In My Dreams It's Me And You

Flashback; Five Years Ago

Nathalie's POV

“Make sure you clean this shit up.” I watched as he exchanged an empty can for a fresh beer from the bag at his feet, quickly draining this and replacing it with another.

“Yes Jake,” I answered quietly, hiding behind a sheet of blonde hair, staring straight at my feet. Blonde was the colour he liked on girls so that’s what he made me change mine too, uncaring as the strength of the bleach scorched my scalp as he forced it to cover my dyed-brunette hair.

“Sorry, I didn’t hear you,” he replied, taking the last swig from the can of beer in his hand and throwing it on the floor, even though the bin was only a few steps away from him. “What was that?” I flinched as he touched my face; that was a mistake. “Fucking look at me when I’m talking to you!” His hand struck hard against my cheek causing me to fall, clutching at my cheek as I could feel the bruise beginning to form underneath my fingertips.

Just another one to add to my collection.

“You’ve been drinking again… you promised you would stop!” I cried pitifully, crawling back shakily onto my feet, still clutching at where he had hit me. “It’s just the drink that makes you want to hurt me…”

“Don’t fucking speak unless I ask you a question!” He roared, forcing me backwards until my back slammed against the wall, pinning me there. His voice dropped to a whisper. However as quickly as his rage had built, it tumbled just as quickly. It was one of the few things that made me grateful for his drinking. “I’m going out.” He dropped my hands and stumbled to the door, almost tripping on the can he had discarded earlier. I gave no clue that I saw this happen as I was scared he would just hit me again if I laughed; not even daring to look at him as he grabbed his keys from the side and went out the door, locking it behind him.

After I heard his car leave the drive and disappear down the road I slowly slid down the wall, tears streaming down my cheeks, the bruise beginning to sting from the gentle pressure the water tracks created. Somewhere close to where I was my cell began to ring; normally Jake took it with him whenever he went out so I couldn’t call anyone but he must have forgotten this time, just concentrating in getting more alcohol and sex from a nearby bar. It wasn’t like I was going to bother answering it anyway- Chloe and Luke already suspected Jake but I couldn’t let them take him away from me. I knew it was stupid and wrong, but I couldn’t bear to be without him. Not after Mom and Dad. My cell rang again a few more times but I ignored it still; unable to bring myself to face my friends even though I knew they just wanted to help.

Eventually the room seeped back into silence; with nothing to challenge it except the odd whimper from my lips. Sometimes I thought about leaving, but I knew I would never have the strength to do it. After all these months of him telling me he owned me I began to believe it.

“Nat?” I instantly tensed as I heard the voice from beyond the door, drawing my knees to my chest and hugging them close. My eyes instantly locked onto the empty can I had yet to pick up causing my heart to begin to hammer in my chest- Jake hated when I didn’t do what he asked. “Nat? Open the door!”

I curled up tighter, knowing that I was already in trouble for the can and my body just acted defensively. Eventually a fist went through the glass in the door and began to grope for the handle, my head burying itself in my arms as I just waited for my punishment to begin. At least if I was quieter, it wouldn’t last as long.

“Oh my God…” My body jumped when someone touched my shoulder. Chloe and Luke both crouched down in front of me with worry etched into their eyes, carefully trying to undo the death-grip I had forced myself into. “Nat?” Chloe reached over to touch my cheek, gasping as I flinched and exposed the growing bruise there. “Babe why have you let him do this to you?”

“I fell over,” I mumbled, staring at my hands.

“Nobody falls over like this Nat,” she replied softly, gently turning my head to the side to get a better view. “It was Jake, wasn’t it?”

I turned away. “I deserved it.”

“Nothing you could have done allows him to hurt you Nat,” Luke said, gently unhooking my arms and pulling me up into his arms. “You should have said something; we would have helped.”

Before I could reply the familiar sounds of Jake’s engine came roaring back into the drive, causing me to push myself out of Luke’s embrace and scramble across the floor to pick up the can. I glanced out of the window to have my fears confirmed; Jake had come back. With no time to waste I looked back at them with fear in my eyes, whispering urgently, “You need to get out of here!”

“Like fuck I do,” Chloe growled, shaking off my warnings as I tried to stop her from throwing open the door and storming out to face Jake. “What the fuck do you think you are playing at?”

I ran out after her. “Chloe don’t!”

Jake’s eyes moved from Chloe’s to mine, smirking. “Yeah Clo, what are you doing? Can’t you see you are upsetting Nathalie?”

Her expression softened for the brief moments she was looking at me, almost seeming apologetic before she turned back to Jake, now enraged. “You’ve done this to her you little fucker!”

“I haven’t done anything.”

“Sure you haven’t,” Chloe snorted. “You’re probably too wrapped up in your own sadistic world to notice anything you are doing.”

“Nat, why don’t you come down here?” Chloe looked pained as I walked obediently to him, staring at the floor as I passed her so I couldn’t meet with her eyes. I fixated my gaze upon my feet, standing motionless as he held me by the shoulders. “See? There isn’t anything wrong. Is there Nat?”

I shook my head at his command, automatically answering, “No.”

He smirked. “My beautiful butterfly has spoken. So why don’t you leave?”

“I’m not listening to a little shit like you,” Chloe snarled. “So why don’t you just go get back in your car, and do us all a favour and wrap it around a fucking-”

I stopped her. “Just go Chloe.”

“But…”

“Chloe…” I looked up at her, pleading. “Just go.”

“See?” Jake never could resist an opportunity to annoy someone, especially when he knew they could do nothing in return. “Nat doesn’t want you here.”

Despite looking ready to protest she did what I asked and began to leave, murmuring at Luke to follow. Normally Chloe would not back down from an argument even if she was on the losing side, so when she did this time it surprised me; that was until she walked past the two of us and slammed her fist into his face.

“Like I believe any of the shit that comes out of your mouth!” Chloe screamed, ready to launch another attack had it not been for Luke who held her back. “You’ve fucking broken her!”

“You fucking bitch,” Jake hissed, pushing me to the side so that he could try and get at Chloe. “I’m going to fucking get you for that!”

“Jake don’t!” I pleaded, quickly moving back in front of him and trying to push him away. “Don’t hurt her!”

“Get out the fucking way!” He roared, flinging me harder this time so that I fell onto the sidewalk, whimpering as I clutched at the arm that struck the unforgiving concrete. Jake looked down at me with disgust. “Stop being a fucking drama queen,” he spat. “Sometimes I wonder why the fuck I’m still with you; you never do anything right.”

“You don’t mean that,” I said desperately, picking myself up off the ground onto shaking legs, allowing my injured arm to just hang unsupported, trying to hide the pain. There was no doubt in my mind that it was probably broken; I’ve suffered enough of those injuries to know the signs. “You love me.” I clung onto his shirt with my good hand. “You know you do!”

“If I want love then I’ll go to a strip club,” Jake said coldly, showing no hint of guilt at all from his words.

“You don’t mean that,” I whispered, shaking my head. “You don’t mean that…”

He laughed; the chilling sounds calling the first tears to form. “Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. I’m seeing someone else.”

“No…” I mumbled, shaking my head faster. “You’re lying…”

“Am I?” He pulled out his cell and began to play a video of himself and another girl. “You recognise Poppy right? Why did you think she was over here all the time? She wasn’t admiring the fucking scenery, that’s for sure. Well, she was admiring one thing.” Despite my shaking as it all suddenly dawned on me he still continued. “And you know that lingerie you found in the bedroom that I said must have got mixed up with our stuff from the laundrette? That was hers.”

“Stop it,” I whispered, trying in vain to block out what he was saying. “You’re lying just to hurt me… it’s the drink again.”

“I don’t love you,” he said, amused at my despair. “I never have.” He turned to walk away back to his car, pausing with his leg hooked in to direct his last few words before leaving at Chloe and Luke. “You’re welcome to her.”

“He’s gone.” My knees buckled underneath me as my whole world came crashing down. I’m not going to lie and say it was the best one for me, but it was the only one I had. It almost felt like all the lights had just suddenly gone out and left me in darkness.

Luke pulled me back onto my feet, holding me in place since my legs weren’t going to do it by themselves. His arms around me were gentler than Jake’s could’ve ever been, but they still felt wrong. What use are pillows to a deluded masochist?

“Nat, you can stay with me if you like,” he murmured, trying to still my shaking frame. “It’s not a problem.”

“No… I’ll…I want to go back home.” Directly after my mom and dad’s death I went to live with Jake at his apartment even though I had been left the whole estate, not wanting to be alone. Back then, he was the only family I had left. That was until now. “I…” I broke down, unable to speak any more as I cried into Luke’s chest.

He exchanged worried looks with Chloe as he just held me, trying his best not to jostle my arm. “Come on Nat. We’ll look after you now. You don’t need to be afraid anymore.”