, trying to keep their balance as they ascended up to her floor. He played it off on his inebriation, the wine being a perfect scapegoat for his behavior. Yes, he was using that to his own benefit, enjoying every time Addie would giggle because he brushed against her.

Her laugh was melodic in the darkness of her apartment, all of the lights turned off. It made the place come to life, since her radiant smile was unable to be seen in the pitch black.

It was getting late now, almost eleven p.m. Needless to say, they had spent quite the time at the restaurant, talking about anything and everything while they grew accustomed to the feeling again of being close with one another.

Addie turned around now in the dark, meaning to flip the light switch so she and Oliver were no longer standing in the dark, but she bumped into him instead. She smiled a little, giggling awkwardly as she looked up at him now, watching him as he stood there, not moving an inch. He just looked down at her, too, noticing the way her eyes were shining, even in the dark.

Oli thought of how beautiful she looked right now, just looking up at him with a goofy smile on her face. Her hair was sitting on her shoulders like it always did, her eyes big and shining, and her smile just barely able to be seen with no light source.

Both of their eyes closed, Oliver leaning down a few inches, while Addie raised on to her tiptoes. Their lips met in the dark. At first, it was slow. They were testing out the waters, seeing how the other would react during this. But they both finally were experiencing what they had wanted now for so long, All they had dreamed about since they walked back into each other’s lives was happening now.

It became more rushed though, urgent almost. The kiss grew with more passion, Oliver’s hands finding their way to Addie’s hips where they rested. She grabbed his hands though, a momentary thought of how when she was young, that never in her lifetime would she have predicted that she would have been kissing her best friend. It was happening now though, and the scary part, was that it felt right.

She was holding his hands, guiding him backwards in the dark as they made their way to Addie’s room. Their lips never disconnected on the way to her dark room, the door seeming to swing open on its own. Their hands still held each other, breaking apart only when Addie had leaned back onto her bed, laying down as Oliver climbed atop the bed as well. Shoes were kicked off in the process, their lips teasing now, moving up and down each other’s jaw bones.

In just seconds though, Addie sobered up. Oliver’s hands were starting to move under her shirt, playing with the hem of the material as he got vastly ahead of himself. He didn’t even seem to have control of himself anymore; he was reverting back to his autopilot-self that knew how to woo the ladies in all the right ways.

Addie wasn’t just any lady though. He should have known that from the start.

“No no no,” Addie breathed, breaking apart from the kiss, panting and out of breath. “Let’s not do this. N-not tonight.”

Oliver stopped immediately, withdrawing his hands from under Addie’s shirt, his eyes locking on hers. He wanted so badly to ask ‘Why?’ but he knew that would probably be the stupidest thing he could have done at that moment. She wouldn’t look up into his eyes for a few moments, and when she did the answer was in her stare. She was scared. Oliver could tell. He must have crossed over some sort of boundary now, and managed to frighten her.

Great, he thought, just great. I’ve managed to scare her now.

He hoped with everything that it wasn’t because they had suddenly just rushed things to a point they previously never would have thought they would have made it to. Oliver was scared that Addie realized she didn’t want this kind of relationship with him, and was backing out now. But he had to tell himself that those weren’t any of the problems. She had kissed him, and oh, did she kiss him back.

Addie pecked him on the lips once more, just a gesture for her to say that everything was still alright, without having to say anything. Indeed, she was scared. She was absolutely terrified in that moment, scared of what would come next. She knew that she would give in and take it too far, possibly giving the last piece of herself to Oliver without him even knowing it. He didn’t know such details about her, and he didn’t need to, not now, anyways.

So she did the only thing she could, which was to stop him, in order to prevent herself from making a mistake. Addie still wasn’t sure how she completely felt about Oliver, although it was more than obvious now which ways she thought about him.

After years of being separated, and only months of being reunited, all of those feeling that were once platonic - ten years ago - were slowly creeping into her heart, and settling there. Addie was afraid that for once, she may have fallen for someone. This being the first time, she fell hard.