Confusion Girl

I was browsing over the collection of CDs listed out in front of me, trying to find something worth listening to which I could sneak into Jo’s car (my temporary taxi). There was no way that I was going to get back in there when he was blasting out his ‘Metallica’ nonsense which burnt my eardrums. How anybody could endure a man screaming profusely at them I had no clue – why not just go smash your Dad’s car or something, then you’d be sure to get an earful. But I supposed Jo lacked the balls and he ‘concentrated better’ with a certain edge to his music. Not that his band played anything of the sort.

“Do you need any help?” a man’s deep voice roused me from the trance my own thoughts had put me under. Blinking up at him, I quickly caught a few wisps of dark hair in my impaired vision before a scream had me reeling in shock. In total blind confusion and oversensitive reflexes, my body threw itself somewhat back into the rack of CDs which quivered with the impact.

“Shit,” I cursed angrily. A few cases fell as the object teetered slightly.

“Here,” the man, who worked at this music shop according to his cheesy badge, put out both arms to help push the rack back up. Blushing an awful shade of red, I stepped back to allow him to replace all that had been changed by my clumsiness – I didn’t trust myself to alter anything in case it ended up broken.

“I am so so sorry,” my heart was beating hard and it was nice to have it quicken at something other than Alec’s presence. So nice in fact that I remained standing beside this man instead of scarpering off.

“It’s totally fine, that scream could’ve scared anyone shitless. Excuse my language.” It was then that I remembered the said scream and looked around for the guilty girl as if this would offer proof for me not just being clumsy.

“So is there a particular CD you’re looking for or do you just enjoy giving guys like me extra work?” he smiled brilliantly. Flushing yet again, I suddenly realised this guy was actually really attractive. Trust Elizabeth-Brooke to completely overlook this and jump into a crate of CDs. That probably impressed him half to death. “I’m only joking, actually you’ve pretty much lit up today. I’m sick of explaining to music nut jobs we don’t sell wolf howling CDs and slogging away trying to keep Taylor Swift in stock. It’s pretty clear that we make half our income off of her.”

I smiled, trying to hold in the laugh of delight.

“What I really meant to say,” his hand subconsciously rose to trace a pattern on his neck “is that you just made my day.”

“And that’s not just because you have a great story to tell your colleagues about some girl who jumped into your display?” I laughed, relishing the feel of it. It seemed such a long time that anybody had truly made me laugh.

“No it’s mainly to the fact that you’re so damn pretty,” nervously he twiddled with the ends of his neat dark hair. A few butterflies danced within my stomach and the shock of that alone had me struck dumb.

“I’m Elizabeth-Brooke,” I introduced slowly.

“Elizabeth-Brooke… maybe this is really quick and all but I suppose impulse gets you places so… could I have your number?”

Normally I would say no without even batting a lash but those damn butterflies were still waltzing. No boy had even stirred so much of a blush out of me for three years, minus Alec, and my very own impulse brought forth my mobile.

“Thanks,” his cute one-sided smile automatically had me grinning too. It seemed we were stuck in some smiling competition which neither of us particularly minded losing. I licked over my lips eventually, pulling my gaze away from him in his chequered grey shirt and black jeans to grab the first CD on my left.

“I’ll be checking this out now,” my eyes met his coyly and I allowed myself one final smirk.

“Taylor Swift? Don’t tell me you’re one of those types.”

“The type that keeps you in business?” I challenged, not one for being submissive.

“The type that buys Swift so that they can look cool.”

“I’ve never been cool,” I snorted “and I’ll have you know I liked Taylor Swift way before she became big in the UK.”

“Explains your accent.”

“Explains my clumsiness,” I laughed and thought back to all my university friends who could barely put one foot in front of the other. We moved over to the cashier and he ran my CD.

“You’ll have to explain that to me more over dinner sometime,” we both smirked. “Here’s your Taylor Swift,” he passed over the small bag.

“Don’t I owe you something mister?”

“Free for you, anyway we’ve exploited her enough for one day.”

It was only when my feet made it out into the parking lot did I realise I hadn’t even gotten his name. Curiously, I scrolled down my list of contacts to see ‘Carlos’ tapped in between Beverly and Christopher.

Carlos.

Even his name had me beaming.

A horn honked angrily, breaking me from any sweet dreams my mind had conjured up. I rolled my eyes. Those boys were so damn impatient.

I cut across the few empty parking spaces to reach Jo’s shitty car and flop into the back seat. All intense eyes were instantly on me.

“Put this in.” I demanded of Jo who obediently took my CD from my outstretched hand.

“Eliza!” Tom threw his arms around dramatically from the passenger’s seat “guess what happened to us while you were talking to lover boy.”

“Lover boy?” I scoffed before feeling my cheeks heat up.

“Music shop guy. Y’know the tall dark handsome one?” Tom and Jo mock swooned, dodging my hand when I tried to swat them. It was only after an awkward silence descended upon the car did I recognise that Alec had spoken from beside me. I’d been so wrapped up in Carlos that I hadn’t even acknowledged his powerful presence which was something I normally documented straight away. For a split second longer than necessary, he glared at me.

“I can’t guess what happened to you,” I deliberately turned away from Alec to address Tom again.

“We got chased by a mob of screaming girls,” he seemed proud of this.

That explained the sudden scream which had made me nearly wet myself. So I owed my meeting of Carlos partially to the sullen blonde boy sighing heavily next to me.

“Can we just get out of here?” Alec’s tone was sharp. Nobody had a comeback for the unease which radiated off of him so just remained quiet, Jo putting the car into reverse.

I smiled to myself and rested my head back on the rest. Warm fingers quickly brushed against my upturned palm with an abrupt “sorry,” from Alec. It wasn’t mumbled or sarcastic but serious. So level toned that I found myself staring into his light eyes, wondering if he could ever mean it more than just an accidental movement.

Sorry.

“I’m over it,” I lied, not knowing what I was referring to anymore. My hand still tingled where his touch had been and the meagre butterflies from earlier had been joined by the entire swarm. How could I even contemplate giving Carlos a chance if Alec still had so much effect on me?

I couldn’t look away from him. His face was just so desperately sad as if it were him who’d had his heart broken.

The first few notes of ‘fearless’ echoed around the silent car, giving me the strength and willpower to turn away. I’d had enough of staring our past in the face like that. It really was time to heed my own words and get over it. Carlos was just what would help me. Carlos was just what I needed. But it wasn’t Carlos that I really wanted.