Confusion Girl

His Pov.

We stormed onto the stage to an uproarious amount of applause.

The Pretending had really taken off this past year. It was the best feeling in the world to be able to gaze across an entire stadium of your fans; hear them scream and read their banners mainly consisting of ‘Marry me Alec’. Well… it was almost the best feeling in the world.

It had been two whole years since I’d lost Lizz. Well lost wasn’t really the appropriate word for it, pushed was a better fit. I’d pushed her away because I was scared.

I was scared and I was reluctant.

Of course I knew that I loved her but I was 18. Love meant a lot of things then all of which she fulfilled for me and I was truly infatuated with her. She was and will always remain to me, perfect.

But perfection has the ability to scar everything around it. The band was beginning to star in bigger venues and a record label had already approached us with a mind blowing deal that we were all too eager to accept. We already knew then that great things lay in wait for us and we desperately didn’t want to be known as guys from a crappy small town buried away in the USA. We wanted to be taken seriously.

We cut all ties to Massachusetts that we had accumulated in our lives. For Tom and Jo and John that just meant leaving College but for me it took on a whole new meaning. I had to ditch Lizz.

I would always claim after that I did it for the band but deep down I knew it was because I was a coward. I was too scared to admit that I loved her more than I would anybody else, even to myself, and I didn’t want her to leave me. If we became extremely big and popular would her feelings for me remain as rigid and secure as mine?

My ego was being threatened. How would it react if I were dumped by Lizz? I just couldn’t take that chance and so I told her it was over even if my insides were screaming at me for lying.

I drove for miles and miles all night without any real direction. When I finally pulled over there were tears sparkling down my cheeks; I hadn’t cried for years so the sensation caught me off guard. Memories of her ran through my head like a heartbreaking movie. I remembered our first kiss made too passionate by my uncontrollable hormones. I remembered all of the letters I sent to her before any realization dawned on either of us. I remembered how holding her in my arms felt and how beautiful she looked under a sky that we painted our own shades of blue.

Fuck it.

With that single thought I turned the car around and sped at speeds all too high back to Massachusetts. I knew what a huge fucking mistake I’d made.

When I finally pulled up before her house it was 7 the next morning. I hadn’t slept a wink but that hardly mattered as I jumped stealthily out to run to her door. A groggy woman opened the door and gave me a hard cold stare.

“She’s already gone” her mother spoke harshly.

“Where?” my heart hit the bottom of my stomach.

“England. Don’t even try contacting her because she’ll have changed her number by now, just let her go.”

Just let her fucking go? That was unthinkable, preposterous, and completely unethical but I had no choice. There really was no getting in touch with her. Even Jo didn’t know where his cousin was.

“You ready to rock Texas?” I called out to the thousands of screams that erupted. I rocked the guitar comfortably in my hands before strumming the cords to our most recent song: Lost Star.

“And she’s nothing more than a lost star floating passed my lonely world” I sang out with John, all the while memories of her beautiful body sauntering along by my window flew before my eyes.