Baby It's Fact

"Mom?" I asked.

I could imagine her rolling her eyes.

"No, Alexander, it's the tooth fairy."

No prizes for guessing where I got my sarcasm from.

"Tooth fairy? Hey, you still owe me from 1994!"

"Alexander." My mom's tone was warning now. My distraction techniques were not working.

"Mom...I can't hear you! The signal's breaking up!" I improvised wildly. The others were shaking their heads. I hung up quickly.

"What?" I asked. A few moments later, Jack's phone started ringing.

"Alex, you idiot! If your mom knows, my mom knows!" he hissed.

"I didn't tell anybody!"

"Well then who did?"

"I don't know!"

Zack interrupted us.

"Someone answer that goddamn phone!"

We ignored him and continued bickering. He sighed.

"Hey Mrs B! You want Jack? He's right here."

He passed the phone. Jack held it like it was toxic.

"Hey Mommy." he said, innocently. I gestured at him to put it on speaker-phone.

"Well?"

"Well what?" he replied, still acting innocent.

"My little boy gets married and I don't even get invited?"

"Erm, yeah about that..."

Jack's mother laughed.

"Sweets, it's OK. You just could've told your father and I."

I mouthed "Mommy's boy" at Jack. He grinned and flipped me off.

"We just didn't think that you'd approve, you know?"

Mrs Barakat sounded hurt.

"Jack Bassam Barakat, why would I not approve? You're my son and as long as Alex makes you happy, then I'm happy. Now where's my son-in-law?"

"You're ditching me?!" Jack exclaimed.

"Just give the phone to him."

"Alex, it's for you!" he called, pretending that I was far away.

"Hey Mrs B."

"Alex, you're my son-in-law. It's either Mom or Sandra."

"Hey Sandra." I said meekly.

"Now, I expect that you'll treat my son well. Break his heart and May will break your legs." she chuckled. Jack's sister was quite strong-that or I was weak.

"I won't break his heart, Sandra."

Rian and Zack awwed in the background.

"Is that Rian and Zack? Tell Rian we're waiting for him and Kara to get married."

Rian blushed at the mention of his girlfriend.

"Anyway, you need to call your mother. She wasn't impressed with your signal stunt."

"How do you know that?" I asked, confused.

"She's in my kitchen. Bye."

Once she hung up, I realised what I had forgotten to ask.

"Shit! I should've asked her how they found out!"

"No duh, genius." Jack quipped.

"Shut the hell up." I muttered, dialing my mom's number.

"Alexander." she greeted.

"Mom." I whimpered.

She sighed.

"You could've at least invited us! I had to find out from your cousin Allie!"

"Wait, Allie?"

Jack sat up at the mention of her name. Allie was my 19 year old cousin who Jack described as "Queen of the fan-girls".

"She was on Buzznet and saw an article about your marriage."

"Go on Buzznet!" I mouthed.

"Just a minute, mom. I need to check something."

On Buzznet's homepage was a link to a story. It said:

"Which lead singer and guitarist have sneaked off to Vegas and got hitched?"

"Fuck my life." I whispered.