In My Dreams It's Me And You

How could I have been so stupid?

As soon as I had shut the door my legs gave way from underneath me, my head falling onto my knees as I pulled them close. I knew that as soon as I looked up that they had seen them, even though I had spent the extra time in the bathroom putting on foundation to try and hide the bruises that happened only hours before.

“Nathalie?” A voice on the other side asked, my heart beating faster as they continued with their name. “It’s only me. Brian.”

The sound of someone shuffling on the floor reached me just before a note slipped under the door, followed shortly after by a clean piece of paper and a pencil. I picked it up in my hands and quickly scanned it, tears smudging the few letters there as they fell upon the note.

I love you.

Where there should have been elation in my heart, there was nothing. The only thing I could think of was how he wasn’t there when Jake came over, when he...

“Don’t cry Nathalie,” Brian murmured worriedly from the other side. I could hear how tired he was from his voice, probably because he and Zacky had decided to drive through the night to get to us in the morning. And what did I do to greet him? “I don’t want the first time I see you after I’ve been gone to be of you crying.”

Despite his heartfelt sincerity I couldn’t seem to break away from the depression that had taken hold of me, tightening my grip around my knees as my mind replayed the events with Jake over and over again. I didn't even notice as the door opened behind me and Brian slipped inside, reaching across and pulling me onto his lap.

“Maybe I should have brought you back a teddy bear as well,” Brian murmured, running his fingers across my arm. His touch only made me shudder; antagonizing my thoughts and forcing me to my feet, away from him. “Chloe seemed happy enough.”

“I'm sorry.”

Purposely avoiding getting anywhere close to my bed I walked over to my window, sitting myself on the side and staring out of it. I felt horrible being like this as deep down I knew it wasn't his fault, but the feeling of him abandoning me... I couldn't get rid of it. Plus it didn’t help that whenever he touched me I just imagined Jake in his place.

“For what?” He asked, sounding every bit confused as I felt.

“Everything.”

As I turned to face him I could tell that he instantly saw the bruises on my cheek, the foundation had already rubbed off and the light just made it even more noticeable. However the words I expected to come didn't; instead he just stood there, silent.

I could feel my eyes water as his gaze dropped, obviously avoiding mine. After balancing myself I drew my knees back to my chest, resting my chin on them as I stared at the window. “Just go Brian.”

This must have been the exact thing to get Brian's attention as he suddenly jerked, stumbling over his own feet as he turned to me.

“You... you want me to go?” Brian asked slowly, his tone a mixture of confusion and sorrow. As he began to walk over he almost tripped over a random pile of clothes, his hair falling across his eyes as he brought himself back to his feet. “Why? Have I done something? Did something happen?”

I shook my head, burrowing my face into my knees as I pulled them closer. “You wouldn't want to know.”

“Nat...” He joined me on the windowsill, draping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me so that I was now leaning on his chest. I almost reflexively pushed away from him as Jake littered my thoughts but Brian’s touch was softer; safer. Something I knew I shouldn’t run from. “Tell me. What's wrong?”

“When you were gone, I-” I soon stopped, my throat becoming dry as if to keep me quiet about what happened.

“You..?”

Shaking my head, I curled my arm around his neck and nestled my head into his chest. “It doesn't matter.”

As I glanced up at him he opened his mouth as if he were going to say something but soon shut it out of resignation, running his fingers gently through my hair. Instead he shifted underneath me slightly so that he could reach into his pocket, pulling out a black iPod and putting one headphone in my ear, and the other in his. I couldn't see what the song was since I couldn't see the screen, a gentle guitar riff soon beginning followed shortly after by what I recognised to be Matt's voice.

“One of your new songs?” I asked, only to be silenced with a 'listen'.

I was about to protest when I heard a familiar set of lyrics; the very ones I had randomly sung when messing about with my guitar before. He had remembered them.

The stars in the night, they lend me their light
To bring me closer to heaven with you.

Before I knew it I could feel the tears gathering, enhanced by the beauty of the words that were being sung. Towards the end of the song Brian was singing as well, softly murmuring the words in my ear in time with the music.

Once it finished I didn't know what to say, unable to find the words to describe it.

“Like it?”

I couldn't help but mimic his smile as I looked up at him, raising his hand to my cheek to gently wipe away the few tears that fell. “It was beautiful.” I carefully intertwined my fingers with his as he brought his hand to my lap, rubbing my thumb over the 'A' tattoo there. “Do I get to listen to the rest, or not?”

He shook his head. “Nope.”

“Why not?” I demanded, a pout threatening to form.

“Because-” He began, flicking me lightly on my nose. “I wasn't even meant to let you listen to that, so be grateful. You got a sneak peek at the awesomeness that is me.”

“Hmm?” I feigned not paying attention, knowing it would annoy him. Being ignored was something he didn't like at the best of times, especially when it is during one of his 'I'm-the-best-at-everything' claims. He wasn’t so easily antagonised when we first met, so I think I might have had a bad effect on him. “Oh, I'll remember to tell the guys how great they were. Zacky really sounded great in the solo.”

“Zacky?!” Brian exclaimed, holding me out at arm's length with an incredulous look on his face. “It was MY solo, not his! I worked hard t-”

To prevent him from going any further I quickly pressed my lips against his, instantly muffling any argument he tried to make. His hand soon crept up my back sending shivers down my spine, both of us grinning when we finally broke apart. At last I was beginning to feel comfortable around him again; the plague of Jake dying down with each tender moment.

“What was that you were saying?” I asked slyly, all the while running my lips up the side of his neck.

“I forget.”

Before I could stop him he scooped his arms around me and lifted me up, carrying me in the direction of the bed. When he tried to put me down however I immediately locked my limbs around him, my heart beating frantically at the idea of being in that bed again.

“Hey! Hey! You're choking me Nat!”

Despite this I still stubbornly clung on, only letting go once Brian lost balance and fell backwards, away from the bed. He sat up and rubbed his neck as I rolled off him, my eyes wearily locked upon the object he had just tried to put me on.

“God Nat,” Brian wheezed, rubbing at the angry red mark that bore the exact imprint of my fingers. “Just tell us next time you want to get down.” His words were muffled by the large yawn that followed, stretching his arms above his head before dragging me over to him, his arm holding me close to his side as he lay down again. “I'll forgive you this time.”

In a matter of seconds his eye had already closed and was letting out a soft snore, obviously exhausted from driving back through the night with Zacky. Hell, I think most people would after a trip with Zacky, unless of course you were Chloe who seemed to be one of the only people with more energy than him.

I pressed his arm closer to my waist and turned slightly to look back at him, returning the smile he gave me after I spoke. “Don't leave me again.”

He didn't open his eyes so I couldn't tell if he was awake or not, but it didn't stop his arms from drawing me closer to him, replying with the exact thing that could calm my thoughts.

“I'm yours forever.”