World I Never Knew

Two months later

“Ang!” Joe called up the stairs. “Can you come down here?”

“Coming!” she called. She turned back to the computer screen and saved the document she had been working in. Her speech was very slowly coming together but she wanted it to be perfect. Turning of the monitor she rolled away from the desk and made her way down the stairs.

“Hey,” Joe said, taking her hand and leading her to the living room.

“What’s going on?” she asked as she sat down.

“I have to go somewhere for a few days.”

“How long is a few?” she asked, blinking her eyes as she stared at him in confusion.

“Two or three. I’m leaving early tomorrow morning.”

“Wait, you’re going alone?”

“Yeah but I have to go alone. I’ll be back before you know it.” He said, pulling her up from the couch and wrapping his arms around her. “How’s the speech coming?”

“It’s… coming.” She said, shrugging her shoulders. “It’s proving more difficult than I thought. I figured after being able to tell you and your family my story I’d be able to just write it all down. Then I think about how there will be thousands of people there and a whole bunch of press and I get nervous. I go back and delete and rewrite countless times. I just want it to be perfect. I want it to express who I am and how difficult this is on people who suffer like I did. I want… I want to make a difference.” She said, choking on the last few words. Joe placed his hands on the back of her head and she pressed her face into his chest, silently crying.

“You will make a difference. People will come and they’ll hear you speak and their hearts will melt hearing your story and meeting you that they’ll want to make a difference. So many kids are going to have much better care with the money we will raise.” He said, kissing her forehead.

“What time exactly are you leaving tomorrow morning?”

“Six thirty.”

“Okay, I’ll set my alarm for six.”

“You will not.” He said, leading her to the kitchen where Denise was preparing dinner.

“Why not? I want to say goodbye to you before you go.”

“Because, my dear Angela, I am making tonight date night. I have made dinner reservations at one of the best restaurants. Then, we’ll come back here and go downstairs to the basement slash home theater. I have picked some movies I think you will really enjoy.”

“You planned all this for me?” she asked, looking over at Denise who smiled.

“Yes… I even bought you a dress.”

“Really?” she asked, her eyes widening.

“Go look in your closet.” He whispered in her ear. Angela gave him a quizzical look before leaving his side and heading back up the stairs.

She flicked the light switch on in her room and walked over to the closet. With a shaking hand she pulled the door open. Hanging on the inside was a beautiful, calf length, blue dress. Angela gasped and reached out, running her fingers over the smooth silk.

“To match your eyes,” Joe said softly, walking up to Angela and wrapping his arms around her waist.

“It’s beautiful.” She whispered.

“You should probably get ready.” He said, kissing her scarred cheek. “We have to leave in an hour.”

“Alright. I’ll see you in awhile.” She said, turning around in his arms. She reached up and gave him a kiss as he slid his hand down her scarred arm, giving her hand a last squeeze.

****

“Dinner was amazing.” Angela said as she and Joe walked back to the car. “Although slightly crowded.”

“I’m sorry about the paparazzi.” He said with a sigh, running a hand through his hair.

“It’s not your fault.” She said, touching a hand to his chest. “Besides… I think I’m finally getting used to it.”

“I noticed. You were very calm.” He closed her door for her and walked around to the driver’s side. “Okay, so when we get home, we’ll go upstairs and change into our most comfortable pajamas for our movie extravaganza.”

“Sounds exciting.” She said, turning her head to smile at him as he started the drive back to the house.

Upon arrival Joe and Angela walked to the door where he placed his lips on hers while pushing the door open. They walked hand in hand up the staircase into their separate rooms. Angela rifled through her drawers and decided on her comfiest pair of flannel pants and one of Joe’s Penn State t-shirts he gave her. She stuffed her feet into her pink fuzzy slippers and went out into the hallway where she burst out laughing.

“Is something wrong?” Joe asked with a frown. He was dressed in blue, rocket ship, footie pajamas.

“No! I just wasn’t expecting to see you dressed as a five year old!” she said, walking over and wrapping her arms around his waist.

“I hope you know that these are in fact the comfiest pajamas I have ever owned. Plus, I was deprived of footie pajamas when I was a small child.” He said, linking his fingers with hers and leading her down the stairs where they made a stop in the kitchen. Nick turned around from the freezer when he heard their voices, a pint of ice cream in his hands. When he saw Joe he burst out laughing.

“What the hell are you wearing?” he asked, doubling over in laughter. “We haven’t worn those since we were like… eight.”

“Oh is that so?” Angela asked, crossing her arms and fake glaring at Joe.

“Thanks, Nick.” Joe muttered.

“What did I do?” Nick asked, throwing his hands in the air.

“Joe had just told me that he never owned a pair of footie pajamas when he was little.” She laughed.

“Oh please, he was the king of footie pajamas. He owned more than Kevin and I combined.”

“Okay! Movie time.” Joe said, grabbing Angela’s elbow and leading her to the basement.

“But… what about popcorn?” she asked, pointing over her shoulder towards the kitchen.

“I’ve got it covered.”

They rounded the corner at the bottom of the stairs and Angela gasped at what Joe had done. He had constructed a huge blanket fort in the middle of the room and placed glow in the dark stars on the ceiling. In the corner sat a table with the selection of movies. Next to the table stood an old fashioned popcorn machine, filled with fresh, hot, popcorn.

“Joe, this is amazing. You did all this?”

“Yeah… with Frankie’s help building the fort.” He said. “You go make yourself comfortable and I’ll pop our first movie in and grab snacks.”

“So what movie are we watching?” she asked from in the fort, Joe’s body not visible to her. She grabbed some pillows and surrounded her body with them, pulling a fleece blanket on top.

“You’ll see,” he said, the screen turning blue as he turned on the DVD player. “There better be room for me in there.” He said, his voice growing louder as he stepped closer.

“Nope. No room at the inn.” She joked. Joe rolled his eyes as he ducked into the fort. He nestled down into the pillows and set the bowl of popcorn in his lap, passing Angela a bottle of water. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders as the preview started.

Together their laughter mingled together in imperfect harmony at certain previews. They groaned during the stupid ones. Before long the opening credits started.

“The Proposal?” she asked. “I’ve never heard of it.”

“I assume you’ve never heard of any of the movies I have lined up for us. Mainly because they were all made in the past five years.”

“This night just keeps getting better.” She said, nuzzling into his chest.

****

The next morning Angela woke up in the fort alone. She had fallen asleep sometime during their fourth movie in Joe’s arms. She hadn’t felt or heard him get up to go. Sitting up and rubbing her eyes she noticed a note hanging from the front of the fort. Leaning forward she reached out and grabbed it.

Angela,

I’m sorry I didn’t wake you up. I didn’t have the heart to. You looked so beautiful sleeping. I just want you to know I enjoyed last night so much. I hope to have many more nights just like that one. I’ll be back before you know it. While I’m gone you’ll finish your speech and time will just fly by. Don’t worry about having to do anything else for the concert. It’s all taken care of. Miss you already.

Love, Joe

She smiled as she climbed out of the fort. Her body was sore from sleeping on the floor so she stretched before going upstairs. Denise stood in the kitchen cooking breakfast. She turned when she heard Angela’s presence.

“Good morning, Angela. Would you like some breakfast?”

“No thanks. I think I’m just going to go upstairs and work on my speech.” She said, giving a smile.

Angela sat up there almost all day. A few hours into her work Denise brought her a sandwich and stayed until Angela took a few bites. Angela’s eyes were glued to the screen for almost twelve hours as she typed, deleted, and re-typed.

By seven o’clock the next morning Angela was finally satisfied with half of her speech. There was still something missing though. She couldn’t figure out what. Her head turned when she heard someone out in the hallway. Opening the door she peeked out and saw Frankie coming out of the bathroom.

“Frankie,” she whispered. “Come here a minute.”

“What are you doing up so early?” he asked as she closed the door behind him.

“You know Frankie, I’m not even sure I really fell asleep.” She admitted, sitting back in the desk chair as Frankie crawled onto the bed.

“Wow. So what’s up?”

“I need your help with something.”

“Okay. Anything.” He said, smiling at her.

“Okay well for the concert I have to write a speech. It’s taking me a really long time because I’m not sure exactly what to say. So I’m going to read you what I have and I need you to tell me if it’s good enough.”

“Okay. Go ahead.”

A few minutes later Angela had read everything to Frankie that she had written down. He sat with his chin in his hands, lightly tapping it. It took everything Angela had to hold her laughter in. Slowly Frankie stood up from the bed and walked over to Angela. He stood directly in front of her and put his hands on top of hers.

“Angela that is really, really good. But it’s missing something.”

“That’s what I was thinking.” she said smiling at him.

“You need to make it more… Angela.” He said, shrugging his shoulders. Angela contemplated this a moment before putting her hands on Frankie’s cheeks. She leaned in and kissed his forehead.

“Thank you Frankie. That actually helps me a lot. Why don’t you go back to bed?”

“Okay. See you later.” He said, stepping out into the hallway, quietly closing the door behind him. Angela, still smiling, turned back to the computer screen.

****

Two days later, the thirteenth of February, Angela woke up at 2:30 in the afternoon. She had slept for twelve hours straight. The most sleep she had gotten in the past few days with Joe gone. She had stayed up so late in order to finish her sleep. After she registered what day it was she jumped out of bed and showered and dressed as quickly as she could before rushing downstairs. She skidded to a halt in the living room and Kevin looked up at her from the book he was reading.

“He’s not home yet.” He said, smiling at her.

“Oh,” she said, frowning and sitting on the couch next to him. “Do you know when he’ll be back?”

“Probably not until tonight.” He said, setting his book down.

“Where’s Danielle?”

“Out with Mom getting some last minute things for tomorrow.”

“Nick?”

“Up in his room working on a new song. And Dad took Frankie with him to the venue, in case you were wondering.” He said with a laugh.

“I was actually. So it’s just us.”

“Yup.” He said, glancing over at her. She sat with her arms crossed. She seemed deep in thought. “Is there something you want to talk about?”

“No. Why would you think that?” she asked, looking over at him. He raised his eyebrow and she sighed. “Yes… there is.”

“My ears are wide open.”

“Okay well… tomorrow’s Valentine’s Day. I’ve had boyfriends before… when I was younger and before all this happened.” She said, waving her hand over the left side of her body. “But… back then I never had a boyfriend for Valentine’s Day. I’m just… not sure what to expect. I mean… after what Joe did for me the other night in the basement and with the dinner I’m not sure if he’ll do anything tomorrow but he’s unpredictable. You’re his brother. Do you think he has anything planned?”

“Of course he does. But I don’t know what it is. You’re right about him being unpredictable. As far as we know it could be anything.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.” She said, resting her head on the back of the couch.

“Can I ask you a question now?” he asked, mocking her pose.

“Sure,” she said, shrugging her shoulders.

“How much do you love my brother?”

“Honestly?” she asked and he nodded his head. “I never thought I’d be capable of love after everything I’ve been through. I wasn’t sure I wanted love to be honest. But… once I saw Joe something inside of me clicked but I felt nothing could ever happen between us. I never thought he’d fall in love with me as much as I’d fallen in love with him.

“When he took me out to dinner the other night I barely noticed the paparazzi because I was so engrossed in him. It’s only been such a short while but in that short while he’s become my everything. I know that sounds weird seeing as how I had nothing before him but the two of us together could create magic… I know it sounds silly.”

“That doesn’t sound silly at all. That’s how I feel about Danielle in a way. Our wedding was like Cinderella coming to life.”

“Well my relationship with Joe feels somewhat like Beauty and the Beast coming to life. Minus the whole magical turning into a literal beast thing. My scars are beastly enough.”

“Angela, there’s no way that someone with a heart like yours could ever be considered a beast. I mean come on, have you seen Joe in the morning?” he asked with a laugh.

“You’re really sweet, you know that?” she asked, reaching over and giving him a hug.

“I’ve heard it once or twice.” He said, relaxing against the couch again.

Within the next few hours Nick had emerged from his room, Danielle and Denise arrived home, and Kevin Sr. and Frankie had returned from the venue. Angela sat in the guest room, re-reading her speech one last time, preparing to print it out. The sound of the front door opening and closing turned her attention to the hallway. Footsteps on the stairs had her rolling the chair closer to the doorway. The sound of his voice had her on her feet.

“Miss me?” he asked, stepping into her room. She smiled and walked over, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding him tight. “I take that as a yes.” He said with a laugh. She pulled away and placed her lips on his.

“Hi,” she whispered, keeping her arms around his neck as his rested on her waist.

“Hi,” he whispered back, kissing her forehead.

“How was the trip?”

“Good, I got exactly what I needed. Did you finish your speech?”

“Yeah, I was just getting ready to print it out.” She said, nodding towards the computer.

“Can I read it?”

“No, you’ll have to wait until tomorrow.”

“Oh but that’s so far away.” He groaned.

“Well it’s late. We’ll be going to bed soon and then when you wake up it will be tomorrow. A few more hours and I’ll be on the stage reading it. Out loud. In front of thousands of people. Oh God.” She said, panic rising in her voice.

“Hey, hey, hey,” he said, leading her to the bed. “I thought you were over this part.”

“I was because I realized it was far away but now… it’s all so… frightening and real.” She said.

“Just take a bunch of deep breaths before you get on the stage. Remember, Nick, Kevin, and I will be on stage with you the entire time. The band, too. You have nothing to worry about.”

“I know.” She said, nodding her head against his chest. “Okay… tomorrow will be fine. I think I’ll go to bed now so I’ll be fully rested.”

“From what I heard you got a nice amount of sleep last night.” He said teasingly.

“Did you also hear it was the most sleep I got the entire time you were gone?” she asked.

“No I was not informed of that.” He said a grin on his face as he played with her hair.

“Seriously though… time for bed.” She said, standing up, pulling him up on the way.

“But I just got back.” He said, pouting.

“Too bad. Goodnight.” She said, reaching up and giving him a kiss.

“Goodnight, beautiful.”

****

Joe, Kevin, Nick, and Kevin Sr. left early the next morning for a quick sound check. Angela left with Denise, Danielle, and Frankie. As they approached the venue Angela noticed the throngs of people walking from their cars all decked out in Jonas Brothers attire. Here and there she could see children in wheelchairs as well as some adults. Burn victims from the hospital. She couldn’t help the single tear falling from her cheek as they reached their destination.

Big Rob met them at the parking area and escorted them into the venue. When they rounded a corner Angela saw crowds of people in different areas of the venue. They seemed to be looking at things. Denise linked her arms through Angela’s and when Angela looked at her she saw Denise smiling with a few tears dripping down her face.

“What’s going on?” she whispered.

“Take a closer look.” Denise said, pointing to their right. Angela turned to the right and craned her neck to see what they were looking at.

“Mommy look,” a little girl said. “It’s the girl from the painting.”

Angela looked at the little girl and noticed she was talking about her. She glanced over at Denise who loosened her grip and Angela wove her way through the crowd. A break in the people gave her the view of what had grabbed their attention. It was a painting. A painting of her that she had painted herself. It was based on a picture of her when she was younger… before the accident. It had been sitting, finished, in her attic for the past few years. She felt a presence next to her and looked to find Denise.



“He told me about your paintings. I suggested he do something sweet for Valentine’s Day and go get them for you and place them randomly around the house. He one upped me by putting them on display here.” She said, her voice wavering at times. “I hope it’s okay. He was a bit nervous about it.”

“It’s more than okay. It’s perfect.” Angela whispered, tears slowly cascading down her face. She turned to embrace Denise.

Glancing towards the stage she saw Joe waving towards her, a smile on her face. As they got closer to the stage she noticed her favorite portrait of herself sitting on an easel on the stage. It was her most recent portrait. It was her present self sans scars. That was how she wanted to look. Beautiful. She reached backstage and attacked Joe with a hug.



“Thank you so much.” She whispered. “This is amazing and completely unexpected.”

“I’m glad you like it.” He said, breathing in the scent of her hair. “It’s almost time.”

“I know.”

“Are you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.” She said, taking a deep breath.

“Okay, we have to get onstage now to sing a few songs. Don’t forget to take deep breaths.” He said, holding her by the shoulders.

“I won’t.” she promised.

“I love you.” he said, giving her a kiss.

“I love you too.”

She smiled at him as he, Kevin, and Nick joined the band. The curtains parted and the music started. Angela watched in amazement. This was the first time she was seeing Joe and his brothers perform and it was more thrilling than she ever imagined it to be. As they played and sang she took deep breaths, reading her speech over and over again. Finally, it was time.

“Thank you everyone.” Joe said, his voice magnified by the microphone. “Now it’s time for a break from the music to bring out the reason why we are we all here. I’d like to introduce to you, my girlfriend, third degree burn survivor, Angela Matthews.” He said and the crowd erupted in applause. Angela stepped onto stage, a huge smile on her face. She looked out at the crowd taking note of all the burn victims in front of the stage.

“Thank you so much,” she said into the microphone, her voice calm. “This means so much to me seeing so many people here. I know there have been a lot of questions from the media about what happened to me and I know that you know that I suffered from third degree burns but you don’t know the whole story.

“It all started when I was 13 and my brother, Mike, passed away from leukemia. Things went downhill from there. I became the kind of teenager all parents hate. I was rude, I was disrespectful to everyone, and my grades started slipping in school as boyfriends became my top priority.

“When I was 15 my parents died in a car accident. Not long after that I knocked over a candle in my house issuing a large fire. I suffered third degree burns on the entire left side of my body. The doctors said I was lucky to survive. You can’t tell but these scars on my face continue on the entire left side of my body. Head to toe.

“You see all these fundraisers for childhood cancers, diabetes, and other diseases but I rarely see fundraisers for burn victims. No one knows how traumatizing and terrifying suffering from burns is. It took me months of physical recuperation but the mental recuperation will happen for the rest of my life. I flinch whenever I’m around fire. I can’t help it.

“Because of how I looked I never thought anyone could love such a… beast. I hated the way I looked. At my home in Vermont I got rid of all the mirrors. I painted portraits of how I used to look. This one on my left is the only I have painted of my present self sans scars. This is how I wish I looked most of the time. But right now… seeing all of these special people here has made me realize that this is who I am. These scars tell a story that has impacted me strongly.

“Dealing with paparazzi and even regular people has been hard but not as terrible as I imagined after secluding myself for five years. Joe and the rest of the Jonas family have helped me through that. For those of you here tonight who share my scars, I have something to say to you. You are beautiful as you are. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. They are wrong. They will always be wrong. What matters isn’t what’s on the outside… what matters is what’s on the inside, in your heart. Everyone is different and everyone is special and love comes to those who can give it fully and deeply.” She said, a lump in her throat as she looked out at the crowd. There was not a single dry face in the house as everyone applauded her. Joe stepped forward and wrapped an arm around her waist, turning the mic towards his body.

“Angela, thank you so much. Thank you for giving us who you are.” He said, kissing her forehead. “I have something I’d like to say. Angela has changed not only mine, but my brothers’ perspective on life. Nick said it best the other month. Some things that seemed so… dull, imperfect, or ugly at first glance are really very beautiful under the surface once you take the time to actually look at them.

“Angela, you are the most beautiful person I have ever met… inside and out. I love you more than I ever thought I could love someone else. I know it’s only been a short while that we’ve been together but I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?” he asked, getting down on one knee, pulling a ring out of his jeans pocket, holding her scarred hand in his. Angela’s right hand was placed over her mouth, tears escaping her eyes.

“Yes, I will.” She said with a laugh. He stood up and placed the ring on her finger, the two different beauties mixing together. He wrapped his arms around her waist and twirled her around the stage.

Love filled the hearts of everyone that night as Angela fully pulled herself away from concealment. From that night on she walked around showing her scars proudly, not caring about the whispers and snickers. Angela had finally learned that it was possible for someone to learn to love a beast.