What We Used To Know

“Merry Christmas,” Oliver whispered in Addie’s ear, surprising her as she was brewing a steaming cup of peppermint hot cocoa in the kitchen. She jumped a little, feeling his warm arms come in contact with the exposed skin of her middle. The cup she was holding jarred a bit, sending some steaming cocoa onto her skin. She bit her lip, trying not to squeal in pain as she smiled and felt Oliver kiss the side of her head.

“Merry Christmas to you, too, Oliver,” she said softly, still waking up. It was ten in the morning and they had both just risen from bed moments prior. “Can you believe it’s Christmas already?”

“Hardly,” he breathed, reaching over her shoulder and stealing a candy cane from the small cup they were kept in, right next to the cocoa mix. “But I’m so glad I’m spending it with you. I wouldn’t have wanted my holiday any other way.”

This caused Addie to smile, blushing ferociously as she pulled some hair around her face and ducking her head, intently focusing on mixing the cocoa in her cup. Oliver caught it though, smiling widely and giving her side a squeeze. Addie jumped again, laughing, and brought the mug of hot chocolate to her lips as Oliver started up the coffee machine. Addie never drank coffee, for the taste never appealed to her. That’s why she always had a stash of tea lurking in the cupboards, while Oliver had bags of pre-ground coffee waiting for him every morning.

Addie thought while she sipped her hot cocoa about what it would have been like spending Christmas in Springfield. Well, it would have been like every other year, for the past eleven or so years now. Her aunts would relentlessly question about where she was going in life, and why she hadn’t gotten a “real job” yet, or started schooling; that was their favorite past time during family gatherings - picking Addie apart. The entire night was painful, watching her deteriorating grandmother sitting there, watching her line of daughters and granddaughter fight, bicker, and try to survive the night.

She felt a pang of guilt for not being there for her mother.

She surprisingly got on well with Oliver’s friends last night at the Christmas party, making her think that it was good for her to be here. People were friendly, chatting up the couple, wondering where the red plastic cup that was an Oliver Sykes trademark was. He had abstained from drinking the entire night, a shock to most of his friends, but he would feel more than guilty for leaving Addie alone with a house full of strangers, and a drunk boyfriend.

Sheffield was where she was meant to be though, for the time being at least. When she decided to move over here, she was terrified about how well she would or would not get along with Oliver’s friends. But when they all accepted her - after seeing how elated she made Oliver - things felt right. She may have been without her mother now, but there was a whole new family to be found back in Sheffield.

Oliver noticed how quiet Addie was being, knowing right away that there was a lot on her mind. She didn’t normally stare into the contents of her cup over just any matter.

“What’s goin’ on, love?” he asked softly, reaching out and touching her arm while grabbing his smoking cup of coffee, looking at her. His hair was sticking up in every direction, he was shirtless, and it was more than apparent that he had just woken up.

“Nothing,” she replied instantly. It was an automatic response at this point, but it wasn’t what she had meant to say. It was just those years of never quite letting onto anything that had structured this response to every time she was asked ‘what’s going on’. “I mean, I just… miss my mom, that’s all.”

“Give her a call tonight,” Oli suggested, smiling a little. “It’s been a while since you talked to her, hasn’t it?”

Addie nodded, feeling guilty now that it had been at least five days since she last paid a phone call to her mother. She tried to call twice a week, but things got hectic keeping up with Oliver, even though most of the time they could just sit around and enjoy being in the other’s company.

“I’ll do that,” she said airily, not really thinking about the words coming out of her mouth. “What time are we supposed to head to your parents’?”

“Noon,” Oliver replied, smoothing his hair down unsuccessfully with one hand.

“Well we better start getting ready then,” Addie giggled, “and I call the shower first!” She laughed, dashing off into their bedroom and to the bathroom. The closed the door behind her, not bothering to lock it, before starting up the shower. There wasn’t much of a point in closing the door anyways, because Oliver had stormed in by the time Addie was stepping into the shower. His devilish grin was infectious as he quickly slipped out of his boxers, and into the shower with a squealing Addie who claimed ‘nothing would get done’ if he was in there with her.

After they were out of the shower and dressed, gathering presents to be taken to Oliver’s parents’ house, Addie had something she had been needing to share. It was something that she had been meaning to get around to since her arrival, but spending time with Oliver prevented it.

“Oliver, I need a job,” she stated, looking around the flat at all of the furniture and open space. She had been up to nothing since she moved in, and felt the urge to finally do something with her time. When Oliver left for band practice, or to go meet up with someone, she was left alone with nothing to do. It was time for her to get out and finally start being active in her community again.

“Well we can’t exactly go lookin’ for one today, love,” Oliver said, chuckling and ruffling his freshly straightened hair. He was holding the few packages he had for his parents, his brother, and the one for Addie.

“I know that,” she said, “but I just need something to do with my time. What am I supposed to do when you go off? I don’t want to sit alone like some pathetic loser, even if I am one. Besides, I hate knowing how lazy I am, and that I’m living off of you. It shouldn’t be like that.”

“Is that what you’re concerned about? Addie, there’s no problems with that. You don’t have to get a job if you never even want to.”

“But I do want one. I have no life, Oliver. I didn’t go to college, I have no degree. There’s not a lot I can do.”

“I know a record store that you just might love,” he suggested, hoping Addie would take to this idea. He understood how she felt. She would be by herself in the coming weeks, and she needed to stay occupied, or else they both knew what was going to happen should she have her thoughts to herself long enough. “I know the owner, and I bet I can nab you a place. Sound alright?”

“It sounds perfect,” she said, smiling, liking the idea that soon she’d be able to fill her days being surrounded by CDs and music once again. She needed to get a life, and start getting herself together, because when she was living alone while Oliver was on tour, she needed to stay busy.

***

They were both in the car, the heat turned on full blast while the sky was a dooming grey color. Oliver was driving slowly in the snow, taking caution as he navigated the empty streets. Everyone else was inside with their families already, together inside around the fireplace probably, telling stories of Christmases past.

Addie was looking outside of her window, her head pressed against the glass while they rode in silence. They only had days until the new year, which marked Oliver’s first tour since Addie lived with him. That was the only thing she could think about, trying to use every moment with Oliver to its fullest, not wanting to overlook a single detail about him that she would surely miss when he was gone.

She dug her phone from her pocket, opening it up and sending a quick text message. Oliver watched her from the corner of his eyes, wondering who she could have been sending a possible holiday greeting to. Probably one of her friends in the States. He dismissed the thought, keeping his eyes on the road when seconds later,

“Tuesday night, at the bible study. We lift our hands and pray over your body” chimed through the car, coming from the pocket of his jeans.

Addie’s head turned to Oliver, a sly smile on her lips as she watched him dig the phone out of his pocket while simultaneously driving the vehicle. “Is that…” she trailed off, that smile still on her lips as she peered at Oliver.

“Casimir Pulaski Day?” he finished, smiling as well, albeit it a sheepish smile. “Yeah, it is.”

“So you really did listen to those albums you bought forever ago?” she questioned, while he let the phone rest in his lap while he continued driving, trying to keep his eyes on the road, slyly knowing who the message was from. Addie remembered his first visit to Springfield, when he surprised her at work, and ended up purchasing albums from her three favorite artists, people Addie thought Oliver would never end up listening to. But somehow, she liked knowing he actually gave them a listen, because for once, that gave them something in common.

“I told you I don’t spend forty bucks on albums I won’t listen to. I listened to every one of ‘em, Addie. But I really like that uh, Soofyan guy,” Oliver said, the pronunciation of Sufjan Stevens’ name getting wildly distorted inside of his mouth. He smiled sheepishly again for not being able to correctly say Addie’s favorite artist’s name. “You like him a lot, don’t you?”

Addie smiled, thinking of all the songs of his she loved. But “Casimir Pulaski Day” was by far the most beautiful, and her favorite. “Yeah, he’s amazing. That song though, that’s my favorite of his.”

“That’s what I thought,” Oliver said, smiling. That’s exactly why he picked that ringer for Addie. He listened to it over and over again every time he missed her, just because it reminded him of her, even if it made him want to cry like a child when he really listened to the lyrics. “So why did you send me a text?” he questioned, not even having to look down at his phone to know it was her who sent the message. No one else got that ringtone; it was reserved solely for Addie.

“How did you…? Oh,” Addie said, realizing at that moment as Oliver glanced at her with a large smile that that certain song was for her only. She smiled, “Just read it, silly.”

And Oliver did, unlocking the phone and reading the message.

Merry christmas, oliver. <3 you.

He smiled big, looking over at Addie. “Thank you, love.”

Addie got the feeling that maybe she should have actually typed out ‘I love you’ and tacked it onto the end of the message, but she just couldn’t do it. She had never said I love you to anyone before, save her mother. This was still gravely foreign territory with she and Oliver, never touched upon just yet. She couldn’t help but think that it felt right to say it, but she just wasn’t ready. There was no way those words would becoming out of her mouth any time soon, but yet she ached to say them.

They stopped in front of a house, and Addie guessed it was Oliver’s parents. This wasn’t the same street they lived on when they were kids, and Addie thanked God for that. Just weeks ago seeing her old house, the scene of the crime, made her well up with tears from thinking about being in front of it. It was the drama the put an immediate stress on their relationship until Oliver apologized ten times more than necessary, trying to make up for his biggest mistake. He even still apologized for scarring her again, just realizing for the hundredth time that he was not good for he. He messed up, and hurt her. But he was trying to do what was right.

“Addie, look,” Oliver started out, raking a hand through his hair and sighing. “I’m really, really sorry. About taking you back… there a few weeks ago. I shouldn’t have, and I should have apologized for it more than I did, so I am now. I want you to know it was a mistake, and I promise we never have to ever go there again, or talk about it, or think about it.”

It was then that Oliver realized he should stop talking about it when he saw the look on Addie’s face.

“So we’re done with it now, and we can move on!” he said, trying to lighten the mood, earning a small smile from Addie. It was that promise he made to her that made him in turn realize how much he was in for with Addie. She was highly fragile, and just one wrong phrase could likely send her into hysterics. Something in him - shockingly enough - realized that he was going to have to be the responsible, stable one in this relationship. The most shocking part, was that he was alright with it.

Getting the drinking, partying, screaming Oliver Sykes to be responsible was never something anyone intended to happen, and yet he was willingly hading himself over.

***

Christmas with the Sykes was an experience Addie was by far grateful to be a part of. They felt like an actual family, compared to her weird old aunts who had nothing better to do than pick apart her life while they sat around the table devouring the ham. Oliver’s parents were welcoming, relaxed, and right away accepted their son’s girlfriend. The looks in their eyes said they automatically knew that Addie was going to be someone great for Oliver, especially with the way he never shut up about her to them.

Everyone was smiling and laughing, sharing old memories from when Addie and Oliver were kids, and ‘the cutest pair of best friends’.

“Okay, okay, okay! Presents time!” Carol chimed, standing up from her place on the couch next to her husband, Ian. Everyone was smiling now, excited to see what gifts they would receive.

Carol divvied out the presents to their owner-to-be, sitting back on the couch while she had her own gifts resting in her lap, Ian sitting next to her with something waiting for him, as well. Oliver and Addie had gotten everyone gifts together, making it one gift from the both of them, just to make it easier. Addie hoped with everything that if the Sykes did decide to get her something, they did it as a whole.

Tom got film supplies and a new jacket from his parents, as well as a new videogame and an invite to test it out on the big screen back at Oliver and Addie’s flat.

Carol and Ian had received just items to be used around the house from Tom, Oliver, and Addie. There was nothing they wanted more than just having their children with them during the holidays, but Oliver insisted they could never be without the aid of whatever invention he bought for them.

Oliver unwrapped a new hoodie from his parents, a videogame from Tom, which they then discussed having a marathon to test them out, and a stack of comic books from Addie, the exact ones he had been searching for, for months. All of the gifts combined made him smile like a maniac, especially knowing how much trouble Addie must have gone through to get her hands on the comic books.

Addie ended up with a few CDs and a book or two from Carol and Ian and Tom. Oliver obviously must have told them she was a lit and music freak, for they were all great books and music that Addie had been meaning to check out for weeks. But it was Oliver’s present that made her go weak in the heart. It was a tiny box, cardboard and small, and she was half-expecting to find chalky candy hearts in it again. But what she found was so much better. There were two tickets to see Sufjan Stevens on March 21st, the coming year, at the House of Blues, in Chicago.

Addie almost squealed in delight and sheer happiness, but tried to tone it down for fear of embarrassing herself. She was speechless, letting her smile and bright eyes speak for herself. Oliver went on to explain that he found out Sufjan was doing a tiny tour, and that the tickets weren’t even due to go on sale until February, but he got his hands on them, promising not to be on tour so that he could take her back home for a few days to see one of her favorite singers. It was the best present Addie could have imagined, honestly.

When they walked out of the house, it was already dark outside, icy, and snowing. Oliver had his arm wrapped around Addie’s waist to keep a hold of her, walking down the front path of the Sykes’ residence to his car. He was only glad that they moved once he finished secondary, so that Addie would never have to go near her old home again. That day still burned brightly in his mind, making him shudder for a second while his arm loosed around Addie.

It was right then that she felt a wave of pain surge through her leg, originating around her kneecap. It was the most physical pain she had ever been in, and her breathing slowed to a halt as she clutched at her knee, falling over into the snow.

Oliver was shocked, instantly dropping the presents he had in his hands to the ground to extend them to Addie, helping her to her feet after reassuring she was able to stand. She was panting and tears were welling up in her eyes, making Oliver shoot her a questioning look. Addie tried to play it off, not knowing what in the world happened, and tried her best not to give Oliver any more worries that he had to deal with for her.

This pain was just the beginning of another adventure, and she wasn’t even aware it was happening.